Do I leave a 10 year relationship? Or settle for her?
Q. Hello all. This post is as much venting as asking for others input. The sad truth is that I have nobody to talk to. So sorry if it is long. The big life question I have is: break up with my girlfriend, or settle for her. It is more than just...
A. 6 March 2021: Glad to hear you found what was right for you and took a big leap into the unknown! Even better, it seems you are doing good!
As for the dating, I can't help. Been married for 20+ years myself and from all that I hear is that the dating is very ... (read in full...)
Should I confront him or break it off?
Q. I have been seeing him for just over two months. We have a great connection, the sex is amazing and we can talk for hours. We are comfortable around each other. It’s really great most of the time. I noticed when I started seeing him that he had ...
A. 21 September 2019: How does a guy like him (why doesn't sound physically appealing to be honest) CONTROL a younger and good looking girl? (like you) by taking her down a few notches. What he did say was that he felt you had a better connection than he did with his ex, ... (read in full...)
He's avoiding defining the relationship even though I know he likes me. How long should I keep patient?
Q. I have known this guy I am dating for only 2.5 months. I met him on vacation to Texas and then three weeks later, moved to Texas. Not to be with him but because the friends I was visiting allowed me to come live with them for a fresh start. Anyw...
A. 14 September 2019: Just slow down.
I would ask him though IF he considers the two of you exclusive or not. If he hew and hum over that question, then you know he isn't going to commit either.
While I'm not for "playing games" I would however be a little LESS av... (read in full...)
Does she see me a just a work colleague or a friend as well?
Q. a female student has started working at a company. I work for and has been with us for a month and a half. she’s funny, a bit of a barbie and not the brightest bulb in the lamp. despite this, she’s well liked by the staff. since she has started ...
A. 9 September 2019: Sorry you didn't get the answer you wanted.
No one is out to get you. What you got was advice BASED on what you wrote.
There are NO indications that she WANTS more than being polite. Sometimes you just don't get what YOU want.
That's life.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex?
Q. is is normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex because that is how my boyfriend is and I give him lots of sex five times a day every weekend. I feel like his constant pressure is starting to put me off him and sex ...
A. 9 September 2019: I don't think it's "normal" either. NOR is it OK.
What he is doing making you FEEL like sex is a punishment not something enjoyable to SHARE.
If he is your age (so 40+) he ought to know better than being an abusive sex pest. The thing is, it... (read in full...)
What can I put in a letter to my ex to make me feel better?
Q. A while ago, I broke up with my first boyfriend after a 18 month long relationship. We, unfortunately, went to the same school and so I had to be around him for a year. Within 3 months, he found a new girl, who acted very oddly towards me, fairly ...
A. 8 September 2019: Don't write him a letter.
WRITE yourself a letter. Make a journal, write down what you feel, come back to it a week or month later and reevaluate what you wrote.
And LET him go. The new GF probably was told all kind of lies about you, same ... (read in full...)
Does she see me a just a work colleague or a friend as well?
Q. a female student has started working at a company. I work for and has been with us for a month and a half. she’s funny, a bit of a barbie and not the brightest bulb in the lamp. despite this, she’s well liked by the staff. since she has started ...
A. 7 September 2019: ERRR
EDIT:
DON'T be creepy....... (read in full...)
Does she see me a just a work colleague or a friend as well?
Q. a female student has started working at a company. I work for and has been with us for a month and a half. she’s funny, a bit of a barbie and not the brightest bulb in the lamp. despite this, she’s well liked by the staff. since she has started ...
A. 7 September 2019: Look OP,
ID she wanted to get to know you better, SHE would try an initiate conversations with you, she hasn't, so TAKE that as a CLUE as to her NOT being interested.
Saying hello in the morning, fixing a cup of tea and saying see you later...... (read in full...)
Second cousin is pregnant with my child. How do we tell family, and what about the doctor?
