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His night time habits are hurting me and I feel used, please help!

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 March 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2006)
A female , *ouisealls writes:

hi

My partner and I are going through a really bad patch and arguing frequently about sexual problems.

The main problem is my partner has nocturnal emissions every night and i feel hurt the next day, we argue and then it starts again.

He also comes really quick when we have sex and it feels meaningless to me and i feel used.

If anyone has any advice i would be really greatful because we cant go on like this

thanks

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A female reader, chickenzgomoo +, writes (31 March 2006):

I can't help you with his night time habits, but perhaps I can help you with the second bit. My boyfriend also cums prematurely. But this is easily solved. We just have sex more than once, sometimes even 3 times. Usually the first time I will simply give him head, effectively getting him off fast & easy (about 15 seconds) and it turns me on as well, prepping me for sex.

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A female reader, chickenzgomoo +, writes (31 March 2006):

I can't help you with his night time habits, but perhaps I can help you with the second bit. My boyfriend also cums prematurely. But this is easily solved. We just have sex more than once, sometimes even 3 times. Usually the first time I will simply give him head, effectively getting him off fast & easy (about 15 seconds) and it turns me on as well, prepping me for sex.

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A female reader, chickenzgomoo +, writes (31 March 2006):

I can't help you with his night time habits, but perhaps I can help you with the second bit. My boyfriend also cums prematurely. But this is easily solved. We just have sex more than once, sometimes even 3 times. Usually the first time I will simply give him head, effectively getting him off fast & easy (about 15 seconds) and it turns me on as well, prepping me for sex :)

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (29 March 2006):

willywombat agony auntWhoops hit the cap lock and forgot to add the websites.

http://www.sexhealth.org/problems/premature.shtml

http://www.webmd.com/content/article/53/61404.htm

http://www.end-premature-ejaculation-now.com/

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (29 March 2006):

willywombat agony auntYour partner is having *wet dreams* to use a phrase that springs to mind. If he is asleep whilst this is happening then he has no control over it. In fact I think it is pretty unfair of you to have a go at him about it. It is only natural after all. It would be like asking you to stop having dreams, it is beyond his control. It is silly and quite unfair of you to get wound up over this....sorry.

On the other hand, his being a LITTLE TRIGGER HAPPY CAN BE RECTIFIED WITH HELP. bUT YOU NEED TO BE SUPPORTIVE AND NOT *BLAME* HIM FOR THIS PROBLEM AS THAT CAN MAKE MATTERS WORSE STILL. hAVE A LOOK ON A COUPLE OF THESE WEBSITES FOR IDEAS.

gOOD LUCK.

XXX

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A female reader, Sexybum United Kingdom +, writes (29 March 2006):

Sexybum agony auntRight then I stick with my original advice. You really need to go get some professional advice for his nocturnal emmisions, I think you should go with him and hear what the doc has to say, because it will help you understand as well. I also still think that you care a lot about him and it would be such a shame for your love to be spoilt over this. That is why I suggested marriage counselling- pherhaps try and find one that helps with sexual matters, pherhaps your docter can advise one. If not then do your research on the internet.

It sounds as if its beginning to casue a strain between you two, because while you're feeling used... If its a medical condition then he can't help it... And he probably feels quite helpless and guilty as well. You need to work together and gain your advice together in order for you both to understand and appreciate each others points of view on the situation.

Hope this has been helpful, Sexybum x

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A female reader, louisealls +, writes (29 March 2006):

louisealls is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hi

sorry basically he is coming during the night , every night but saying he knows nothing about it

thanks

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A female reader, Sexybum United Kingdom +, writes (29 March 2006):

Sexybum agony auntHave you thought about going to a marriage counsellor, there seems to be issues here that need to be confronted, and it could be more beneficial if done in a professional manner.

I can't reallt give you any more advice because I don't know what nocturnal emmisions are.... If you could explain?

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