My teenage son is hitting on my wife.
Q. Afternoon all.. so I remarried 15 years ago and my older son is now 19 and I think he’s been hitting on my wife and I’m not sure what to say ...
A. 21 November 2019: I think if your wife is aware and can handle it, I would let her do just that. However, I might also pull him aside and tell him it's really disrespectful to his stepmom to behave that way.
Because that might not BE his intention at all (being d... (read in full...)
Roommate took in a person who is way overstaying her welcome
Q. I moved out of the dorms last year because of shitty roommates and in with a gay guy I thought was a friend. E and I work full-time and attend school part-time. Other than him quitting jobs suddenly (he at least gets another one) and refusing to do ...
A. 18 November 2019: Also, another option.
You could tell E that EITHER she moves out or YOU do. Give him a week to think on that. Maybe he he think you ARE serious about it, he will do the right thing and kick her out.
He might think he is helping her, but he is n... (read in full...)
What can we do when his ex is lying so much but gets away with it?
Q. Hello. We are in a tricky situation at the moment and could do with some advice. Me and my husband have been together 9 years. I have 2 Step children. He broke up with ex 2 years before me. His ex is a true narcissist. She doesn’t have ...
A. 18 November 2019: Talk to your husband and you two decide what the next move should be.
HAVE an united front (so to speak) which means HE doesn't give her money unless you TWO agree and that it IS for the kids, not for her.
I know the courts in many places DO f... (read in full...)
Roommate took in a person who is way overstaying her welcome
Q. I moved out of the dorms last year because of shitty roommates and in with a gay guy I thought was a friend. E and I work full-time and attend school part-time. Other than him quitting jobs suddenly (he at least gets another one) and refusing to do ...
A. 18 November 2019: Well, if the STUFF is all yours, they will have a FUN time when you move, won't they?
E is NOT a very good friend at all.
This is NOT a good situation for you. So again, check you lease, talk to your landlord, Look for another place to live as... (read in full...)
My teenage son is hitting on my wife.
Q. Afternoon all.. so I remarried 15 years ago and my older son is now 19 and I think he’s been hitting on my wife and I’m not sure what to say ...
A. 18 November 2019: So she is not offended by it?
Even if it IS disrespectful towards her?... (read in full...)
I get wet very easily when I am with my boyfriend.
Q. Hello, Ive been having a problem with being turned on and getting wet really easily, so basically I would be with my boyfriend just cuddling and I would get wet for some reason. It can be really awkward sometimes when I'm out in public with him. We ...
A. 18 November 2019: He turns you on. THAT is it.
Panty liners should be enough to "soak" it up, just change them regularly.
It guess it's a REALLY clear sign that your body is reacting to him, that is what we call ... Lust.
Think about it, be glad you don't ha... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should trust this girl, or not!
Q. Hey Aunts. I have recent gone on a few dates with someone who I met online. I was wondering when to remove my profile from the site, but she got there first and told me she had done so. Great I thought - best go and do the same quick. But as I ...
A. 18 November 2019: Did she just change it to inactive?
That way it might still show up.
As far as removing yours, no I wouldn't do that unless you are certain that THIS is a woman you want to date and things are exclusive.
SHE can CHOOSE to make hers inac... (read in full...)
Roommate took in a person who is way overstaying her welcome
Q. I moved out of the dorms last year because of shitty roommates and in with a gay guy I thought was a friend. E and I work full-time and attend school part-time. Other than him quitting jobs suddenly (he at least gets another one) and refusing to do ...
A. 18 November 2019: You can't really MAKE E do anything, but you CAN find another place to live.
THAT is what I would do.
Talk to your land lord about ending YOUR lease and then find another room-mate/flat-share and move out ASAP.
(sometimes you have t... (read in full...)
My teenage son is hitting on my wife.
Q. Afternoon all.. so I remarried 15 years ago and my older son is now 19 and I think he’s been hitting on my wife and I’m not sure what to say ...
