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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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Husband's not ready to have a baby but I am!
Q. I'm 29 years old, soon to be 30. Have a great husband (29), we've been married just over a year and together for 4. I have this burning desire to have a baby, have felt this way for about 6 months now but my husband says he's not ready and we both ...
A. 23 November 2010: Technically I do not think anyone is ever ready to have a child. But although Parenthood has its struggles and stressful situations, it remains a blessing. To hold a new born in your arms and hear its shrill laughter or cry, then to watch it grow. ... (read in full...)
Do I come clean about cheating?
Q. i've been going out with this guy for 2 years now, he's a great guy sweet and carring but our relationship became dull and we lost the spark...so i began talking to other ppl behind his back... it was innocent at first but it went too far...i ...
A. 23 November 2010: Honesty shall allow for a certain amount of trust to remain and that is better than nothing. Look into his eyes as you tell him so he knows that this is the truth and that you mean every word.
I doubt he will take it well at first. It would be... (read in full...)
For the guys, can men and women be "just friends"?
Q. Can men and women be "just friends"? Or are men only friends with women that they are attracted to or fine attractive? Speaking from a woman's perspective, I know we can have platonic friends. Let's hear it from the men. :)...
A. 23 November 2010: I have a lot of female friends and I do not actively pursue them for anything except friendship. In fact just last night, I did give one of them a gift for a spectacular show of friendship they displayed earlier this year.
They are all sexually... (read in full...)
Which one of us is being selfish?
Q. I initially agreed to go to a concert with this particular female, but recently changed those plans due to that fact that I decided to spend Thanksgiving in another state and see my kids that I have not seen in several years. Needless to sa...
A. 22 November 2010: Your children should come above all else and she should understand that. I think it was quite selfish of her to not consider your reasons.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Together 8 months and all we do is fight!
Q. Ok here is the thing. My name is Tommy I 25 my girlfriend maria is 23. We been together for almost 8 months. Things are almost perfect but latey all we do is fight. Please help me. I don't want to lose her....
A. 22 November 2010: Why do you fight? Most relationships that consist of constant conflict are usually broken when neither partner wishes to fix things. Take the initiative and talk about why you two fight so much. There is no doubt that such a conversation could lead ... (read in full...)
For men: Is it physical or personality?
Q. I have a question for men and women. What do men find sexy, or what attracts them to a woman? Is it mostly physical, is it personality, etc...? ...
A. 22 November 2010: Definitely personality for me. A woman could be attractive enough to be the world's hottest bikini model but if she has no brains, it is a complete turn off. I wish more young women knew how to be sexual whilst still maintaining a certain amount of ... (read in full...)
I stopped eating meat but now I'm eating too much sugar!
Q. Hi,umm I have started this new diet about not eating meat anymore because I've heard about what they do to the animals(I've heard about how the animals are kept under very poor conditions and they inject steroids into them and things like that and ...
A. 22 November 2010: There are certain substitutes for meat, and I do highly recommend pure wheatgrass shots if you can get any. Make sure you eat a lot of fruits to ensure your salts and sugars at kept at a healthy level. The best way to deal with sugar is to exercise ... (read in full...)
I want her to realize what she has done! What can I do?
Q. Hello everyone! My gf and I have been in a relationship for almost 2 yrs now. We're both 21 and love each other a lot and have a very good understanding and completely trust each other blindly. We have been having a long distance relation...
A. 22 November 2010: Call it whatever you like but in the end, you and I both know that what you want is vengeance. She already told you that she cannot look you in the eye anymore, she already told you that she feels stupid and that she regrets what she has done. What ... (read in full...)
I kissed a guy when I was drunk, told my boyfriend and now I don't know what to do!
Q. As background, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and were quite happy together. We were near engagement, so it's a very serious relationship. I went to a going away party this weekend and got blackout drunk at the end of the ...
A. 22 November 2010: You are making an effort to stop drinking so that is good and if I were in your boyfriend's position, I would see that as an effort, it is a good sign. In time I am sure he will forgive you.
As for that other man who started bragging to your boy... (read in full...)
He's the one I want to marry even though I am young
Q. I am sixteen years old, and I want to marry my boyfriend someday. I'm not sure why, and we are very young, but someday, I'd like to. I've been dating him a year, and he's been my best friend for three years. He is my best friend, and I am in love...
A. 21 November 2010: It is completely normal. It just means the love you feel is strong for him. If you can wait until you finish your studies, there is no reason why you two cannot get married. In fact, if your relationship lasts that long, that is even MORE reason to ... (read in full...)
How can I prove that I am not cheating on my husband?
Q. my husband is accusing me of cheating on him witch i haven't. any friend that comes over to our house or from work he always telling me that i cheating on him with our close friends. when i go to work i call him 2 to 3 time in an hour beside the ...
