Am I too old at 54 to meet any men who will want anything more than sex?
Q. I’m recently dating after a divorce . He was interested in much younger women all the time we were together and had now found one and is happy . I took quite a while on my own and felt I’d really like to meet someone special one day. However I’m ...
A. 10 October 2019:
While I don't see making this thread political (that won't help the OP get useful advice) I think you, "ANON female feminist" need to pipe down with the political rhetoric and ANSWER with a USEFUL answer (if you have one) with ACTUAL advice for ... (read in full...)
I jumped in too fast with a not yet divorced man and decided to cool things. Did I make the right choice?
Q. Woe is me ...not really but kind of- I met an amazing guy about 3 weeks ago while I was visiting family. I used to live in this city and I often consider relocating back so that isn't an issue. He and I hit it off well because we both are sober a...
A. 8 October 2019: I think slowing down is the right thing.
1. HE is still married, legally.
2. HE is still living with his wife and kids, doesn't matter WHERE in the house.
3. He lives in a different city, thinking about relocating for a man after 3 weeks ... (read in full...)
Is it ever OK to meet an online contact for sex?
Q. Is it ever Ok to meet an online date for a hook up? I am not looking for anything serious but have been online dating for about 6 months. This one guy who favourited me and I was messaging gave me his whatsapp and keeps asking me to come over being ...
A. 8 October 2019: Meet up first in a public space. DO NOT get in a car with him to go to his place.
While I think there are a lot of "just horny" people out there, who can really tell a sicko/psycho from a casual hook up? I get it, you can meet one of those in... (read in full...)
If a man is married or in long-term relationship, is it ever appropriate to have female friends? If so, what are the guidelines?
Q. Hi, I recently posted a question about my relationship with a woman, S, whom I have been meeting with while I have been in a long-term relationship with T. Here is the post: http://www.dearcupid.o...
A. 7 October 2019: Hypothetically, OF COURSE a married person (on someone in a long term relationship can have friendships with the opposite sex.
Having a partner doesn't mean you can't have friends anymore.
BUT there is a HUGE difference in a FRIEND and someo... (read in full...)
My girlfriend isnt bother by people invading her personal space.
Q. My girlfriend seems to not be bothered by people getting too close up in her personal space . When she looking for things or working she doesn't seem phase by people squeezing through her or their body brushing up against hers without even flinching ...
A. 7 October 2019: I don't think anyone on her lacks empathy but you DO think YOU need to fix this issue FOR her, even if SHE doesn't see it as a problem.
YOU have already talked to her and she shrugged it off so what else is there really to do? You either accept i... (read in full...)
Am I in an emotionally abusive relationship?
Q. Hello, sorry for the essay in advance! So I am engaged to a man I have been with for 2 years. For context sake he is 12 years my senior, hasn't had a girlfriend in 10 yrs, is known to his friends being laid back and kind, and his father was not v...
A. 6 October 2019: While I think abuse gets tossed around a lot these days for ANYTHING, I DO agree with your therapist that this IS abusive behavior.
He seems to always "be right", wanting full control over everything including you and IF you do something HE hasn'... (read in full...)
I was goingto press charges against my ex, but now I am having second thoughts. How do I move forward?
Q. I dated this guy for about 10 years and I thought he was a nice guy until recently. I realize he is a liar and just toxic. I waited for about 3 years to gather enough information on him to press charges. Now that the time is here I am having a hard ...
A. 6 October 2019: Press charges for what?
I'd say talk to a lawyer, he/she can advice you MUCH better than any of us.... (read in full...)
How do I handle my girlfriend's crazy accusations against me?
Q. My girlfriend nearly every day accuses me of “changing/ switching” places with “imaginary” friends of mine that look just like me. This of course is not happening at all and I am beginning to lose my patience with her false accusations. She wi...
A. 6 October 2019: Um, end it?
She sounds unhinged. What exactly are you getting out of this relationship?
It sounds toxic!... (read in full...)
Why does my friend get upset when I call him "buddy"?
Q. The other day I called my guy friend, “buddy”. He did not take this well and said not to call him that. But we have been friends for years. Why is this such a problem? ...
A. 6 October 2019: OK, so don't call him Buddy.
If you REALLY want to know WHY, ask him.