Q. My second cousin and I always been close. We are the same age (I am six months older). When we were teenagers, we did experiment with each other sexually. But that never impacted our relationship in a negative way. We always hung out on the weeke...
A. 6 September 2019: I agree, why not just marry her?
The family will either accept it or not. But the child is there, and needs to both of you.
I don't think the family will be ALL that surprised if you two were sneaking around when younger. You might think you ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to dress up as a horse!
Q. My husband wants me to dress up as a horse ?! We have been married nearly 20 years and had a “normal” sex life with regular loving sex. The most adventurous we do is phone sex and I do enjoy it. I ride horses and wear jodhpurs all the time - he jok...
A. 6 September 2019: Well, Ye haww!
Is this something you WANT to try? Or not?
Because there are plenty of "things" sexually that you can try with a loving partner, enjoy with a loving partner that doesn't make you go WTF?!
Maybe it's something you two can ex... (read in full...)
Can a relationship work and last if it began with an affair?
Q. It’s messy it’s complicated but I need advice. I started working in a local bar about 8 months ago. I’m 24 and when I started working there I met a man he’s 40. It started as friendly. He would always advise me on customers and always told me ...
A. 6 September 2019: Statistically speaking, your chances for a healthy and long relationship that began as an affair is WAY low.
Personally, I think he is playing you. You are young and without much experience. He knows EXACTLY what buttons to push to get you to a... (read in full...)
Girlfriend still hanging with ex-FWB
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months. In the beginning of our relationship she was still seeing her FWB, but 2 weeks in we decided to become exclusive. She originally wanted a relationship with the guy before, but he didn't. They weren't ...
A. 6 September 2019: I agree with YouWish,
You are the "placeholder" BF. She will drop you like a rock IF at ANY time this "FWB" guy decides that he "might" want to date her.
IT isn't YOU she wants, it's him.
SHE is using you to try and "convince" the "FWB" guy... (read in full...)
How do I communicate with my boyfriend about how I feel towards this topic?
Q. Hello, I am a 23 year old female and my boyfriend is 26. Recently I feel like my boyfriend has been acting strange. I have noticed some changes. He is a really nice guy and good to me and my family. He is also good with his family as well. A littl...
A. 6 September 2019: Did you ask him WHY he is worried about those things?
Being a a pedophile or rapist are two VERY specific thing. I don't think anyone CHANGES into being a pedophile. Either someone has a sexual preference for children or they don't. And either s... (read in full...)
Does she see me a just a work colleague or a friend as well?
Q. a female student has started working at a company. I work for and has been with us for a month and a half. she’s funny, a bit of a barbie and not the brightest bulb in the lamp. despite this, she’s well liked by the staff. since she has started ...
A. 6 September 2019: I think you should keep being polite and professional at work, NO MORE.
She is obviously much younger than you, and not interested.
You don't NEED to try and be her friend or Facebook friend.
If you want to make new friends, look for them o... (read in full...)
My parents are ruining my college experience before it even begins!
Q. My parents always made me go to Mass, even when I was sick. Once, I had strep throat and they had the priest come to our house to talk to me when all I wanted to do was sleep! Their church isnt the modern day Catholic church, they do everything like ...
A. 5 September 2019: How can you get them to give you more freedon and teat you like an adult?
BY acting like one.
You whole post sounds like a spoiled little kid that isn't getting what SHE wants.
I get that you are 18, but your PARENTS are the ones paying for ... (read in full...)
Do you think he’s met someone else or just gone off me or is he busy?
Q. So I'm very confused and wondering what you would do? Should I just forget him and move on (I dont want to) or ask him where we stand or do nothing? Or any other advise... So I met this guy we just hit it off...I'm newly quite single and not s...
A. 4 September 2019: It could be anything really.
I would just stop and back off. If you keep texting him, it will become this one way thing, which you don't want.
I DO think he is worried that he is a rebound. Maybe he is pulling back a little to figure out where... (read in full...)
