A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I had a rocky first year to our relationship where he screwed me over and lied about meeting up with his ex girlfriend. Since then he's worked so hard to regain my trust. However he's stopped seeing his female friends on a one to one basis. I feel bad about this even though it does keep my insecurities calm. I know if he did meet them i'd be tearing myself up inside. Not if it were a group, just the one on one basis thing. Problem is I feel i've accidently put him in a cage. My best friend says it's his own fault. But I don't know. I just feel bad.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): ~I AGREEE~
He erected, crawled into and locked his own cage.
It is not your responsibility to bear the consequence that he faces for having betrayed and hurt you.
That it is his choice to erect, crawl into and lock himself in his own cage is admirable in that he is aware of and sincerely remorceful for engaging in a behavior that hurt you..and so is wanting to earn your trust again.
If he didn't really love you or have any respect for you, he would have simply left you rather to by his own choice remain and lock himself in a cage to prove his devotion. Love, and commitment to you.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 November 2010):
You didn't put him in any cage at all. Don't feel bad. He made the decision to lie to you about seeing an ex, and he has since made the decision to regain your trust. And, in a sensible move, he's seen that to regain your trust, he's had to sacrifice seeing other girls on a one-to-one basis.
He made all his own decisions, and because he made them himself, chances are this relationship can really be worked on. So, stick with him and try to make it work. He's really trying to make it so.
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A
female
reader, Clover.Wildgust +, writes (14 November 2010):
Well just tell him you can still see your friends because i feel that I have inprisoned you and that it makes me feel bad and say that you trust him that he wouldnt be hooking up with anyone soon!!!
Clover. Wildgust
GOOD LUCK
XXX
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 He is choosing to do this, correct? You did not force him to. It is alright then if he is doing it, he cares about you a lot more than he cares about going out alone with one of his female friends. There is nothing so wrong about that because it is HIS choice. Do you trust him now? If you do, you can let him know that it is alright now, you know how much effort he is putting in to regain your trust and in my opinion, behavior like this means that he is not likely to betray your trust any time soon, or at all.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, KitKatsAndInsomnia  +, writes (14 November 2010):
Don't feel bad. They need to have boundaries. My bf says he used to have more female friends than guys but I'm not ok with him hanging out with any girls. He texts them, but that's all. And that'd about all I can stand
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A
female
reader, KitKatsAndInsomnia +, writes (14 November 2010):
Don't feel bad. They need to have boundaries. My bf says he used to have more female friends than guys but I'm not ok with him hanging out with any girls. He texts them, but that's all. And that'd about all I can stand
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