He might find it patronizing, he might not WANT to be "just friends", he might hate that word... who knows? (well, HE knows) so you should have ASKED him when HE brought ... (read in full...)
My bf has become emotionally distant, and I don't know what to do!
Q. Hello all. I've been with a guy for a year now - he's nearly 38 and i'm 30. I have a three year old little boy and he is fantastic with him.= - he doesn't have kids and has never been married etc. He was very complimentary at the beginning but told ...
A. 6 October 2019: Why are you so desperate to fit this square peg (him) into a round hole?
He is NOT what you want in a partner, AT all. You "tell him" what you want/need but HE isn't able to GIVE you that or he is unwilling. Either way, HE sin't what you WANT in ... (read in full...)
Am I too old at 54 to meet any men who will want anything more than sex?
Q. I’m recently dating after a divorce . He was interested in much younger women all the time we were together and had now found one and is happy . I took quite a while on my own and felt I’d really like to meet someone special one day. However I’m ...
A. 6 October 2019: I can't see WHY you can't find someone at 54. Plenty of people over 30 find partners.
I do think the "pool" from which you can choose is smaller and you have to weed out all the toads.
If a guy brings up that he is talking to a "hot 35 year old... (read in full...)
How do I handle my frustration over my friendship with my ex?
Q. My partner and I were together for 6 years we aren't together anymore but remain close friends and still very much in one another's lives. When we were together she let me down a lot, she would lie, she cheated once, she would disappoint me as she ...
A. 6 October 2019: I think you both need to accept that it DIN'T work out and let each other go.
I get that you were with each other for a long time, but that doens't mean you need to try and stay in each other;s lives.
You can still VALUE her as a person, but ke... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went on a business trip and ghosted
Q. My boyfriend of four months left for a business trip to another state on Sunday. Everything was normal and he said he couldn't wait to see me this weekend. We usually communicate daily. However, he hasn't reached out once and all of my texts and ...
A. 5 October 2019: Do you show up at his house? And do what? Stand there tapping your foot with a rolling pin under your arm? Waiting for an explanation?
No.
You DECIDE all on your OWN if you will ACCEPT this or not. If this is a DEAL BREAKER for you, you BLOCK, ... (read in full...)
.is this normal for couples after being together for 8 years?
Q. My girlfriend and I split up 9 months ago but remained friends. Our friendship was a little odd, we had sex a couple of times at the beginning, we still held hands, cuddled but didn't spend as much time together. We would then go a period of ...
A. 5 October 2019: I think it's kinda "normal" (each relationship is different though).
But for people who aren't WILLING to totally let go of a partner, either because they are SCARED they won't FIND anyone else or ALL the work it takes to build a new relation... (read in full...)
My live in lover found out that I am not divorced like I said I was
Q. Hello, I am almost 30 yrs old and have made the worst mistake. I had bn living contently in a broken marriage for 5yrs hurting everyday from what my spouse put me through. Finally i decided i deserved happiness and took matters into my own hands. I ...
A. 4 October 2019: You should work on that divorce and some self-reliance.
Your HUSBAND whom you don't want to be with, shouldn't TAKE care of your financially. Unless we take child-support or short term alimony. He isn't RESPONSIBLE for you having a minimum ... (read in full...)
I can't get third dates - Am I doing something wrong?
Q. I feel very discouraged from online dating. I have high self-esteem, and try to be open-minded while sticking to my values and boundaries. I look like my online photos. In fact, one guy i went on a date with commented that it was refreshing t...
A. 4 October 2019: The guys you go on dates with have ALWAYS been the one to initiate? (as in THEY pick you, you say yes - or no?)
If so, maybe YOU should try and see what is out there and MAKE the initial pick.
Guys who ask you out, MAY not be looking for long... (read in full...)
My partner is constantly questioning the food bill. Why do I have to always explain?
Q. Just moved in with my boyfriend, been together three years and he questions constantly the cost of the food bill. He gave me half towards the rent etc this month and £100 extra for the food bill and said that would cover his half for the whole ...
A. 3 October 2019:
KEEP receipts for a months (ALL of them) that you spend on food for the two of you.
Then, sit down with him and make a budget.
Now I know 1 month's receipts doesn't quite show the costs but it will give you BOTH a general idea.
An... (read in full...)
