Is there a way out without destroying several lives?
Q. My former college girlfriend, who I have never stopped loving, contacted me at the end of August. Said she had left her husband of five years and planned to divorce him. We spent Labor Day weekend together at my house. After the holiday, she decided ...
A. 6 June 2020: Well, I feel bad for the husband. But I think in all honesty he DESERVED to know the truth, just like you did. And the child, in the future.
Have you talked to a lawyer? Do you know your rights? Being the BIOLOGICAL dad doesn't always means yo... (read in full...)
I feel isolated and am having trouble making friends. Is it a cultural thing?
Q. Hi I am living in the USA for some years now. I am a student and my family lives overseas. I am feeling very awkward socializing here. I like to talk with my classmates and share school relate experiences and just make friendly talks.. but it seems...
A. 7 November 2019: To be honest, I have found that Americans (in general) are curious about other cultures and nationalities. So I think finding a place where people go TO SOCIALIZE is probably the best move. Like a club after school/on campus.
So figure out what... (read in full...)
Would you be scared to email someone you treated badly?
Q. if you knew that you had treated someone very badly and they left you and changed their phone number, and they lived in a different country from you and so you asked a mutual friend to contact them by email and they more or less ignored that mutual ...
A. 7 November 2019: I totally read your post wrong, I apologize.
Thought YOU were treated badly by him/her. If YOU were the one treating someone badly to a point where they CUT all contract then you NEED to respect their wishes to have NOTHING to do with you.
... (read in full...)
Don't like to see the signs of the girls he's been with in the past
Q. In love with my boyfriend of a year sex and love life is great but I feel like I can’t fully give my self to him he has so many back scars scratches from another or other females in the past I hate seeing him in the light with no shirt seeing other ...
A. 7 November 2019: Wow your poor BF!
If those scars are from women I feel rather sorry for him. Because that must have been beyond painful if they left THAT bad scarring that it's so obvious to you now.
My thing is this though, IF you can't HANDLE that he h... (read in full...)
He wants us to have a relationship after he buys his furniture
Q. Ive met this guy through his cousin, as he was coming from other province and being single, we met on the 27 November 2018. Everything was great.at that time he was staying with his lady cousin, but was forever complaining that she doesn't cook even ...
A. 6 November 2019: Definitely let him go.
Honestly why would you even TALK to him after what he did to you? Just moving himself in and then undermining you and treating you badly...
Cut all contact and find a guy who is a DECENT man. This one isn't it.... (read in full...)
I feel isolated and am having trouble making friends. Is it a cultural thing?
Q. Hi I am living in the USA for some years now. I am a student and my family lives overseas. I am feeling very awkward socializing here. I like to talk with my classmates and share school relate experiences and just make friendly talks.. but it seems...
A. 5 November 2019: I agree with your professor/teacher that it's NOT the "right" or "appropriate" time to trying to make friends while you are in class. you (and ALL the other students) are there to LEARN, not chit chat.
Doesn't mean you can't TALK to people a... (read in full...)
Would you be scared to email someone you treated badly?
Q. if you knew that you had treated someone very badly and they left you and changed their phone number, and they lived in a different country from you and so you asked a mutual friend to contact them by email and they more or less ignored that mutual ...
A. 5 November 2019: WHY on Earth WOULD you want to contact them?
It seems like that person is a PIECE OF SHIT that you should "bury" in the past.
What exactly do you HOPE will happen? Is it realistic?
Is it one of those, I will write him and e-mail and let h... (read in full...)
Husband’s Weight Gain and Lazy, Selfish Attitude is Ruining Our Marriage
Q. My husband and I have been married a little over a year and it has been extremely difficult. When we were dating he was so sweet and so generous, I honestly never imagined we would ever be struggling like we are now. I expected a marriage where we ...
A. 5 November 2019: You are BOTH having to adapt, it's fart of relationships and marriage... AND life.
Instead of TALKING about HIS weight, MAKE a plan for yourself to lose whatever you want to lose. And then WORK on that. INVITE him to join you IN that, but losing w... (read in full...)
I found my soul mate and its not my husband
Q. I'm am recently married and very happily married, there are no problems, I have a lot of live for him and he's my best friend. However I have found my soul mate in a friend, and I never believed in soulmates before but our similarities and pasts are ...
A. 5 November 2019: You need to take some control over this situation and some PERSONAL responsibility.
You say you don't want to hurt your husband but YOU are, he just doesn't know it... yet.
You say you are recently married and happy, why lie? I simply don't bel... (read in full...)
My partner has slept in the spare room for the past 2 years but always wants sex. What gives?
