Why is my ex giving me mixed signals?
Q. My ex messaged me 3 times this month. Him and have not spoken in months. The first, “ he asked if I had any plans for my birthday” A few days later, “Just Happy Birthday” A few days later again he said, “ I hope your taking care of yoursel...
A. 16 December 2019: If his e-mails go to spam, LEAVE them be. Spam is the "trash folder" anyways.
If you can set your e-mail up to delete spam after 3 days or 5.
Most people don't check their spam folder. So maybe you need to make an effort to stop doing that ... (read in full...)
If a man says degrading things to one woman or rapes a woman, do you think he thinks poorly of women in general?
Q. Before coming to college and then entering the “real world”, I never really encountered men who were rude, gross or overly forward with women. I guess they were all on their parents' leashes in high school. Anyway, I had one guy in particular text ...
A. 15 December 2019: No anon,
You misread me or misunderstood me,
Having sex doesn't mean you don't respect yourself, CHOOSING to have sex with a guy you think is a douche or piece of crap man, I think is disrespectful TO yourself.
Sex is fine.
And sure, it... (read in full...)
Help with two friendship situations please
Q. Dear all, I have two recurring situations and I seek your advice on it. I’m very sensitive to who are around me as friends and acquaintances, people who I think have questionable behavior or ethics (mean, rude, dismissive, arrogant, poor m...
A. 15 December 2019: Not really conflicting arguments, per se.
You are talking apples and oranges here. A) are acquaintances, strangers, coworkers, maybe even family and friends of friends. B) are people you want or have developed a relationship with.
Learning to c... (read in full...)
Does my FWB have feelings for me?
Q. I've been single for a little over 4 years now. My last relationship was one of the worst relationships I have ever been in, in my life. And that's why I'm still single. But I'm happy being single. Since I've been single I've had 3 friends with b...
A. 15 December 2019: Just because the sex is casual doesn't mean people don't want to FEEL like it MEANS something other than "just" "FWB".
Maybe he IS catching feelings, who knows? (besides him)
If you want more, maybe it would be an idea to ASK him and talk abo... (read in full...)
Why is my ex giving me mixed signals?
Q. My ex messaged me 3 times this month. Him and have not spoken in months. The first, “ he asked if I had any plans for my birthday” A few days later, “Just Happy Birthday” A few days later again he said, “ I hope your taking care of yoursel...
A. 15 December 2019: So if he is blocked... how does he message you?
I'd suggest you KEEP blocking him whenever he does find a "work-around" to your previous blocking and just keep doing so.
No, it's not fair that he keeps messaging you, but the thing is HE is t... (read in full...)
A co worker spoke about spanking. How do I bring up the subject again so I can ask about it?
Q. Hi everyone. My question is more to satisfy my curiosity than anything. I have been interested in spanking for as long as I can remember and although I'm not open with everyone about it, I have opened up to my last two partners. In a recent ...
A. 14 December 2019: Honestly?
If think you would probably get more info if you look for an online forum (and I BET you can find a lot of like minded people).
Now if you rather ask this coworker, then JUST tell her, you know you got me curious when you talked about... (read in full...)
Friend's emails are confusing and making me wonder if he's asking questions for himself or my estranged husband
Q. Ok everyone, I have just recently left my husband. No communication or anything I just changed my number because he was being very horrible to me. In the past he would sometimes get a friend of his to email me for him as my husband cannot w...
A. 14 December 2019: Yep, ignore the emails.
What good are they? What are you supposed to do with them? Change your mind? You have already told him what you are doing and what went down, you OWE this "friend" no explanations.
Finish the divorce, move on. Block t... (read in full...)
My ex is at college with me and he comes up and tries to start arguments with me. How should I act?
Q. Hello agony aunts. I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago, because we basically went through a lot of arguments the last couple of months. It's been a really stressful relationship and very toxic, and every time during a fight he would blame me for ...
A. 14 December 2019: Yep, you did the right thing.
He keep doing this to you because you allow it, you sit there and listen which gives him ample opportunity to keep belittling you and "proving" that he is "right".
He doesn't WANT to own his actions towards ... (read in full...)
My date made a remark that I'm wondering if its a red flag
Q. I've been on a date with a man, he had never been on a date or a relationship before (he's 24), and we brought up a topic about exe's and cheating. I was turned off when he told me that "A man cheats because his girlfriend/wife isn't providing him ...
A. 14 December 2019: I think WiseOwlE made a really valid point here;
"I think he made a deep observation about something he presumably knows nothing about."
Because that IS a pretty standard answer for someone who hasn't ever been cheated on or someone who IS/H... (read in full...)
