Is my husband being shady, buying a gift for a coworker?
Q. My husband recently bought a gift for a female coworker. I found text messages of him asking other people what this female coworker likes. When I saw the gift, I asked him, oh who is this for and he ignored my question and started talking about ...
A. 29 March 2018: I'd be bringing this subject up again, certainly. If it's all innocent, then there wouldn't be any reason for your husband to not give you details: What is the reason for the gift? A birthday gift, whatever the reason, why not talk about it? If he ... (read in full...)
I believe my friend is acting strangely after the death of an aquaintance She's acting as though she lost her best friend!
Q. I’m looking for some advice on a delicate matter. Recently, an acquaintance of mine passed away. She was a good friend of my sister but I only saw her a few times a year at occasions such as weddings or leaving parties, so we weren’t close al...
A. 25 March 2018: There must have been a large hole in your friends life and this is somehow filling it now. You are right that everyone touched by death is affected in different ways. I know when my husband's father passed away, I think I cried harder than anyone at ... (read in full...)
She wants me to prove to her that I want this relationship and help her not feel so alone!
Q. Been in a relationship for 8 years have a 10 year old step son who's dad was never really in the picture and we have a 3 year old boy together. When my youngest was born 3 years ago that's when everything changed. She said that I started to not care ...
A. 24 March 2018: Well it sounds to me as though your partner is communicating clearly to you want it is that she wants/needs from you. You talk about all these problems that she has; have you considered that possibly you have contributed to the changes in your ... (read in full...)
I don’t want to hurt this new man, and I also don’t want to wind up in a controlling relationship! Advice please!
Q. Hello, so I have two questions, both are related. First a bit of background, I was in a relationship with (and married to) a man who ended up being a narcissist and was abusive. (verbally, mentally, sometimes physically) We were together 7 and half...
A. 24 March 2018: Well done, you! You've been brave and shown that you can, and will, stand up for yourself. As WiseOwlE said, the guy is on 'probation', so you still need to be vigilant, and not let things slide. If the trust isn't there, you won't stand a chance.
T... (read in full...)
I don’t want to hurt this new man, and I also don’t want to wind up in a controlling relationship! Advice please!
Q. Hello, so I have two questions, both are related. First a bit of background, I was in a relationship with (and married to) a man who ended up being a narcissist and was abusive. (verbally, mentally, sometimes physically) We were together 7 and half...
A. 23 March 2018: Trust you instincts! You are terrified of being another controlling relationship - well that's where this one is heading. You should not have to be justifying or explaining yourself to this man. You sound disappointed about not taking your kids on a ... (read in full...)
My FWB wants a break and I don't know why.
Q. Hi, my friends with benefits recently told me he needs a break. Apparently he's mad at me because I called when his soon to be wife showed up at his house to discuss the divorce. I did't know she was there. We talk every day. We lived together...
A. 23 March 2018: I agree with aunt honesty, this is a confusing post. You lived with him for 13 years, and had an ugly breakup - so you were in a relationship with him. My understanding of FWB is that you are friends, and that you aren't in a relationship. However, ... (read in full...)
I have a luncheon with my husband's colleagues and I'm worried about making a good impression!
Q. I'm going to a luncheon tomorrow with colleagues and clients of my husband's. They are all very intelligent and I am nervous about attending. I want to make my husband proud and not embarass him or not be intelligent enough in their company. I am ...
A. 23 March 2018: First thing to remember is you're going to lunch, not a job interview. You are going there to socialise, so it should be an enjoyable occasion. Ask questions - people generally love to talk about themselves, so this then takes the focus of you. If ... (read in full...)
I feel its time to let go but my heart will be broken
Q. Hi I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. The first year was amazing . We got along really well. Both of us have children .My children are a lot younger than his. My youngest is four. My boyfriends kids are having a hard time with me ...
A. 18 March 2018: Make the break sooner rather than later - this doesn't sound like it's working for any of you. I believe the relief you'll feel once it's over, will outweigh any sense of a broken heart. Your children should be your first priority, any other ... (read in full...)
