A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My first boyfriend took my virginity and the next day I caught him having sex with another girl in his basement. He didn't even care and had the nerve to twist it like it was my fault. I ended up having to get counseling for a year and now that I am happy with my 2nd boyfriend my ex boyfriend wants me to give him another shot. I feel awful, because I don't want to break his heart by letting him know that I got engaged last week to the most wonderful guy in the world. How do I let my ex boyfriend down without breaking his heart? Should I just ignore him the same way he ignored me? Should I have my mom tell him? I don't know what to do. Should I try to find him a girlfriend?????
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engaged, my ex, sex with another Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 You're engaged! You got over the trash that was your ex! Why does it matter what he feels? He is a user of women and deserves zero consideration!
Don't go reliving the past and sever any bonding feelings you have for him, or you'll be setting yourself up for another year of counselling and a possible destruction of a great relationship!
Stay away from him. Do NOT cheat or become nostalgic, unless your memories involve the crap he put you through!
A
female
reader, Princess Aunty  +, writes (16 November 2010):
Of course you should ignore him.
girl do you still love him? if not , why are you worrying about hurting him? did he worry about you when he cheated on you? of course not!! you should dump him the way he dumped you. girl he was with you only for sex and i guess he wants to return to you only for that particular reason. so be careful. i think you should ignore him totally and anyway you are having a wonderful life with your fiancee then why bother about him, the guy who cheated on you?? the one who disrespect your love?
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Why should you worry about hurting him when he so willingly hurt you? He should have known that this situation was inevitable. Tell him you are engaged, he can either accept it and perhaps continue being friends (albeit probably distant ones) or he can move on with his life.
Have a happy marriage.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): He didn't worry about hurting you, so why are you concerned about his feelings so much? Tell him "NO" you are not interested and are now engaged. Simple as that. I highly doubt that would break his heart. And as for getting your mother involved, if you are old enough to be engaged you are certainly old enough to deal with your own problems. Just tell him you are happily engaged and to go chase someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): Girl, tell him straight up you're engaged or just ignore him. Since you're engaged now, your fiance should be the prime of your attention and not your ex. Don't worry about your ex. If he had the nerve to cheat on you, he kinda deserves the news. You're happy with a nice guy and that's all that matters!
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