A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have noticed a recurring theme regarding women in my life. i can attract them and keep them through manipulation, but if i try to act as though i really am, they become disinterested. so i must always play games. it becomes tiresome. also, whenever i meet a woman that i genuinely like, if i decide i am not going to base the relationship on manipulation and games, she doesn't go for it. then i'm kicking myself b/c i know, in the back of my mind, that i could have made it work through manipulation. it is an endless cycle of positive reinforcement for deceit and negative reinforcement for honesty. i guess i may be boring, but a great actor. how can i remedy this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (30 April 2012):
 You only attract the sort of woman that wants to be manipulated, because of what you are projecting. You should try being yourself all the time, get used to that, then see what turns up. Keeping up an act all the time is very tiring, and that will get boring. Relax, be patient, there will be someone who will be attracted to the 'real' you.
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