A
female
age
41-50,
*onder1981
writes:I'm 29 years old, soon to be 30. Have a great husband (29), we've been married just over a year and together for 4. I have this burning desire to have a baby, have felt this way for about 6 months now but my husband says he's not ready and we both get uncomfortable and what seems to be a little angry at each other when I bring it up. I've tried to forget about it/put it off/convince myself that I'm not ready either but it's always on my mind. I watch many friends and family members falling pregnant and having babies and it pulls on my heart strings. I'm worried that he will never 'feel ready' to have a baby. I guess i'm just feeling a little alone in it all cos I feel bad to bring it back up with him and would just like to hear from others that may have gone through this b4 or have an opinion about it or some words of advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wonder1981 +, writes (23 November 2010):
wonder1981 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much guys, it's so great to be able to talk about this and get some really nice supportive answers!
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 A baby really is something that both of you have to agree on. I agree with Cerberus_Raph that no one is ever really ready, but it's best not to start until you can at least say you're ready.
Raising the kid(s) is going to have to be a cooperative enterprise. Start it as a team, don't set the tone of acting on your own this early. The fact that you want a baby with this guy so badly is a good sign, so if you can keep it under control, you're already on the right path.
Obviously I can't give you a definite timeline for when he'll be ready, but pushing him will extend that date. Be patient, it'll happen soon enough.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Technically I do not think anyone is ever ready to have a child. But although Parenthood has its struggles and stressful situations, it remains a blessing. To hold a new born in your arms and hear its shrill laughter or cry, then to watch it grow. It is a learning experience as well as a privilege.
Perhaps you could delve into the matter deeper. Why does he feel he is not ready? Is he simply too attached to your current lifestyle? Is he afraid of changing that lifestyle? Perhaps he is afraid of fatherhood? Those are the only reasons I can think of that may discourage someone from having a baby. If he is scared, remind him that you will be compromising too, you two are partners in such matters, you support each other and ensure that the other gets their fair share of leisurely time or such things. Talk to him about it, it is nothing to get angered about if you two disagree, it is something to understand.
I hope that helps.
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