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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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He was my first everything, and cheated. Where do I go now?
Q. My screen name says it all, I am hurt and unsure, and here's why. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, Im in love with his family, as he is mine and things between us has always been wonderful. We never fought, and he respected me for ...
A. 10 December 2010: Just tell him that you need to talk to him, face to face. Tell him what it is about and why, how you feel about everything that has happened. You need to understand each other so ask him when you are talking to him about why he did the things he did ... (read in full...)
Slept with someone after husband abandond me now he wants back
Q. Several months ago my husband walked out on me and my kids. He abandond us and left us with no money and than tried to take my car and informed me to moved out of our family hom so i had to move across contry. I actually went without eating for a ...
A. 4 December 2010: He sounds manipulative and you do not need that sort of venom coursing through your life. He will draw you in only to tear you apart once more. Please, for your sake, leave him and ignore his apologies. What he did was an act of cowardice and you ... (read in full...)
I'm so confused about everything in my life and feel the clock ticking away!
Q. Hi, I'll keep this short. I just don't know what to do. I'm about to turn 30 next week and freaking out! I am pretty (although look 19 which I hate, as no one ever thinks I'm 30, so never get taken seriously) Anyway I'm single after 2 very bad...
A. 4 December 2010: Stop and look at your life. You have friends who love you and want to help you. You have all the time in the world to find someone who will love you and you have all the time in the world to start a family. Do not feel pressured to do all those ... (read in full...)
Should I give up? Or give it time?
Q. So there is this boy and he has a girlfriend, and we hooked up one night. And he is always smiling at me, and he told me he likes me, but he's still with her. And, she found out about us, and him cheating.. and she took him back again. And we hooked ...
A. 4 December 2010: Respect the fact that he is in a relationship with someone. For now, just cut off all contact with him. If he wants to be with you, he has to leave his girlfriend. What you are doing is enabling him to cheat on his girlfriend because you are there. ... (read in full...)
He was my first everything, and cheated. Where do I go now?
Q. My screen name says it all, I am hurt and unsure, and here's why. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, Im in love with his family, as he is mine and things between us has always been wonderful. We never fought, and he respected me for ...
A. 4 December 2010: Instead of asking how YOU can fix things, ask how HE can fix things. How is he fixing things? How much effort is he putting into getting you back and rebuilding your trust and faith in him? Has he given up drinking completely?
Your family should s... (read in full...)
Should I move on or let him move in?
Q. My bf and i have been together 2 years. we had our shares of bad times and even took a couple month break because our fighting got bad. well the time apart brought us close together so i thought. in the midst of things i have been having alot of ...
A. 4 December 2010: Blatantly put, you have been with this inconsiderate, romantically oblivious boy for two years now and he seems to think little of it. But then again, is that really such a surprise? You have already taken a break once for a couple of months and ... (read in full...)
I have an addiction to masturbating!
Q. I am a 17 year old female and i have struggled with an addiction to maturbating since i was 12 years old. I hate this about myself and desperatly need to stop. I am afraid that when i am married my husband won't be able to pleasure me like i can ...
A. 4 December 2010: You are the only one who can take control again. Limit yourself, bit by bit. You have already taken the first step in realizing that this is an addiction.
Everyday, distract yourself from it. Stop thinking about masturbation in general, avoid th... (read in full...)
Is this just a phase or should we call it a day?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and its been amazing we're both so happy. But the last month we're constantly fighting and on and off, but we don't last an hour without gettin back together. Is it time to call it a day or how do we ...
A. 4 December 2010: Every relationship has its own time of hardship. Try to talk to him about it, when you feel as though it is going to turn into another anger flooded argument, stop and wait a moment to cool your tongues. Then when you are both ready and calm, begin ... (read in full...)
I need advice on writing a letter, to my boyfriend.
Q. I want some advice really on writing letters. I have a very hard time explaining myself verbally so I have been thinking about writing a letter to my boyfriend to explain about things I have not been able to fully explain but that I want and need to ...
