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... Send *ammi star a private message | | | *ammi star's profile:Hey :) I'm 25, in a relationship with someone who I knew for years before we got together and have an 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship. I've been through some really tough times but I'm in a good place right now and feel I can use my bad experiences to advise others. Feel free to message me, honest advice always! |
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| Latest articles: The answer to all your problems (well most) right here!
This question has 17 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 January 2011: I don't know about you guys but there are some questions I see time and time again. How 'bout we answer some of those questions right here and hope that anyone about to post the same question has a quick look at the articles first? 1. Why won't h...
All I want for christmas...
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 December 2010: I hold my hands up to usually being quite shallow at christmas. Yes, I know it should all be about spending time with the people you love and while that's something i enjoy and look forward to, I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of failing to ...
Think before you jump, because there might be a good reason
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 February 2010: Okay so this valentines was the first one for my bf and I. I've known him for years but we only got together 10 months ago and I was determined to make it special. So valentines week comes around and he's having serious money problems (as was I to...
Why are women labelled as "shallow" if they voice their opinions on their partners appearance yet men can judge women entirely on their looks?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 November 2009: So my bf knew I didn't like facial hair on guys and found it unattractive. He grew a beard. I had to admit though that with his messy mop of dark hair it actually really suited him and he looks great. My bf knows I hate long hair on guys. So he an...
Becoming more than FWB
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
15 September 2009: I see a lot of questions on here about people who are stuck in the FWB situation and often they want to know if there's a chance of becoming more. Most of the answers tell them that no, there isn't so I wanted to share my story. When I was in my la...
The reality of being a teen mum
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 August 2009: I see a lot of young girls on here who want to become mothers so I thought I'd share a few thoughts on the reality of becoming a teenage mum. I was 16 when I fell pregnant, my boyfriend 18. I'd just finished my GCSE's and planned to go back to schoo...
Being yourself :)
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2009: I only wrote an article a little while ago but I like sharing little bits of life so here we go with another one! And by the way, I'm talking about men but obviously the same applies with women :) I often ask my male friends for advice. Every so...
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Are man boobs a deal breaker or not?
Q. hi girls if you met a guy who you found attractive and he done it for you in all ways but you take off his shirt and see small man boobs(i had a picture but the mods wont let me link them) ala the size of a teens early breast growth,you can only ...
A. 9 February 2011: Please don't feel that you should resort to surgery over this! While I appreciate that may be an option for some people I really think it's a desperate last resort.
Putting your time and effort into learning to love your body would be a much bett... (read in full...)
Are man boobs a deal breaker or not?
Q. hi girls if you met a guy who you found attractive and he done it for you in all ways but you take off his shirt and see small man boobs(i had a picture but the mods wont let me link them) ala the size of a teens early breast growth,you can only ...
A. 9 February 2011: Wouldn't bother me. If you like a guy enough to be taking his clothes of then you sure as hell aren't going to care about a minor detail like this! :)... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to be paid for helping with my child
Q. Ok.. this may get long winded so bare with me.. I am hoping some1 can either tell me im stupid or make me feel better. My girlfriend and I have been living together for 1 year. I have a child and she has help w/ the child by getting him from school ...
A. 9 February 2011: I don't think you should pay her any money. Your friends are right, she knew you had a child when she got with you. You and your child are a package, she can't have one without the other and I think it's disgusting that she's asking for money for ... (read in full...)
My wife's ego-devastating details of her sex life with her former Latin lover have led me to have terrible feelings of inadequacy and resentment...
Q. I am in need of some advice. Background: I have been married to my wife for 13 years. She ended things with her previous boyfriend to start dating me. Shortly after we became intimate she implied that her former Latin lover (almost every wo...
A. 9 February 2011: Well you actually did ask her didn't you. You asked her how your size compared to her last partner which left the door open for her to discuss anything about him as she clearly thought you were comfortable with knowing these details as some couples ... (read in full...)
She wants to take a "Mommy Break". Would getting her a weekend by herself for V-Day be unromantic?
Q. Would it be horribly un-romantic for me to book a beachfront room for my wife to take a 2-day getaway by herself, as a Valentines Day gift? She has been talking about wanting to take a "mommy break" as in, get away for a couple days to relax, read, ...
