She won't tell me to my face that she made a mistake breaking up with me!
Q. Six months ago, I dated this girl for a month. She broke up because she said she still had feelings for previous ex whom she dated off and on for over a year. She said she doesn't think she will ever go back to him because he's a jerk. Now six ...
A. 19 June 2012: If you're still interested, ask her out. Take your time, get to know her again. You may find that you can trust. It is probably just a case of her not being very mature as yet. Give her a chance, if you really like her.... (read in full...)
My sister has major issues with me. but will not tell me why. How can I address thus issue?
Q. so like a week ago my sister screamed at the top of her lungs that she hates me over and over again... It really hurts to know someone you care about hates you...and i know that she really hates me because this was no anger thing she just out of t...
A. 10 June 2012: Have you asked your mother if she knows what it's about? Maybe it's something that you didn't do thats bothering your sister. If she won't tell you, there's not much you can do. I'm sure she'll get over whatever it is. It can't be too major if you ... (read in full...)
Why is he being so hesitant about revealing his thoughts? Is he trying to ask me out?
Q. Ok So I've been friends with this guy for about 4 years. He has liked me on and off during the years but I always saw him as a friend. He told my best friend( also his good friend) that he liked me but after a while said he was giving up on me....
A. 10 June 2012: Why didn't you ask him at the time, what he was talking about? It does sound as though he has feelings for you, but then when you didn't respond to what he was fishing about, he felt awkward and embarrassed. If you like him, tell him so now, and ... (read in full...)
What should I do to help my wife? She does not want intimacy and has lost confidence in herself.
Q. my wife says her lack of sex drive is due to her feeling over weight and ugly. I tell her she is perfect the way she is but it doesn't help. I am not in anyway the stud muffin either but I am comfortable with myself and just want to have a better s...
A. 10 June 2012: Well ,you can't force her into making her feel better about her self. She has to feel good about herself, just you saying that she is a good enough the way that she is won't make her feel better. If she is feeling over weight, maybe you could ... (read in full...)
It saddens me that we have to treat the kids like this out of desperation and protection for ourselves.
Q. I am growing very resentful of my husbands two boys. When I met him 7 years ago my first impression was that the boys were spoiled and disrespectful. But their mother had died 6 months prior so I made excuses and tried to be warm and friendly to ...
A. 3 June 2012: It is very sad isn't it, that it has to be this way. But they are adults, (not very nice ones!) and I can't imagine them changing anytime soon. You will probably do better to distance yourself from them, even if it means blocking them on your phone. ... (read in full...)
Is She Worth Keeping?
Q. Well me and my girlfriend have been together for about 10 months. Just recently I heard from her aunt that she has a lying problem not just with me but her family. Her aunt told me that she hasnt had a job since we have been together, altho she said ...
A. 19 May 2012: It is very hard to have a relationship when you can't trust each other. It might be best to walk away from this relationship, she does sound like a troubled girl, and there isn't much that you can do to help her when she lies to you. Don't worry ... (read in full...)
Should I just kiss my friend to see where I stand with him?
Q. I'm a grown woman who feels like a teenager (with no disrespect intended) addressing my question. The guy I dated 3yrs back is my age. He was the first time I ever truly understood the meaning of love. The feeling was mutual. Too to good to be true ...
A. 19 May 2012: Next time you are together, suggest taking a walk. While walking, get close and just casually take his hand, while in his personal space, you will pick up the vibe as to whether there is a physical connection or not. You will be taking a step toward ... (read in full...)
Dealing with my g/f after she's been out with the girls drinking is like walking into a minefield!
Q. So I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 5 years now. Most of it good, lately a lot of it bad. She is 43 and in the past year is when she really started getting bad with anger, mood swings and depression. One major issues is that she likes to ...
A. 19 May 2012: Binge drinking is a problem, and that would come under Alcoholism. She could possibly be starting early menopause, but I have my doubts about that. It sounds more to me that there is a problem in your relationship. You need to get her to talk to ... (read in full...)