If a man says degrading things to one woman or rapes a woman, do you think he thinks poorly of women in general?
Q. Before coming to college and then entering the “real world”, I never really encountered men who were rude, gross or overly forward with women. I guess they were all on their parents' leashes in high school. Anyway, I had one guy in particular text ...
A. 14 December 2019: Probably.
You don't have to respect women to want to marry and have kids.
Think about how many cultures that STILL doesn't see women as equals, is it that strange that something like that still exist? The fact that women are still WILLING to... (read in full...)
What's the best way to figure out what "league" I'm in, and what kind of men would be most attracted to me?
Q. I hate even wording a question that way and talking about leagues because it seems so juvenile, but I’m at the point (age 26) where I’m wondering what can of man I can get who will be willing to “settle down” at some point. My college was a mega ...
A. 14 December 2019: Maybe not settle for a "type" but rather go out and MEET more different people.
And maybe, do the "picking" not being "picked" if that makes sense. You might attract a certain "type" but you don't HAVE to only go out with that "type".
I think... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a married woman we had a spat and I fear things will never go back to how they were
Q. I am helplessly in love with a married woman. We were good friends for a long time and then, during the breakdown of my long-term relationship, I turned to her for support. There was no affair, but I was overly attentive, and she lapped it up. We ...
A. 13 December 2019: If you want friendships, make them with other men or SINGLE women you ARE not romantically interested in.
Whether she did it out of boredom, flattery or as a game you will probably never know, and you don't NEED to know it to accept that AS much ... (read in full...)
I got too clingy to a guy I was interested in and he's stopped responding. Do I reach out again?
Q. I’m a gay man and there is this guy I’m interested it. We met through an app, started messaging back and forth back in May, and yes he’s also gay. We like a lot of the same things and have a similar sense of humor, which is a change because I have ...
A. 12 December 2019: He is ghosting you. Ignoring you.
WHY on Earth do you think you should persist?
Sure, you might have got a tad OTT clingy but if you two were ACTUAL friends he would just either tell you or be OK with it.
Instead? HE is ignoring YOU. TOTALLY... (read in full...)
Do all older men think younger women are superior physically to older women .
Q. As I’ve gotten older my taste in what is attractive in men has changed and I find men my own age much more attractive than the younger men I dated in my youth . Quite a few of the men I have dated have mentioned how younger women are so good and ...
A. 12 December 2019: Well, fact are that we ALL (men and women) grow older. Some of us change preferences (like you now prefer a mature man over a young "stud") some don't.
I think many (not all, mind you) men think that the "ultimate prize" is a woman who doesn't ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a married woman we had a spat and I fear things will never go back to how they were
Q. I am helplessly in love with a married woman. We were good friends for a long time and then, during the breakdown of my long-term relationship, I turned to her for support. There was no affair, but I was overly attentive, and she lapped it up. We ...
A. 12 December 2019: You are wasting so much energy and emotions into a woman WHO is not interested IN you and who honestly, have NOTHING to give you as far as investment and commitment. Not even as a "friend".
You claim you love her, but you also know that NOTHING ... (read in full...)
I'm 68 haven't had sex since I was 35. I'm worried it will be painful
Q. I would like to know. If I have not had sex since I was 35 and now I am 68 will it hurt. I would love to have the chemistry that this person is my match and romance I do love. I need answers? ...
A. 12 December 2019: Maybe a visit to your gynecologist would be a good start?
Other then that... Make sure you are fully aroused before having sex? Consider having a lubricant handy in case you don't produce much yourself.
... (read in full...)
We broke up, I said I understood but I want to message her. Should I?
Q. About four months ago I broke up with a girl i had been seeing for around the same amount of time, four months. She ended things with me. She had many great qualities, she was sweet, interesting, beautiful, she was Spanish but spoke many languages ...
A. 11 December 2019: You could wish her a Merry Christmas and then leave it up to HER if she wants to have any kind of conversation going.
However, if you do that because you are lonely you are using this woman as entertainment, is that ever OK? Wanting to be friends ... (read in full...)
Help with two friendship situations please
Q. Dear all, I have two recurring situations and I seek your advice on it. I’m very sensitive to who are around me as friends and acquaintances, people who I think have questionable behavior or ethics (mean, rude, dismissive, arrogant, poor m...
A. 11 December 2019: 1. I think you CAN ask, who else is coming but if you them make a BIG deal out of not being able to come because X,Y or Z is coming to, then I think you ARE a drama queen. But if you start out with I'll have to check the date and see, and as a ... (read in full...)