A. 7 February 2011: I don't think it's unromantic I think it's lovely that you want to spoil your wife and I hope that some of the men reading this take note!
However she might be hoping to spend some time with you for valentines day. With young children you prob... (read in full...)
How to split when you live together with no damage done?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months we broke up 6 months ago and got back together a month and a half later and moved in together. But he is so controlling and such a hypocrite I can't take it he want me to qit my job so I got a second job just ...
A. 7 February 2011: If you really believe that this man will become violent to you then yes, move your stuff out when he's not around but don't wait around to talk to him. Give him time to calm down and then meet him somewhere public or wherever you're staying with ... (read in full...)
Why can't he tell me if I'm his girlfriend or just a friend with benefits?
Q. Ive been seeing this guy for 2 months and weve been having sex for one month but whenever i start talking serious about a relationship or ask what i am to him he freezes up. why cant he just tell me if im his girlfriend or if im just a friend with ...
A. 7 February 2011: If you're saying to him 'where is this going' then he's going to freak out, you haven't even been together very long. That said, you do have a right to know if this is just about the sex or if he's hoping to become more. Ask him outright, don't make ... (read in full...)
I'm never even given a chance by a girl, and I'm getting desperate!
Q. I don't even know where to begin, but this is what i feel. I'll try to keep it short and to the point. It's like I have no future. For years i've tryed to be as positive as I can around girls, I have many different types friends in many circles....
A. 4 February 2011: okay so it sounds like you've had it tough but you are young, please don't be assuming your future is just you all alone at 40! You haven't met the right girl yet and that sucks but I think there's a lot more to it than that. You sound desperate so ... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can learn to open up of my own accord?
Q. The other night my boyfriend said he sometimes gets upset because I'm not very good at saying what I feel about things. He gave the example of us moving in together - we've been talking about it a lot lately but he said everytime he asks me about ...
A. 4 February 2011: Now that he's brought it to your attention you will have more self awarness and you will realise when you're not opening up enough. I know you don't think that now but you will.
Don't force it, just keep it in the back of your mind and remind your... (read in full...)
Eenie Meeney Miney Mo Which one should I date?
Q. Should i go for a new girl at my college of same ethnic group, or accept the love of next girl, or try for my ex-gf or continue on going relationship with my girlfriend despite of she being in relation with next guy?...
A. 4 February 2011: Well it sounds to me that you're not really that into any of these girls and you just want to be with one of them (any of them!) just for the sake of being with someone.
Why don't you wait until you meet someone you really like and actually want... (read in full...)
It is normal that I'm attracted to men twice my age?
Q. Is it normal (from a psychological point of view), that I am attracted to older men in their 40' s . Not all of them , it all the depends on their level of maturity. The way they talk about life , their experience ..It moves me in a way that no ...
A. 4 February 2011: 'normal' has a different meaning with different people. We each have our own ideas and preferences and there's nothing wrong with the fact that you like older men! As long as you don't act on it with anybody who's married then I say good for you ... (read in full...)
Can you control your dreams?
Q. Hi, I had a dream a few days ago about a guy i like. He lives in a different country and i just came back from visiting him. In the dream i felt close to him. I've been missing him a lot. I'm sure he likes me but i'm not sure how much. That one...
A. 4 February 2011: Well I usually find that I often end up dreaming about whatever or whoever I was thinking about right before sleep. I know you say that's what you've been doing but try talking to him on the phone or reading a letter he's sent you, look at a picture ... (read in full...)
I dreamed I'm going off my boyfriend. Does that mean that I really am?
Q. Last week I dreamt that me and my boyfriend was shopping for food and in my dream he started to try and kiss me, i felt sick and tried to pull away as if i was repulsed by the thought...i am worried it's a sign i'm going off my boyfriend but when i ...
A. 4 February 2011: It's just a dream, don't read too much into it. A lot of people believe that dreams do have meanings but they're rarely that straight forward. For instance a dream about losing your teeth has nothing to do with that actually happening but in fact ... (read in full...)
How do you make a friend to a stud when you aren't attracted to him?
Q. Hi any women reading this. Say you have a really lovely guy friend that you are close to. You don't feel sexually attracted to him. 1. How would he have to be so that you wouldn't object to having sex with him (physically, mentally, emotio...
