A
male
age
41-50,
*b129
writes:Would it be horribly un-romantic for me to book a beachfront room for my wife to take a 2-day getaway by herself, as a Valentines Day gift? She has been talking about wanting to take a "mommy break" as in, get away for a couple days to relax, read, go to the spa etc and have no kid duties. We have 2 boys age 3 and 6 and she is a stay at home mom so she gets worn down easily. So what if I book 2 nights for her plus a gift cert for a massage at a local spa there. Terribly un-romantic because I'm sending her away? Her birthday is in March so I could wait, or maybe say the spa is the valentines gift and the trip is the bday gift? I can afford to take some leave so she can do this on a weekday, so I have full opportunity to relieve her of day-to-day duties like taking the 3yo to preschool, etc. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, mb129 +, writes (12 February 2011):
mb129 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmm, LoveGirl that is an interesting thought. I think though that since this is what she has told me she really needs/wants, I will present it as I am thinking. Next time we can do a trip for the two of us but this time I think this is what she really needs. Well I will write back and let you know how it goes on Monday. Thanks again to everyone for the help.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): A good husband. You should be treasured.
I am all for taking time off from the kids but why can you not go with her.
I sometimes think that when couples 'relax' 'unwind' separately it gets them to slowly drift apart.
Both you and her are bogged down with the kids. Both of you need a break. So take a weekend away and both go relax and reconnect, have awesome sex and just be together. This is the best!
Your intention is really great but take the time off: Together. You both deserve it.
LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, mb129 +, writes (8 February 2011):
mb129 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for the great response and support! I'm not going to book it for the 14th, she wants to go to the beach and I think doing a combined vday birthday gift and tentatively booking it for late mar/early april would be best. Still really good rates (she would feel really guilty if this broke the bank and its easy to book a nice place for $75/night then) At least have a chance at 60-70 degree weather, this will be in Maryland.
I agree presentation will be key, I will work on that! I will also have the boys make her something.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): DO IT! You're a pretty good husband. Lucky Woman, your wife.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): Save the get away for her birthday so you can go with her. Give her the spa for V day.
You may come across as insensitive if you suggest she spend Valentine's day alone away from you.
I don't know if you've ever spent Valentine's day alone at a hotel, but I had to spend V-day evening in a hotel solo once to make an event on the 15th.
I'm not typically a sentimentalist, but it was a pretty awful experience. You are constantly surrounded by couples who are also "getting away"...in the elevator, if you try to get dinner, walking around...it can make you feel particularly lonely.
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A
male
reader, Problem.helper +, writes (7 February 2011):
 The only problem is that you are not going to be there. I mean it's valentines :D so she probably wants you to be there. I guess you know what is valentines day about. You can't send her away alone on this day!
Find someone to babysit and go with. Make her breakfast in bed, do walks on a beach, romantic dinner. Just take care of everything so she can really relax. That would be really romantic to her.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 February 2011):
 I think it's a great idea for valentines. It's not unromantic at all. Being together doesn't have to be the norm for valentines, giving each other a much needed or desired gift can be very romantic as well, and your idea is romantic too. You don't have to be there with her, but maybe you could make it possible just in case she really really wants you with her. But seeing as she has asked specifically for time off for herself I think she'd appreciate it if you told her to go and enjoy herself on her own. Or even bring a friend if she wants to.
I think the only thing she'd worry about is if it's terribly unromantic of her to leave you alone on valentines!
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A
female
reader, OnlyException  +, writes (7 February 2011):
You know, this question really made me smile purely for the fact it shows that there are still some decent, loving, caring men, and wonderful husbands in this world. Go for it, she will love you all the more for it. You sound like you have a wonderful relationship. :)I second all TexasTexas's suggestions too.
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A
female
reader, viccra78 +, writes (7 February 2011):
I would LOVE it!!
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A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (7 February 2011):
 This is a fabulous idea! Is it possible for you to join her? I imagine she would love to have you there with her at the hotel for a romantic evening together.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011): She will be the envy of every woman she knows! Great, great idea.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011): hii...
no, that wouldn't be unromantic at all!!! it sounds like something that she would really enjoy and that would really help her get away from all the stress in her life. i say book it for her ASAP!!! and then, if you're still worried about being "unromantic"...well, you can always take care of that when she gets home, if you know what i'm saying. ")
good luck, and God bless,
~sarsar~
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A
female
reader, TexasTexas +, writes (7 February 2011):
Hi,
My husband thinks like you do. It is a VERY romantic gesture to care for her emotional well-being.
When she leaves, you might want to surprise her with a good book from favorite author, pile of magazines, good chocolate (not drugstore junk), candles, etc. Bath salts, thick bathrobe, beautiful cotton panties, etc. Or arrange to have all that at the getaway place when she arrives.
Include a thank-you note for being a wonderful (and sexy?) mother to your children. You could take a pic of you and your kids holding a big heart that says "thank you"........let them draw or color on it.
A stay-at-home parent does so many high-effort energy-draining things throughout the day. Sometimes we need to be baby-eed ourself! :)
I'm saying to "go all out" for her! Keep wooing your lady.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 February 2011):
Thank God the Aunts agree! At least we're not so out of touch...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 February 2011):
 MOM here... I would ADORE THIS... of course my babies are 24 and 26 now...
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A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (7 February 2011):
 That's a wonderful gift, very thoughtful and a loving gesture. Get her a beautiful card and at least a box of chocolates just to add something to it.
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (7 February 2011):
 I don't think it's unromantic I think it's lovely that you want to spoil your wife and I hope that some of the men reading this take note!
However she might be hoping to spend some time with you for valentines day. With young children you probably rarely get the opportunity to go out just the two of you and be yourselves rather than mummy and daddy so maybe she'd like to do that. You know her best so only you can judge how she'd feel about not spending valentines with you.
If you are able to get a sitter then I think you should take your wife for a meal on valentines and then give her the spa tickets and tell her about sending her for a mini break at the meal, that way she still gets to spend the evening with you but the break will be her valentines present.
I'm sure she's going to love it :)
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (7 February 2011):
 Coming from a woman, this is such a wonderful idea. Get it booked immediately!!! She'll love you for it. Have the kids give her some flowers and some chocolates when she gets back from it too as an extra little surprise :)
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A
female
reader, x.BrokenxHearts.x +, writes (7 February 2011):
 As a woman, I would absolutely LOVE if my husband did this for me, brilliant idea!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (7 February 2011):
 It sounds like a great idea to me too, but like CaringGuy, I'm also a man, so...
It's also all about the presentation. If you show her you've planned a way for her to relax and pamper herself because you love her and want her to be happy, I doubt she'll feel it's unromantic.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011): it would be amazingly romantic. it will show her that you have listened to her and that you truly care.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 February 2011):
I think it would be a great gift! But then I'm a man, so I might not know for sure. But my feeling is that she'll like it very, very much.
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