A. 21 November 2010: It sounds as though you have already done all you can do. It was a noble effort but he is stubborn. You have to begin wondering why you are with someone who is too willing to express distrust towards you. I expect there to be a certain stubbornness ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a boyfriend to want to wait to have sex?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for a year and i am 16 in the uk he is recently turned 24. i love him etc.I think that this bit is great i asked him if he was ready or if he wanted to have sex /do the deed what ever ..and he said that he didnt wa...
A. 21 November 2010: I do recall the laws stating that in the UK, whilst the age of consent is 16, it is still illegal to have sex with someone over the age of 18 with the exception of a 1 or 2 year age difference. I would review your country's laws just to be sure. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a boyfriend to want to wait to have sex?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for a year and i am 16 in the uk he is recently turned 24. i love him etc.I think that this bit is great i asked him if he was ready or if he wanted to have sex /do the deed what ever ..and he said that he didnt wa...
A. 21 November 2010: I think he may partly be worried about the legality of a sexual relationship with you. It is not completely unheard of for someone to wait for sex, it is the wiser choice, there are more men willing to make that choice than you think.
I hope tha... (read in full...)
Should I try to become "the 1950's" model wife?
Q. My question is should I try and change myself to try to be perfect all the time and basically be the 1950's wife (I have accepted the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids, but I dont agree with the "Dont speak unless spoken to")? My husband ...
A. 21 November 2010: A 1950s model wife? Whilst all the men were away fighting yet again in another nearly pointless war, it was the women who cared for their country and kept their cities growing and building and living. When finally a woman by the name of Betty ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my future husband about the past sexual abuse?
Q. I was sexually abused over a period of four years, I was eight years old when this took place. I lost my Mother at the age of twelve. After my Mother's death my Father used to suggest that I invite a group of girlfriends over for the weekend,...
A. 21 November 2010: No one knows if things would have turned out differently. You and your sister were misguided. Admittedly, a lot of men are only after sex but, those are the ones you should NOT keep.
Deny them of sex until you find a good man who loves you and ... (read in full...)
Can you find true love in your mistress? should I leave my wife and marry her?
Q. i have been dating my mistress for 3 years. we decided that its time to take the next step. i am in the middle of a project abroad that will be completed in march 2011. i decided to file for a divorce then. in three years we have seen good times an...
A. 20 November 2010: You should have divorced your wife the moment you felt your love shift from that of a husband to that of a dear acquaintance. You have been deceiving her.
What exactly do you expect to happen in the outcome of this ordeal? Do you think your chi... (read in full...)
Will I get bored with just one man?
Q. I have a rather complicated question, to be honest I think I am looking for reassurance rather then an answer. I have struggled for a few years with my mental health due to this I decided not to interact romantically with men,I knew that I was ...
A. 20 November 2010: Whoever told you such an ostentatious lie should be ignored! They are trying to encourage a sort of indifference to a divine emotion and action such as love in a committed relationship is evil! You were and still are very, very right indeed. Your ... (read in full...)
How do I meet women with moral fiber?
Q. I'm not a bad looking guy; I'm just angry all the time. Nobody really knows that I'm angry. It's not like I walk around growling, breaking things and shaking my fist at little kids. The problem is that when it comes time to be happy or talk to ...
A. 20 November 2010: I am absolutely astonished to read about you. Believe it or not, you are uncannily similar to what I used to be but, I am trying to change.
Scratch the surface of an oblivious facade of a persona and you will find that the spirit undernea... (read in full...)
Why am I alone? What did I do to deserve this?
Q. I am married but had since move out on my own. I couldn't accepted the fact that my husband has been unfaithful to me in less than a year of our marriage. I have been asking myself am i the cause of a failed marriage?? Why can't i be like normal ...
A. 20 November 2010: Whatever you are feeling, try to overcome it. Do not listen to it. You are not alone in this.
The most loving wives, the most adoring and caring, the most gorgeous or talented, no matter how much they give, their husbands may take them for gran... (read in full...)
Why didn't he fight for me instead of giving up?
Q. ok,I'm 14 years old and I've never had a boyfriend so I dont know how those things work.We move a lot so I go to this new school now and there is a new guy in our grade hes from Russia(his name is Armen he came one day before i did)and I really like ...
A. 20 November 2010: Tell Armen how you feel and maybe he will put up more of a fight if that other boy should ever threaten him again. He said that you are free and you ARE free, it is YOUR choice to make so do not let that 10th grade boy choose for you. He is ... (read in full...)
Sex used to be a pleasure now it's just a chore!
Q. so i have been dating my ex foe about 7 months, hes 31 and im 29 and just recently broke up(at his request) mainly because i dould not give him "head" everyday or whenever he wanted it, or out in public, in the parking lot of the mall, la fitnes ...