A. 4 February 2011: If there's no attraction there, no spark then you can't force it. I'm sorry but if she doesn't feel that way for you then accept her friendship and focus your attentions on finding a girl that you do have a spark with.... (read in full...)
10 Things Guys really want in a woman...
Q. I received a message from a friend on my Facebook fan page and she had an idea for a post for my blog. She inquired if I could write about what men want in a woman. I thought that this might be interesting as well, so I responded to her message and ...
A. 3 February 2011: Well written and well informed. I found this so interesting and really enjoyed reading it. I'd like to see a similar article from a female point of view of what women want in men. I think a lot of guys would find that interesting. Now there's an ... (read in full...)
Why did he stop running back to me?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend and now he has a gilfriend. I'm fuming because she's prettier and nicer then me. All of our mutual friends adore her. She's nice to me to and that pisses me off. How could my boyfriend move on from me so fast?!!! He ...
A. 3 February 2011: Is this a joke?? What's she got that you haven't? Hmm, lets see...she obviously treats him with love and respect!
You don't really want him, you just don't want anyone else to have him either.
Why would you want to be in an on/off relation... (read in full...)
How can we start being civil with each other following the break-up?
Q. Confused by my ex! My ex and i spilt at the start of the year we had been together 7 yrs got a 2 yr old and a 6 yr old. There had been a few issues regarding trust and i had discovered he had bought someone a dress via the internet in october ...
A. 2 February 2011: This is such an irresponsible way for him to be behaving in front of your children. Have you decided things are definitly over or is there a chance of a reconciliation? I think you need to have a proper chat with him and get everything out in the ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for my girlfriend to be kissing her female friends?
Q. hey guys i have soemthing to ask you all is it okay when the girls kinda kiss each other, not with tongue though, but just kissing, my girlfriend is doin this with her friends and its really pissing me off :S i always tell her to stop doin it but...
A. 2 February 2011: What do you mean by kiss? If you mean a quick peck on the lips then I really don't see what you're getting so upset about...
anything more than that and yes, you're entitled to want her to stop!... (read in full...)
How do I give up and not be so crazy when it comes to him?
Q. I need help getting over my ex we were together for 5 years and during that time he got one of my ex friends pregnant.and.than cheated on me after. A lot happened after that and he drove me crazy I because obsessed with checking to see where he was ...
A. 2 February 2011: It's not going to be easy, despite everything he did he was a part of your life for a long time. You're right, you deserve to be happy. This man has stopped you being happy once while you were with him, are you going to let him continue making you ... (read in full...)
What is the normal amount of weight to gain during your period?
Q. this may sound silly to some of you out there, but im wondering how much is normal to gain during your period. ive never actually weighed myself this time of the month, but a few weeks ago i noticed i had gained 5 pounds. i was a little shocked and ...
A. 2 February 2011: I usually gain a couple pounds during my period, I think most women do. I find it's a combination of water retention and generally wanting to eat more crap like chocolate!
Don't beat yourself up over it, just be careful for the rest of the mont... (read in full...)
Most of the girls in my year smoke and I want to try. Do boys find girls who smoke attractive.
Q. Ok, I'm 14 and most of the girls in my year have smoked. I really want to take a few drags and see what it's like, but one of my friends is TOO overly protective and will tell my guidance teacher! Also, do boys think it's cool if their girl smokes? ...
A. 31 January 2011: I started smoking when I was 13 because all my friends were doing it and I thought I'd look pretty grown up. I'm nearly 26 now and wish to god I'd never started. Believe me, you won't stop at one drag! Listen to your friend and stay away from the ... (read in full...)
Is cybersex with others considered cheating?
Q. I met a guy many years ago online and we started to have cybersex. It became very intense and eventually we fell in love. We spent many hours talking on phone, IM, email etc. We plan on getting married but due to some unforseen circumstance have not ...
A. 31 January 2011: Cheating has different definitions in different relationships. Many people would consider this cheating, some would think not because there has been no physical contact.
How do you feel about it? I personally see anything that betrays your part... (read in full...)
I've got a whole lot of perversions and moral failings that I'd like to disclose to the girl I'd probably get involved with. How do I do it?
Q. Hello World, I've got a question that I think I already know the answer to, but would like some reassurance with all the same (or other answers if any). It's about a woman I've been getting close to (in a strictly non-GF/BF way), and would like g...