He's avoiding defining the relationship even though I know he likes me. How long should I keep patient?
Q. I have known this guy I am dating for only 2.5 months. I met him on vacation to Texas and then three weeks later, moved to Texas. Not to be with him but because the friends I was visiting allowed me to come live with them for a fresh start. Anyw...
A. 3 September 2019: Maybe he is just being "smart" here.
Honestly, If I had meet someone on vacation and they then moved to my state, I'd put on the breaks too. Especially someone who kind of was a holiday fling.
If I were you, I'd focus MORE on REBUILDING your ... (read in full...)
"Only time will tell." A good or bad sign for us getting back together?
Q. I have a boyfriend who broke up with me because we never had the time to see each other which was true but I want him back no matter what it take I’ve decided to change the things I needed to to be the best me possible and I asked him will there ...
A. 3 September 2019: I think it's a very vague "I don't want to hurt your feelings" non-committal kind of answer. It's a little bit of a IF I can't date someone else or don't find another girl, I "might" maybe date you. Which is NOT a great sign.
If you are 16-17 yo... (read in full...)
She was texting and working during our date and seems to be ghosting me! Do I go on our next date?
Q. About a week ago I went out with a girl that I dated and was intimate with for 5 months a year ago. We drifted apart as she moved to another state but remained in contact during that year apart, texting and calling on and off. She's now moved ...
A. 31 August 2019: I'd block her and move on to someone else.
It's OK to be REALLY into your work, but to bring a laptop on a date and be on phone and laptop while "sorta" having a date it's just not OK.
And then he cancelled the movie date with her being "sick"... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend might be married. What should I do?
Q. I think my new boyfriend might be married and I have no idea how to bring up the subject. We've been together for almost three months and while things have been good, some of his behaviour has always been a bit off. Nothing I can put my finger on, ...
A. 31 August 2019: Would I wait to see IF he EVER decided to tell me?
HECK NO!
Have you looked him up on social media? If not, why not? I'd start there.
The fact that you HINTED at your "research" and he ignored it, doesn't it tell you that unless you ASK stra... (read in full...)
I feel insecure about the wait in our long distance relationship
Q. hello, me and my girlfriend are in an Long distance relationship and talk online. her parents make her study and have taken all form of communication to me away from her and she can barley say 1 word to me per day. she said itd be over in around 10 ...
A. 27 August 2019: How many times have you met in person already?
What age is she?
If you are to HAVE any kind of future it IS important that she does well in her studies. You know this. I get that talking is also important but if it has had an affect on her st... (read in full...)
When a woman gets older does she just need to accept that her partner doesn't find her hot?
Q. I’m around 50 and try to take good care of my appearance . My partner seems pretty disinterested in me yet is very interested and turned on by women in porn in their 20s. I understand that self esteem in an internal thing and that’s not really what ...
A. 26 August 2019: Biologically, MEN want women it their 20's. It's a fact of nature.
Women are the most fertile and have a higher rate of successful pregnancies. Another fact of nature.
However, that doesn't mean you can't BE appreciated by your partner at age 5... (read in full...)
I don't understand why my ex does the things that she does
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me back in January. We have seen one another on and off all on her terms when she wants to meet up, when she wants to speak etc. We went away for a weekend together and ended up having sex. We then went away on holiday ...
A. 26 August 2019: You let her pull your strings even after she told you she doesn't WANT a relationship with you.
YOU give her ACCESS to your life and your mind.
IF you two are OVER, CUT all contact, BLOCK all means of contact and WORK on moving on.
She is ME... (read in full...)
Do I leave a 10 year relationship? Or settle for her?
Q. Hello all. This post is as much venting as asking for others input. The sad truth is that I have nobody to talk to. So sorry if it is long. The big life question I have is: break up with my girlfriend, or settle for her. It is more than just...
