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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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I want to initiate an affair with a married friend of my wife and mine
Q. I am a married man,38. I have strong feelings for an older woman who is also married and is a friend of us. I can tell from her looks that she has the same feeling. Nothing has happened up to this moment, not a word expressed, nothing at all. Ca...
A. 2 January 2011: If you feel something towards this woman, you need to end things between you and your wife instead of betraying her this way. If this friend of yours has any amount of decency in her she will tell you the same and tell you that what you intend to do ... (read in full...)
Why do people think they can talk down to you, just because you're serving them food!
Q. Hi guys just a random question. Since I was 14 Iv worked in fast food to aupport myself and help out my family. I'm currently in uni and online o graduate with a first. But why is it that people think they can speak to you like crap just cos your ...
A. 2 January 2011: I know how you feel. When you serve people, expect to meet some of the lowliest the world has to offer sometimes. Keep striving for the best, you will be out of there soon enough. Keep smiling.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
How do I get over it/win her back?
Q. I'm very much a broken man at the moment, Me and my ex-wife split up 8 weeks ago to the day! This has happened before except I was the one who broke that off last time. A little history... I met my wife back in 2002, we had our first child in 2...
A. 2 January 2011: Well she did inquire about any relationships you might have been in, and apparently she asked about it several times which might be a good sign, a sign that she is still interested. Nobody fights that hard at first and then lets everything go that ... (read in full...)
Should I try to get her into therapy because of her past?
Q. There is this girl I know and were not exactly boyfriend girlfriend but we sure have a connection and i love this person very much. Well I read her diary and it said at the ages of 9-10 she was molested every day and practically raped and it ...
A. 1 January 2011: It is up to her. The fact that she wrote about it in her diary means she is not ready for anyone to know but she needed to let it out somewhere. Just be there for her so that when she breaks down she can come to you for comfort without having to ... (read in full...)
He may be confused, but now he's confusing me, and is he emotionally blackmailing me as well?
Q. Hey. I am 17. I met a guy on a gaming website 6 months ago. We played games and there was a chat box there too.. So we chatted and played for a month. He is 22. I told him where I lived after a month and found out that he lived in the same area as...
A. 1 January 2011: This boy has problems and I think you should stay away from him. His behavior seems somewhat immature and strange. Do not let him make you feel guilty, you are abiding by your faith and you should not let anyone force you away from it. If he did ... (read in full...)
Why is she with me?
Q. Gonna try keep this short.Im 27, met my current gf whos 25, 4 years ago through her sister,who is also my work colleague,she gave me her phone number so we could chat on an IM chat service.We chatted for a month,i got to know she liked clubbing,took ...
A. 1 January 2011: She behaved that way because she was still young and naive, but everyone makes mistakes and she has learnt from them, see the guilt she has already shown you, no she will not make that mistake again so you no longer have to question her for why she ... (read in full...)
People are spreading rumors about my fiance cheating!
Q. Other people are spreading rumors and accusing my fiance of cheating,They have also told him negative things about me. He said that he isn't cheating and it is causing a great deal of stress within the relationship. What do I do?...
A. 1 January 2011: Well what causes them to spread these rumors? If you know that these rumors are not true then pay them no heed. If these rumors are being spread by friends or family tell them that if they continue to speak about things that they know are untrue, ... (read in full...)
I acted standoffish because I've been hurt and now I'm worried I should have acted more interested
Q. I met a guy and immediately clicked with him. I was fresh out of a bad relationship, so acted standoffish and not that interested. Now, I really like the guy. What do I do? I don't want to get hurt again, but I don't want to lose him! ...
A. 1 January 2011: Maybe you could tell him why you acted that way and let him know that you are actually interested. I am sure he will understand and if he doesn't, he probably isn't the man for you anyway.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
How do I earn my boyfriend's trust back?
Q. How can I earn my boyfriend's trust back? I didn't physically cheat on him. I'm going through a VERY hard time right now. I recently lost my family. We were separated with foster families. The reasons don't matter, the point is that I went to a town ...