A. 31 January 2011: Well you certainly shouldn't tell any potential patner your entire history immediatly. It isn't a case of perversions, it's your life and your history. Everyone has a past.
I would say tell the woman that you are bi, if she's got a problem with that... (read in full...)
How do I be more romantic without going overboard?
Q. For the most part I'm not a very romantic person, this doesn't bother my fiance but it does bother me when I think about it, I'm not completely unromantic (i.e. I took her out to dinner at a very nice Italian restaraunt and bought her flowers last ...
A. 27 January 2011: I'd say you're doing pretty well already! Flowers, a nice meal, cute gifts for valentines...a lot of girls would be more than happy with that!... (read in full...)
I'm feeling like I've been cursed given all the bad things that have happened
Q. Does anybody ever felt cursed? I 'm very logical person, but almost on a mythological way, my life is getting destroyed one piece by piece. There is a consistency in it too. Like I work really hard to resolve something or get something, so i put ...
A. 26 January 2011: Well it certainly seems that some people suffer more hardship than others. I think it's down to circumstance more than luck or curses, I believe we make our own luck but sure, sometimes things can stand in the way or ruin something we've worked so ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend's mother is jealous of me!
Q. My boyfriends mum is all over him in front of me. She calls him her gorgeous man. She is widowed but has a good social life. She is polite to me but she makes weird remarks which can be taken two ways such as 'hands off he's mine' and laughs. She ...
A. 26 January 2011: My bf's mum is similar and he's a real mummys boy in my opinion he plays up to it!
Just bite your tongue and let it go. Don't say anything about it, she's his mum so of course he's going to defend her. You don't have to see her that often so when... (read in full...)
Why did you even ask?
Q. What brought you to Dear Cupid? Most likely it's because of some problem in your life or relationship. That's how most of us stumbled upon this place. You came here hoping that these anon people on the internet could offer you some insight into ...
A. 26 January 2011: Spot on. The people that fight the advice are looking for someone to side with them, often because they know they are in the wrong, they know they're the one who has caused the problem in their relationship/family/friendship and so they seek some ... (read in full...)
Are there any couples out there who are 100% faithful to one another?
Q. I dont know if it's because Ive been reading the articles on this site too often (this being a relationship help site and all), but it seems that everywhere I look, people are unfaithful to each other. Im basically asking, are there any couples ...
A. 25 January 2011: Well I'm not a great deal older than you but I've been with my bf for 2 years and I've been completely faithful as he has to me.
I was with my last patner 7 years and completely faithful during that time too.
Be nice to hear some success stories ... (read in full...)
Can I do anything to make twins more likely?
Q. Can you do any thing to make it more likely to have twins if your trying to get pregnant? Thanks for your time....
A. 25 January 2011: Will this be your first pregnancy? I'm just intrigued as to why you are so deaperate for twins...I'm sure the other parents on here will back me up in saying that one newborn is more than enough! Good luck :)... (read in full...)
Women and Men: Being Equal
Q. When your in a relationship, either married or dating I think it is safe to say that equality in that relationship is a very good thing. I'm interested in seeing what everyone can come up with for equality points in a relationship. I'm not really ...
A. 25 January 2011: Absolutly right, it's the little day to day things that matter the most. When you live with someone and see them every day it's easy to take them for granted so showing them a little kindness and consideration everyday makes the relationship ... (read in full...)
My partner is posessive and doesn't allow me to have friends
Q. my partner is very possesive and wont allow me any friends. i dont work and am basically a recluse as im not allowed out. please could someone advice me on how i can make friends on line without my partner knowing. i feel i need company a...
A. 25 January 2011: Do you plan on spending the rest of your life having no human contact other than your partner? Humans are not designed that way, we are social creatures. Consider this, you're fed up now...so picture yourself still sitting at the computer looking ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didnt get my anything for Christmas, do I have a right to be upset?
Q. My Boyfriend of one year previously best friends for two years, didn't get me anything for christmas last year and I'm a little confused if i should be upset or not. I've splurged a little too much on him since it was our first christmas and that ...
A. 25 January 2011: There's no excuse for not getting you anything for christmas. He could have at least got you a card and there are loads of things he could've done on very little money to let you know that he cares. But he doesn't care.
Have you given him the phon... (read in full...)
How do ladies feel about their man going to a strip club?