Should I wait to date until I’m completely over my ex? Or is it impossible to be completely over an ex so I might as well date?
Q. Hi I was dumped about six months (We dated for about a year and I genuinely believe we were in love) ago after we went travelling for a month and had lots of stressful arguements but a couple weeks later he told me he missed me and that he didn't ...
A. 8 March 2018: It's time to move on. Definitely start dating, you don't have to get serious. You are young and should be enjoying getting to know lots of different people. And I don't mean having sex with lots of different people. You'll know when you're ready to ... (read in full...)
How should I reply to his text?
Q. Hi Thank you for reading. I dated a guy for 7 months last year. He dumped me in late December, saying that he felt that our relationship wasn’t moving forward as quickly as he wanted. He wanted me to move in with him and I didn’t feel ready...
A. 4 March 2018: He definitely showed his true colours in your time of need. Well done on realising you've got plenty of true friends - and was it because of this guy that you'd not had much contact in the past year? He wasn't your friend when you needed him, so the ... (read in full...)
How do I overcome fear and learn to be happy?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out about 4 months. It's the first relationship I've been in with someone who really cares about me and wants a future with me after a bad run of picking the wrong guys. I've spoken to him about my fears before a...
A. 4 March 2018: It doesn't sound to me as though you're ready for a relationship. You are only going to push this guy away if you continue to go on about the past. If you don't have trust, how can you possibly relax and enjoy yourself. You should be having fun and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't reach climax like he used to
Q. I am in a relationship with a age gap. I'm 29 and he is 47. We have a 5 year old together. Our relationship and sex life have always been great. But the last while he isn't reaching climax all the time. We have sex almost every night. Sometime...
A. 4 March 2018: If you continue with questioning him, you're only added pressure. Pressure, age, physical well-being, all add to one's ability to climax. Life is full of ups and downs - literally. Just relax and enjoy each other.
Take care xx
... (read in full...)
I regret not saying 'Good-Bye' to him
Q. This is a weird situation - but years ago I lived in London (late 80s/early 90s). I was in my late teens and very emotionally immature at the time as I had never been in a relationship before. One evening at a gig I met a nice blond guy called ...
A. 4 March 2018: Please don't linger and dwell over the past - you're likely to miss a golden opportunity in the present. If you're always looking behind you, you cannot see what is directly in front of you. I firmly believe if it was meant to be...
Take care xxx ... (read in full...)
I regret not saying 'Good-Bye' to him
Q. This is a weird situation - but years ago I lived in London (late 80s/early 90s). I was in my late teens and very emotionally immature at the time as I had never been in a relationship before. One evening at a gig I met a nice blond guy called ...
A. 4 March 2018: Please don't linger and dwell over the past - you're likely to miss a golden opportunity in the present. If you're always looking behind you, you cannot see what is directly in front of you. I firmly believe if it was meant to be...
Take care xxx ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure what to think about this Tarot reading.
Q. Do you believe in tarot/card reading? Do anyone here has experience in that? Yesterday i went to a famous tarot card reader with my friend. She is 86 years old and been reading for 55 years. She asked me about our name, address, and birth date. ...
A. 1 March 2018: I don't believe in fortune tellers & tarot cards, I'm afraid. The lady obviously asked you enough questions to gauge what issues you had in your life. You might not think that you'd given her much information, but if she's been 'reading' people for ... (read in full...)
Too invested after a few dates?
Q. I’ve been on five dates with a guy. We slept together on three of the dates. We definitely fancied each other, but during date number four he said that his long term goal is to work away. I’ve been in a relationship in the past with someone who ...
A. 18 February 2018: Clever girl! Honesty is always the best policy. And you've both made a mature decision. I totally agree with the others on the 'friendship' - not a good idea. Keeps looking for what's going to make you happy.
Take care xx
... (read in full...)
I love him, but his deception can’t go on!
Q. Hi Aunts! I'm 29 years old and in an alleged relationship with a married man for the last one and a half year. It wasn't intended to happen cause we were only friends, but developed nonetheless. At first, he kept his marital status a secret from me....