A. 1 January 2011: Do not worry. You have already done all the right things, all you can do now is give him some time, perhaps spend more time together and just let him know that you still love him and that he is still dear to you.
And I think the reasons do matte... (read in full...)
What would you guys do in a no win situation like mine?
Q. Hey. Just after some advice. Do you think hiding things is ever ok? My boyfriend is a very jealous, posessive and sometimes paranoid person. From past experiences with him I now go put of my way to avoid confrontation and accusations from him. ...
A. 1 January 2011: Honesty is the best way to go here. If you do not bother hiding anything he will have almost no reason to truly accuse you. Him accusing you doesn't mean that he actually feels you did anything wrong. I am sure he is truly paranoid but I think ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my boyfriend by telling him I'm pregnant with his twins, but I don't want to give them up or have an abortion either!
Q. Hello, I found out I'm pregnant at 17 and to make it even bigger its twins! I am so scared to tell my boyfriend. We both noticed I was gaining weight but I stopped working out the past few weeks because it was too time consuming. I don't want to ...
A. 1 January 2011: Have you told anyone at all? Your parents perhaps? In my opinion, they are the first ones who should know, as your parents, your father and your mother should be the ones who take care of you if your boyfriend rejects you. It will not be easy but it ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of six months forgot my birthday. Dump him or forgive him?
Q. My birthday was a couple days ago and he still hasn't noticed. There are only two scenarios: He really did forget, or he's getting revenge on an argument we recently had. But either way... Should I reevaluate our relationship? We've been together ...
A. 31 December 2010: Forgetfulness does not mean he does not care. You have only been dating for 6 months so give him another chance and see what he does to make up for missing it. See what happens on your next birthday, perhaps after this relationship has had a chance ... (read in full...)
Can u sleep with someone and have no feelings for them and still be in love with your wife?
Q. Im lost...I've been married to my husband for over 8 years ( and we have 2 kids tog) and i found out 2 weeks ago from a womans husband that my husband had been sleeping with his wife for the pass 5 months while he was in kuwait..hes home now and ...
A. 31 December 2010: Well it may not have been out of anything except the apparent thrill of an affair, especially one that involves two married people. In the end, it does not matter how sorry he is, he did what he knew was wrong, he knew what the consequences were but ... (read in full...)
Is this the end? He left my daughter and I stranded on the road.
Q. I just let my boy friend move in with me because he didn't have a place to move to, so we agreed we would split everything 50/50. It has been 2 days and he works a lot so we don't see a lot of each other. We went to go transfer internet and cabl...
A. 31 December 2010: Is that truly someone you want in your life anyway? Clearly he showed little respect for your daughter, so even you two did eventually 'reconcile', what kind of tension would you be inviting into your life knowing everyday that he might do something ... (read in full...)
Do you think it's possible that we're actually in love at such a young age?
Q. Hi(: Okay, as you all know adults and even other teens say when your in high school you think you're in love but you don't know what love is. Well, I've been with mmy boyfriend for almost 15 months now and honestly I can say I love him. I...
A. 31 December 2010: Personally I would not listen to those who tell you that at that age you "would not know what love is", even some adults do not know until they feel it. Nobody knows. What people mean to tell children is that at that age your body is changing and ... (read in full...)
Will the hurt ever go away, or should I cut my losses and apply for a divorce and let 10 years of marriage go down the drain?
Q. My husband had a one night stand with a "friend" of mine. I am not sure that I can forgive or forget it. I have tried and we have done the counsleing deal, but I have so much anger inside of me, because I feel as if he has brought this into our ...
A. 31 December 2010: That depends on what he has said to you and how your marriage was before. Why did he have this one night stand in the first place? Out of curiosity? Out of greed perhaps? You have to talk about it until you are content with the answer, until you are ... (read in full...)
Help. Baby daddy family drama part 2.