After 3 years he still hasn't said "I love you"
Q. There was this guy I was with in my college time, he used to visit me many times so I thought he was interested in me and started visiting and thereby got intimate but the thing is for about three years now since we've been in this relationship he ...
A. 19 May 2012: Do you love him? Have you told him that you love him? Do you want him to be in love with you? He must like you at least, to be still around after three years. You need to communicate with the guy, to know anymore, don't assume anything, ask. Good ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with Loneliness?
Q. I have been hurting lately. Not to the point of complete depression but enough to make me feel a little sad and unsure about myself. Even though I never knew her, I had a sister who died when I was only a baby, so I am an only child. My father tells ...
A. 5 May 2012: Have you tried writing? Any kind of writing, keeping a journal, or writing short stories? What you have written is well written, and you express yourself extremely maturely for your age. Writing could be away for you to fill that void, and to ... (read in full...)
I thought everything was fine, why hasn't she gotten back to me?
Q. Hello so me and my girlfriend have been together for a month and it's been great and we have a lot in common. She's been really cool but we had an argument a couple days ago but made up that night. I went over to her place and stayed the night and ...
A. 5 May 2012: Why don't you just text or call her? There is probably a simple explanation.... (read in full...)
I've noticed an ongoing thing, how do I change it?
Q. i have noticed a recurring theme regarding women in my life. i can attract them and keep them through manipulation, but if i try to act as though i really am, they become disinterested. so i must always play games. it becomes tiresome. also, ...
A. 30 April 2012: You only attract the sort of woman that wants to be manipulated, because of what you are projecting. You should try being yourself all the time, get used to that, then see what turns up. Keeping up an act all the time is very tiring, and that ... (read in full...)
He stares at me but I'm too shy to find out if that means he's interested!
Q. Hi everyone! I need some help and would greatly appreciate any advice you have to offer. There's this guy that I work with who stares at me. At first I thought it was in my head, but when I look away and then look back, he's still staring. The ...
A. 28 April 2012: It is very hard when you are both shy. You could write him a note, asking him to meet you for a coffee after work, name the time and place. Slip the note onto his desk when he is away from. Then, if he turns up he is interested, great. If he ... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this shy slump?
Q. i have this problem with girls. i am 16 and last year at this time this girl and i liked each other. well...... it was the end of the school year and i had many opportunites to ask her out but i wimped out. i havent seen her at all this year accept ...
A. 28 April 2012: That is what happens when we don't take chances in life. When you fear something, such as rejection, and don't take that leap - asking a girl out- we then turn back in on ourselves and beat ourselves up for not taking opportunities. Each time ... (read in full...)
I am having a really hard time adjustting to Americans.
Q. Ok so I know this is going to upset a few people and I am sorry but I really need some advice. So 4 months ago I was transferred from my office in Melbourne Australia to New York. I didn't really have a choice my work moved my role here so if ...
A. 18 April 2012: I am from Melbourne also, and was in New York last year. I had an amazing time, loved the city and its natives. Yes, they are different, but I find South Australians different too. It does generally take awhile to adjust to people that you don't ... (read in full...)
I know my mom is cheating with my band director. How do I stop it so my dad doesn't find out?
Q. My mom has been married to my dad for 19 years. A year ago I began to see her texting my Band Director/teacher just about everytime I saw her on he phone. I confronted her about it and they said they were ashamed of me thinking that and thy would ...
A. 12 April 2012: This is really hard for you, but it is your parents business and not yours. You can't tell your father, because it's not your place to bring that kind of pain to him. You've already tried to talk to your mother, but she just lied to you. It is a ... (read in full...)
My pregnant girlfriend is worried about gaining weight and isn't eating right!
Q. My girlfriend is currently pregnant. This will be her second child, this is my first baby. She suffers from bouts of depression here and there, and I talk to her and try to lift her spirits as best I can. My concern is her eating, or, at times, l...