A. 20 November 2010: You do not need to feel bad at all! He is a hypocritical excuse for a pathetic lover. He was trying to control you, he was trying to make you do things you were not comfortable with. In essence, he was being selfish physically and emotionally. Why ... (read in full...)
I need to chose between three girls .. two of them are already taken!
Q. i'm stuck between picking three girls. two are in a relation ship. one i've known for seven years. the others i've known for a few weeks. the one i've known for seven years is in a relationship. one of the two i've known for a few weeks i comunicate ...
A. 20 November 2010: Do not enter a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. Enter a relationship with your heart and soul. Choose none.
Even if you COULD choose any, why would you ever consider pursuing someone who is in a relationship? Why would yo... (read in full...)
An unexpected invitation has my boyfriend fuming!
Q. Last night I got a txt msg from my supervisor asking me out on a date. My boyfriend who I live with was right beside me and saw the message. This question from my supervisor came out of the blue. I've worked with my supervisor for 8 yrs and have ...
A. 20 November 2010: You could try to have a friend persuade him that he/she has never seen you flirting with your supervisor, you could show him how little evidence there is to show that anything was going on between your supervisor and you. I suspect he will try to ... (read in full...)
I wanna buy some romantic or dramatic novels any suggestions please?
Q. I wanna buy some romantic or dramatic novels any suggestions please? (important)...
A. 20 November 2010: 'Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress' by Dai Sijie (There are English copies though)... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't let me finish in her mouth!
Q. My girlfriend won't let me finish in her mouth. She is grossed out by semen. How do I get her to open up to the idea. She also does not want to experiment with taking it up the butt even though she did it with someone else previously. Is it disre...
A. 20 November 2010: Yes, it is disrespectful. If she has done it before, the only reason why she would not do it again is because she did not like it so you cannot force that upon her.
She is clearly not comfortable with letting you finish in her mouth so do not forc... (read in full...)
Choices!
Q. so me and this guy was dating for almost 2 years and i really fell for him but things just started going bad about 4 months ago. we broke up and i had sex with a guy i like also and felt sort of bad about it. well my ex started talking to another ...
A. 20 November 2010: Is it your ex that started rumors? If that is true, I would advise against getting back together with him unless he comes clean and admits that he started the rumor and that there is no truth to them (if there really isn't). If he wishes to be with ... (read in full...)
Help!!! Will she come back?
Q. My ex and I have been broken up for about 10 weeks now and the entire ordeal has been rough for me, especially when I found out that she's been dating somebody new right when our relationship ended. I've done everything that I can think of to move ...
A. 20 November 2010: That all really depends on why you broke up in the first place. If it was because of constant conflict, I do not think getting back together is such a good idea unless you are confident that the same arguments will not happen again, but even then, ... (read in full...)
Should I let the cat out of the bag?
Q. Hi, I've got a weird and very personal question. I have a secret I probably should have told my boyfriend awhile ago but I was to scared to and it still scares me, so, given the change in circumstances, should I tell him? It's really a long story, ...
A. 19 November 2010: Well what do you think you should do? If you tell him, it would raise his awareness and he will know how to touch you and how not to touch you. Although, he could also be overwhelmed with such information, he may not know how exactly to handle it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend could be really ill, what are the chances I will lose the love of my life?
Q. Dear Cupid, im 16 yrs old and i have a bf who i've known for years but has been with him for only 2 months. Im HONESTLY so in love with him. I dont know what i would do without him. He told me this story that when he was born, he was born with an ...
A. 19 November 2010: Rest assured that you will not lose him any time soon. He still has a significantly great chance of living to a ripe old age. You can help him, make sure he is living healthily. I say that to you and the previous poster. No ailment can steal hope ... (read in full...)
We have totally different views on lying, who is right?
Q. How do I deal with this??? Me and my girlfriend are in mad love, and could probably make it if there weren't these issues. One is that we both have very different views on lying. I view lying as not very glamorous but a part of life, it...
A. 19 November 2010: Neither of you are wrong but neither of you are right either. I believe that she has a right to get suspicious after you kept something like that from her, it is makes the situation appear as though there is more too it so, her reaction is ... (read in full...)
Met first love during exchange overseas, how can we get over each other?
Q. I met my ex-bf during exchange in Europe, we were each others' first serious love. The time when we were together was amazing. But since we are from countries that are half the globe apart, we had no choice but to break up after our exchange. It's...
A. 19 November 2010: You can always start a Long Distance Relationship and meeting each other will be something to look forward too instead of something to fear due to a heartbreaking goodbye. Then after a couple of years, if your love is true and strong, you can be ... (read in full...)
I'm involved with a woman whose husband is abusive, what do I do?