A. 26 August 2019: Thank you for your update and I totally understand that YOUR safety is priority. While locations would perhaps give some clarity it's not worth YOU feeling unsafe here.
Have you considered that if you move out and live on your own you might ha... (read in full...)
Can a relationship develop with a girl from a different country I’ve only met once?
Q. Hi all. I was at my friend’s wedding last weekend here in the Uk and I met one of his friend’s at a house party after. She was from the States and we must have spent about 4 hours talking. In my mind we got on really well and she has been on my mind ...
A. 26 August 2019: She has make ZERO effort to see you again or talk further. LET it go.
I think you presume that a 4 hours conversation at a WEDDING means it's a sure thing.
You were are a wedding (which is an emotional and happy event) YOU were paying her atten... (read in full...)
Should I pursue a formal, legal route over what happened to me when I was younger?
Q. I need help please, about something that has confused me for 36 years and which I am only now able to speak about. When I was 15 I agreed to have sex with an 18 year old male. This has, one way or another, plagued me all my life. I am now...
A. 26 August 2019: OP, you had a traumatic childhood, to a point.
I would definitely talk to a therapist about that and work through it.
But accusing a man of rape 35+ year later because you have come to the conclusion that you didn't really want sex at 1... (read in full...)
Nervous about returning to abusive husband
Q. When my husband gets jealous he sometimes assaults me and becomes very intimidating and threatening to me and I get very scared. It’s even worse when he’s been drinking alcohol. I have been with him for nearly 8 years and he had jealous rages wi...
A. 22 August 2019: No one should call you stupid for having stayed. In a perfect World no one would be abused or abuse, in a perfect World walking away from an unsafe relationship would be easy.
But it's NOT a perfect World.
You can't fix an abusive man with... (read in full...)
He's ready to settle, but I love having my own life. What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years. We met at uni. When I met him, I had just come home from New Zealand. It was the 3rd country I’d worked in in three years, and I was ready to settle in one place for a while and study. We were ...
A. 21 August 2019: I can see both sides here. I did some travelling before, in the middle and after my studies as well. Had I not met my husband (of 20+ years) I would probably have gone back to travelling a bit more.
However, YOU TWO want different things. He wants... (read in full...)
Ways to deal with hunger when trying to lose weight
Q. ive recently decided to stop going to weight watchers as I no longer enjoy it so I think its pointless me paying money for it but I do find myself feeling very hungry throughout the day and sometimes comfort eating, im aiming to go exercise more...
A. 21 August 2019: Water.
I know it sounds simple but drinking ENOUGH water also helps curve the "hunger". I start the day by drinking 20 oz of water( 2 1/2 cups). Basically to re hydrate my body. I prefer my water with ice and to be REALLY cold, you might prefer a... (read in full...)
I want to volunteer but worry abut my dad's opinion and don't know how to research
Q. i want to do some volunteering overseas next year and i know i definitely want to do this but some obstacles that i feel will get in the way is my dads opinions and thoughts on where i should go , how long for and doing what , he doesn't mean to ...
A. 21 August 2019: Why not LISTEN to what he suggests? Take his input and see where that takes you?
As far as volunteering "overseas" - well it sounds good, but WHAT do you WANT to volunteer doing?
Teaching language? Digging wells? Sick people? Cleaning ocean? ... (read in full...)
Do I leave a 10 year relationship? Or settle for her?
Q. Hello all. This post is as much venting as asking for others input. The sad truth is that I have nobody to talk to. So sorry if it is long. The big life question I have is: break up with my girlfriend, or settle for her. It is more than just...
A. 21 August 2019: No one have an EASY solution, OP
Could you perhaps add your country of origin and where you live now? Would that be safe for you?
Because YES, as someone who has ALSO moved around different countries I know it's not easy, but I might also have ... (read in full...)
Does my partner have the right to know about the details of my therapy sessions?