Q. Hi I’ve been in my current relationship for nearly 8 years now the last 2 years he has slept in the spare room with no explanation as to why I went away for the weekend with some friends from work and he slept in our bed which I found quite strange ...
A. 5 November 2019: How about TALKING to him? And don't accept the vague "everything is fine" because OBVIOUSLY it's NOT!
HOW are we (TOTAL strangers on the internet) supposed to know WHAT he is thinking and feeling?
And If you no longer want sex with him, have l... (read in full...)
I want closure from my ex. Is it wrong or silly to want to talk to him about our ending?
Q. Hi all! I have a question about a past relationship. Quick info: I am 27 and live in Nashville, I have been dating my current SO for 5 months. He is 28. It is my first healthy relationship, and I am very happy with it. The question I have ...
A. 5 November 2019: He can't GIVE you closure, but YOU can do that yourself.
He doesn't OWE you any kind of conversation or explanation either.
Even IF you did get to have this conversation who is to say he doesn't remember things VERY different from you? In a w... (read in full...)
No one seems to like my daughter
Q. My 12-year-old daughter is constantly being rejected and I'm sick of it! When she was 6 month old I sent her to an in home sitter so I could actually get work done. (I'm a medical transcriptionist). I sent her w expressed milk, cloth diapers, and ...
A. 4 November 2019: While I don't want this to turn into a "hating on you for choosing to not vaccinate your kid" - Not vaccinating your child is a sure way to isolate her. What will you do when it comes time for college? MOST colleges demands students to be vaccinated ... (read in full...)
Should I return the call of my estranged aunt?
Q. Hi All, I've been estranged from my father's family for over twelve years. It's a very long story but in short, after he and my grandmother died, there was a lot of anger, resentment and accusations. Because he and my mom were separated at the...
A. 4 November 2019: I agree, I would call her back.
You can ALWAYS at ANY point in time cut the contact if they start drama or whatnot.
Also (to add onto Ciar's great advice) I would keep anything VERY personal out of the conversation.
It takes a lot to mak... (read in full...)
I don't trust my boyfriend around his female friend
Q. So my boyfriend told me about this girl at college that she actually likes him, and she once approached him and talked to him for a bit. I tried not to overreact and I trust him that he won't flirt or cheat on me with her, so I told him that as ...
A. 3 November 2019: You are way overstepping yourself here. You come off as controlling AF!
WHY on Earth should he not talk to other girls? As long as it's about a tv show, or whatever people talk about to acquaintances or friends?!
And why should she talk to him?... (read in full...)
How can we keep living like this? We're broken up but still living together
Q. For the past 8years I've lived with my then boyfirend away from home however we split up 3months ago but neither of us can afford to move out. I'm tied into a job contract and ha to work 3months notice and my family live a 4hour drive away so for me ...
A. 2 November 2019: How long are you bound to the rent-contract?
If the landlord won't take you off the contract, then you are having to stay until your contract is over. Which SUCKS!
What I would do is start looking for jobs around the area where your famil... (read in full...)
It seems impossible to satisfy her sexually and it's giving me second thoughts
Q. My girlfriend of 8 months is unhappy with the amount of sex in our relationship. Tonight we had (in my opinion) a nice date and then had sex for 30 minutes ~ 1 hour and when I took her home, she just sat in pissed off silence the whole way (30 ...
A. 1 November 2019: I have to agree with jls022,
While she IS being sulky and selfish, it's nothing like the guy who is borderline abusive and refuses to see his GF if she doesn't want to stay and be his sex-toy for the weekend.
BUT I do agree that we TEND to ... (read in full...)
It seems impossible to satisfy her sexually and it's giving me second thoughts
Q. My girlfriend of 8 months is unhappy with the amount of sex in our relationship. Tonight we had (in my opinion) a nice date and then had sex for 30 minutes ~ 1 hour and when I took her home, she just sat in pissed off silence the whole way (30 ...
A. 31 October 2019: I think you and her need to TALK about this.
She need to HELP you help her, achieve her needs fulfilled. Maybe she LIKES certain things sexually but hasn't really expressed it properly to you. Just saying, I'm frustrated is not really helpful ... (read in full...)
I have two dates and I'm not sure I want to go on a third, even though she is HOT!
Q. To start of Im a 24 year old male that hasnt been in a relationship for a long time. I still consider myself a kid at heart (or better yet immature). Ive recently went on two dates with a girl who asked me out and frankly I see no connection and s...
A. 31 October 2019: She definitely will be thinking about kids before you. If she is 29, it's something she HAS to consider. Whereas you, have all the time in world (so to speak) when it comes to fertility.