A. 18 November 2019: How does your wife react?
Talk to her first. It might just be banter.
IF not...
Personally, I'd take him aside and tell him to quit it, it's disrespectful to your wife. And to you.
Not to mention weird.
... (read in full...)
I've realised my partner is a lazy lowlife scrounger who doesn't bath frequently enough.
Q. Hey everyone what do you when you realise your partner is a lazy lowlife scrounger when I first met my partner he had a job his own flat and looked after himself that was 6 years ago fast forward to now he is a selfish scruffy low life who thinks of ...
A. 17 November 2019: I get that you want your daughter to have her dad in her life, but IS he really BEING a dad, other than in name and genetically wise?
He can't even look after himself, so what good is he for the family (you and your child) - (I know that sounds h... (read in full...)
I met a guy on facebook, and even though he has a ring on his finger I cant stop thinking about him.
Q. Dear Cupid, A few months ago (~4-5), I saw a profile picture of a very handsome guy on Facebook. I opened the profile picture and it showed that we have about 30 mutual friends. So I befriended him. Since then, I liked his profile picture ...
A. 17 November 2019: If you are friends on Facebook it should (I would presume) be easy to see if he is single or not.
If he is not single, my advice would be the cut it out and look elsewhere. It's not going to end well if the guy has a wife or fiance or gf. You ... (read in full...)
Would you be furious if your partner came home with a dog without consulting you?
Q. Can I ask a serious question - would you aunts be mad if your partner went and got a dog without consulting you first? Right now I am sat here absolutely raging! My partner went and got a dog last week and the thing just craps everywhere! We c...
A. 17 November 2019: Yes, I would be mad.
I think the approach of "better to ask forgiveness than ask permission" is a no-go when it comes to making HUGE changes in your life, like getting a dog.
My husband has done this 4 times though, (with kittens) and I h... (read in full...)
I feel like my friend is doing everything he can to hurt me and I don't know why
Q. Has anybody ever had a lifelong friend who just refuses to be normal. I used to think this friend is going through a bad time in life so I tried to support and accept a careless friendship. However now it’s been some time and I feel like this friend ...
A. 16 November 2019: It's ok to be sad that the friendship has come to this. I get it.
I have lost a friend or two along the way, some losses more painful than others, but it CAN happen.
My VERY best friend has only know me for 18 years (compared to the rest who ... (read in full...)
I feel like my friend is doing everything he can to hurt me and I don't know why
Q. Has anybody ever had a lifelong friend who just refuses to be normal. I used to think this friend is going through a bad time in life so I tried to support and accept a careless friendship. However now it’s been some time and I feel like this friend ...
A. 15 November 2019: So why do you still consider him a friend?
Seems like he isn't REALLY regarding you as a friend as he chooses to not invest in you, to not give but only take.
My advice? Phase him out.
My guess is if YOU have been supporting him when he w... (read in full...)
I don't know how to let my co-workers know that I appreciate their kindness
Q. Dear Cupid, I have trouble socialising with others.I recently joined a new company and everyone there has been very welcoming to me. I am not able to reciprocate as I am really awkward around others. I tend to mind my own business and not disturb ...
A. 15 November 2019: A thank you note is a great way to show your appreciation for all the good things your colleague has done to make the workplace a comfortable and fun place to work.
You can add something as simple as:
I just wanted to say thanks a lot for... (read in full...)
Does my boss fancy me or is she now being nice before she fires me
Q. I recently started working for an insurance company and at first my boss was a complete arsehole to me, but now three months later she’s being nice as pie and even flirty with me. I’ve even got the distinct feeling she fancies me. I’m so ...
A. 15 November 2019: Oh and if she keeps this up and makes you uncomfortable, you talk to HR!
If she was a guy in his 40's behaving like this around a 20 something young lady we ALL know what kind of suits would be filed.
... (read in full...)
Does my boss fancy me or is she now being nice before she fires me
Q. I recently started working for an insurance company and at first my boss was a complete arsehole to me, but now three months later she’s being nice as pie and even flirty with me. I’ve even got the distinct feeling she fancies me. I’m so ...