Q. Hi. I won't bore you with too many details. Just want to know if you think it is appropriate for your spouse/partner to ask you about the details of your therapy sessions? I was diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD. I have begun counselling rece...
A. 20 August 2019: No, of course not.
I think it's fine to tell him you have nothing to share with him, yet. And it's fine to say that you are working on yourself and that you feel that happens between the therapist and yourself.
At some point your therapist M... (read in full...)
I'm upset that he stopped during sex and blamed my noise. Am I overreacting?
Q. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for a couple of months so yesterday I tried to get things started. While we were in the middle of doing it he kept putting his hand over my mouth, I thought it was like some sort of dominance thing because he...
A. 20 August 2019: If you weren't all of a sudden screaming or making really loud noises, there is something else going on.
If he drinks daily, do you not think there is something else going on?
I mean I GET having a drink with friend or with a meal - MAYBE a c... (read in full...)
What are the best ways to approach and meet new people?
Q. I have never had a boyfriend and sometimes I will admit it can upset me and sometimes im not too bothered about it . I had had guys show an interest in me in the past but most of the time id mess it up and was scared of getting to close so it didn't ...
A. 20 August 2019: Don't use DATING sites to meet NEW friends. That is not what they are for. Most people on dating sites are LOOKING to date or hook up.. NOT making friends or entertainment for other people (like you) the "lookie-loos".
Use group meetups in your ... (read in full...)
How to deal with my feelings when I see the friend I lost
Q. I still miss someone who I used to be friends with and it has been two years , I just want advice on how to deal with my sadness when I see her . she never told she didn't want to be my friend any longer but it was our mutual friend who told ...
A. 20 August 2019: Just be polite, say hi and don't TRY and TALK to her about the past. She is CLEARLY over the friendship and you have to respect and accept that. If she doesn't WANT to say hi, just keep moving. I don't think there is any reasons to be rude for ... (read in full...)
Will he come back to me again after taking space?
Q. I met a wonderful guy a few months ago and we hit it off immediately. He told me that I was everything he ever wanted in a relationship and I felt the same. He has a young son (3) with his ex girlfriend and I was introduced to him a couple weeks ago ...
A. 20 August 2019: He might not WANT to hurt you but seriously, OP does it seem like he truly CARES of he does hurt you?
Someone who can DUMP you for an ex that he KNOWS isn't a good partner or match to him, is not really thinking straight. NOR does he know what he ... (read in full...)
Would a man be put off by a woman in her 30s if she isn't that worldly?
Q. I had a general question about men and their opinion on women they date and the amount of life Experience they have or expect them to have ? I am in my 30’s have been abroad a couple of times but by no means much, I have had a small handful of...
A. 20 August 2019: Some men MIGHT be put off by it, many wouldn't.
And CERTAINLY not all men are "worldly" themselves.
If you "think" you ONLY want to BE with a "worldly" man, then maybe consider someone whether they WOULD be a good fit with you.
I would... (read in full...)
Nervous about returning to abusive husband
Q. When my husband gets jealous he sometimes assaults me and becomes very intimidating and threatening to me and I get very scared. It’s even worse when he’s been drinking alcohol. I have been with him for nearly 8 years and he had jealous rages wi...
A. 20 August 2019: Why would you return to him, OP?
What makes makes you think HE won't hurt you again?
If you already left, make it final and divorce him. NO ONE deserved a violent or abusive partner. NO ONE.
And people who have been violent with a partner d... (read in full...)
Are these signs that he wants to talk?
Q. We both work together in different departments and when I do go to his department he does say hi and ask how I am, he has once or twice greeted me as "hey friend", also has high-fived me on doing a good job with a client. I dont notice him looking ...
A. 20 August 2019: I think he is mainly trying to be friendly.
Work romances are rarely a good idea, because if it doesn't work out it gets awkward not just for two people but for all those around them.
Is he like this around other people too?
... (read in full...)
Brother's friend might have a crush on me. What should I do?
