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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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I gave my husband everything and now there is nothing left of me....
Q. Hi everyone! I'm 25yr I'm a housewife and mother of 3 (3yrs, 2yrs and a 6m)have been married for 3yrs but been together for 6yrs with my husband...our relationship has been going through rough roads for the pass years mainly coz I feel neglected ...
A. 7 December 2010: It seems as though he is completely letting go of this marriage. Was he always this inconsiderate of your feelings? You did nothing wrong. All you did was try to be the best mother for your children and the best wife for him. Yet he still blames you ... (read in full...)
Can he take me to court or stop me from leaving the country? Or is he just pissed?
Q. okay my ex and are not talking and yesterday i sent him a text saying 'i know that car was your gf's she told me (bluff). how could you leave me in a hosiptal all alone crying my eyes out and thinking my baby was going to die, while you were ...
A. 18 November 2010: Take you to court for what? Did you take any action or threaten him in any way? If not, he has nothing...
Leave the country as you please, birth this child and raise it well. You are free to leave him and there is no reason why you shouldn'... (read in full...)
I feel selfish for wanting to move away when my mother is ill, but I want a future of my own!
Q. I am the full time carer for my Mother. I have brother's but they refuse to do anything for her. I am in love with a man in another country and I really want to be with him, he feels the same way as me, but circumstances won't allow him to immigrate ...
A. 18 November 2010: We must sacrifice our wants sometimes in order to take responsibility. That is the harsh truth of life.
It is no reason to lose hope though. The title says your mother is ill, what is she ill with? If it is something debilitating, I would think ab... (read in full...)
It is so close to our wedding but we both have doubts! What should I do?
Q. Hi, I was in love with a guy.We are in relationship since 2yrs now.We decided to get married.He used to do all lovely things to me.Very caring,Affectinate,Not at all aggressive and all.Everything was so smooth and going pretty well. Suddenly ...
A. 18 November 2010: Tell the parents to stop. You wish to postpone the wedding. It is best if both of you go and talk to your parents, make it clear that neither of you are ready to get married until you sort all of the issues out. They may deny you of this and they ... (read in full...)
He's a closed book.
Q. Hello there. I'm I'm a LRD. I love it a lot. But lately he's been a closed book. well actually, he has always been. I've never really noticed it much till now, and i'm not sure how to deal with it. I'm always throwing myself at him, and he is just ...
A. 18 November 2010: Tell him that you just want him to open up to you. Be honest with him about how you feel and where you feel this relationship is going. To be honest though, Long distance relationships rarely work, there are issues like this which eventually become ... (read in full...)
Caught by her dad in a compromising position, what do I do now?
Q. I just had sex with my girlfriend...she consented to it of course but... we're both 16 and we did it in her dad's office. we did it when everybody was out and her dad came back earlier than expected...she got caught with me in an awkward position ...
A. 18 November 2010: What can you do? Her father has probably had a stern talk with her and I can only assume that he is distraught, concerned and possibly traumatized, after all, you did do it in his office and he has to go there everyday...
I guess if you can must... (read in full...)
Do I marry the guy my parents chose for me...or stay with my boyfriend?
Q. i am a 27 year old from a very conservative family and am in love with a boy outside my community/religion. I have been seeing him for 2 1/2 years and am in love with him. He is kind, sensitive and we get along great.My parents have found a boy fo...
A. 18 November 2010: Do you love your boyfriend? If you do, do not go along with the arranged marriage. If you do not, personally, I believe you still should not go along with the arranged marriage.
Debts will be repayed at the cost of having children as soon as you d... (read in full...)
Office gossip about my boss and me! What should I do?
Q. i am having problems with this women at work she has started spreading lies about my boss and i that my boss and i are having sexual relations via texts which isn't true and that i'm wanting to sleep with my boss its gone around the workplace, and i ...
A. 18 November 2010: I think what it means is that he does not think anything of it, it is just a hollow rumor. The smile could have just been friendly, to make things less awkward or uncomfortable, rather than forwning or glaring seriously. I think it was his way of ... (read in full...)
How do I tell this guy..that I don't love him! Advice?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am madly in love with a man I'll call Mor. He doesn't know I do but he told me he loved me. We have an amazing bond, a complicated relationship. Now my friend Jay is madly in love with me and I hate myself for being too cowardly to ...
A. 18 November 2010: Talk to Jay, confront him about it and stop him from doing it. It is better he finds out this way then having to be rejected if/when he proposes to you. Sit him down and tell him that, though you care for him, it is not the kind of care that a ... (read in full...)