A. 4 December 2010: It is a good way to allow you to express yourself. He will not be able to cut you off or avoid the situation unless he throws it away but I doubt he would unless he truly does not care about you.
Actually, if you re-wrote what you just posted, ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend could do so much better than me!
Q. sigghh. i have so much i want too tell my boyfriend. like the fact that i think he could do SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME, because of my past i refer to my self as abnormal i do have a lot wrong with me, and i really love him and want the best for him.. ...
A. 4 December 2010: He is free to make his own choices and he is with you because he loves who YOU are. Is that not true? If he loves you, he probably feels like he cannot do better because he thinks you are already the best. Stop worrying. You are not abnormal. ... (read in full...)
Married, confused and could do with some objective views.
Q. to give a bit of back ground i have been married for 13 years and been with my wife for nearly 16. she is a great person and a great mother to our 3 children (aged 11,12,13). we got to together at young age and had the old whirlwhind roman...
A. 4 December 2010: So what exactly are your feelings towards your wife? Is there love anymore? If not, there really is no point staying in a loveless marriage that will do nothing but warp you until you are sour and unloving towards everything, including your ... (read in full...)
My wife told me she wants to be single and live by herself!
Q. Im 23 years old and my wife is 21. We knew eachother for 4 years dated for 2 years and have been married for 1 year. We have a 1 year old daughter. My wife is tired of being a mom and wife, she says she still loves me but she just wants to be ...
A. 4 December 2010: She is still young and her mind is flooded with different wants and desires. She may have thought she was but in fact, she is not ready for that kind of life. It is good that you made an effort, now you know that it was not you.
Give her some tim... (read in full...)
Do I try to talk to her again?
Q. Gotta a quick question for anyone who wanta to send some advice over I havnt been in a relationship in over 2 years. It did last a year in a half. Im not ugly, in peak physical condition, i try to be the best i can be to all people yet no gi...
A. 4 December 2010: The first step is always the hardest. When you try to talk to her, ignore whatever walls of worry you encounter. Once you start talking to her, it only gets easier and your worries will subside. Instead of worrying about whether or not you will get ... (read in full...)
Do I try to talk to her again?
Q. Gotta a quick question for anyone who wanta to send some advice over I havnt been in a relationship in over 2 years. It did last a year in a half. Im not ugly, in peak physical condition, i try to be the best i can be to all people yet no gi...
A. 4 December 2010: Why not wait until you two get a little closer, when you get the feeling that she feels something for you, if you see her giving little hints that she likes you, then you tell her. Grow in friendship first and then see where it goes.
I hope tha... (read in full...)
After 10 years of faithfullness he evicted me and divorced me
Q. At 34 i became divorced form my husband (MAJOR ISSUES and we had a friendly divorce) I had two children age 5 and 7. A year later I met the MAN OF MY DREAMS..a gift rom God. Although the man was divorced and 18 years older. He acted young and fu...
A. 3 December 2010: You have your children and they care about you. What would they do without their mother? Read through what you have written. You are the type of woman so many men search for and yet never find. You were devoted and loving and he was wrong to have ... (read in full...)
If I confront him and I'm wrong I will look like a paranoid crazy woman, but I really need to know if my gut instinct is correct!
Q. Last year I was ill and me and my partner moved to a new location. He was going back and forth between his old house when he was selling it and our new home. During my illness I got really out of shape and got the feeling he no longer desired me. ...
A. 3 December 2010: Just talk to him and ask him if he still loves you. It is not paranoid if you tell him that it was because of his behavior at that family party. Do not worry, you are only concerned about whether or not he still wants to be with you and such ... (read in full...)
Coping with my fiance's extremely promiscuous past
Q. I'm falling apart trying to deal with my fiance's questionable past. I've been reading similar posts from other guys on the subject for the past few months, and although they've helped a bit, the extreme nature of my case leads me to create my own ...
A. 3 December 2010: Help her become financially stable, help her take care of herself and her daughter. When all is right and she is stable, leave her.