Please help me understand an abusive man's actions
Q. Would a man who has been abusive to a woman deny his abusive behaviour if the woman finally exposed him to other people and she told them what he has been doing to her and why she left him and then he make up other excuses as to why she left him? A...
A. 11 December 2019: A guy who thinks being abusive is somehow OK, will of course NOT "own" his actions. He would without doubt RATHER paint the woman as crazy, a cheater or whatever will suit HIS narrative.
I can't "help" you understand him overall though, because ... (read in full...)
Please help me understand an abusive man's actions
Q. Would a man who has been abusive to a woman deny his abusive behaviour if the woman finally exposed him to other people and she told them what he has been doing to her and why she left him and then he make up other excuses as to why she left him? A...
A. 11 December 2019: A guy who thinks being abusive is somehow OK, will of course NOT "own" his actions. He would without doubt RATHER paint the woman as crazy, a cheater or whatever will suit HIS narrative.
I can't "help" you understand him overall though, because ... (read in full...)
Do I tell the girl he's engaged to that he sexted me whilst seeing her?
Q. Hi everyone. Last year, I graduated from college, and I seem to have had an issue with a guy I slept with one time. Basically, I came into college as a virgin, dated one guy for a bit, and then was single for the remainder of college. It was a sm...
A. 11 December 2019: Honestly?
I have to agree with the other two Aunties and ignore it.
The thing is you found out JUST how "douchy" he was BEFORE you even slept with him, and then from a few crass messages on Social media. IF you can tell what kind of guy he i... (read in full...)
My family never visits me and leave sit all up to me to see each other
Q. I live across the country from my family for work. Since I've moved, in three years, my family has only visited me twice. Every other visit has been my doing. I tell them I miss them. I tell them I'd like them to visit but they won't. They rely on ...
A. 10 December 2019: You are the one that moved away, so often the "burden" of meeting up is on you (as in YOU do the traveling home).
Maybe do some "meet in the middle visits"?
Maybe they just don't like the place you have moved to and don't really want to s... (read in full...)
How do I find out if my LDR husband is married to someone else?
Q. Hello I'm Canadian, my husband is African. We met on fb, a friends request. I have been trying to get him to Canada which isn't an easy task. He is even declined on a visitor visa. So I usually go see him in Africa. There has been ...
A. 10 December 2019: Of course he would lie to your face!
And if he is Muslim is your marriage even valid? I'd ask a lawyer about that FIRST.
Secondly, He didn't contact you on Facebook because he knew the two of you would be a great match, after all you are from... (read in full...)
Why is my former FWB not leaving me alone?
Q. Last July at a 25 year school reunion I met an old school friend whom I experienced an instant strong chemistry with, he was in a relationship and I was just out of one, I wasn’t interested in dating a taken man and made that known! He pursued me ...
A. 10 December 2019: OP, sometimes people grow up to be assholes.
You knew him when you were younger, 25 years later, he is DEFINITELY not the same guy, just like YOU are not the same woman.
Someone who treats YOU as entertainment or sexual exploitation IS ... (read in full...)
I desperately need to get on birth control but I don't know where and how to get it
Q. I need to get on birth control because I heard my boyfriend is trying to get me pregnant (I'm 16 a Sophomore, he's 18 a Junior). My parents make it impossible, though. There are TWO clinics in our town that gives birth control to minors without ...
A. 9 December 2019: If you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex.
I know, I know it's easier said than done but REALITY is that you are sexually active and can even ASK your parents to be put on birth control to avoid a pregnancy.
Your BF isn't giving a S... (read in full...)
I have never been on a date or been kissed and I'm too insecure to ask someone out
Q. Im not really sure where to start this, other than I posted on here probably about 10 years ago with pretty much the same question. I am in my late twenties, and I have never been on a date, been in a relationship, never kissed anyone or had se...
A. 9 December 2019: There is no magic fix here, OP
I think you know that. The ONLY way you CAN find a partner, get a kiss, hopefully a loving relationship that involves (among other things) sex... IS by you PUTTING yourself out there, by ACCEPTING that SOME women ma... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I cheat on him. Will he get over this as time goes on?
Q. My bf gets upset easily and accuses me of being with other men. I went to a friends house and he got very upset and started saying I was with another man. Idk why he gets so jealous because I made it very clear he’s the only one I am interested in . ...
A. 9 December 2019: Generally? No.
Someone who "thinks" you are cheating simply DO NOT trust you. At all.
It's not jealousy. It's him HOPING that if he accuses you of cheating you will FALL all over yourself trying to PROVE to him that you are not, which might... (read in full...)
