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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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Should I Move On?
Q. i'm in love with this guy i've know since i was 15, we started dating in September and after a month, he broke up with me because he still had some feelings for his ex who he left 2 months before our relationship because his ex was sleeping with a ...
A. 5 November 2010: Usually I would suggest moving on but then a thought occured. Why rush something like this? You have known him since you were fifteen and only recently have you started dating. Moving on so quickly may cause unecessary tension between the two of ... (read in full...)
He has different fantasy's and I have always been one to help those turn into reality. Let me say he is FREAKY!!!!
Q. Ok, here goes. It might be a log one, bear with me it's the first time that I have ever said the whole story. I'm a married 29 year old mother of 3. My husband of 7 years, has always had an erection issues. I thought it was me, but I figured ou...
A. 5 November 2010: I see the problems in your marriage. Everything seems to have its own conditions. Conditions for sex, conditions to love and stay together. Love, real love should be completely unconditional. What makes matters worse is the fact that your husband ... (read in full...)
He has the final say about everything in our marriage, and I cant even get him to talk about our problems!
Q. i have been married to my husband for 27 years. ever since we married he has the say in our marraige, i was married for ten years before we had our son he never helps me around the house he works hard and is a good provider. we have not had a ...
A. 4 November 2010: He is rude and inconsiderate. You have a right to leave him if he does not start treating you like his wife instead of his slave. Tell him that.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my skin color and what guys will think
Q. This is a strange question but please take it seriously and not be too patronising because it is a genuine concern of mine. I have only ever been with one guy and we split up a while ago. I have since met another guy who is nice and I feel I may...
A. 4 November 2010: First of all, white people do not generally have flawless skin. I doubt anyone truly has flawless skin. Personally I think your doubts and fears are quite irrational. I am of brown skin and I have never encountered anyone who finds a distaste in it. ... (read in full...)
Why do these thoughts pop in my head about my girlfriend getting hurt?
Q. this is more of a pshycology question, why do random thoughts pop into my head??? and why can't I control my own mind?? some thoughts pop into my head, and they're thoughts I'd never think of otherwise, because one is of my amazing girlfriend ...
A. 4 November 2010: First answer a few questions. What does it feel like exactly? Is it a desire to hurt her or protect her from pain? Perhaps those thoughts are associated with a desire you have to protect her from such harm? But you need to describe exactly what ... (read in full...)
Is wrong to have a boyfriend but to practice sex with a friend to get ready for boyfriend?
Q. I have a boyfriend now but one of my guy friends wants to be friends with benefits. I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend but is it wrong to have a friend with benefits to practice for my boyfriend?...
A. 4 November 2010: There are a number of things wrong here. First of all, you are underaged and I highly doubt anyone that age is ready for something as emotionally and physically monumental as sex. Sexual relationships are hard enough to manage as it is with mature ... (read in full...)
I need some input on my thinking and maybe a little advice on how I should keep my mind sane!
Q. About 3 months ago, I recently got together with a friend of mine whom I've known for 2 years in university. We were really good friends and I had no motives back then but but something changed and we ended up getting emotionally and physically ...
A. 4 November 2010: You cannot do anything, this is her problem to deal with, alone. You can only wait.
I am sorry this is causing you so much pain. Perhaps there is something else you could try. Talk to her and make her realize that she does hate him for a reason. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's mom doesn't like me and doesn't want her grandchildren to look like me
Q. Well as many of you know(from my previous questions)I am in love with my gf we have been through many problem but always solved them now my gf isn't particularly in a good relationship with her mom. My gf is 18 and wants to move out and its ...
A. 4 November 2010: It does not matter what your girlfriend's mother thinks. You love each other and your girlfriend's mother is just giong to have to learn to accept it and stop lying to herself. Her delusions of you are being created because she wants to believe that ... (read in full...)