I've never had a proper father figure, in my life and it saddens me..what can I do?
Q. I grew up in on pretty much a single-parent household, my mum's been on benefits all her life. My dad has spent the majority of his life in jail, and he's been extremely violent and emotionally abusive to both me and my mum, but my mum has always ...
A. 18 November 2010: It is not childish to grow up without a father figure, but, in my honest opinion, you do not need it. What you DO need is to reconnect with your mother. I grew up without my father and I do not miss him, I do not regret growing up without him. He ... (read in full...)
I lied to him! How can I get over this?
Q. Im a 17 year old girl in Califronia.Last summer i went to an indain chatroom. I would chat for fun when i was bored, it was a way to get the stress out from school. I ended up talking to a guy, sent him fake pics like always (not that im ugly, but i ...
A. 18 November 2010: If you can contact him, I think you should tell him the truth and tell him why you did it. You are underage though and you have never met him so if you do manage to contact him and reveal the truth, nothing can ever really happen until you are ... (read in full...)
He knows just what to say to get me to stay!
Q. why do i allow this to happen?Me and my boyfriend were home cuddling on the couch watching tv all of a sudden he leaves and picks his uncle up. He brings him back to the house they drink beer and vodka. Then after a while his uncle whispers ...
A. 18 November 2010: You have the strength to leave him. Prove him wrong and leave him without a word. When he starts wondering where you went or why, he will remember and he will see how incredibly wrong he was. You know it is not impossible. You know you can do it and ... (read in full...)
Is it bad that 3 years later my feelings for him have changed?
Q. Well i was wondering if it was bad to not feel the same way about the person you are with after 3 years? i mean i love my boyfriend with everything i have but i don't think it's the same kind of love that i had when we were first together. We used ...
A. 18 November 2010: Talk to him about it calmly. All you want is for him to assure you that he still loves you so you can assure yourself. Talking always helps.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
He never lets me leave this relationship!
Q. so me and my boyfriend have been dating a little over a year.. we have had our problems where i want to break up its happened like three times were i get fed up and just want to leave him but he never lets me like he is like "you will never leave ...
A. 18 November 2010: He sounds dangerous, overstepping his boundaries. Be cautious, he is trying to strike fear into your heart, trying to make you afraid of leaving him. Leave him and get a restraining order.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
How do I tell my teacher I have depression?
Q. um...hi guys, i am 14, and lately ive been feeling really down. not just down, but extreamly sad. i cry all the time. i cry in class, i cry at home and i even cry my self to sleep. i was looking through this book one day, and i came across an artic...
A. 18 November 2010: Chigirl is right. When I was going through depression, I wrote to my teacher about it and he confronted me about it. It really helped a lot, your school will help you as best they can.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I love her a lot and want to get back with her. Please help!
Q. I was with this girl for 2 years and 4 months. We've had a good relationship and loved each other a lot. Everything was going fine and all of a sudden she stopped calling me as much and when i call she wouldn't talk the same and would hang up after ...
A. 17 November 2010: There is little you can do. This is a question of her feelings and you can do little to change them at this point. You can still let her know that you are still there for her and that you still love her, call from time to time to ask how she is but ... (read in full...)
I slipped a little and now my girl is with Mr. Loser
Q. Sorry for the long question, but this is one seriously messed up situation and I would really appreciate any and all answers I can get. I'm a 19 year old college freshman. I live in the dorms and the most beautiful girl in the world (who is th...
A. 17 November 2010: You could try and ask her if she would like to hang out with you and some of your friends. Then you can see just exactly how she feels about this.
If she does feel this way, you could try and talk to her again and I say this because, even though s... (read in full...)
Regretting marrying my wife as she isnt the woman I thought she was
Q. This is my situation... I am married and have a newborn child (4 months) but I can't stand the fact that my wife was what some might consider a "slut". She slept with 16 guys, slept with a married man regardless of her knowing that was his ...
A. 16 November 2010: Avoid it as much as you like but you are already being judgmental so do not deny it. Does she regret doing those things? Perhaps that is why she felt she needed to tell you and perhaps that is why she felt somewhat offended that you would suggest ... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself from falling out of love with my ex? I still want her to be my wife!
Q. My ex gf whipped me. She treated me like shit cheated lied you name it then threw me to the canibals. I went way down had to go on antidepressants. I used to breathe her 24 7 for months and months thinking maybe she would return. I want her to be my ...