Why is my former FWB not leaving me alone?
Q. Last July at a 25 year school reunion I met an old school friend whom I experienced an instant strong chemistry with, he was in a relationship and I was just out of one, I wasn’t interested in dating a taken man and made that known! He pursued me ...
A. 9 December 2019: Well, you presume it's OK to do a little "FWB" with him and then you can't understand why he is hoping for sex.
While it IS his responsibility to be faithful, you COULD have some stronger morals and actually stick to what you preach... as in... "I... (read in full...)
A friend is basing all of our interactions around her 9 year old son and I am getting weirded out
Q. I entered a graduate program (2 year length) last August where I met Wanda. She is about a decade older than me and is married with an elementary age son. I am married in my late twenties. My husband and I moved to a new part of the country just so ...
A. 9 December 2019: I think SHE revolve her life around "Son" entirely. That is who she is Wanda THE mom. Not Wanda, the wife, Wanda the friend, the daughter, sister... whichever. JUST Wanda the mom.
Why she think it's appropriate to ALWAYS include her son I don't kn... (read in full...)
Does every woman like oral sex?
Q. I was out with some male friends the other night and they all told me every woman they have slept with loved oral sex and had orgasms from it. I just admit I'm not a fan and never feel completely comfortable recieving oral. However I do like the ...
A. 9 December 2019: Nope, I'm not a fan either.
It just doesn't "do it" for me. Nothing wrong with that, different folks different strokes.
... (read in full...)
She moved on, married, had children, but I never got closure.
Q. I met a girl about a year after my divorce and it was a year after her divorce also. We both fell in love and dated each other for about four years. She wanted to get married and have children. I was afraid to get married, so we basically started ...
A. 8 December 2019: There will always be some questions that can't be answered, that is life.
So move forward to accept that it's been over and YOU too deserve to move on, is what you need to do.
No need to "erase" the memories of her and your time together, b... (read in full...)
Since the birth of the baby I'm just not interested in sex anyore.
Q. I had a baby nearly 5 months ago and have no sex drive. I've also recently been getting depo provera which is contraception injection. Its known to decrease sex drive I read but I've only just had my first one and was like this anyway before it. Not ...
A. 7 December 2019: Go see your GP.
You hormones might be out of whack. Have full work up. And maybe consider switching birth-control type. Again, TALK to your GP/OB/GYN.
However, it is NOT uncommon for a women who gave birth recently the be off sex for a while.... (read in full...)
I'm planning to visit my LD boyfriend in Germany and he has ditched plans with me to spend time with his friends.
Q. He I've been in a long distance relationship with a German guy for a while now, but I'm just at a point where I feel frustrated and undervalued. This is the issue we're currently having: He told me he wanted me to spend Christmas with him...
A. 7 December 2019: Why not CANCEL the trip and spend Christmas with YOUR family instead?
He doesn't seem to prioritize you much at all, NOR does he value you.
And despite having dealt with this a few times (you two making plans and then he wants YOU to change YO... (read in full...)
Anxious about long distance military relationship & personality change
Q. My boyfriend is joining the military working in intel, and we will be doing long distance for a year before getting married. We have a lot of trust and I have confidence in our relationship. However, I'm afraid of him possibly changing due to being ...
A. 7 December 2019: He will change, and SO will you.
Military DOES change a person. But they don't do a 180 and become a horrible version of themselves.
I think as long as you two are OPEN with communications you can make it work.
And if you two SHARE common ... (read in full...)
A girl gave me a Christmas card, what could the mean?
Q. A girl who I label as my friend had given me a Christmas card. What does this mean? For the past 11 weeks, I noticed that she is the only one I treated as a special person. I honestly did not know why. Possibly because she is my partner as the s...
A. 7 December 2019: Don't you know that giving a Christmas card is a FRIENDLY gesture?
I mean, I send ALL my family AND friends Christmas cards EVERY year. Most people do.
So when you gave a stuffed toy as a FRIENDLY gesture, SHE returned that gesture and gave... (read in full...)
I don't understand why my daughter is attracted to an older guy with nothing going for him.
Q. my adult daughter is dating a guy that is lazy and unmotivated. he is almost 40 he only has an id no drivers license i want better for her and don't know how to talk to her. i don't understand....
A. 7 December 2019: Maybe instead of pointing out that he is a loser and his bad qualities, ask her what it is about him she finds attractive?
I know it sucks when your child (grown or not) makes choices you don't agree with, but they HAVE to make their own choices ... (read in full...)
Husband I intend divorcing had a mutual friend contact me for information.