At your age, I didn't think I'd EVER want kids. When I m... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets nasty when I don't do what he wants!
Q. My boyfriend gets nasty and angry if I don't spend the night staying over with him every weekend and refuses to come over to see me and take me out for the day because I wont do what he wants which is stayover and have sex all night and day. the ...
A. 31 October 2019: Have you TOLD him that you MISS how it used to be? Doing things together OUTSIDE of the bedroom?
I don't think it's EVER OK to bully someone into giving in or giving you what you want, THAT isn't LOVE, OP. That is SELFISH. HE is selfish.... (read in full...)
I have two interviews and am not sure what to wear or how to act.
Q. i have two interviews coming up in the week , one is a group interview and the other is just with the manager im assuming . they are both for a the same retail shop but in different areas . they are also both xmas temp positions. I would really ...
A. 30 October 2019: I agree that trying something new is a good idea, but... if you are wanting your independence, having temporary/seasonal jobs is just not all that practical. Especially if you have bills to pay. You are OLD enough to be responsible for that.
I wou... (read in full...)
He said/she said Should the girlfriend worry about her boyfriend meeting up with a 19 year old to learn language?
Q. Dear Cupid, Background: my boyfriend has moved to my country to live with me. He does not speak the language here or have any local friends, so he is engaging in something called "language exchange". This is him meeting people who are interested t...
A. 30 October 2019: So kick him out if he is untrustworthy and dishonest!
... (read in full...)
I have two dates and I'm not sure I want to go on a third, even though she is HOT!
Q. To start of Im a 24 year old male that hasnt been in a relationship for a long time. I still consider myself a kid at heart (or better yet immature). Ive recently went on two dates with a girl who asked me out and frankly I see no connection and s...
A. 30 October 2019: You already know what do to.
Being immature doesn't mean you are stupid, as your posts shows.
You hormones wants you to keep going in hopes for sex but your brains tell you that SHE isn't right for you and YOU aren't right for her.
If I wer... (read in full...)
Why does a guy have sex with 2 women in two sexual relationships? Has the first dropped the ball? Why is one not good enough?
Q. I'd like to know why and how a man can have a sexual relationship with two different women concurrently? Why isn't one enough? Does that mean he isn't attracted enough to the first one? Or doesn't love her enough? Or she isn't satisfying him? ...
A. 30 October 2019: If you are ONE of these two women, WHY are YOU still having sex with him if you know he is screwing around with another woman?
You can't change his attitude or behavior, but you CAN change your "bf" and HOW you react to HIS behavior.
Just du... (read in full...)
I took my boyfriend back and he hurt me physically
Q. So here I am. I took him back after dumping him for emotional abuse. This time he told me that things were going to change. A week later he was back to his same verbal abuse. This time tho I stood up to him. His five year old daughter was screaming ...
A. 30 October 2019: Don't blame the 5 year old, she is reacting to the drama around her. The dram YOU and your "hopefully ex" have created.
KIDS are little sponges that soak it all up and understand VERY little of what is going on except DADDY is mad at this woman so... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets nasty when I don't do what he wants!
Q. My boyfriend gets nasty and angry if I don't spend the night staying over with him every weekend and refuses to come over to see me and take me out for the day because I wont do what he wants which is stayover and have sex all night and day. the ...
A. 30 October 2019: Why not simply ACCEPT that you two are not a good fit?
YOU want company, do things together, get out of the house and DO what MOST couples do...
HE just wants you to deliver your vagina at his door so he can have sex on demand for the weekend.... (read in full...)
He said/she said Should the girlfriend worry about her boyfriend meeting up with a 19 year old to learn language?
Q. Dear Cupid, Background: my boyfriend has moved to my country to live with me. He does not speak the language here or have any local friends, so he is engaging in something called "language exchange". This is him meeting people who are interested t...
A. 29 October 2019: My advice (for the GF of the story) why not MEET this LE person? MY guess is if the LE was male you wouldn't give ANY of this a second thought.
Just because the LE person is female and younger than you, doesn't mean your BF will AUTOMATI... (read in full...)
Nowhere to relieve tension living in cramped quarters. What can I do?
Q. My mom, my three sisters and me live in the upstairs of our pastor's garage. People from our church built it into an apartment for us when they found out we were living in a family shelter. That was nice of them but it's got a real narrow kitchen ...
A. 29 October 2019: You now have a roof over your head and your main concern is what to do about wanking? Seriously? Those are your priorities?
Yes, it might be small but I will go ahead and presume it's FAR better than living in a family shelter. Regardless of size.... (read in full...)