A. 12 April 2012: Your girlfriend is in need of professional help. The best thing you can do for her is to get her this help; even if you have to organise it and take her there. She sounds as though she could be suffering from Prenatal Depression, which you need to ... (read in full...)
She completely erased me from her life like she didn't want anyone to know we were together
Q. I need help with my fiance. She's been really distant lately, and I hardly talked to her the last few days, and then today, she was completely short with me. When I asked her what was wrong she just stopped texting me. Tonight I got on facebook to ...
A. 11 April 2012: You need to have a talk with the girl. You may have done or said something to upset her; or she's met somebody else. But as you have no idea, you'll have to keep asking. And don't text, go and see her face to face. If you are engaged, you are ... (read in full...)
Someone hacked into my account and told my ex that I love him but I don't
Q. my facebook account got hacked recently, and the hacker told my ex on chat that i still loves him and never stopped the problem is by the time i saw the hackers message my ex had replied "i love you too, you know i do u r the one 4 me 3" i feel ...
A. 9 April 2012: Go straight with the truth, deal with the mess as soon as possible. It is going to be very uncomfortable, but you have to do it.... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance at all with my friend?
Q. Dear aunts, I begin by admitting am at a point in my life when I feel I need a man not just for company but for sex as well. But ave never dated really so am not experienced. So there is this guy who is my friend. We flirt a lot, well he initiate...
A. 9 April 2012: Go for it. If it doesn't work out, just laugh it off, you will recover. If it does work out, great. But you won't know unless you to a chance. That is what life is all about. I think that you are definitely in with a chance. Good luck. xx... (read in full...)
Am I being conned online?
Q. -This was in a cam chat- So I met a guy online and he seems to be into me and I'm into him. Usually when I meet guys on cam all they want to see is my body which is pretty normal I think. But this guy first asked to see my eyes (since I usually...
A. 7 April 2012: What you are doing is not safe, nor is it appropriate. You need to stop. Listen to your sister.... (read in full...)
Should I tell him all my 'issues'? I don't want to freak him out
Q. I'm a recovering alcoholic and bullimic ( doing well now by the way) but it's hard work all the time. I've been seeing a man that I've known many years that isn't privy to my issues. We've been dating a little over a month and just started sleeping...
A. 7 April 2012: Sure thing, you should tell him. You've known him for years, you're getting closer, so you must consider him your friend now. Give him the chance to truly know who your are. When you do tell him though, give him time and space to digest the ... (read in full...)
Sacrifices to move in with girlfriend - am I being petty?
Q. My girlfriend is a few years older than myself and has a 5 year old daughter. We've been dating for about a year and a half and have been increasingly talking about moving in together. What I want to know is "does it sound like our relationship has ...
A. 4 April 2012: No, you are not being petty at all. It sounds as though you will be giving up your entire way of life, to be living someone else's. And you don't sound too sure to me. When your GF recently bought the 'little dog and a house in a small town', ... (read in full...)
How could he just end things like that to go with a girl young enough to be his daughter?
Q. Ok so I was with a Guy for a year..its been to rocky but recently I started thinking he was talking to other girls through texts an Facebook so I ended it after a few lies N things I found an he was keeping his phone on him an getting texted late ...
A. 4 April 2012: He must not have felt the same way about the relationship as you. Don't try to figure out why it didn't work, just be glad that you are now free from him. He was mean to you, and didn't care about your feelings. You deserve much better than that.... (read in full...)
My mom hasn't bothered acknowledging my birthday
Q. Tomorrow is my 23rd birthday. I'm moving away soon, and this will probably be my last birthday in my mother's house. She only comes home on weekends, and leaves every Monday for work, so today we were supposed to celebrate. She claimed she didn't ...
A. 2 April 2012: Yeah, we expect to be the special one just one day of the year, not too much to ask is it? If she's done it before, she'll do it again. You are entitled to have a huge whinge.
Hopefully this is the worst that life throws your way.