What are the rules when taking a relationship break and for how long?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are taking a break. We've been together for 9 months but lately I was getting mad to often because I didn't understand why he was acting the way he was. Although I wasn't screaming at him, I was only talking to him about it....
A. 4 November 2010: You do what you feel you should do. Who knows how long it will take? You will be on a break until he feels confident enough in what he wants from this.
Answer his calls if you want, tell him how you are, ask him how he is and tell him that you... (read in full...)
Why do women complain about porn?
Q. Okay...So i just have a question in general. Why do women complain about they're Love watching porn or anything else for that matter to porn? It's like such a big deal, oh no. But theres so many women out there who do it themselves. I...
A. 4 November 2010: A man would not openly tell someone they love that they are uncomfortable with porn (most of the men I know). There are a few people who are comfortable with letting all others know that they are uncomfortable with porn.
In school, there was a gr... (read in full...)
Is he missing something in his marriage or just bored?
Q. Why would a married man seek attention outside of his home. He has beautiful children, gorgeous wife and great career. However i believe he is trying to pursue a relationship with me by calling me and texting men all of the time. He does not live ...
A. 4 November 2010: Any problem he may be having in his marriage can be worked out peacefully in a mature manner. No I doubt there is a problem with his marriage. He could have the best family in the world with the most loving and devoted wife and he still would not be ... (read in full...)
How can I improve my social skills with women?
Q. can anyone help? , I noticed that a lot of you girls have been chatted up in some random places e.g. cafe, the gym, at the supermarket. It is my biggest wish to be able to chat a girl up in that way as my circle of friends don’t know many women, ...
A. 4 November 2010: Generally, by talking to that type of woman, she would have already guessed your intentions already.
It is not a bad thing, you are merely trying to be friendly but there are certain things to remember. First of all, be confident and make your int... (read in full...)
Should I be worried he thinks another girl is fit or is he just being a boy?
Q. I read a text on my bfs phone [I know I shouldn't have] and it was talking with his male friend from college about this fit girl from their college [I go to a different college to him] and my bf was agreeing she was fit etc. Should I be worried or ...
A. 3 November 2010: He merely agreed that she was fit, that does not mean he thinks anything of it. A fit girl is a fit girl, that does not mean he is attracted to her. It is truly nothing to worry about. Do you not trust him?
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
How do I tell my family and girlfriend that I am a crossdresser?
Q. hi, i am a 22yrs male to female crossdresser from mumbai, india. i have always desired to be a wife . . i cook, dress,behave as girl.i wear saree, blouse, bindi, chudi makeup , wigs, salwar kameez, ghagra choli, earings, tops and skirt.how should i ...
A. 3 November 2010: Sit them down and calmly tell them. They will no doubt be shocked at first and they might even try to argue that it is wrong for you to be this way but assure them that this is who you are and you cannot get rid of it so easily because this is who ... (read in full...)
Stories on moving away from home?
Q. Hi,my names Heart and I have a question about moving away from home,I'm 17 at the moment and my goal is to move to brisbane in july next year,thats 2 hours plane flight from my home town.At the moment I live with my parents,always have.My town is ...
A. 3 November 2010: My sister went through that kind of thing. She had to move away to the UK for uni while we were struggling financially.
She says that it may be overwhelming but, then again, any change is always going to be overwhelming at first. It will be easie... (read in full...)
For the Men: Would you, in time, ever leave your partner for the other woman?
Q. A question for all the men out there. If a man in a relationship (no married/no children) likes/loves another woman but tells her, after the first kiss, about his relationship and that he 'cannot leave her' (meaning, the official partner), is there ...
A. 3 November 2010: You speak as though he is imprisoned within his current relationship. Does he still love his actual girlfriend? How can you be sure that he does indeed LOVE you? Is there truly a strong bond between you or is it merely a fantasy. Usually, a man ... (read in full...)
I want to see my sister smile again
Q. My sister is 13 and is in love with the most idiotic popular bitch in her school. (I know this because I sometimes walk with my sister to her school and we always run into the popular girl.)My sister tells me all about her too. My sister has has ...