Q. Ladies, how do you feel if your boyfriend goes to a strip club? My boyfriend has been to a few over the last year for bachelor parties. I feel like him seeing other girls half naked makes me less appealing. It makes me super insecure about myself ...
A. 24 January 2011: The important thing here is how YOU feel. It doesn't matter weather the majority of women mind or not, what counts is your opinion.
I would say that men don't see these women as 'real' so that's why he doesn't compare you and like you said, you ... (read in full...)
What are the possible consequences from unprotected sex?
Q. i had unprotected sex on monday and didn't shower, the next day i got oral pleasure from a different girl the next day still not clean. what are the possible consequences?...
A. 24 January 2011: You seriously don't know the consequences of having unprotected sex?? Then you shouldn't be having sex at all!
One of these girls could be pregnant and you could have an sti. Go get yourself checked out and while you're at it, educate yourself befo... (read in full...)
The answer to all your problems (well most) right here!
Q. I don't know about you guys but there are some questions I see time and time again. How 'bout we answer some of those questions right here and hope that anyone about to post the same question has a quick look at the articles first? 1. Why won't h...
A. 22 January 2011: Aw thank you! I honestly can't remember what number 8 was going to be but I'm sure it's been covered by the other fantastic answers :)... (read in full...)
Calling for very romantic ideas to do and buy for valentine's day please?
Q. hey, I know valentimes day is for another few weeks yet but i'm in major stress.! This is my first valentimes day where i am with someone and in a serious relationship I have been with my boyfriend a year now and i want to make this valentimes ...
A. 22 January 2011: I really like the book idea. I'm all about the personalised presents and try to make it a rule that more time is spent than money. Anyone can buy a gift but putting thought and time into something unique shows real love :)
I did an indoor picn... (read in full...)
The sweetness of first love....
Q. Stories of first loves? Did it last? How old were you? What went wrong? Do you still think of them? Are you still together? Stories, please. I'm interested :)...
A. 22 January 2011: I'm the same as chigirl, the first man I ever loved was admired from afar. He was much older than me so although at the time I wanted more than anything to be with him I can look back now and appreciate that he was a decent man who didn't do ... (read in full...)
The answer to all your problems (well most) right here!
Q. I don't know about you guys but there are some questions I see time and time again. How 'bout we answer some of those questions right here and hope that anyone about to post the same question has a quick look at the articles first? 1. Why won't h...
A. 22 January 2011: accidentally posted this before I was done! I'm glad you're all adding your own though, keep 'em coming!... (read in full...)
Should I tell my teacher how I feel about him?
Q. Basically I'm in love with my teacher, yeah you've heard it all before I understand, this is just typical, he pays me special attention, touches my body like waist and arms. He makes jokes that can be taken in different ways and says things I could ...
A. 21 January 2011: Do not tell him how you're feeling! Chances are you've convinced yourself that you're seeing all the signs that he likes you when actually he's just being friendly.
If by a slim chance he did want something more then why would you want to be anyw... (read in full...)
Am I too big to go on top?
Q. I think i am to big to get on top of him, but i have heard people say that its not your weight that your puting on top of him and i just dont get it, i am sure my fiance would be open to try it but it would be like having to practice and that is ...
A. 21 January 2011: When you go on top you support your own weight on your legs. I'm sure your man would love you to give it a try :)... (read in full...)
She chose her husband over me, but still wants to talk! Why is this and how do I deal with it?
Q. I have been seeing a married woman for about 8 months. I’m a single male. She decided to stay with her hubby. I do love this gal and have for years before this started. I love talking with her. We have weekend places very close to each other. This ...
A. 21 January 2011: The reason she chose her husband but still wants you on the side lines is because she's getting the best of both worlds! Whenever her husband isn't paying her enough attention, whenever they row or things become boring for her she's always got you ... (read in full...)
Was I insensitive towards my friend? Or did I do the right thing?
Q. My friend is going through a hard break up and was really sad in front of me. They started to cry and started to talk about there relationship. At first I told them "its okay you can cry" and they felt bad for crying in front of me. So I told them, ...
A. 21 January 2011: There's nothing wrong with taking your friends out to get their mind off things. The fact that you're even posting this question because you're concerned you didn't do the right thing shows that you're clearly a very good friend :)... (read in full...)
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