A. 18 February 2018: You say you love him, but you obviously didn't know the real him. So knowing that, you should thank you're lucky stars that you're not his wife and move on. And even if he did leave his wife now, how could you ever trust the man?
Tell yourself that... (read in full...)
My husband is my mother’s suspect because he’s a recovering addict!
Q. My husband is a recovering addict. We live with my family at the moment and yesterday my mom wanted me to check the pockets of my husbands jeans because she found that she’s missing 4 pills. This is the 3rd time in the past couple months that she...
A. 18 February 2018: You are very young to have to be dealing with issues such as this. I really feel for you. My first piece of advice: Have your mother lock up her medications. Then temptation is out of the way.
Secondly, your relationship won't last if there isn'... (read in full...)
I've fallen for my friend's ex! What should I do?
Q. I have fallen in love with my friend's ex. What should I do? I have been crushing on him for just over a year now and can't stop thinking about him, they broke up about 2 and a half years ago and she is in a relationship with this new guy who she ...
A. 6 January 2017: You could ask your friend what she thinks. Ask for her advise, that will give you an idea about how she would feel about you asking her ex out.... (read in full...)
I'm looking for feedback on my decision to break up with my boyfriend!
Q. Hello Everyone! I am truly at a crossroads in my life. I am 20, about to turn 21, graduating an entire year early from a pretty rigorous liberal arts college. Back in October I broke up with my 3-year, mainly long distance boyfriend, whom ...
A. 6 January 2017: Don't hang onto a relationship just in case. Leave it be, and if he seeks you out eventually, you could see how it goes. But really, it sounds to me as though you've moved on already.... (read in full...)
My life looks pretty discouraging!
Q. I have just turned 30, and that has caused me to evaluate what I should or should not have acquired/achieved by this age. And my self analysis looks pretty discouraging: Dead-end part-time job with no health benefits ,and no PTO I have just gradu...
A. 6 January 2017: Are you looking for work related to your degree? You should be proud of yourself for achieving that, by the way. You have a boyfriend that is happy to support you - why can't you view that as a positive thing in your life? Have you told him that ... (read in full...)
I just broke up with my BF and I am upset. Any advice. please?
Q. I told my boyfriend of almost 7 months that I loved him. He didn't say it back. I asked him why and he said he just doesn't feel that way. And that when he feels it he will let me know. He had a very nice ex girlfriend for two years and he sai...
A. 30 December 2016: On the one hand, I think you where a bit harsh with saying you felt like 'some type of prostitute' because he said he didn't love you. Then on the other, maybe you've dodged a bullet there, if he has anger issues on a scale bad enough to lose a job. ... (read in full...)
He is two different boyfriends in one. Mr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. He's making me feel scared. what should I do?
Q. MODNOTE FREE UK resources added by the Moderator: http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/if-you-are-a-woman-experiencing-domestic-violence.aspx Phone 0808 2000 247 in UK and http://www.refuge.org.uk/what-we-do/our-services/helpline/ ...
A. 30 December 2016: This not your fault. He has problems, big problems, and you will never be able to help him. He will only ever hurt you. And you will never change him. You must walk away now, and be grateful that you have not had a child with him. To start believing ... (read in full...)
Does a bruise on my boyfriend's stomach mean he is cheating?
Q. My boyfriend came home with a noticeable bruise to the right of his belly button last night and this concerns me. We have had rough sex many times but not recently. I asked him where he got it and he said he has no idea and just noticed it himself ...
A. 30 December 2016: Does he have a history of cheating? Or is this just coming form your insecurities? ... (read in full...)
A friend has a crush on a guy. I would like to see them become a couple. Or should I help her to get over him?
Q. Hi, My problem is that my best friend is obsessed with her crush and I am obsessed with getting them together. All we both do is talk about this GUY. My friend's obsession is quite understandable because she had a breakup and was very dep...