Q. Where do I start. I am a 49 year old widower who is involved with a lovely woman who is in an abusive relationship which is beginning to turn into a nightmare for her. Unfortunately there are children involved, my son is 28, a doctor and lives...
A. 19 November 2010: You have to help her leave him, if she is in the process of divorcing him, she can find another place to stay. She has to try and take the children away with her because clearly, this is not the type of man capable of being a father, let alone a ... (read in full...)
He is really sweet but cant say he loves me!
Q. I'm not sure what my question really is... but im with a guy who is sweet and caring and affectionate, but he can't say he loves me. And every month it gets harder for me to accept the indifference, i try to stay positive and just think 'be happy ...
A. 19 November 2010: Who says he is hiding it? He may be genuinely unsure about whether or not he loves you and that is not so odd. He wants to be sure about what he is feeling and in this day and age when everyone keeps expressing how fundamentally confusing the actual ... (read in full...)
My self esteem is at an all time low
Q. Dear Cupid, Okay well to start I have a terrible self esteem. Im about average look and Im only alittle over weight. My self esteem is so bad that when I meet someone that it dosent even cross my mind to flirt. She could get better is the o...
A. 19 November 2010: Just to clarify: When I said "Strive for the best and accept nothing less" I realize that it may have come across as being slightly vain and arrogant, what I meant was never accept anything less from yourself. Do what makes you feel good, change ... (read in full...)
My self esteem is at an all time low
Q. Dear Cupid, Okay well to start I have a terrible self esteem. Im about average look and Im only alittle over weight. My self esteem is so bad that when I meet someone that it dosent even cross my mind to flirt. She could get better is the o...
A. 19 November 2010: Stop assuming what people think. Accept that sometimes when people say things it is not purely because they wish to aimlessly raise your hopes. Even if they do, know that it is out of care and that means you probably do deserve a great girl.
When ... (read in full...)
Would it be possible for us to keep the baby at our age?
Q. My best friend and I were in his room messing around and we ended up "doing it", this was both of our first times and I didn't really want to but we did. Really stupid of me!!He didn't think that I'd get pregnant cuz I was on birth control but I ...
A. 19 November 2010: It is in your best interests to give the baby up for adoption at this point. You are only 13, he is only 16, you are both still crawling through the mood fluctuations and hormonal confusion your body throws at you almost every day or month. You are ... (read in full...)
I don't know how I can get married in the next month?
Q. My fiance contact his ex wife to say goodbye yesterday after they separated 5 months ago.I don't know how I can get married in next month? Please help me. My husband contacted his ex wife recently to say that forgive me for all things that happ...
A. 19 November 2010: He may have contacted his ex out of an obscure need to start fresh and with a clear conscience. It may have gotten out of hand. No it is not 'simply natural' for someone to feel jealousy when they see an ex has moved on, it means that there is a ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm wreaking everyone's lives!
Q. i left my wife 2 yrs ago after a long marriage that went wrong and met up with a girl i had gone out with 18 yrs earlier , she is a lovely girl but took alot of flac from my mood swings after me trying to get over the marriage. She then caught me ...
A. 18 November 2010: Let go of this other girl. The one you cheated with. Let her go and let your partner make her decision. If you break it off with the other girl, your partner will see that you are actually willing to change.
I suppose you could ask yourself... (read in full...)
I cheated, confessed, my wife forgave me but I feel horrible!
Q. So this is my situation: recently I cheated on my wife...mostly emottional but it did almost go to the point fo having sex. I almost began the "act" with my lover but deep down I felt horrible and stopped. I just walked away and never looked bac...
A. 18 November 2010: Absolutely amazing. NEVER take this woman for granted, ALWAYS cherish her every smile towards you.
To ease your guilt, you need to see that she is truly happy. Make it a priority to make her smile everyday. If there is something she has always w... (read in full...)
At what time in a relationship do guys expect these things?
Q. in the beginning of a relationship, i know people say go at a pace your comfortable but im just wanting to know the average amount of time before/ maximum amount of time guys expect 1. girls take their tops off while making out 2. hand jobs 3. bl...
A. 18 November 2010: Sex can wait, a long, long time in my opinion. A couple of months into the relationship should focus on romance and truly getting to know one another or getting comfortable with the relationship. I suppose the most I would wait is about a year or ... (read in full...)
Can he take me to court or stop me from leaving the country? Or is he just pissed?
Q. okay my ex and are not talking and yesterday i sent him a text saying 'i know that car was your gf's she told me (bluff). how could you leave me in a hosiptal all alone crying my eyes out and thinking my baby was going to die, while you were ...
A. 18 November 2010: Take you to court for what? Did you take any action or threaten him in any way? If not, he has nothing...
Leave the country as you please, birth this child and raise it well. You are free to leave him and there is no reason why you shouldn'... (read in full...)
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