A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help - I think I'm turning into a bunny boiler!! How do I reverse this and make people trust me again?Without going into too much details - I was dumped by my ex, blocked and given no explanation. He wouldn't answer my calls or explain what I'd done wrong.Since then, I tried one or two things to get in touch with him to chat and even his new gf was involved in the crossfire - but I just think they probably see me as a permanent pain or bunny boiler.I'm not a bb honestly - I just want to explain things and move on. But will he ever trust me again? How should I move on??
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 March 2016):
 Why is it so hard for you to accept that mistakes do have consequences ? and that some times there is no way to repair them, so you just leave things as they are, learn from the experience and do better next time , end of story ?
You did mismanage this break up, and it does not matter if you had your own reasons ( everybody has reasons for what they do ! )- you still screwed up, and if you are, as I think,the poster who sent nasty anonymous messages but got found out, yes you did come off as a stalker, i.e. you crossed a line that should not have been crossed, and now, logically, they are not interested in your explanations or justifications, they do not care about the hows and whys, they are fed up and they just want you gone.
Let it go ! This is an EX, he has a new partner, and they both have signaled that they are definitely not willing to " stay friends " ( which is a silly idea anyhow, in general, IMHO ). So, they are out of your life. Then, why should you care if they trust you or mistrust you or what not ?- You won't be in relationship with this people anymore, you are out of each other 's social landscape. Game over. The end.
As soon as you stop resisting this fact, you will find moving on much easier and natural.
A
female
reader, wrathykins  +, writes (26 March 2016):
 Well first of all you need to accept that it's over. He has a new girlfriend.
The fact he didn't give you a type of explanation is hard, because sometimes we need these answers to move on, but if he's blocked and deleted you what other choice do you have?
Honeypie has hit the nail on the head. Delete, block and move on!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2016): OP speaking. Thanks Femmenoir & Honey pie. As regards the others - he was seeing someone else when we were on a break & I found out about it - - so there was no big reason to block me, apart from wanting to get rid & following his own desires.
I guess I will just have to learn from it.
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (26 March 2016):
 This is where you have to be logical, sensible, true to yourself and honest about this entire situation.
Your ex doesn't see it necesaary to explain anything to you, nor talk to you, or have anything to do with you and that's his absolute right, especially if you did something which hurt and/or offended him greatly.
I believe if a man leaves a woman and in such a way as yours, then it's best to let it go and to not nag, nor push any further.
He clearly has no interest in you whatsoever and only you know what happened between the two of you, however, he wanted to get away from you and the entire situation and he will not ever trust you again, so move forward without him.
It's only YOU who will suffer greatly, if you don't let go and move on with your life.
You need to find your own closure and make peace with yourself and this can happen by way of remembering what occurred, by accepting it and by learning from it.
Do what's right for you now, because he is not coming back and besides that, he has a new gf.
All the best!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (26 March 2016):
 Does the one or two things you've tried include sending nasty, anonymous messages?
If then people you want to trust you again are your ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend I think you need to accept that is not going to happen.
You also need to accept he isn't interested in your explanation, your continuing bad behaviour is explanation enough.
The longer you continue on your current path of self destruct the harder it will be for you to accept your role in this situation and the less people will want to be around you, this includes current friends and future potential partners.
You are faced with a choice, let it drop or continue as you are, becoming more and more psycho and so less desirable for other people to be around.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 March 2016):
 Does it REALLY matter if he will ever trust you again? He dumped you with no reason and totally unceremoniously. I don't see why you owe HIM anything, least of all your trust.
He couldn't be bothered to explain things to you so why do you feel you OWE him an explanation?
I think it's pretty obviously that you wanted to know why he dumped you and it's pretty obvious that he doesn't care or want to give you one.
I'd block, delete, remove, unfriend and all that jazz him AND his new GF from everything and let it go.
You CAN move on without knowing why he dumped you. If you CHOOSE to move on, by accepting he isn't worth a pot to pee in.
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