I hope you have... (read in full...)
Empty nest, infidelity, mistrust, insecurity, low self esteem, no sex...is my marriage doomed?
Q. i am 46 yrs old, married for 25 yrs, all of our children are grown. we got married because i got pregnant. It was my husbands idea to get married. He wanted to do the right thing. After our daughter was born we had two more children, a son and ...
A. 2 April 2012: Have you thought about having some counselling? It sounds to me as though you really want to change your relationship with your husband, have tried a few different things, but they're not working. Maybe its time for professional help. It can't ... (read in full...)
Ended up having sex with another man while at my bachelorette party at Vegas!
Q. ***Before I begin, please don't judge me for what I did, I already know it was wrong, and I feel horrible*** I am enganged at an amazing man who I love very much, our wedding is about a week away. This past weekend my girlfriends and I went to Ve...
A. 2 April 2012: Personally, I think you have to tell him, and before you get married. You won't be able to go on as you are now, you will have to explain to him why you are such a mess. You've made a massive mistake, and will have to wear the consequences. He ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy or does it sound like he likes me?
Q. So there's this guy...(I know, girls always start out the question this way), I'm 18 and he's 26. I've known him for a couple of years and just recently thought he might have a thing for me. When I first met him, he was swearing left and right and a ...
A. 1 April 2012: Yeah, sounds to me as though he likes you :-)... (read in full...)
I agreed to an open relationship, he said we'd talk about it once I was back off holiday but still no word....should I mention it?
Q. Ok, so I've been seeing this guy for the last six weeks. 4 and half weeks ago, he said he could only be in a relationship with me, if he had the chance to have sex with other women otherwise he wouldn't be happy in the relationship. so I said I ...
A. 30 March 2012: Do you really want to be in a relationship with a man who would be having sex with other women? Really?
Possibly, he just said all that rubbish at the start, about not being able to be in a relationship with you if he couldn't blah blah blah... (read in full...)
Would you spent a lot on a birthday gift for your partner if you received nothing for yours?
Q. Im curious to find out others opinions on this. Would you spent a considerable amount of money (over $400) on a birthday present for your boyfriend, if he did not get you anything for your birthday? (birthdays are few months apart). I know it isn't...
A. 30 March 2012: If money is tight, there's your answer. $400 is a lot of money. Maybe he should be buying this thing that he wants, himself. It's not about who gives what, and when. If you are a gift giving girl, the get him a gift that you can afford, and that ... (read in full...)
My doctor acts weird around me, why is this?
Q. Ok, I have a physician (gyneocologist) that is overseeing my pregnancy. I have been a patient of his for about 7 years. He is about 56 yrs old. Well here is the issue, he seems so nervous around me. I watch him interact with other patients and ...
A. 30 March 2012: Yes, I believe you should change doctors. You feel that he is uncomfortable around you, and treats you differently to his other patients; to me thats enough reason to move on. You don't really want to have to ask him whats that matter, whats going ... (read in full...)
He will kiss me on a Monday through to Friday but never on a weekend when its my day of rest!
Q. i love my boyfriend very much, but i dont understand something he does. we hang out every day, and everything goes well, but on my days off (weekends) he goes and does other things, for instance tonight he is at his inlaws. i did work today for the ...
A. 25 March 2012: I am a bit confused - he is your boyfriend, but he has in-laws? So does that mean that he also has a wife???
Wife or no wife, he is using you; if he knows and understands how you are feeling, and continues with the same behaviour. I don't see how ... (read in full...)
Dead beat boyfriend wont get a job!
Q. What should I do about my live-in boyfriend not getting a job? We have been together for nearly 3 years now. He got fired from his job in October for leaving the property, while on the clock of all things. He hasn't had a job for going on 5 ...
A. 20 March 2012: I get the feeling that he won't get a job, unless it falls into his lap! Maybe the time has come for you to take a look at what you really want. And is this the life that you really want?... (read in full...)
He makes my heart beat so fast. Did I miss my chance?