Q. My son's biological father, we will call him Cord, died in June of 2009 he was drunk on father's day and fell off of a roof. My son was six months old at the time. 1. Cord was never there for our son even before he died. He never helped me financ...
A. 30 December 2010: Of course you are right, you are his mother, you know what is best for him and I know that your choice in this is right, you cannot let an innocent child be tainted by the more malevolent 'family members'.
When everyone finds out they are lying an... (read in full...)
His mom walked in on us having sex!
Q. Hi. Im not gonna go round the houses with this, its embarrassing enough! My boyfriend and i (of 7 months) were taking advantage of his free house yesterday lunchtime ish. His mum unexpectedly arrived home early and caught us having rather heavy sex, ...
A. 30 December 2010: You just forget about it and move on, I am quite certain she knew something like this would happen anyway, with or without her walking in on it. Sex is natural and this whole incidence will pass in time. Don't worry, just carry on as you would ... (read in full...)
I've gotten involved with a controlling man again. I want to leave but I'm scared!
Q. I feel a little silly, and scard to type this question, but i'm at a dead end and i don't know what else to do. i am 31 years old, i was divorced 8 years ago from a very controlling manipulative man ... we had 2 children together. i swore to myself ...
A. 30 December 2010: You managed to pack and you almost left once but you didn't because of your children. This time you have to do it, this time you pack, you walk out of that door and no matter how much anyone starts crying you KEEP walking because you KNOW it is what ... (read in full...)
Why do my classmates make fun of me? How can I blend in and make them accept me?
Q. My name is Cailtyn, but I go by the nickname Cat. In my classes I'm barked at and people make fun of it all the time. I've asked them to stop and I've explained it's just a shortening for my name when they ask. They say I think I'm better than them. ...
A. 29 December 2010: Do not listen to them, do not give in to them. They are only fools playing a fool's game, toying with anything they can but you cannot give them the satisfaction of winning. Once they realize you are stronger, they will grow bored and leave you ... (read in full...)
What if I never get married because of this?
Q. i can really like a boy for a really long time then when it finally comes to when we go out , like after a week ill lose all the strong feelings i had for them . i dont know what it is . like even if the boy acts the same way he did befor we started ...
A. 29 December 2010: Do not worry about that. All this is is another adolescent complication of emotions. You are still growing and your mind and body is still getting used to the more powerful emotions you will feel. You are still young so do not worry about getting ... (read in full...)
It just disgusts, saddens, and makes me depressed everytime I think about my girlfriend's past
Q. So this is kind of a interesting situation. My girlfriend is 16 years old, and I am 18 years old. We have been in a steady relationship for about a year now. I have been having problems getting over her past. At one time, she got mixed into the w...
A. 29 December 2010: You cannot knock those images away so easily but you can try and ignore them. In time they will pass and you will forget, imagine how hard it must be for her, she must be trying to forget as well. Just try and live through those images, do not let ... (read in full...)
Are chivalry and fidelity things of the past?
Q. After getting my heart broken about a year and a half ago. Am I naïve to still believe in chivalry and fidelity? ...
A. 28 December 2010: I hope not but, you are not alone in this. I have wondered similar things. Sometimes I think myself old fashioned, I like being the gentleman that a woman can confide in or seek warmth from but nobody seems to like that nowadays. I do not know ... (read in full...)
My mom won't forgive my boyfriend
Q. my mom won't forgive my boyfriend. yes, he's bipolar and a recovering addict and has done some things that should be deemed unforgiveable (stealing $400 from her, flipping out on her etc.) but now he's in a mental rehabilitation home and even ...
A. 28 December 2010: There is not much you can do, it is up to your boyfriend to prove himself to her. It is difficult but he has to show her irresistible, immutable proof that he has changed, proof that she cannot deny.
I suppose you could talk to her about this and... (read in full...)
I made a horrible mistake and lost her. Should I tell her I love her?
Q. Am I the only one down in the dumps for playing the hard to get game and lost because I took it to far? She's with him now. I regret never telling her I love her. Should I tell her or is it to late? She got engaged to him Christmas Day....