This is not how a marriage should be born, this is not how a relationship should live. This is how a heart di... (read in full...)
Can men be happy with just an emotional relationship
Q. Is it possible that a married man could just want to enjoy an emotional attachment to someone else without being physical? I know it isn't right but we are filling a missing piece in each others life by giving attention to each other that our ...
A. 3 December 2010: This is complicated. In honesty though I would suggest divorcing your respective spouses or at least try to restore some of the love that once was when you got married.
Yes it is entirely possible for a man to be content with an emotiona... (read in full...)
He's sure I cheated so he's going to cheat too
Q. My BF constantly accuses me of lying and is insistent that I have cheated on him on more than 1 occasion. In fact, I have never cheated on him. I don't know what to do to convince him. Now, he has "assumed" since he "knows" I have cheated on him ...
A. 3 December 2010: Ask him why he thinks of you in such low regard that he would make such a serious accusation. Whatever the case, it seems rather illogical for him to cheat on you out of vengeance, does he really think that would solve anything? Your relationship ... (read in full...)
He's 24 years younger than me, can this work?
Q. I am seriously involved, we are moving in together next week, with a guy 24 years younger than myself. We are madly in love, can this really work out long term? We have a lot in common, our values, hope and dreams are very similar. Any help?...
A. 3 December 2010: I see no reason why it should not work. Aside from your age, if you find this attraction to him, to his personality, there is potential here despite age. The only problems that may occur are ones that revolve around stages in life. What he wants in ... (read in full...)
Almost two year old wont listen what do I do
Q. My almost two year old is driving me crazy she wont listen at all. Ive tried spanking time out everything even when i spank her and tell her no i say this is why u got in trouble i dont want u doing this anymore she still does it. Help idk what to ...
A. 3 December 2010: Instead of punishing her for doing something wrong, treat her for something she does right. She will then continue doing the right things in an attempt to seek approval.
I hope that helps... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm not supposed to be with anyone
Q. Hello again I'm sure many of you have heard that thing about nice guy vs the bad boy type and the bad always wins I am a nice guy I am very loving and caring and also very sensitive (not a quality I'm proud of but its there) and I love to help ...
A. 2 December 2010: There is always hope for those who seek it. No you are not alone and you never shall be. There are oceans of people who may feel as romantically hopeless as you. They feel as though their own existence is wrong. But it is quite the opposite. Those ... (read in full...)
B/f has told me he'd kill my family if I left him
Q. I found out i was pregnant a few weeks ago. Its not the best news but im learing to deal with it. Im only 21 and recently moved to sweden to be with my boyfriend. Before i found out i was pregnant i wanted to leave him and go home. I have nothen ...
A. 2 December 2010: These are idle threats. Without a word, leave him and take what you can, I highly doubt he will somehow achieve custody of the child. Do not worry, the moment you see your family again, you will know that you are safe and your family is safe.
... (read in full...)
B/f has told me he'd kill my family if I left him
Q. I found out i was pregnant a few weeks ago. Its not the best news but im learing to deal with it. Im only 21 and recently moved to sweden to be with my boyfriend. Before i found out i was pregnant i wanted to leave him and go home. I have nothen ...
A. 2 December 2010: These are idle threats. Without a word, leave him and take what you can, I highly doubt he will somehow achieve custody of the child. Do not worry, the moment you see your family again, you will know that you are safe and your family is safe.
... (read in full...)
He said he loved me but now is running
Q. My problem that i would like help with is my ex. I fell in love with my ex in a very short time too short. Things moved way to fast for both of us. He asked me what i wanted to do and i said lets go with it and see where it leads. He then got scared ...
A. 2 December 2010: Why carry on being friends with benefits at all? It almost seems as though he is using you and making up excuses so he can have sex with you and carry on being with other women.
Do not let him break your heart. Move on and just stop talking ... (read in full...)
Should I move on even though I love her?