A. 15 November 2019: She doesn't sound like a VERY good boss at all. EVERYONE makes mistakes when first starting a new job, it's just is what it is. You learn from them (hopefully) and move forward.
I think you are not going to be fired, I think SOMEONE might have com... (read in full...)
What can we do when his ex is lying so much but gets away with it?
Q. Hello. We are in a tricky situation at the moment and could do with some advice. Me and my husband have been together 9 years. I have 2 Step children. He broke up with ex 2 years before me. His ex is a true narcissist. She doesn’t have ...
A. 15 November 2019: It's always a tough situation when you have things going on that you have no control over.
Like what she says to the kids. You can't MAKE her only say XYZ, you can't MAKE her be a better person, and you can't MAKE her not play the "victim"... (read in full...)
What's wrong? Trying asexual dating but that also isn't working. What's wrong?
Q. Hello. First of all, thank you for your mostly kind responses to my last post. I'm the lady who posted about being raised by my grandparents. (I did not write the title). After a long period of failed relationships (four with men one with a woman...
A. 14 November 2019: I agree with FA
Focus on unpacking your past and working though that. Dating will be "easier" when you know and understand yourself better, what you want, what you have to offer etc.
And work on making friends, your social skills as well. ... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to call?
Q. This question is more for the female Aunts but i am always open to hear from the men as well. Ladies (and guys) do you still believe in the 3 day rule? I met a real pretty lady last night and she texted me her number before having to go home. I d...
A. 14 November 2019: The 3 day rule is stupid. And here is why. In this day and age EVERYONE has a cellphone and can send and receive messages and calls 24/7 (more or less). "Ignoring" someone for 3 days only shows that you are not that interested. Even if you are.
... (read in full...)
Should I send a text for closure, should I feel jealous my friend works with my crush?
Q. ive liked the same person for quite a while now and sometimes my feelings towards him go away then they come back again , I wish I didn't have feelings for him but you cant help it , we got along really well at first then due to the way I acted it ...
A. 14 November 2019: OP, DO NOT TEXT him.
YOU already have "closure" as in he apologized and you two made amends, the DRAMA it over.
He knows you are glad it got sorted out, because you smile and greet him when you run into him. NO NEED to text him and TELL hi... (read in full...)
His comments seem to imply that I'm not hot anymore
Q. What does it mean when a man says you must have been hot/ pretty when you were younger or asks if you used to look like some famous star . I’m trying hard not to be offended by his comments but they seem to imply he thinks I’m not hot anymore ? And ...
A. 14 November 2019: I don't think it means you WERE hot and you AREN'T now, I think it's just a very backwards compliment.
My Dad's GF (they are 80(Dad) and 70(GF) by the way) were a STUNNER in her 20's. She is STILL a pretty attractive lady at age 70, but she WAS ... (read in full...)
My husband's use of porn has really hurt me
Q. I am 49 year old woman, my husband is 53. He had his prostrate removed 3 years ago and we have still manage to have sex with the aid of a pump. he as looked at porn for years and I told him I think he wants the women on the screen he said he does ...
A. 13 November 2019: Porn IS a societal issue. While it may not harm most people, it can create issues for the porn user, and the people around them (like a partner) when it comes to sex.
10% of porn users are as YOUNG as 10. ANYONE that young watching porn will wit... (read in full...)
I think I need more information about how his last relationship ended before he makes plans to visit me! Thoughts?
Q. I am in a new “situation” with a man for 5 months, 3.5 months of which has been long distance. He has been visiting the country that he lived in for 10 years that he left a year ago. I recieved a message this evening saying that he wants to come and ...
A. 13 November 2019: Why do you NEED the details?
Curiosity?
He will TELL you HIS version of events. Which might be close to the truth, but not the entire truth. Let's face it we ALL prefer our OWN version of events. Especially after a break up.
I dated a guy w... (read in full...)