A. 27 December 2010: You could but it would do little unless she still feels strongly for you in which case this whole engagement is almost aimless and prone to disaster. You did make a mistake and I am afraid it was a fatal one, if you choose to tell her, be prepared ... (read in full...)
Almost 14 and no relationship experience yet
Q. I'm 13, 14 in January, and I've never had a relationship. I've never kissed anyone either. All my friends have at least kissed one, and most of my friends are in relationships and are really happy. Is this honestly normal for me to be nearly 14 and ...
A. 27 December 2010: Yes it is completely normal and I would not pursue a relationship at that age, everyone is still immature and unknowing of what it is they feel. You are all still growing so do not feel ashamed of never having had a relationship yet. Be patient and ... (read in full...)
It just disgusts, saddens, and makes me depressed everytime I think about my girlfriend's past
Q. So this is kind of a interesting situation. My girlfriend is 16 years old, and I am 18 years old. We have been in a steady relationship for about a year now. I have been having problems getting over her past. At one time, she got mixed into the w...
A. 27 December 2010: We all make mistakes. Hers are simply more dire in your eyes and you need to change that. Why is she your girlfriend anyway if you cannot overcome the disgust you currently feel? Why not just leave her and find someone more 'pure'?
There is a rea... (read in full...)
I'm going to lose my baby and my boyfriend is not comforting me !
Q. Hello, I just found out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago. completely by surprise i am always careful with my birth control and my youngest child is 18 years old with out so much as a scare since he was born. My boyfriend did not take it well. we have ...
A. 26 December 2010: Any man who believes a child's death was fated while his partner is crying her eyes out deserves to be alone. It was cold and cruel behavior, it was inconsiderate and rather foolish. A man like this is not someone you want to continue having a ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend saved my life and is now handicapped. Should I stay with him?
Q. I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 24. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me. It almost sounds unreal, but he saved my life about one month ago. He pushed me out of the way from getting hit by an oncoming car, but he was badly injured. Right now, ...
A. 26 December 2010: What about being young? Is it your studies you are worried about? That is quite understandable, if you are too take care of someone, you have to first take care of yourself. If it is about having fun while you are still young, I am afraid it will be ... (read in full...)
My heart says he loves me but my brains says hes just screwing around
Q. Okay, I have a huge problem. I am in love with my next door neighbor and I have been since I was in second grade.He is two years older than me and he and my brother HATE each other. But I still find myself thinking about him every 5 minutes.The ...
A. 26 December 2010: He sounds like the boy who makes a lot of mistakes, mostly because his own life is a mess. Give him a chance to sort his life out, sort his mind out. Ignore him for now, perhaps later, after this whole ordeal begins to seem faded, you can start ... (read in full...)
What's the point of his behavior?
Q. so i am extremely confused and am in desperate need of some new perspective on the issue. i met this guy and we hit it off right away he approached me and we just had a great time together. we kissed but nothing more. after that night we texted ...
A. 26 December 2010: There are so many possibilities. Many things could have happened, for all anyone knows, he might have lost his phone. Just wait a little longer, another day or two at most and then text him again, if there is nothing, just forget about him. If he is ... (read in full...)
My wife can't have children so she told me to marry her sister!
Q. 1 am 30 years man . I am married with good wife of 28..we have no child ... we consulted a doctor , there is some problem in my wife , so there is no chance of child .. my wife has one sister of age 23 ,my wife ask me marry her , whether i can ma...
A. 25 December 2010: You do not need to marry someone else. Do you love your wife? Do you have any feelings for her sister? If you love your wife, all else should be irrelevant. There are a multitude of options. We live in a modern age where absolutely nothing is ever ... (read in full...)
After two and a half years he's still not "ready" to get married??
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating about 2.5 years. I love him and want to marry him and he says the same....BUT he is not ready right now. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!? I really do not understand, he says he does picture me as his wife and ...