My life is a disappointment and is nothing like how I wish it was
Q. Hi everyone. This is more of a life question than relationship question and I know this is not the place to ask but it’s been on my mind ALOT and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Here goes...when are we deemed too old to get married? To have...
A. 3 October 2019: Comfort eating is a bad habit, and not all that uncommon. I myself LOVE good food and it took me YEARS to be good at portion control after I had knee surgery and was unable to run as I used to. And bike riding. Those two things helped me lose the ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessing so much over my crush after a drunken kiss, but he's avoiding me and it's driving me insane.
Q. Hi there. I'm feeling really desperate for help at the moment. I haven't eaten or been able to think straight for days. I wish I could control my feelings for this guy, but right now I can't stop it. I know its silly and I wish I could get a grip of ...
A. 3 October 2019: Yes, it sounds like he is JUST not that into you.
When you are around and there is no one else to flirt with or hook up with, YOU will do.
I mean WHAT kind of guy (or girl) will flirt with someone and when it's reciprocated they go off with... (read in full...)
My life is a disappointment and is nothing like how I wish it was
Q. Hi everyone. This is more of a life question than relationship question and I know this is not the place to ask but it’s been on my mind ALOT and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Here goes...when are we deemed too old to get married? To have...
A. 2 October 2019: Wow, this is so sad to read.
No, you are NOT too old for marriage EVER. MY uncle married at age 71 for the 7th time! He ISN'T giving up, so why are you?
There are no EXPIRATION date on getting married.
There ARE an expiration date on being... (read in full...)
How do I cope with seeing him only once in awhile for 12 or more months?
Q. Recently my fiancé and relocated down south to North England, we're originally from Scotland. He moved down for his career and I followed him, because I love him. However, I hate it here. It's been five months, and I know that's not a very long ...
A. 2 October 2019: Honestly, OP?
I would tough it out for that year. I don't know if you have a job, if not, find one. OR sign up for some classes to improve on your career. I would also try and make some new friend, possible from you own "neck of the woods" s... (read in full...)
My boyfriend follows a LOT of women on Instagram and it bothers me
Q. My boyfriend and I met through an online dating app. We chatted a bit and then he asked for my Instagram handle. I thought that was weird and gave him my number instead. We had a bit more text conversation getting to know one another, and then he ...
A. 2 October 2019: For me, (and I could be wrong here) when you hear about a guy who follows a LOT of "Instagram models" it seems like he is looking to see what's out there, what "options" they have OR... simply to have a less "pornographic" spank bank with plenty of ... (read in full...)
Its been 5 days since our fight on the phone and he hasn't reached out to me
Q. I need help here please. I met a guy and we was speaking on the phone every day and things was going fine. I only been talking to him for 2 weeks because that's how long it's been since we been talking. I really like him. He said he like talking ...
A. 1 October 2019: He is punishing you with silence. You didn't want to send him photos on demand (which is REASONABLE of you) so he got pissy. YOU do not owe him ANY pictures.
BUT he is also doing as YOU requested, NOT contacting you.
It's been ONLY two weeks a... (read in full...)
My sister is never there for me yet always expects me to be there for her
Q. The last few days I haven't felt well so I had to go to hospital last night. Just before my sister had called and said that I'm not my usual happy self and all I've done is complain about my health for two weeks. I corrected her and said it had been ...
A. 1 October 2019: Give as good as you get?
If SHE tells you YOU can't "whine" to her, well neither can she! I would find a good "reason" to end a conversation if she goes on and on and on about negative stuff, or change the subject, or simple respond HOW she resp... (read in full...)
How do I set boundaries with family and long-term friends?
Q. Hi guys, For years I haven’t been really satisfied with the relationships I’ve had with some people. I had very low self-esteem and have learned certain behaviors as a child that led me to letting some people treat me with less respect than I d...
A. 1 October 2019: What you are asking is HOW do I change other people in how they act with me.
The fast answer is YOU can't.
The answer is YOU need to be the one making changes. Like your therapist said, YOU need to change HOW YOU react when they do things y... (read in full...)
My ex has my stuff. How long do I wait to contact him?
Q. Dear cupid.. my ex and were together for 2 years. He broke up with me and then slowly crept back into my life then I cought him perusing a relationship with another woman whiles telling me sweet nothings. Well when I found out I cut him loose I ...