A. 16 November 2010: You realize that marriage is supposed to last a life time and it will require your wholehearted commitment. Do not go through with this. Usually I support marriage but not like this. Not if she treats you this way and mutilates your sanity like ... (read in full...)
Baby daddy family drama
Q. Okay. My son's father, we will call him Cord, died in June of '09 he fell of a roof and broke his neck (he was drunk)and my bf, Michael and I have been together for two years almost. Anyway, Cord was never there for our son. When our son was hosp...
A. 16 November 2010: That is not fair. He cannot ask this of you but, I suppose I understand why he feels this way.
I think, if your son's grandmother wishes to be a part of her grandson's life, she will need to adapt to not being around the rest of her family a... (read in full...)
I gave my husband everything and now there is nothing left of me....
Q. Hi everyone! I'm 25yr I'm a housewife and mother of 3 (3yrs, 2yrs and a 6m)have been married for 3yrs but been together for 6yrs with my husband...our relationship has been going through rough roads for the pass years mainly coz I feel neglected ...
A. 16 November 2010: Is there anywhere you can go to be away from your husband? It sounds as though he has stopped caring about this marriage completely. Any family or friends that you and your children can stay with? If you do, you may be able to get a divorce.
I kno... (read in full...)
Women are like bug zappers and men are flies.
Q. So, just got out of a year long relationship a couple of months and I'm suddenly remembering how annoying trying to date. I approach the steps as well as can be. I meet new women all the time and it always ends up the same. We laugh together and ...
A. 16 November 2010: What about Women are the orchids and Men are the bees? Eventually you will find one that is welcoming to you or perhaps you need to search a different field. Your current analogy is somewhat inelegant and inaccurate. They do not intentionally 'zap' ... (read in full...)
At what age do guys hit puberty?
Q. whatage do guys usually start puberty ? use your own story if you have to . butt my boyfriend is a year younger than me . and I'm pretty sure he hasn't hit puberty . about what age will he , and will he want more sexually activity from me ? please ...
A. 16 November 2010: It varies. Some boys start puberty at a young age such as 11 or on rare occasions 7! The same goes for girls, they can hit puberty at any time. Some people may even go through it rather late, sometimes even after the age of 18. It varies but the ... (read in full...)
Feeling rather lonely.
Q. I just want to know if I'm always going to be single/lonely? Meaning will I ever find a boyfriend? I'm 19 and everybody tells me I'm pretty but if I was pretty wouldn't I have a boyfriend?? I had my first boyfriend when I was 17 and I regret the ...
A. 16 November 2010: I know it may feel that way. I think a lot of people may have had moments where they thought that surely, they would live a lonely life but that is not true. You will meet someone in time. Just be patient and keep friends around you, be happy and ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my ex I'm engaged without breaking his heart?
Q. My first boyfriend took my virginity and the next day I caught him having sex with another girl in his basement. He didn't even care and had the nerve to twist it like it was my fault. I ended up having to get counseling for a year and now that I am ...
A. 16 November 2010: Why should you worry about hurting him when he so willingly hurt you? He should have known that this situation was inevitable. Tell him you are engaged, he can either accept it and perhaps continue being friends (albeit probably distant ones) or he ... (read in full...)
Is my future ruined because I got a girl pregnant?
Q. Alright so I just turned 18 in september. My life is baseball, i've played it all my life and have potential scholarship opportunities. Anyway, this girl from my old school calls me up after her and her bf break up and wants to come over. Being the ...
A. 16 November 2010: Tell your parents and do not lose hope, there is still a way through this if you are willing. I am relieved that you chose to write this and not ask whether you should abandon her and the child. It helps to restore some of my faith in humanity which ... (read in full...)
Mixed feelings and don't know which way to turn
Q. Hi, I posted a few months ago about my boyfriend and things are no better really. We have been together for 14 months now. I am 38, divorced and he is 43, divorced. We are meant to be getting engaged at Christmas but I am having doubts. I have ver...
A. 15 November 2010: Just end it. From what you have said, there is no possible way on this humble Earth for you two to spend the rest of your life happily together. Read through what you have written, pretend it is from the perspective of a married woman, does that ... (read in full...)
Should I wait 2 year to go out with her?
Q. I met a fantastic woman while I was working part-time a few months ago and I have had a great time hanging out with her. Just 3 days ago, she called me, asked me out to dinner, and told me that she has feelings for me. I was speechless although i ...