A. 30 December 2016: The best way to break a habit is to create a new one. Find a new interest - preferably not boy orientated - and get involved. Distraction to start with, then hopefully both your minds will be filled with new adventures. Join both of you up for a ... (read in full...)
Why is this happening? He has no time for me. I am fed up and ready to just walk away!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for four years now we have three girls together and now we are having problems because he doesn't involve me in any part of his life what so ever. He doesn't invite me out anywhere when he goes out with his...
A. 30 December 2016: Three children in four years, and you're both so young - maybe he's not coping and shutting you out is the only way he can deal with the situation. Do you have a relationship with anyone in his family who can help you try to get him to sit down and ... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to have conversations with people?
Q. HELP! I get so anxious whenever someone starts a conversation with me. Being around people I am totally fine with and I can handle a little bit of a small conversation, but I have issues keeping the ball rolling and I freak out whenever I shoul...
A. 18 November 2016: Have a list of questions that you've already prepared. People generally love to talk about themselves, so asking a person a question will get the ball rolling. You've got to have backup questions to keep the conversation on the move. For instance ... (read in full...)
I told him that I thought his kids were sabotaging our relationship and now he won't talk to me
Q. Hi, I'd been dating this guy for 3months. At first we would go on dates about 3 times a week, then it cut down to once or twice a week and thereafter we'd only get to seeing each other once a month. I thought his kids had something to do with this ...
A. 19 October 2016: Consider this a lesson learnt, and move on. If there's a next time for dating a man with children - DO NOT EVER BLAME THE CHILDREN. You cannot ever say anything negative about another person's children, regardless of how strongly you feel the need ... (read in full...)
Its been 18 months since my husband passed away, is it too soon to start dating?
Q. I started dating my husband when I was 16, we dated for 8 years and were married for 10 and had three children together. In April 2015 he was killed in a car accident then he hit a moose. It turned my life upside down. He was the only guy I ever ...
A. 28 September 2016: You didn't plan the death of your husband, and you didn't plan on meeting this new man at this time in your life. Life is what's happening, and there isn't a schedule to follow. Your priorities are to your children and to yourself. Your family will ... (read in full...)
Considering my reasons for going in, my boyfriends comment, my age and his age and our desire to have kids, is it too late to join the military?
Q. For some time now, it has been a dream of mine to join the military. I was in ROTC for a bit in college but to be honest, did not succeed very well. I got out after a year but then after graduating with my degree about 2.5 years ago, I got the same ...
A. 28 September 2016: If your boyfriend believes that you're joining for the wrong reasons, maybe this is something that you should explore first. You could talk this over with the recruitment office, you'd not be under any obligation at that early stage. You don't want ... (read in full...)
Should I act now? I don't want things to go too far, but I like my tutor and I think he likes me. What should I do...?
Q. I'm a 24 year old girl who just started college 6 months ago. For the last 3 months I've been getting help from a tutor in a class that I had trouble keeping up in. The tutors at my college are students that have shown excellence in their past mon...
A. 28 September 2016: As neither of us has a crystal ball to see into the future (I assume you don't), we won't worry about that for now. As he is also a student, I can't see any issue with dating him. If you're getting a hint of interest from him, why not ask him for a ... (read in full...)
She confessed to cheating just 2 weeks into our LDR, I’d love to resolve this but don’t know what she’s thinking! Any advice appreciated!
Q. Hello, today im requesting a bit of relationship advice Me and my girl met a while ago and remained freinds but this year we got a lot closer and started going out for a month, just before the month was up i had to leave and go overseas for wor...
A. 26 September 2016: You won't know what she's thinking until you've asked. Make a date, say you've got things to say, and questions to ask. You need to know where you stand. Honest and open communication is the only way forward. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I found oral contraceptives and condoms in my boyfriend's room. What should I do?
Q. I found used oral contraceptive in my boyfriend room which I didn't use and also found 3 condoms under his pillow I asked him and he said he just bought it. Please what should I do ...
A. 26 September 2016: I'd be getting out of this relationship. If these contraceptives aren't yours, and your boyfriend doesn't normally use condoms with you, I wouldn't even bother waiting for whatever explanation he giving - RUN!... (read in full...)