A. 24 December 2010: It just means he is not ready, perhaps he wants to secure a happy future financially? Perhaps he wants to ensure that he has the right stuff to be a good husband. Marriage is sacred and it cannot be rushed into. You have to be entirely sure that it ... (read in full...)
She has a male best friend AND a boyfriend--how is it possible?
Q. The other day I met a young woman at a party. She was talking about how she was leaving soon, and her friend was picking her up. "He's coming in 15 minutes," she said. I was sort of interested in her, so I asked, "Oh, is that your boyfriend?" "...
A. 24 December 2010: That is not strange at all. Although you are right to some degree, a lover should also be a best friend but some people do not feel that way and there is nothing wrong with that, it depends on how long she has known her friend and how long she has ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for me to date my ex's brother?
Q. I was involved with someone for about 1 1/2 years. I was very much in love with him, but it turns out that he did not feel the same. He lied to me, betrayed me, caused me great financial stress, suffered an emotional breakdown that landed me in ...
A. 22 December 2010: Of course it is okay! There is nothing wrong with this morally, spiritually or even physically. Nothing should stop you from pursuing a relationship with someone who feels the same way about you as you do for him. Forget your ex. Good luck.
I hop... (read in full...)
My boyfriend becomes verbally abusive when he drinks
Q. When I first met my boyfriend he was always a gentleman and always made sure to say the sweetest things. As time went by we began to hang out and I began to fall for his act of kindness. Off the bat I knew this relationship was not an attraction ...
A. 20 December 2010: The top priority is his drinking problem. He needs to deal with it and stop drinking. He needs to stop going out to bars or anywhere alcohol is available, he needs to start looking for a decent paying job so he can put those skills of his to use.
... (read in full...)
Is it my fault my daughter's a lesbian? How do I correct her?
Q. My daughter went out of town for a business trip 3 weeks ago, and I've been going to her town home r times per day to check on and feed her 2 cats. Today I had the shock of my life when I entered her town home this afternoon... when I entered her ...
A. 19 December 2010: I would suggest you rethink your faith. Not to spite it, not to question what you truly believe but to test what you doubt. Why should someone be damned merely for loving someone in particular, someone of the same gender? Will you cling to some ... (read in full...)
Am I expecting too much now that we're married?
Q. I met my wife online and we had a great relationship in the beginning. She was NEVER in a long term relationship before me but I never thought that to be a problem until we started having problems. I was previously married and have 4 kids. While we ...
A. 17 December 2010: What do you do for her now? Do you help her take care of the children? You realize that one baby makes all the difference in the world. Do you help her take care of the children? You are her partner and once things are alright family-wise you two ... (read in full...)
Why does she find it hard to look at me???
Q. So theres this girl who once before looked me in the eye for a long period of time, like we were the only ones in the room and seemed so into me, in deep meaningful way, for a prolonged time (5 or 6 secs) but she cant seem to look at me any other ...
A. 17 December 2010: Why not go up to her and talk to her, make her feel more comfortable in your presence so she does not feel the need to shy away. There is obviously some interest here, go on and talk to her. I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
My children's father abandoned us, but his brother stepped in and saved the day.....is it wrong that we have fallen in love?
Q. I am a single mother of two children. The father of my children abandoned us with nothing. No food, no money, and no secure shelter. When my children's father brother found out about the situation he provided us food and shelter. In this process we ...
A. 16 December 2010: What could be better for your children than to be provided for and to be loved and sheltered? You are free to love whomever you choose and nothing anyone else says should matter.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Move Forward or Move out
Q. So my story goes like this. My girlfriend and I started having some major problems around March of 2010, which culminated in May. We were having alot of trouble because she was generally unhappy with her job, and kept bringing problems home. After ...
A. 16 December 2010: Technically she did not do anything wrong. She was depressed and her mind and heart were broken which is why even though she knew it was wrong, she could not resist it, the momentary pleasure of sex. The pleasure she found with 'Dan'. She lied to ... (read in full...)
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