A. 15 November 2010: Waiting is possibly going to be the best thing you have ever done for yourself. It will help to ensure everything about this situation from readiness to strength of emotion. It will allow you to grow more and then, when you are ready, you will know ... (read in full...)
How do I go back to monogamy after an open marriage?
Q. My husband and I have been married for two years and together for eleven. Last year, we began seriously discussing opening our marriage. We talked about it extensively and by January of this year, we felt like we had the ground rules and ...
A. 15 November 2010: The less you see, hear or think of H, the better. Focus on your marriage. Close those doors and start treating your marriage as you should have from the beginning. Marriage is sacred and should ALWAYS be treated as such. Cherish it. Start dating ... (read in full...)
My parents are threatening to disown me if I pursue this relationship
Q. Hello, I'm so glad I found this site. Thank you for your help! I am in love with a man who is divorced with three wonderful children. Also, I'm much younger than he is. I've known him for 6 years, we have been best friends for the past 3 years...
A. 15 November 2010: Be patient. Wait until you have finished college, wait until you are financially independant and then pursue this relationship. If you love him deeply it will not be easy but it will be worth it.
Keep hope though, if you can somehow save up whate... (read in full...)
He caught me in a lie, and he won't talk to me now! Can I fix this?
Q. After going through a tough break up a year ago, I connected with someone I met at college. We started talking and hanging out, and we became very close friends. A month ago, he decided that we needed to take a break. He told me that he didn't ...
A. 15 November 2010: Stop lying to him and give him time to forgive you. Although, in all honesty, I think he might be overreacting a little bit. After all, those were harmless lies were they not?
Try to persuade him that you are willing to change and be honest w... (read in full...)
Should I tell him my feelings and risk ruining a good thing? Or should I stick with "if you love someone let them go"?
Q. I have recentley reconnected with an old flame. The last time we saw each other we were intimate but I was in a relationship at the time, so we never kept in touch. It is now 10 years later and last week we disovered that we live down the road fr...
A. 15 November 2010: No doubt about it at all. If I found the right person, my plans would shift greatly to suit me and the right person.
I still think you should tell him even if you are unsure. It is always good to let someone know how you feel about them.
... (read in full...)
Didn't mean to fall out of love!
Q. Hi. Ive been with my bf for about 5 years now. He's the only bf ive ever had and i love him very much. We have been going through some bumps in the road for about 6 months now and although we both care and love each other very much, i'm beginning to ...
A. 15 November 2010: I do not usually suggest this but I think what you need here is a break. Spend some time a part from each other, take some time to yourself and figure things out. I am aware that he would probably think that suggesting a break would mean breaking up ... (read in full...)
I slipped a little and now my girl is with Mr. Loser
Q. Sorry for the long question, but this is one seriously messed up situation and I would really appreciate any and all answers I can get. I'm a 19 year old college freshman. I live in the dorms and the most beautiful girl in the world (who is th...
A. 15 November 2010: She gave all those other boyfriends second chances? Surely she must have realized how pointless those were if they resulted in more heartache for her anyway. She must have thought that you would turn out the same. Do not lose hope though, if you be ... (read in full...)
Why would a guy text a married woman at 3am?
Q. hi im a male 49 my wife is 46,we worked for the same company on a shut down for 6 weeks just 3 months ago.my wife was a saftey officer i was a wellder.are foreman was a 29 year old male.a little history i would go on the internet a couple of years ...
A. 14 November 2010: You do not seem at all concerned that your wife tried to kill herself? What have you done to make sure she is happy being with you since you found out? She needed someone who would talk to her about her problems and she found him, it is only natural ... (read in full...)
Is there ever a right time to tell someone that their partner is cheating?
Q. Dear Cupid What I want to know is where it would ever be right to tell someone that there partner is cheating on them. My situation is this: Four years ago I was drawn into an affair with a man I work with who was living with someone. He...
A. 14 November 2010: It would not be revenge at this point. Someone must tell her so can she move on from him and what he is doing to her behind her back. This is not revenge at all.
Tell her.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I slipped a little and now my girl is with Mr. Loser
Q. Sorry for the long question, but this is one seriously messed up situation and I would really appreciate any and all answers I can get. I'm a 19 year old college freshman. I live in the dorms and the most beautiful girl in the world (who is th...
A. 14 November 2010: Why does she not want to date you anymore? I imagine she must have shattered inside when you told her that everything was fake. I cannot even begin to understand why she decided to continue that "sort-of-relationship" with you anyway, she must have ... (read in full...)