Q. I’m writing this question for people’s views and it will help put my mind at rest. My husband lives in a different country from me, he has been quite abusive towards me in the past and I did everything for him. I also believe he is a narcissi...
A. 6 December 2019: None of us has a magic 8 ball that can SHOW us what he might possibly perhaps be thinking. We don't even KNOW him, YOU do. So it's more likely that YOU have an idea of what's up with him.
And while you didn't ASK to get a certain answer, the aunt... (read in full...)
She moved on, married, had children, but I never got closure.
Q. I met a girl about a year after my divorce and it was a year after her divorce also. We both fell in love and dated each other for about four years. She wanted to get married and have children. I was afraid to get married, so we basically started ...
A. 6 December 2019: You don't NEED her to tell you that it didn't work out, and you don't NEED "closure" from her.
Facts are that YOU and HER wanted different things from a relationship when you were dating and that lead to the two of you drifting apart.
You two... (read in full...)
He said he loved me, then he went to Mexico and now he barely speaks with me.
Q. My bf and I were starting to become super close . He told me he loved me and than he went to Mexico with his parents . The first few days he msg me and sent me pictures . Now he has been gone 5 days and he barely speaks to me . This morning I told ...
A. 6 December 2019: Yeah, it's a bit on the clingy side IF he is on vacation, then LET him get a chance to miss you, to RELAX, and hang out with family.
You are old enough to understand that vacations/trips means you are THERE in the moment, not on your phone wi... (read in full...)
She gave me her number but isnt answering.
Q. Hi! Thanks in advance for your time. Briefly, I was out Friday and met a nice waitress in a lounge restaurant. We clicked. Good conversation along with sexual tension. She kept telling me she'd come back to our table to chat and she did with one...
A. 5 December 2019: What's wrong with being eager? You ASKED to exchange number and she gave you hers.
So waiting 3 days is a waste of time. I know someone use a "3 day day rule" but really, that is rarely a good idea if you are REALLY interested.
And giving yo... (read in full...)
I'm having sex with my ex who is married to someone else.
Q. Hello everyone, so I'm in a situation that I've never been in one before. And I don't know where to start so I'm going to try to keep it as short as possible. I have a daughter that is 8 years old. Her father and I have been split up since...
A. 5 December 2019: Honestly, OP
You should know better. It doesn't MATTER that he hasn't cheated on his wife before (that you KNOW of) HE is cheating now. And he is making you PART of the deceit of his marriage, family and wife.
SO what that they are "very close ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's sister in law says they are in a "live in" arrangement.
Q. I and my boyfriend were like best friends . And our relationship was at its best . He's very loving , caring and understanding. And his brother's wife keeps calling him more often , all day and night which I hate the most and I told him that I d...
A. 5 December 2019: Dump him?
It sounds like WAY too much family drama.
She MIGHT be mentally sick, possessive etc. but usually there is some truth to things like that and SHE is family, you are not. Let's say for a minute what SHE said was true. Would YOU really... (read in full...)
She gave me her number but isnt answering.
Q. Hi! Thanks in advance for your time. Briefly, I was out Friday and met a nice waitress in a lounge restaurant. We clicked. Good conversation along with sexual tension. She kept telling me she'd come back to our table to chat and she did with one...
A. 5 December 2019: Hmm, why did you wait 3 days? I mean if you were really interested in her?
And secondly, if she doesn't respond to text and won't pick up your call, I'd say she was being really friendly at work but perhaps not super interested in anything... (read in full...)
We both have children, he wants us to live together but his children need more help!
Q. I love my boyfriend of one year. He would do anything for me and appears to want this relationship more than ever. We've been spending a lot of time together over the months and hes ready to start living together. I dont think its too soon but i ...
A. 5 December 2019: I think he sees you as his way out of HAVING to actually parent his kids.
Are you willing to sacrifice your kids childhood to date this man? Because YOUR kids will bear the cost of him not being a good parent. HE isn't going to be a GREAT dad over... (read in full...)
Husband I intend divorcing had a mutual friend contact me for information.
Q. I’m writing this question for people’s views and it will help put my mind at rest. My husband lives in a different country from me, he has been quite abusive towards me in the past and I did everything for him. I also believe he is a narcissi...
A. 4 December 2019: Yeah, I agree, DO NOT worry about what HE might think or feel. WHO cares?!
You are done, so BE done.
And don't open a business until the divorce is final or at least talk to a lawyer first. You don't want him to try and claim stake in your ne... (read in full...)
| *oneypie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oneypie has
added them and they have added *oneypie!
|
