A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a recovering alcoholic and bullimic ( doing well now by the way) but it's hard work all the time.I've been seeing a man that I've known many years that isn't privy to my issues. We've been dating a little over a month and just started sleeping together. He holds all the reigns right now :( I have to try and play it cool because I dont want to pressure him into anything even though I know what I want.Lately I've been struggling with my recovery I think partly due to this and I worry I might need space from himQuestionShould I tell him the truth? About my issues? That I still adore him but can't see him right now till I'm stronger?I dont want to push him away. Will he freak out?Or think why is she telling me all this?Any ideas?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2012): Why don't you first find out where you stand before you get too disclosing with him? If he wants to be your boyfriend then, yeah, tell him. If he doesn't and is just having fun, then I wouldn't tell him anything.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (7 April 2012):
 I think it would be a good idea to talk to him about it, maybe he can give you the extra support you need.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2012): Original poster hereThanks for all the comments!!It's just that I might like him more then him me. He may not wantAnything serious and that's why I don't know if I shouldMention it
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A
male
reader, alphamalesyndrome +, writes (7 April 2012):
Yeah, I think you should tell him. If it was just a new person youve met, it wouldnt be their business; but you say that you've known him for years, so I'm sure he'll stick around
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (7 April 2012):
 Sure thing, you should tell him. You've known him for years, you're getting closer, so you must consider him your friend now. Give him the chance to truly know who your are. When you do tell him though, give him time and space to digest the information, then see what happens. He may be stronger than you think. And remember, if he can't cope with knowing the 'issues', then he won't have been able to understand you. Your life will, possibly, always be on the hard the side, so you will need to have understanding people in your life. So think about yourself, and what's best for you in all this too. All the best. xx
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (7 April 2012):
 HiYou have to do whats best for you AND your recovery is paramount . you need to be able to continue improving .if you've known him for years he must have some idea before he dated you that you had problems . Far from putting him off i think telling him would show that your strong enough to beat the addictions It IS a gamble whether he sticks around but you cant be in a relationship AND not share these doubts He could help AND support you when you have wobbles Only you know if you should tell him but if you say you want a break he may decide you dont care about him.Good luck xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2012): Why does he have the reigns, relationships should be equal both ways.
I think you should tell him, he should understand, you are recovering from a hard situation, and perhapes he can help you become stronger. If he doesnt, then he doesnt really care for you and your well being now does he.
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