Q. So basically I think my brother's friend has a crush on me he's two years older than me every time he comes over he starts acting weird around me for instance he avoids eye contact with me and then whenever he gets near me or around me he gets ...
A. 20 August 2019: Ignore it.
He might be attracted to you, but his friendship with your brother IS more important to him.
Also, dating your brother's friend(s)s is rare a good thing.
... (read in full...)
I'm upset that he stopped during sex and blamed my noise. Am I overreacting?
Q. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for a couple of months so yesterday I tried to get things started. While we were in the middle of doing it he kept putting his hand over my mouth, I thought it was like some sort of dominance thing because he...
A. 20 August 2019: I have to ask HOW noisy?
Is it something "new" YOU are trying out?
Or were you always a "screamer"?
If it is NOT something new, then he really didn't want sex. Which begs the question of why, sleeping on the sofa? Why?
Sounds like he h... (read in full...)
Do I leave a 10 year relationship? Or settle for her?
Q. Hello all. This post is as much venting as asking for others input. The sad truth is that I have nobody to talk to. So sorry if it is long. The big life question I have is: break up with my girlfriend, or settle for her. It is more than just...
A. 19 August 2019: If I were you I'd start saving up to leave her.
I think it would be a mistakes to stay. You might need therapy, but in your case you are a "hostage" with nowhere to go and place to call home. You NEED to accept that YOU deserve better than thi... (read in full...)
Is mutual masturbation with random online women cheating on my wife of 10 years?
Q. I've been married for 10 years. I love my wife dearly and our sex life is still very much alive and well. The problem is I used to go into chat rooms before I met her. It involved video exchanges with random women. I used to pay for it but once that ...
A. 19 August 2019: I'm with Youcannotbeserious
If you think it would be OK for your wife to do the SAME thing, then maybe it's not cheating per se, but the fact that you HIDE it from her means you know it's NOT OK.
It's bad excuse that you "know" your wife too we... (read in full...)
Should I confront him or break it off?
Q. I have been seeing him for just over two months. We have a great connection, the sex is amazing and we can talk for hours. We are comfortable around each other. It’s really great most of the time. I noticed when I started seeing him that he had ...
A. 19 August 2019: Why is it ANY of your business what he posted on his social media BEFORE he even met you?
Most people do not SCRUB their social media when meeting someone new. The EX is part of his life. One that he is hopefully done with. YOU stalking his ex's... (read in full...)
I think my parents are treating me unfairly for shoplifting
Q. do you think I desrve to be punished this severely for shoplifting ? 3 days ago I got caught shoplifting,as the shopkeeper knows my mum he called her instead of the police he told her he expected me to be punished, my mum promished the shopkeeper I ...
A. 18 August 2019: Just block the posts? Obviously not written my a 23 year old in need of advice...
Mods?... (read in full...)
I think my parents are treating me unfairly for shoplifting
Q. do you think I desrve to be punished this severely for shoplifting ? 3 days ago I got caught shoplifting,as the shopkeeper knows my mum he called her instead of the police he told her he expected me to be punished, my mum promished the shopkeeper I ...
A. 17 August 2019: Well, the answer is easy.
Don't do CRIME if you can't do the time.
Yes, I think it's MORE than fair punishment. I mean since when is stealing OK? And how stupid are you to STEAL from someone who is a family friend and expect to get away with it... (read in full...)
Will he come back to me again after taking space?
Q. I met a wonderful guy a few months ago and we hit it off immediately. He told me that I was everything he ever wanted in a relationship and I felt the same. He has a young son (3) with his ex girlfriend and I was introduced to him a couple weeks ago ...
A. 17 August 2019: He is wasting your time.
Someone who will DROP you at the tip of a hat for an EX he didn't get along with (regardless of the "for the kid" excuse) will drop you AS SOON AS he sees someone "better".
You don't DATE someone to get "space from them... (read in full...)
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