I’m focused on school so I don’t see the need for relationships. Is that selfish or wrong somehow?
Q. I broke up recently with my boyfriend of 7 months, because I was definitely mistaken love for infatuation. The problem is, I felt really good about us being together the first two months, although things between us happened quickly, and we rushed ...
A. 13 November 2019: I don't think it's weird to want to focus on your education it is after all what will/can carry your future.
Not making friends though, I don't think is super healthy. Doesn't mean you have to try and make 30 friends, but having 1 or 2 that you... (read in full...)
Should I fade my manipulative friend out?
Q. I have been "best friends" with a woman for over 25 years. I started to notice when the bill came at dinner, or anywhere we were, she'll begin to complain about how broke she is and I'd end up either paying the entire bill or some of her ...
A. 13 November 2019: Ah, my mistake then!
I read as she took money for the tickets and then SHE went alone on a free ticket.
Still, she sounds like a twat. And if she is always without money, she could suggest you two go for coffee or she cook a dinner at home, ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on my alcoholic boyfriend?
Q. Hi. Iv been living with my boyfriend for 2 years.he is an alcoholic.he said he will never give uo drinking. Drinking is more important than me. He has met my family but doesnt want anything to actually do with them. saying they are lovely etc but ...
A. 13 November 2019: What else can you do?
He is NOT going to change, he even said so. He want to slowly drink himself to death and do you honestly WANT to watch that?
You can't MAKE him get help, you can't MAKE him stop drinking and you can't MAKE him start to car... (read in full...)
My overbearing grandparents have left me feeling isolated
Q. When I was in HS (and younger) I was raised by very strict, old-fashioned grandparents who sheltered me. I got made fun of a lot for not getting cultural references or not knowing who many celebrities were. I was not allowed overnights or friends in ...
A. 12 November 2019: If you choose to volunteer, I'd keep it to something that brings JOY to you. Which is why No-kill animal shelters is a GREAT start.
You have to deal with animals and people who LOVE animals, no hidden or agendas.
I think it's a good start.
... (read in full...)
I need help with online dating ettiquette!
Q. Hey everyone. I was just wondering at what point when dating someone is it normal / the etiquette do you not chat with other people / ask for dates? I've been online dating for a while, but without much / any success. Had a second date recently, t...
A. 12 November 2019: OK, so if you would be OK with HER also going on dates, then why not ask #2 out?
The only problem THAT can cause is IF #1 is the one you figure out you really want to be with and she doesn't feel it was OK for you to do so. I mean I have seen pos... (read in full...)
Should I fade my manipulative friend out?
Q. I have been "best friends" with a woman for over 25 years. I started to notice when the bill came at dinner, or anywhere we were, she'll begin to complain about how broke she is and I'd end up either paying the entire bill or some of her ...
A. 12 November 2019: I wouldn't try and confront her, but I would ASK for the money BACK you paid for the concert you didn't even end up going to.
See what she says to that.
If she comes up with ALL kind of excuses, I'd say you know what I think our friendship i... (read in full...)
I need help with online dating ettiquette!
Q. Hey everyone. I was just wondering at what point when dating someone is it normal / the etiquette do you not chat with other people / ask for dates? I've been online dating for a while, but without much / any success. Had a second date recently, t...
A. 12 November 2019: How would you feel if SHE went on dates (platonic) because SHE wasn't sure YOU were right for her?
Be honest.
... (read in full...)
Will I be able to stay away from my abusive ex when he turns on the charm?
Q. I am gutted that my relationship that I clung onto has turned out to be nothing more than an abusive relationship. Someone warned me at the beginning but I couldn't take it in. It's taken an episode of near strangling for me to face facts. All...
A. 12 November 2019: Why would you even consider TALKING to him ever again? What would be the point?
When you IGNORE red flags (such as someone trustworthy warning you, you risk your life, not just a broken heart.)
It SUCKS to find out that the person you had H... (read in full...)