Have I put him in a cage?
Q. My boyfriend and I had a rocky first year to our relationship where he screwed me over and lied about meeting up with his ex girlfriend. Since then he's worked so hard to regain my trust. However he's stopped seeing his female friends on a one to ...
A. 14 November 2010: He is choosing to do this, correct? You did not force him to. It is alright then if he is doing it, he cares about you a lot more than he cares about going out alone with one of his female friends. There is nothing so wrong about that because it is ... (read in full...)
I'm a Christian, he's a Muslim and I don't think this is going to work!
Q. Someone please help me! I've just found out that my Internet romance, who I have fancied for about 4 months now and think he's amazing, is a Muslim! I'm a strong Christian in a very strong Christian family. I don't know what to to I love him to b...
A. 14 November 2010: Just so everyone understands, I did not mean to offend anyone by what I said or what I will say, I am merely offering my perspective and my opinions on this matter.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I'm a Christian, he's a Muslim and I don't think this is going to work!
Q. Someone please help me! I've just found out that my Internet romance, who I have fancied for about 4 months now and think he's amazing, is a Muslim! I'm a strong Christian in a very strong Christian family. I don't know what to to I love him to b...
A. 14 November 2010: When a Christian prays to God and speaks of Jesus, does that Christian think that the Jews and the Muslims are sinfully parading around? No. The Jews and the Muslims too, show appreciation and respect for God and for Jesus and for all around them. ... (read in full...)
Baby daddy family drama
Q. Okay. My son's father, we will call him Cord, died in June of '09 he fell of a roof and broke his neck (he was drunk)and my bf, Michael and I have been together for two years almost. Anyway, Cord was never there for our son. When our son was hosp...
A. 14 November 2010: In essence, it is up to the boy and if your young son has grown accustomed to calling to calling Michael, his father, then I see no reason why Cord's family should interfere with that. They have no say in whether or not Michael shall ever be the ... (read in full...)
He says I'm "perfect". Should I be flattered or is it going too fast?
Q. I split from my boyfriend 8months ago due to cheating and lying. So ever since i've been pretty cautious with guys, as i dont want to go through that again. Two weeks ago I went to watch the rugby at a bar and when the match finished, a guy approach...
A. 14 November 2010: It depends on you? Are you comfortable with his hints? Perhaps he was seeking a relationship all along. He surely was not trying to offend you in anyway so all evidence points to him feeling that this may be the beginning of something worth while. ... (read in full...)
I'm a Christian, he's a Muslim and I don't think this is going to work!
Q. Someone please help me! I've just found out that my Internet romance, who I have fancied for about 4 months now and think he's amazing, is a Muslim! I'm a strong Christian in a very strong Christian family. I don't know what to to I love him to b...
A. 14 November 2010: No one has to completely give up anything but if they both love each other, they both must meet each other halfway. It is not impossible. I know of a couple just like this girl. It is not theory, but potent possibility. Yes I am aware of the ... (read in full...)
I'm a Christian, he's a Muslim and I don't think this is going to work!
Q. Someone please help me! I've just found out that my Internet romance, who I have fancied for about 4 months now and think he's amazing, is a Muslim! I'm a strong Christian in a very strong Christian family. I don't know what to to I love him to b...
A. 14 November 2010: If the love you feel is real, nothing should get in the way of you two being together. Both religions were born of peaceful teachings. Even Jesus himself accepted all no matter what race or creed. Somewhere in time, words were forged and forced into ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him my feelings and risk ruining a good thing? Or should I stick with "if you love someone let them go"?
Q. I have recentley reconnected with an old flame. The last time we saw each other we were intimate but I was in a relationship at the time, so we never kept in touch. It is now 10 years later and last week we disovered that we live down the road fr...
A. 12 November 2010: Tell him how you feel about him. You are not risking anything. This good thing does not have to be ruined, if he does not feel the same way, you can move on. If you love someone, you only let them go if they know how you feel but they do not feel ... (read in full...)
It is so close to our wedding but we both have doubts! What should I do?
Q. Hi, I was in love with a guy.We are in relationship since 2yrs now.We decided to get married.He used to do all lovely things to me.Very caring,Affectinate,Not at all aggressive and all.Everything was so smooth and going pretty well. Suddenly ...
A. 12 November 2010: Is it possible for you to postpone the wedding for now? Talk to each other about it. Does he still want her? Tell him that he should not marry you if he still wants her because you want him to love you because he wishes to, not because everyone ... (read in full...)
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