3 guys are into me and I don't know what to do
Q. I'm sixteen years old and my whole life I haven't really had a real crush, and I don't think anyone except one guy has actually liked me. This year, I have three guys that all seem to really like me. Guy #1: K I've known K for forever. His broth...
A. 29 October 2019: Ask her why she think he is gross.
My youngest dated a guy her Freshman year in HS. She dumped him when he started pressuring her for sex. He was DEFINITELY a "mistake" because she later admitted that she has only agreed to dating him because ... (read in full...)
Husband’s Weight Gain and Lazy, Selfish Attitude is Ruining Our Marriage
Q. My husband and I have been married a little over a year and it has been extremely difficult. When we were dating he was so sweet and so generous, I honestly never imagined we would ever be struggling like we are now. I expected a marriage where we ...
A. 29 October 2019: My advice, STOP FUCKING giving in!
STOP picking up after him, STOP doing HIS laundry, STOP being subservient if THAT is NOT what you want.
He knows just "bullying" you into to doing it works, so YOU need to make the change in what;s going on.... (read in full...)
Co worker body shames customers
Q. I began a part time job at a fast food place where my son works to earn extra money and to keep an eye on him. (He's mildly autistic and often misunderstood). This isn't the problem. The problem is my co-worker "Xena". Yesterday, a man came in an...
A. 28 October 2019: I would just tell her that you don't find it funny or appropriate when she comments on customers and what they CHOOSE to eat. I wouldn't go into details (she KNOWS it's PETTY to do and that she does it).
If she, however, keeps doing it, take you... (read in full...)
I know it in my gut that my husband is cheating but he tells me I am paranoid, insecure and imagining things!
Q. I'm in a bad spot. Never thought I'd reach out online for help but I'm at the end of my rope. I have a strong gut feeling my husband of 5 years is cheating on me. Our relationship has been strained lately because of my anxiety. It's a doubled e...
A. 28 October 2019: Honestly, OP
This is ALL on you.
If everything you are dealing with is DUE to him and his behavior, you really only HAVE one option, letting him go. Because HE isn't going to change. And HE will NEVER EVER be able to convince you that he isn'... (read in full...)
Am I settling to accept deep compatibility and companionship and a medium level of sexual attraction?
Q. Hi all, I am looking for some advice. Basically, my question is how attracted do you need to be to your partner for a relationship to last? I’ve seen a lot of people asking questions about not being attracted at all versus intense passion, but what ...
A. 27 October 2019: Can you have sex that great with a person you aren't very attracted to? I find that questionable. It's not his personality you are have good sex with.... just saying.
So yes, HE isn't someone you look at and what to rip his clothes off. But... i... (read in full...)
Should I take a stressful promotion to help pay off my debts or stay in a less stressful role and continue to struggle?
Q. This is a work question rather than a relationship one but I’m hoping that’s ok. I have been working in my current role for about 2 years now. It is a very niche industry, in fact mine is the only company in Scotland that I could do this job in. ...
A. 27 October 2019: Only you can make this choice. After all YOU would be living with whatever YOU choose to do.
Personally? I'd take the job for that year, it if becomes TOO much I'd look into going back to the old job. But I think paying off a large amount on a stu... (read in full...)
Are we really friends?
Q. I’m soo confused I really need help! I’ve been talking to a long distance guy for a while. He challenges me really hard and normally I wouldn’t like that but there’s something when he does it I get mad but I still like it. He has more everything ...
A. 26 October 2019: I think you are both each others entertainment more than actual friends.
You said that in the beginning you two "acted" like you were dating. But that DID change when HE met a girl he can date and see in person on an almost daily basis. He no lo... (read in full...)
I want to shut the door on my affair for all the right reasons but can't seem to
Q. I know I’m going down the wrong path but I can’t find the strength to stop it. I had an affair that was on/off for 10 months with a former colleague. We were both married. I ended it both times it stopped. The second time I went as far as getting a ...
A. 25 October 2019: BLOCK, DELETE and REMOVE all ways for him to contact you.
IF he going through a place like LinkedIn, don't read the massage just DELETE it.
And TELL him, this has to stop. I want NO further contact.
And perhaps you need to consider telling... (read in full...)
My husband's illness and depression has changed him. I just want him to come home
Q. Hi everyone! So I have been with my husband for nearly 10 years and married for nearly one year. After 2 months of marriage, he got diagnosed with a life changing, incurable condition which meant he was off work for 6 months. It completely tu...
A. 25 October 2019: He is going through a HUGE event in his life. All the plans you two have had are going down the drain because of his diagnosis.