Is it possible that there actually isn't anyone out there for you?
Q. Is it possible that there actually isn't anyone out there for you? I can't imagine finding anyone who suits my needs, I rarely see anyone who I would like to date. There must come a time when you finally meet someone who is trustworthy and ...
A. 25 September 2016: When you come to a stage in your life where you are totally content with yourself, and realise that you don't actually need someone, that'll be the magic moment when a trustworthy and loyal man will appear in your life . Someone who will not be ... (read in full...)
Why would my Bf's penis go limp after foreplay? Does it suggest that he's cheated on me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He is 63. I am 45. He is not married. Neither am I. Just to clarify. We are good friends. Our sexual relationship has always been quite wonderful too. And for a man in his 60's, my boy...
A. 22 September 2016: They way you talk, I get the impression this is purely a physical relationship for you. You don't sound at all concerned for this man's well fair. He could be going through any number of situations. He could have had a health scare and not want to ... (read in full...)
Why would my Bf's penis go limp after foreplay? Does it suggest that he's cheated on me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He is 63. I am 45. He is not married. Neither am I. Just to clarify. We are good friends. Our sexual relationship has always been quite wonderful too. And for a man in his 60's, my boy...
A. 22 September 2016: They way you talk, I get the impression this is purely a physical relationship for you. You don't sound at all concerned for this man's well fair. He could be going through any number of situations. He could have had a health scare and not want to ... (read in full...)
How can I introduce the topic of budgeting to my Bf and tips on living with and coping with a budget ?
Q. Hi I came across this page and hoped someone may be able to help me. I'm going to give a bit of background as it may help with your advice. I've just returned from traveling with my long term boyfriend of 8 years. We were gone for 18 month...
A. 22 September 2016: How are your creative skills? You could write a poem telling him how you feel about him. Or a song. What about a photo collage of your travels together. If you're not residing in the same house, why not write him a love letter every night, then post ... (read in full...)
Will he come crawling back again, soon, to me?
Q. Hi I have gone my separate ways from my on off boyfriend again. We don't live together, and he has recently started back to college as a mature student and he told me hes very stressed out and has loads going on around his head and has family i...
A. 22 September 2016: I totally agree with CinyCares, things are never going to change. You sleeping with someone else, and not enjoying it, is not a true test to your love for your on/off boyfriend. Jumping into bed with someone else isn't going to help you move on. ... (read in full...)
I can't get over him (he seems interested too). But he's in a long distance relationship!
Q. (Sorry for the very very lengthy explanation, there is a quick summary at the end if you want to skip the novella) A while back a guy started in my office and I was immediately interested. We started as friends but I knew he'd never like me ...
A. 22 September 2016: Dear ScarletPenny, I think you should start being yourself again. Playing games will never end well. Before he leaves for the four months, let him know your true feelings, all you risk loosing is a little pride if you are rejected. He sounds like he ... (read in full...)
I want love. But my mother is nagging me to get married asap. Is what I want too much to ask for?
Q. I'm 26 and single. My mom has been constantly telling me to just find someone and get married. As long as he's nice and I can tolerate him then that's good enough. Anyone would do. Anyone is better than no one. I'm 26, it's time, soon it'll be to...
A. 3 February 2013: You are old enough to stop listening to your mother. People find love at all different ages, at varying times in their lives. You might find love tomorrow, but then you may not until you are in you forties. Who knows! What your mother is saying ... (read in full...)
Dating for one month so far. I feel as if I'm not good enough when I'm trying to pleasure him. What could be the problem?
Q. I've been dating this guy for almost a month now. Let's call him X. He's 39. I'm 22. I'm still a virgin and he's not. We've already done sexual stuff and he knows what he's doing. I, on the other hand, have not been able to get him off. I feel ...
A. 3 February 2013: If he wasn't happy to be with you - as things are right now - I'm sure that he would have moved on by now. He is probably understanding of your inexperience, give it time.... (read in full...)
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