I don't think I'm ever going to get over my ex
Q. Is there any way to really get over an ex? My ex fiancé and I were together for 7 years and have been split up 5 years and I’m still not over him and don’t think I ever will be. I’ve only seen him once during that time and haven’t really spoken to ...
A. 11 November 2019: Don't "try", DO.
It's OK that your ex was your first real love, and that you will always love him, to a point. And it's OK to have him as part of your memories and your past.
Some people will affect us deeply for the rest of our lives, for g... (read in full...)
My overbearing grandparents have left me feeling isolated
Q. When I was in HS (and younger) I was raised by very strict, old-fashioned grandparents who sheltered me. I got made fun of a lot for not getting cultural references or not knowing who many celebrities were. I was not allowed overnights or friends in ...
A. 11 November 2019: Edit - should have written GRAND parents, obviously - sorry.... (read in full...)
My overbearing grandparents have left me feeling isolated
Q. When I was in HS (and younger) I was raised by very strict, old-fashioned grandparents who sheltered me. I got made fun of a lot for not getting cultural references or not knowing who many celebrities were. I was not allowed overnights or friends in ...
A. 11 November 2019: You parents are/were overprotective for a reason. I think losing your mother (their child) made them EXTRA tight with rules for you. They hoped by watching you like a hawk you would not be lost to them as well.
And while I get that, it did you ... (read in full...)
My ex is a jealous, negative-minded selfish idiot in the relationship area, should I take him back?
Q. I have a tricky situation that will probably receive mixed reactions based on whether you're a dog-lover or not. Basically - I broke up with my partner a few months back. We fought at first but eventually learnt to be civil. We don't have any k...
A. 11 November 2019: IF you tell him no, won't he still need help with the puppy?
OR was the puppy a PLOY to get you to INVEST in the puppy and thus in him again?
Don't be naive. And don't get into a relationship with a guy who IS NOT someone you ACTUALLY want to... (read in full...)
I need help with online dating ettiquette!
Q. Hey everyone. I was just wondering at what point when dating someone is it normal / the etiquette do you not chat with other people / ask for dates? I've been online dating for a while, but without much / any success. Had a second date recently, t...
A. 11 November 2019: I'd say KEEP kissing and sex out of the picture until you are READY to stick to dating exclusively one person AT A TIME. Once you involve sex, it get a lot trickier, I think.
I know some people see online dating as a chance to "test-dr... (read in full...)
A man I have a crush on is involved with someone else
Q. First Question: To all reading this I will keep this as short as possible. I work for a supermarket chain. There is a guy who is aged 37 in work and I am aged 28. We have been friends for just a year and I developed strong feelings for him but neve...
A. 10 November 2019: If he is looking for partners on Tindr, he PROBABLY isn't looking for something long term. BUT he probably is looking OUTSIDE of work, which is smart.
Don't go looking for a partner at work, go out and socialize OUTSIDE of work with friends.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a separate SIM card for his cell phone
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months now, and during all those months I noticed multiple times that he has an extra SIM card in his phone cover, but I didn't ask him why does he have another phone number, I gave it time and thought that he might ...
A. 9 November 2019: What kind of job does he do?
It doesn't automatically mean he is cheating, but it could be criminality. Unless he is military or law enforcement (but I can't REALLY see any jobs that would require just a spare SIM card). Or he COULD be telling ... (read in full...)
Married 40 years and not once has my wife given me oral sex. She refuses to
Q. I have been married for forty years to the same woman. She has never given me a blow job in all those years. I have gone down on her for years, but she refuses me when I ask her to do the same on me. When we were first married we had good sex but ...
A. 7 November 2019: Agrees with WiseOwlE,
You haven't died from not getting a blowjob. YOU knew BEFORE you married her that she wasn't into that.
My husband of 20+ years hasn't gotten anal from me and he NEVER will because I AM not into that. We find other ways ... (read in full...)
Why are straight guys upset when gay guys don't like them?