Q. So I am a freshman in college with a girlfriend who is a junior in high school but only one year younger than me. We have been dating for about 7 months and love each other. The only problem is lately I have been feeling skeptical as to whether it ...
A. 2 December 2010: How much do you love her? Enough to wait until a better time?
I suppose if you are having doubts, it would be better for you to break up with her and move on, just in case you are tempted to engage in hooking up with other girls. It would re... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is still seeing his ex, how do I confront him?
Q. Hi all, I've had my suspicions for a while but always thought I was being paranoid and they were just good friends still and hang out in the same groups of friends. Last night he said he was out so i decided to sit outside his house and see wh...
A. 2 December 2010: It all depends on how you truly feel about all of this. Are your content with telling him to never contact you again? It is quite understandable, just be sure.
If you let him explain, who is to say that he will not lie to you? After this, will you... (read in full...)
For the guys: Have you ever made a move on a girl you did not like right away, but fell for after you got to know her?
Q. i need a guys opinion on this one... have you ever met a girl and straight off you the bat you were not attracted to her (she was overweight, not what you'd consider pretty, etc, etc). BUT, after getting to know her as a person things changed.....
A. 2 December 2010: A girl who was once my best friend. We met when I was in Year 7, I had entered school late and we were introduced by a mutual friend. Straight away I thought "well she isn't the prettiest girl I've ever seen" (please don't judge, I was young and ... (read in full...)
How can I make a guy who does not believe in love, fall in love with me?
Q. hello cupid. my question is that :- how can i make a guy who does not believe in love, fall in love with me? I know we cannot force anyone to fall in love with someone but at least can you guys give me some tips how can i impress him and attract ...
A. 2 December 2010: An ignorant conclusion. You cannot hate love. You can hate the relationships born from love that may end up shattering but you cannot hate love itself. When he feels it, he will see things quite differently.
You cannot persuade him to fall in ... (read in full...)
Should I just choke down my feelings and be happy with things are they are?
Q. So here's the deal - I think I know the answer, but opinions count. I met this woman at her work - she's doing a job for me. However, through our interactions, we've hit it off and have actually gone out a few times, mostly in a friendly setting...
A. 2 December 2010: There is no reason why you cannot admit your feelings for her whilst maintaining a stable frienship with her. It works both ways. If you begin as friends who happen to have deeper feelings for each other, you can progress slowly, just to ease ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to put everyone's feelings ahead of your own?
Q. Is it bad to always put everyone elses feelings ahead of yours? I have a problem. I think? Its not all sexual but im just going to give an example. Im pretty un happy with my life so I always try to make my boyfriends better even when I know he ...
A. 2 December 2010: Sex should never be about doing something you hate to make the other one happy. It should be about making you both happy. What does he do for you? How does he make you happy after you have finished giving him head?
About everything else...i... (read in full...)
Some confused person used me for sex!
Q. I was used by my ex for a month and a half..all along he had his best friend he was inlove with and kept as a "Bestfriend"..He also always made derogritory gay jokes about men and basically he wants to be with men..once he scremed out im gay. I fe...
A. 2 December 2010: It is alright for you to feel this way. He betrayed your trust in him and in doing so he forced all the respect you once had for him away, lost into the ether and never to return. So I suggest you stop contacting him and stop letting him contact ... (read in full...)
Massage gone wrong on my girlfriend?
Q. me and my girlfriend are together for 1 year.....we have a very happy relationship...i have been regular at having massages at home...they are done to me by my male masseau..he is very professional at his job...so i thot of letting my gf have a ...
A. 2 December 2010: No non-erotic massage ever involves rubbing a woman's breasts. So yes, he did do something wrong in fact, he did two things you should be outraged about. He demanded that she remove her bra despite her having refused to, he practically forced this ... (read in full...)
19 and still never been asked out!
Q. Okay, I feel like everyone ask's this question. But anyway, I am going to turn 20 in a few months and I still have yet to be asked out! I have never been asked out, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend. Well, I've always been shy, didn't have ...