Not wanting kids (maybe because he is afraid of the genetics he carries) makes sense in the here and now.
Not wan... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of three years has a side chick and I just found out
Q. Yesterday I went out on a dinner with my boyfriend and his coworkers. His female asistant was absent. I recently started paying attention to his strange behavior, first he was watching how men stare at me, then started saying that everyone sees me ...
A. 25 October 2019: You need to find a way to walk away with the kid. Sooner rather than later.
In the meantime TRY and avoid getting caught up in his AND your own insecurities. Stop checking his phone, you already know he is a POS(piece of poop) BF so no need to ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about where we stand even though she said she's not ready for anything serious
Q. when we first met but that all ended because it was basically my own doing. Recently we hooked up after talking for a few months. Everything just seemed right. We kissed held hands and I made a slight mistake in bringing up relationships. S...
A. 25 October 2019: I fully agree with the other two aunts.
SHE is NOT looking for a relationship. She wants someone to talk to (occasionally) someone to spend time with and some intimacy (again occasionally).
She VERY WELL might like you, but she doesn't want a p... (read in full...)
Advice for dating someone deployed in the military?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating just four months. We met online and before we met, he was very upfront and honest about him joining the Navy. He just left for a 7-week bootcamp which will be followed by a 24-week training. He plans to work in IT ...
A. 25 October 2019: You two have to TALK about what is realistic.
In boot camp he might not have his phone for those 7 weeks, he might however be able to send and receive letters. Which is a LOVELY way for you two to stay in touch and get to know a little more abo... (read in full...)
Should I even try? He is not initiating contact
Q. So I need help. I met a guy and we went on a date after talking for a while. Date was good. We kiss but he wants to have sex in the back of the car and I told him I wanted to get to know him. But he licked my niple. And we spoke after that and ...
A. 25 October 2019: Nope.
You shouldn't keep trying if he isn't trying himself.
He wanted sex on the first date. He echoed you back with the "I love you" which IS a tad ridiculous after some talking and a date... Like you said, you can't LOVE someone that soo... (read in full...)
Is there a way out without destroying several lives?
Q. My former college girlfriend, who I have never stopped loving, contacted me at the end of August. Said she had left her husband of five years and planned to divorce him. We spent Labor Day weekend together at my house. After the holiday, she decided ...
A. 25 October 2019: Yikes, OP
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this dilemma at all. Some of it, however, WAS avoidable. Like a pregnancy. Unprotected sex is just foolish at your age. She could have passed on all kind of STD's and... SHE was (and still is) MARR... (read in full...)
On the first date she said she loved me, then made love to me and said she doesn't remember a thing.
Q. Would love ya’lls thoughts on the following story. This is part one of 2. I’m currently feeling drained and completely destroyed by a woman. Please help me decipher the type of woman she is and where I went wrong. Me: 38yrs old, above average...
A. 24 October 2019: I think you need to have a little more common sense, OP
Just because she is female doesn't mean this can't end badly... for you.
She sounds unstable and quite frankly toxic.
You might think you wouldn't be doing these negative things if... (read in full...)
What can I offer that porn doesn’t when porn offer endless variety
Q. I know this may seem trivial to many people but I have struggled with the issue of men and porn for many years . I have no problem with my partner noticing someone attractive we all do that but when I’m with a man and he feels the need to master ...
A. 24 October 2019: So let's approach this from another angle, OP
The men that you have encounter, who think it's appropriate to comment and praise a porn stars looks in front of a partner, - WHERE did you meet them and what WAS the circumstance that this topic ca... (read in full...)
Why didnt my colleague want me going to his house?
Q. I hsd been part of a group of people out and about patrolling anf one of the men had lent me suitcase but it took a bit of time to get it back to him simply because he didn't respond. I eventually contacted his wife to who agreed for me to drop ...
A. 23 October 2019: You colleague is weird and if I were you I'd avoid spending ANY time around him alone (in social situation).
Maybe HE thinks YOU are into him.
Maybe the wife thinks there is something going on.
Maybe his home situation is not what he... (read in full...)
What can I offer that porn doesn’t when porn offer endless variety
Q. I know this may seem trivial to many people but I have struggled with the issue of men and porn for many years . I have no problem with my partner noticing someone attractive we all do that but when I’m with a man and he feels the need to master ...
A. 23 October 2019: What can you offer that porn can't?
A REAL PERSON. Someone who is RIGHT there. Someone who can INVEST in another person, emotionally, time-wise, personally, financially etc. Someone who CARES. Someone who FEELS, thinks, exist. Someone who will lis... (read in full...)
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