Q. I am a 35 years old male, and gay actually. I met a very handsome guy, 8 years younger than me. In fact we work together and gradually I feel a mutual interest to grow between us. Today he started to ask me about personal things and that what do I ...
A. 20 March 2012: Personally, I would leave it alone for now. As you are working on 'a very important project' it may be safer not to get involved. And you are right, I believe, to not want to mix professional and personal, things can get into a bit of mess. Good ... (read in full...)
Is this love or lust? and how can I get over this? My parents don't approve!
Q. Sorry for the long story, but I think it is important to say it all. About an year ago, my friend introduced me to a Filipino girl for dating. However, I was reluctant to date since I knew my parents won't approve a non-Indian for marriage (I am f...
A. 22 January 2012: I believe should never again contact this girl, she is just far too different from you in so many ways, back ground, upbringing, values. You don't have anything in common with each other, to sustain a long term relationship. You will get over ... (read in full...)
Why do people think it's wrong of me to not date within my own race?
Q. I've had people telling me that I cant "like" other people from different cultural/racial background. I don't understand why because as far as I'm concerned getting to know the individual is far more important. E.g The guy I like is mixed race (ha...
A. 22 January 2012: Aren't you doing the same as those you are talking about, by putting all 'black guys' into the same category, and not considering dating them? Just an observation, not a judgement!... (read in full...)
Did I overreact to my boyfriend touching another woman?
Q. Last night, my boyfriend and I went to a function at a bar where I didn't know anyone, but he knew a lot of the people. At one point, I came back from the bathroom and some girl he knows was sitting in my stool at the bar and they were talking. ...
A. 22 January 2012: It is very easy to feel insecure when you are the one who doesn't know anybody, and your partner knows lots of people. Every little thing can seem exaggerated to you. So it probably was innocent, but as you were already feeling a little excluded, ... (read in full...)
Do I have a right to get mad and/or jealous?
Q. Long story short, my boyfriend, who lives about an hour away, went to his schools winter formal. This morning, I see all these facebook posts about that night. It seemed like a lot of fun. Apparently he ground on some girl (he even said so in...
A. 22 January 2012: Doesn't sound like you were on his mind at the time, and certainly not being considered when he posted on Facebook. Sounds like very immature behaviour for one who is 'talking about marriage'. Maybe you should slow down on the talks about the ... (read in full...)
What is this older man thinking?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts. What conclusions can be made from this? I'd been seeing a 27 year old for a while. I had only just recently turned 18. I decided to take things veryy slowly with this man as I wasn't too happy with the age gap, but sadly began to f...
A. 22 January 2012: Chalk it up to experience, and just be glad that 'stupid' is all that you are feeling. It could have been much worse. Don't try to figure him out, just move on, quickly. And in the future, always trust you gut instinct, you felt that the 'age ... (read in full...)
I feel as though she views me as Mr. Safety
Q. Hi! I have read your responses to other questions and was wondering if you could help me. I am with a girl who is perfect for me and who makes me feel like nothing else on earth. Things are going great. We have okay sex not mind blowing but as you ...
A. 8 January 2012: Glad you feel so bad about the snooping. It just never comes to a happy ending. Now, moving on from that, why shouldn't the sex be fantastic in a relationship. If it's 'right' it would be fantastic. Sex and intimacy go hand in hand in a ... (read in full...)
How do I help myself?. As I can't change him. Do alcoholics tend to avoid loved ones who are concerned about them and hang around with their "drinking buddies?
Q. I am positive my boyfriend is an alcoholic. I just put the pieces together and it all adds up every time he goes on these binges, I don't hear from him. I thought he didn't want me anymore but it wasn't that, I know he loves me. It is the drinking...
A. 8 January 2012: I'm afraid that you can't help your boyfriend, that's something only he can do with the help of professionals. You can be there for him and support him; if and when he chooses to get help. In Australia, there is a support network for families of ... (read in full...)
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