A. 1 October 2019: Have a friend come with you to pick it up. That way he can't sweet-talk you so easily.
JUST e-mail him and tell him to give you a few dates and times that will suit him for you to come pick them up.
Yes, it still hurt, that is live. You will g... (read in full...)
Is this married man hinting for me to sleep with him?
Q. Is it flirty for a married men to remove his ring while he is speaking to a woman? And to twist and toy with his ring, removing it from his finger? Once he even switched it to a finger on the opposite hand...all while talking to me. How would I kn...
A. 30 September 2019: Why even ponder this? The guy is married!
I mean it's NOT exactly a subtle action to fiddle with your ring while flirting.
My guess he is testing your boundaries and person seeing how "easy" you are.
You that desperate for a roll in ... (read in full...)
Does he love me and want to express it this way, or is he just trying to get what he wants?
Q. I told my long term boyfriend that I was getting my IUD taken out. I said to him that he would need to start wearing condoms. He said “no I don’t pull”. We have one child together already that was unplanned. He has not proposed but has no problem if ...
A. 30 September 2019: Sounds more like he just rather knock you up then use condoms, which I think is just plain odd.
If you are OK with "giving" him MORE kids outside of marriage, then why are you wondering what is up with him?
Do YOU want more kids? If not, th... (read in full...)
How do men feel about establishing exclusivity before sex?
Q. How do men feel about establishing exclusivity before sex? Ideally, I prefer to only have sex with men I'm committed with, but I know that realistically both partners should know if they are sexually compatible before committing. Is it reasonable to ...
A. 29 September 2019: Maybe you just need to SET it as your standard and stick to it. IF some men can't agree to it, that is OK, but it just means they aren't for you.
I really don't think it's too much to ask. Just like I don't think it's too much to ask for MUTUAL S... (read in full...)
How do I tell my girlfriend, "sorry, my life has been a lie, I'm gay and a cross dresser"?
Q. I'm gay and I don't know how to tell my partner or even how to live as a gay man. I've been attracted to other men for as long as I can remember, but I've only dated women, or had relationships with women. At first I told myself I must be bisexual...
A. 29 September 2019: I'd end it. And I'd tell her that you have come to the realization that you need to be true to yourself and that is being a gay man.
It's UNFAIR to use her as your "nice straight-man facade". She doesn't deserve that. You know this.
While I... (read in full...)
Girlfriend hangs out with male friend and and don’t tell me
Q. My girlfriend soon to be finance chills with my best friend but i didn’t know about it . We broke up for like 2 days then she goes drunk and she tells me her sister went with her but i can’t ask her sister about it because her sister will lie for ...
A. 29 September 2019: Maybe you should hold off on proposing?
At least until this is sorted out. Or until YOU decide whether or not you want to be with someone you obviously don't trust.
And what about your friend? Why hasn't HE told you, if it's all so innocent?... (read in full...)
Does he like me more than he is letting on?
Q. I was hooking up with this guy for 5 months literally every weekend. Met his family, his closest friends, stayed over every weekend, etc. I fell pretty hard and told him I wanted more and thought a relationship was worth exploring. His response was ...
A. 29 September 2019: This is NEVER going to turn into a relationship. THAT is something YOU have to accept.
IF you want to be his F-buddy, be ONE among SEVERAL casual hook up partner, then you NEED to get a hold of your feelings. HE has already told you HE isn't lo... (read in full...)
Help me find peace living with my nagging mom
Q. My mom brings out the worst in me. She complains about Everything from doing her own laundry, cleaning her own house and overworking herself even when she is not in good condition, making her condition worse. I was recently left by my fiance who is ...
A. 29 September 2019: Good luck , OP
I think you will do good for yourself and your son, as you seem to think about what YOU can do to keep it civil with you mom.
As to anon male who claims I ALWAYS jump to advising people to break up... no, not always but in ge... (read in full...)
At the start of our relationship, he was talking to his ex and other girls!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost a year now, but I'm only just finding out that, during the start of our relationship, he was still talking to his ex and possbily other girls. I was smitten with him. He was deployed (he's in the arm...
A. 28 September 2019: The most important question is this,
IS HE still talking to them?
If not, you NEED to let that shit go. Tehre is no NEED for you to carry around hurt from WAY back when.