A. 3 November 2010: Give it time. People change and so shall your sister's feelings. Just be there to comfort her when she cries and keep making sure that she is not harming herself because of this girl. But let her feel what she needs to feel. That is all you can ... (read in full...)
Why do women complain about porn?
Q. Okay...So i just have a question in general. Why do women complain about they're Love watching porn or anything else for that matter to porn? It's like such a big deal, oh no. But theres so many women out there who do it themselves. I...
A. 3 November 2010: Before making judgements, sit down and quietly try to understand it. Let us see this from the perspective of a woman who despises her lover watcing porn.
Why does anyone want a committment? A woman loves a man because he is special to her, he ... (read in full...)
8 chances! Why can't she see what everyone else sees?
Q. how can I help my little sister see that 8 is more then enough chances for a guy? her and her boyfriend fight constantly and have broken up several times! we both believe in second chances, but she needs to see that he's not going to magically ...
A. 3 November 2010: She cannot see because she chooses not to see. I am certain that inside she sees it and she knows that this relationships is nearly doomed to endless argument and heartbreak. She also sees that there is a glimmer of hope because she knows that there ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant from giving head and then he fingers me?
Q. okay so im 17 and me and my boyfriend have been dating for 11 months. and i give him "head" but im not on birth control. and then he usually fingers me.. can i get pregnant? ...
A. 3 November 2010: Unless his semen actually get inside your vagina, there is no way you can get pregnant from ingesting anything.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Why are People so angry ?
Q. I was watching the Today Show this morning and they were talking about manner how we don't seem to show good manners anymore and how people are angry; when I was watching this piece it's so right we are angry at politics and the struggle of our ...
A. 3 November 2010: It is not merely your country, it is the whole world. There is anger everywhere and this world shall never truly be rid of it. We feel anger when we lose something or someone we love, we feel it when someone says something unkind or if anyone acts a ... (read in full...)
How do we fix this without breaking up?
Q. I need help, a lot of help. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 5 months. It has been all lovey dovey, but recently we have been arguing a lot more. I hate it. I don't know why we argue so much, I don't really even know what we argue ...
A. 3 November 2010: You are right of course, love does not, nor should it have an age. You are wrong in assuming that younger people would not know what love is, no one knows what love is, they can only feel it and decide whether it is strong or not. If what you feel ... (read in full...)
Things went too far with friend and now I don't know how to talk to her
Q. The other night I was out with some friends shopping and I ran into my best friend from elementary school, mom. We hadn't seen each other in about 8 yrs or so. She gave me her number and told me to text her sometime and I did cause I was bore...
A. 3 November 2010: Well it all depends on whether or not you enjoyed what happened? Do you regret it?
Either way, it is necessary to have a discussion about what happened to avoid possible awkwardness that may follow. Who knows? There could in fact be somethin... (read in full...)
How do I stop the drifting apart relationship between my father and I?
Q. I am 18 and for the past year or so, I feel as if I am drifting from my dad and attempting to reconcile the relationship is becoming difficult. My dad left when I was only a few years old due to having an affair with my now step mother. 5 years ...
A. 3 November 2010: You call him and tell him that you urgently need to talk to him. For whatever amount of time you have to meet him, make it a priority to get this off your chest. You are drifting a part and it is HIS responsibility to meet you halfway on this. He ... (read in full...)
I really need some advice and my heart aches every day and the desire of just to be with her is so overwhelming.
Q. Help please, I have a real big problem, I am in love with my first cousin. I am 25 and she is 29. I have always been really close to her, and have always though of her as a great friend, well my best friend. I recently separated from my wife and...
A. 3 November 2010: You know this is wrong and thinking about it is merely going to support those emotions you THINK you have. The truth is that you have thought about her in a romantic way before, even when you knew doing so is wrong, spiritually, emotionally, ... (read in full...)
