A
female
age
51-59,
*AGGIE2010
writes:Ok guys this is a question that is not about love or sex this is a very hard tough love question. My son and his wife split up and i let him move in with me. I am single and have new house and car and bills. He knows i make good money. He has no job he lost it on the oil pipe lines,he has no family he lost it also,he has my two pride and joy grandsons, i felt sorry for him and let him move here till he got on his feet. Now the thing is i learned today that he has been using my debt card and charging to play a game on the internet.When i noticed 2 days ago i told him he had better hope it wasnt him or he would find another place to live.Well today with him waiting in the car i went to the bank and found he charged up $900.00 in charges,the good thing is they can reverse them but the bad is i told him to get out.He got mad and took off walking with a bag.I told him i would take him somewhere and he said no.Now what do i do. let him go to learn or stop him. This is not the first time he has done this.I thought when he had his own family he would stop. Do i worry about him or let him go he is 24 years old. Help Me...
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debt, money, split up, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 November 2010):
 I'm sorry but I doubt he's telling the truth, packing up and going to Mexico, hitchhiking..sounds really far fetched. He's just trying to make you feel guilty. Don't fall for it, he's already taken advantage of you enough. Let him go out into the real world and be an adult..you can't always shield him, even though it's your motherly nature.
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Sounds like you have always been there for him? And if so, then he knows that you will always be there for him and he is expecting you to take care of him. Nine hundred dollars? I would have told him to leave as well. It's time to grow up and be a man and a father and bring home some bacon. As soon as he knows you aren't going to support him the way you did when he was younger, then he should jump right back up onto his own two feet.
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A
female
reader, MAGGIE2010 +, writes (11 November 2010):
MAGGIE2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank all of you Raphael and Xanthic you both have caring points.All I want is for him to be an adult and have a good life.I havent gone looking for him but i have many many state trooper friends that i sent out to see if they could find him and they had no luck.He text me and said he was hungry and he has no money.told him i would come get him and he could come back but he had to grow up.He said it was to late that he was going to Texas maybe even Mexico to start a new life that his life means nothing now that he has lost everything.I called his best friend he has been looking for him with no luck. Then he text me and said he was gone that a truck driver had done picked him up.Now if something happens to him and i have to go identify his body how will that make me feel.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 November 2010):
Let him go he's an adult and a parent perfectly capable of making his own mistakes..Now he can hopefully learn from them.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (11 November 2010):
He man enough to have children but not man enough to earn money to take care of them. That is not a man, it is a little boy. Stop enabling this petulant child and make him be man for the first time in his life.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (11 November 2010):
 He's 24, not 12. You need to set boundaries and take a definite stance on this situation, because he clearly thinks nothing of taking advantage of you. Keep all cards and money in a safe place he can't access. You can offer to let him stay with you, but only if he contributes to the living expenses. It'll be the incentive he needs to find a job.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 You are his mother, either way you will worry, that is probably a part of the reason you have posted here anyway.
You were tough but it was necessary. He should not have taken advantage of your kindness and with children I would have thought he would have larger concerns than mere video games. Let him go but let him know that you will be there if he decides he is ready to begin trying to get his life together instead of using you as a comfort with not intention of finding a job, finding another place to live and finding the means to take care of his children.
I hope that helps.
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