Q. Today I had a conversation with a guy who found out I'm gay. Him - It's fine with me, just don't come on to me. Me - Don't worry, you're not my type. Him - What do you mean I'm not your type? Me - I don't find you attractive. H...
A. 7 November 2019: Why didn't you just ask him? I mean it would have been the PERFECT time to have him explain that to you, since you were already talking about attraction, sexuality etc.
Instead you presume that total strangers on the internet can read his mind and... (read in full...)
I feel isolated and am having trouble making friends. Is it a cultural thing?
Q. Hi I am living in the USA for some years now. I am a student and my family lives overseas. I am feeling very awkward socializing here. I like to talk with my classmates and share school relate experiences and just make friendly talks.. but it seems...
A. 7 November 2019: To be honest, I have found that Americans (in general) are curious about other cultures and nationalities. So I think finding a place where people go TO SOCIALIZE is probably the best move. Like a club after school/on campus.
So figure out what... (read in full...)
I'm so angry that he'll let his parents destroy our family
Q. Hi my husband and I are both 31 with a 4 year old daughter. Long story. I found out I was pregnant early on in the relationship and after I had lost my job. Lived with the in laws and my MIL and SIL are VERY INTERFERRING. I get post natal depression ...
A. 7 November 2019: OP, people can't just TAKE your kid without any legal intervention. Even Children's Protection Society (CPS) needs a legal reason.
You need to get on your feet so you CAN provide for your kid and not live with HIS family.
WHY is your husband ... (read in full...)
Would you be scared to email someone you treated badly?
Q. if you knew that you had treated someone very badly and they left you and changed their phone number, and they lived in a different country from you and so you asked a mutual friend to contact them by email and they more or less ignored that mutual ...
A. 7 November 2019: I totally read your post wrong, I apologize.
Thought YOU were treated badly by him/her. If YOU were the one treating someone badly to a point where they CUT all contract then you NEED to respect their wishes to have NOTHING to do with you.
... (read in full...)
Am I in the friend-zone? What should I do to avoid becoming her friend and further into a relationship?
Q. I'm a 37 year old male, met this girl who is 31 on a dating app. We're both of Chinese background. She's had two relationships prior to our match; both long term. We hit it off pretty well over texts, subsequently I asked her out for dinner. She ...
A. 7 November 2019:
I think instead of leaning in for a kiss you should tell her that you are interested in getting to know her better and develop a relationship, RATHER than leaning in for a kiss. I think an awkward kiss too soon would MORE likely ruin any roma... (read in full...)
Don't like to see the signs of the girls he's been with in the past
Q. In love with my boyfriend of a year sex and love life is great but I feel like I can’t fully give my self to him he has so many back scars scratches from another or other females in the past I hate seeing him in the light with no shirt seeing other ...
A. 7 November 2019: Wow your poor BF!
If those scars are from women I feel rather sorry for him. Because that must have been beyond painful if they left THAT bad scarring that it's so obvious to you now.
My thing is this though, IF you can't HANDLE that he h... (read in full...)
I feel isolated and am having trouble making friends. Is it a cultural thing?
Q. Hi I am living in the USA for some years now. I am a student and my family lives overseas. I am feeling very awkward socializing here. I like to talk with my classmates and share school relate experiences and just make friendly talks.. but it seems...
A. 5 November 2019: I agree with your professor/teacher that it's NOT the "right" or "appropriate" time to trying to make friends while you are in class. you (and ALL the other students) are there to LEARN, not chit chat.
Doesn't mean you can't TALK to people a... (read in full...)
Would you be scared to email someone you treated badly?
Q. if you knew that you had treated someone very badly and they left you and changed their phone number, and they lived in a different country from you and so you asked a mutual friend to contact them by email and they more or less ignored that mutual ...
A. 5 November 2019: WHY on Earth WOULD you want to contact them?
It seems like that person is a PIECE OF SHIT that you should "bury" in the past.
What exactly do you HOPE will happen? Is it realistic?
Is it one of those, I will write him and e-mail and let h... (read in full...)
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