After 10 years, how do I get him to open up to me?
Q. I have a boyfriend we've been together off and on for 10 years but I feel like he has a double life or that he won't let me still into his life..how do I get him to open up to me?...
A. 3 November 2010: Have you talked to him about it? Does he know that you feel as though he is somehow obscured in this relationship?
Talk to him and tell him that you want to be open with each other and assure him that he can tell you anything.
I hope that h... (read in full...)
I feel only pain, no pleasure during sex
Q. Ok . . so In june 31 2010 i got raped ; and i got checked and everything and now im fine . Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 months and i Had sex with him on Friday 10/29 , and today again 11/2 and it hurts , it doesnt feel good at all . ...
A. 3 November 2010: You need to give yourself time. Stop having sex for now. It is good that your boyfriend is showing concern where most men would selfishly carry on for their own personal pleasure. But you need to cease all sexual activity until you are ready and, by ... (read in full...)
Do I tell her that I know about her cheating, and that I'm OK with it?
Q. I have a strange situation that i can't talk to anybody about and I dont know what to do. I have been married for a few years now, to a gorgeous woman. I however, am not the best looking man in the world. I have always been self concious about m...
A. 3 November 2010: Is that really fair to you? She continuously lies to you, she betrayed you, she took your love for granted. She does not love you at all. Why remain with her simply because your are aroused by her sexual affairs? There is nothing to be found in this ... (read in full...)
How to deal with my mother's prejudice against interracial partnership?
Q. Dear Cupid, Im 18 years old and a British-born Indian and hes 20 years old and a British-born Jamaican. We've been casually dating for a little over a month and things are starting to get a little serious as time goes on. The question is, how...
A. 3 November 2010: You do not have to deal with your mother's prejudice. He is dating YOU, not your mother. As long as you do not mind, what power does your mother have over your heart and your relationships? Is she going to try and force those emotions out of you?
... (read in full...)
Should I take a minute of joy, for an hour of heartache?
Q. I'm falling love with a woman that's not going to near me in a few months. I can't stop myself from having feelings for her. When she's asleep in my arms my world is her. When she's not near, all I think about is her, everything else has the volume ...
A. 3 November 2010: Inside, you do not wish to cut off all contact and doing so would simply kill you faster would it not? Just enjoy every day you have with her and just tell her how much it would hurt you to not have her near.
Would she not consider staying ... (read in full...)
Seriously... what's going on here???
Q. Seriously I might as well just give vital points: -been seeing each other over a year -get along VERY well -when we're together, he treats me as if im the only one that matters -waited a while before having sex -met his brothers, have yet ...
A. 2 November 2010: Such painful heartbreaks can strike fear into one's soul. That could very well be the cause for his behavior. Perhaps he is afraid that history will repeat itself. Everyone is afraid of getting hurt, show him that his fears should not matter because ... (read in full...)
I'm pretty sure I love this girl but I don't know if she feels the same about me.
Q. I know how common this question is. I met this girl about 4-5 months ago and I can’t stop thinking about her and I really do feel like I love her but I’m pretty sure she only thinks of me as a friend and its driving me crazy. Every day we talk in ...
A. 2 November 2010: You needn't fear rejection. If she says she does not feel the same way, there is no reason why you two cannot carry on being the best of friends. Be casual if she does not reciprocate those feelings, pretend it never happened.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Unappreciated!
Q. my boyfriend and i been dating for a year and 6 month. we always get in argument when he goes out to hang out with his friends because first of all his friends are all single and they talk about getting with girls all the time. btw we are in a long ...
A. 2 November 2010: Of course you are hurt. You dressed up to be with him and he gives you nothing in return, in fact, he cursed at you and criticized you for doing nothing but trying your best to be with him. This is not how a loving relationship should be.
I agr... (read in full...)
I like this girl A LOT... but I'm also female!