A. 2 December 2010: Perhaps you have not been giving them the right signals. Or maybe they are intimidated. If you are really pretty, a lot of guys will be too intimidated to try anything with you because they assume you will have amazingly high standards or some such ... (read in full...)
She won't accept my apology!
Q. well me and my girl friend were having a bad day today. We got into a fight about something and in the end i told her that i was sorry for the way i was acting so i could be nice. But when she replied she just said "umm yeah it doesn't matter". I ...
A. 2 December 2010: I got the impression that you did not apologize face to face. An apology is more sincere when it is face to face, it is easier to accept because the recipient can tell whether or not it is a meaningful apology.
Even if you did apologize face to ... (read in full...)
Have I ruined my relationship forever?
Q. Hello. I think I may have messed up big time with my boyfriend. We were together a year and a half and he would sometimes say things to me jokingly but it hurt my feelings, or he would continue to bring up my past before him (like the fact that I ...
A. 2 December 2010: It was not you who ruined this relationshp. He ruined it when he refused to accept you for who you are. In relationships, it is alright to want change but the things he complained about and the way he went about it is completely wrong. Be glad he is ... (read in full...)
Does he just want to get me in bed?
Q. I like this guy alot and we have been dateing for about a month and he tells me he loves me and that he wants to make love to me.He calls and checks up on me almost every day and he makes me feel like he reali cares about me. I am not sure what to ...
A. 2 December 2010: Just wait. If he refuses to respect your wishes to wait, you will know that he is merely feeding you the hollow words. It has only been a month so if he already starting to tell you that he loves you, you should be suspicious. If he is honest, he ... (read in full...)
We're planning a threesome...am I wrong to demand we use protection?
Q. I'm married to my soul mate and sex is great I want to make things hotter for him I asked him if he would like a 3some and he was shocked but said yes. I'm so comfortable with our relationship is why I would do this. He would only want another ...
A. 2 December 2010: Absolutely not. You are right to demand protection. To avoid mistakes so you can both fully immerse yourselves in this without worry of accidents.
Truth be told though, I hope you have fully considered this and you trust each other enough because ... (read in full...)
I want to be with my ex but I'm stuck with my husband!
Q. Okay. So, I have been married to my husband for about a month, and so far it has been horrible.We dated our Junior and Senior year of high school and then we broke up. I ended up dating someone else for a year and I was absolutely in love with him. ...
A. 2 December 2010: Just divorce your husband and go on to pursue your ex. There is nothing worth keeping in this 'marriage'. Just make sure you date your ex for a lot longer than a month before marrying him.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I spent a few minutes in the car, now she's mad at me!
Q. I called my gf to let her know that I am leaving work and heading to her place. We usually eat out together when I get there. The trip took about an hour due to horrible traffic. Once I got there, I found a parking space that was close to her ...
A. 2 December 2010: She does seem as though she overreacted to something so miniscule. Perhaps she thought you were merely spending time in your care because you did not really want to be with her. I can only guess though because her reaction seems random. Has she been ... (read in full...)
Our 2 year old daughter is the only thing keeping us together!
Q. okay so i am only 19 years old and i have been with my bf alomost four years now, we have a two year old daughter and i have been living with him since i was 16, he is 20 years old. I love our daughter and i would never regret having her. However ...
A. 2 December 2010: You have already cheated on him twice. That alone has revealed a lot about your feelings towards him. This is not love, this is mere attachment. You cannot raise your daughter in a loveless relationship. There is definitely care here so there is no ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to sleep with someone on the first night?
Q. Is it a mistake to sleep with someone on the first night? Even if you've been friends for years? We had sex on the first night, and I really like him. He's still here even though we had sex. He tells me he misses throughout the day, and that he ...
A. 1 December 2010: You were lucky. He is not leaving after sex, in fact, it seems as though his behavior has changed for the better if he is willing to tell you how much he likes you. This does not happen a whole lot. Most guys will ignore a girl after they have sex ... (read in full...)
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