BUT DO have a conversation about what boundaries you think there should B... (read in full...)
My girlfriend isnt bother by people invading her personal space.
Q. My girlfriend seems to not be bothered by people getting too close up in her personal space . When she looking for things or working she doesn't seem phase by people squeezing through her or their body brushing up against hers without even flinching ...
A. 28 September 2019: I have to say, this is YOUR issue 100%. I'm completely with WiseOwlE on that.
She don't GIVE a flying fart about HER personal space. IT IS after all HER personal space. (or lack there off)
So my advice would be this, get over it or end it wit... (read in full...)
I'm so relieved he dumped me, but I do feel dirty and gross.
Q. I'm 14 years old and was just dumped by my first boyfriend. I am not sad, I am relieved! Literally when we hung up, I said, "thank God that's finally over!" Having a boyfriend was not what I thought it would be.i thought I'd have a guaranteed dat...
A. 28 September 2019: Eh, honey... WE all make mistakes, THIS was one of yours (and yes you will make more, so learn to let go of regret, but at the same time TAKE responsibility for YOUR part in it and LEARN from it.)
So you said yes to dating a loser and it was a ba... (read in full...)
I’m married but crushing and it’s messing with my head!
Q. Just going to lay it out..I'm sure their are some that are going to say I'm a piece of crap for asking or thinking this, but it's just the shitty place I'm at in my head right now. I'm married, late 30's and have a few kids. Love my family , wife...
A. 27 September 2019: You ask why she could be leading you on...
For the SAME reason that YOU are doing this shit to yourself, your wife and your family. ATTENTION.
You don't NEED her approval of your level of attraction. You already have a wife. Maybe if you put... (read in full...)
Help me find peace living with my nagging mom
Q. My mom brings out the worst in me. She complains about Everything from doing her own laundry, cleaning her own house and overworking herself even when she is not in good condition, making her condition worse. I was recently left by my fiance who is ...
A. 27 September 2019: THIS is who she is (right now and has been for a while, I BET YOU she isn't happy with herself either, she knows she is failing her marriage, herself AND you.) She knows.
What she doesn't know is how to dig her way out of this funk. She is now i... (read in full...)
Does my manager still have feelings for me? Or is it all a game?
Q. Hey guys, So something has been bugging me lately. Also I don't want abuse from anyone - just advice. Last year I was struggling to cope with a personal issue and found comfort from my manager who is married. He used to text me asking if I was ...
A. 27 September 2019: You give yourself closure, OP
THAT is the gist of life. He doesn't OWE you closure (nor do I think he would actually give you closure as he is changing the narrative of what happened to MAKE him seem less "guilty".) He is full of shit.
He figu... (read in full...)
I want your opinions on how I handled this situation?
Q. Hello members of DC, I'm here to seek your opinion on the following. A bit of history - My ex husband and I have been separated for 9 years. Financially, my ex and I split our children's tuition and living expenses in half and we keep in contact ...
A. 27 September 2019: That teacher is nuts!
However, it's HER children, so in a sense HER responsibility. My guess is that she trusts your daughter to drive safely. WHAT she can't know... is ALL the other drivers out there and their abilities!
The teacher SHOULD h... (read in full...)
My best friend is having my boyfriend’s baby and I can’t deal with it!
Q. My best friend is having my boyfriend’s baby and I can’t deal with it. 7 months ago they slept together behind my back. He ended up making her pregnant as well. I’ve forgiven them both and am trying to move on and rebuild relationships wi...
A. 27 September 2019: OP, you are only 18-21.
You shouldn't HAVE to deal with this kind of drama in your life. However, it happened and you handled it well by forgiving them. FOR your sake, not theirs.
Forgetting it, you won't. Ever.
I seriously doubt that the... (read in full...)
Should I go on a date with him?
Q. I met a guy on Facebook a week a go. He messaged me first saying hi and I responded and we chatted for like an hour and told him I had to sleep to wake up early the next morning. He ask me for my number and I have it to him.the next day he texted me ...
A. 27 September 2019: I'm always a little wary of people who look for "dates" on Facebook. To me (and I might we alone in this) it feels a little like stalking your prey. Because they can find out a LOT about you (if you post a lot of PERSONAL stuff) and you don't know ... (read in full...)
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