Q. I think about this girl a lot. i like her actually. thing is im a girl. what do i do? i like guys too. ive even dated two guys but now i feel like i like this girl more. help....
A. 2 November 2010: How can you know for sure that she does not feel the same way unless you tell her? What does it matter what gender you are? You feel what you feel and love is and always will be love no matter what gender, race or age. Tell her and see what ... (read in full...)
I'm pretty sure I love this girl but I don't know if she feels the same about me.
Q. I know how common this question is. I met this girl about 4-5 months ago and I can’t stop thinking about her and I really do feel like I love her but I’m pretty sure she only thinks of me as a friend and its driving me crazy. Every day we talk in ...
A. 2 November 2010: I am sure this is simple. If you cannot tell her, write to her. A handwritten letter is more personal and if you hand it to her, no one else has to know if she does not feel the same way.
I know it may seem as though she does not feel the same way... (read in full...)
Why is true love so hard to find...?
Q. Why is true love so hard to find?...
A. 2 November 2010: Is it hard to find or have you been searching in all the wrong places? Love is out there for all to find, you simply need to look in the right places.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Ever since he got a girlfriend he acts like he doesn't want to be my friend any more...
Q. Okay, My guy friend and me have been great friends since 7th grade, we're in 9th grade now. Well, just this past summer I got his number and we started texting. Not during the day, like I'd text him at 2 am or some stuff like that. We'd text alot, ...
A. 2 November 2010: Talk to him about it. Is it possible he has stronger feelings towards you? Perhaps that is why he feels he can look at you and smile at you and talk to you when his girlfriend is not around. If that is the case, depending on how you feel about him, ... (read in full...)
Seriously... what's going on here???
Q. Seriously I might as well just give vital points: -been seeing each other over a year -get along VERY well -when we're together, he treats me as if im the only one that matters -waited a while before having sex -met his brothers, have yet ...
A. 2 November 2010: If you let him know how you feel, it could change whatever he is going through right now. For example, if he is doubting his feelings for you, revealing your true feelings for him could shift his heart until it is confident about how it feels about ... (read in full...)
My loner personality is pushing away the girl I like.
Q. Ok, so my problem is that I think I like this girl but my loner personality is making me feel like I`m pushing her away. She goes to the same school as me but is in the grade above me. We have some classes that are the same becasue the school is ...
A. 2 November 2010: I used to be just like you. There was girl I feel deeply for, so much so that over time, the combination of anger, sadness and the throbbing heartache caused me to become quite obsessed. The truth is, I never truly got a chance to get to know her ... (read in full...)
Should I keep trying to make it work?
Q. So I've been with my husband for 8 years and married for 2 we've just had a beautiful baby girl but things not been good for a while even before we had her. I lost my Dad when i was 6 months pregnant and he was my hero, i did everything in my power ...
A. 2 November 2010: You should not have to take him back for the baby's sake. It sounds as though your young child is better off without him and so are you. It is not impossible to be a single mother. It may be difficult at times but in the end I think it is better ... (read in full...)
How should I go about resisting my new step sister?
Q. How should I go about resisting my new step sister? My dad recently remarried and he and his new younger wife are building a new home, so they are staying in my guesthouse for privacy, but I've let my new 19 yr old step sister stay in the main...
A. 2 November 2010: I just thought I might clarify. Usually I support people who are not related by blood. Step-sisters or ste-brothers are alright to date each other if they find themselves in love but this is not love, this is lust and therein lies the risk of ... (read in full...)
How should I go about resisting my new step sister?
Q. How should I go about resisting my new step sister? My dad recently remarried and he and his new younger wife are building a new home, so they are staying in my guesthouse for privacy, but I've let my new 19 yr old step sister stay in the main...
A. 2 November 2010: Tell her you are uncomfortable with the way she is behaving around you, walking around in what you say is lingerie. This is not appropriate.
Have some self-control. It is not difficult to set aside your lusts. If you see an attractive woman wa... (read in full...)
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