A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Now, I know what 99% of people are going to think, but I love her. I'm 18 and she's 16.We were together for just over 2 months (yeah, not exactly the longest relationship I know but I fell for her fast). Things were going great, she was the one dropped the "L-Bomb" first, and I was over the moon because I felt the same.Anyways, we went to Spain with my parents and things seemed to be going great, I was so so happy. But we got back and went to a birthday party the same day, and she got drunk and told me she just wasn't attracted to me anymore. I was destroyed.Later, I found out that my 'friend' (who is also her ex) had taken her to one side when he found out we'd split and basically buttered her up using all the old clichés, and being drunk, she said that she wasn't sure if she still had feelings for him. When I found out, she said she'd made a mistake saying that, because she didn't think it was true when she'd sobered up.Also, I found out another of her ex's who she was still friends with had kissed her when we first got together. My ex pulled away because she didn't have feelings for him anymore. I understand it wasn't her, or my, fault.But she recently got back from holiday and I asked her how she now felt, and she said she hadn't changed. We talked, and she said she still has feelings for me because we'd gotten so close but she just couldn't be with me anymore. Also, we've decided to both be single and see what happens further down the line. I hope it's just a phase but I've prepared myself for the worst.So my question is, how and what do I do to win her over? I'm crazy in love with this girl and I don't wanna give up on her because I know I have it in me to make her see I'm worth it.I treated her like a princess, I'd buy her things, pay for cinema tickets, wait on her hand-and-foot and she'd do the same so I know there's SOMETHING still there. Please. Help me.
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous  +, writes (15 August 2007):
Yep. Stop. Those relationships that start off fast with people saying their in love withing a month or two tend to crash just as fast in most cases.
Walk away and see if she walks away too or follows you and tries to catch up to walk with you. If she decides to walk away too, then just keep walking.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): Danielepew said it all. Good Job!!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 August 2007):
 I'll be a bit harsh because I know for a fact that the bare truth is always best.
The little bit SOMETHING that you are missing is this: she doesn't feel the same as you do. If she loved you the way you loved her, you'd be together. The very best for your is to stop chasing her and move on. It's good you have prepared yourself for the worst, because the worst is about to happen.
A relationship isn't something that just happens down the line. It is a bond that two people create every day if both are willing to create it. If she is not willing to do her side of the job, then it will not be created, because that takes two and only one, yourself, is working.
A very hard truth to learn is that you can never win someone by giving her presents, things, paying tickets, et cetera. That is all secondary. See it this way: you love her; would you dump her if she didn't buy you any of this? So, there you have it. It's not that these things don't have any value, but they are useless to get love. Love is something people give you if they want to. You can't make someone fall in love with you.
I think your best course of action is to stop chasing her and see if she comes your way. If she does, well, you'll have every right to be exultant; if she doesn't, well, you'll be free. It's a win-win situation.
I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry for you.
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