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*ammi star agony aunt

*ammi star

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*ammi star's profile:

Hey :) I'm 25, in a relationship with someone who I knew for years before we got together and have an 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship. I've been through some really tough times but I'm in a good place right now and feel I can use my bad experiences to advise others. Feel free to message me, honest advice always!

Latest articles:

The answer to all your problems (well most) right here!

This question has 17 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

21 January 2011: I don't know about you guys but there are some questions I see time and time again. How 'bout we answer some of those questions right here and hope that anyone about to post the same question has a quick look at the articles first? 1. Why won't h...

All I want for christmas...

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

16 December 2010: I hold my hands up to usually being quite shallow at christmas. Yes, I know it should all be about spending time with the people you love and while that's something i enjoy and look forward to, I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of failing to ...

Think before you jump, because there might be a good reason

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

23 February 2010: Okay so this valentines was the first one for my bf and I. I've known him for years but we only got together 10 months ago and I was determined to make it special. So valentines week comes around and he's having serious money problems (as was I to...

Why are women labelled as "shallow" if they voice their opinions on their partners appearance yet men can judge women entirely on their looks?

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

24 November 2009: So my bf knew I didn't like facial hair on guys and found it unattractive. He grew a beard. I had to admit though that with his messy mop of dark hair it actually really suited him and he looks great. My bf knows I hate long hair on guys. So he an...

Becoming more than FWB

This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

15 September 2009: I see a lot of questions on here about people who are stuck in the FWB situation and often they want to know if there's a chance of becoming more. Most of the answers tell them that no, there isn't so I wanted to share my story. When I was in my la...

The reality of being a teen mum

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

20 August 2009: I see a lot of young girls on here who want to become mothers so I thought I'd share a few thoughts on the reality of becoming a teenage mum. I was 16 when I fell pregnant, my boyfriend 18. I'd just finished my GCSE's and planned to go back to schoo...

Being yourself :)

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

6 July 2009: I only wrote an article a little while ago but I like sharing little bits of life so here we go with another one! And by the way, I'm talking about men but obviously the same applies with women :) I often ask my male friends for advice. Every so...

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I don't get on with my mum, how do I tell my parents I am pregnant?

Q.   I'm 15 years old. Yesterday i found out im pregnant. The father is not my boyfriend and never was. I have never been more scared in my life. My parents are divorced and I live with my dad because me and my mom don't get along. My mom is re-married ...

A.   23 February 2010: I've been checking this question regularly as it's very close to home for me and I wanted to see what advice you were getting. I have to say i strongly disagree with Denise32. I understand her thoughts and opinions, it's the way many people feel... (read in full...)

Why do people have such big regrets about losing their virginity?

Q.   I'm an almost 18 year old virgin, and I've heard other women say that they've regreted their first time and wish they had waited. I don't understand. Why did they regret it and what did they wish they had waited for? I've been a bit upset about wh...

A.   23 February 2010: It's entirely up to you wheather or not you wait to have sex until you're married. I think a lot of women regret the way they lost their virginity once they start experiencing sex in a loving relationship. Losing your virginity should really be w... (read in full...)

Three questions about sex!

Q.   (Mod note: 3 postings from this same OP) Women....where do you find the most appealing and exciting place to have sex? i.e - on the plane, car, field? --------------------- Do women like it when their man is in "charge" in the bedroom? what ...

A.   23 February 2010: Are you asking this question to get some ideas for one woman in particular? If you are then no woman can answer on behalf of the entire female population and you really would be better off finding out the personal preferences of women as individuals ... (read in full...)

Is it normal that he started masturbating in front of me the second time we had sex?

Q.   after my boyfriend and i had sex for the second time in our relationship, i got tired and came off him, and he started jerking himself off infornt of me. is this normal? or is this as____ish? or does he feel that confrontable with me that he did ...

A.   23 February 2010: There's no such thing as normal! All depends on wheather you mind or not. Next time get involved, help him out or kiss him and let him see your body as he does it.... (read in full...)

I feel guilty about asking my mum to move out when I got married

Q.   I wanted my mom to be on her own and get her apartment after I got married. She finally got one and will be moving soon and I feel sad and guilty now about this, I thought that this is what I wanted but now, im not sure. I have mix feelings about ...

A.   23 February 2010: It's quite natural that you feel this way now the time has come and your mother is actually leaving. It'll probably take a while to get used to not having her around but you've made the right decision, you and your husband need to start your married ... (read in full...)

I don't get on with my mum, how do I tell my parents I am pregnant?

Q.   I'm 15 years old. Yesterday i found out im pregnant. The father is not my boyfriend and never was. I have never been more scared in my life. My parents are divorced and I live with my dad because me and my mom don't get along. My mom is re-married ...

A.   23 February 2010: I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this hun, I know pretty much how you're feeling, I was pregnant at 16 and also didn't get on with my mum. We had a terrible relationship and she'd thrown me out of the house several times, but she was the ... (read in full...)

What's the etiquette for "friends with benefits"?

Q.   I suppose it's a little late to ask this question since I'm already sleeping with the guy, but hey. Better late than never. I met him at a show about a month ago and we found each other physically attractive. He lives about three hours away from me ...

A.   23 February 2010: If you were friends before you started sleeping together I wouldn't find this too odd but seeing as you weren't I think he's probably a lot more into you than you are him. I have a problem with the whole FWB thing-I'm not against it, it's actually ... (read in full...)

Is it possible for a man to love his wife but still have a wandering eye?

Q.   Is it possible for a man to love his wife but still have a wandering eye? If the man is so satisfied at home...why would he look at other women? Does it boost his ego or is it just a male testosterone...being a hot blooded male that he can't...

A.   23 February 2010: Of course it's possible! All men look at other women but it doesn't mean they don't love their partner. Don't you ever look at another guy and appreciate how good looking he is?! I don't see anything wrong with it, look but don't touch is a very ... (read in full...)

Do all girls only care about themselves?

Q.   Ok i need some answers please. I have this girl that is my friend, but she only talks about herself, in 3 years that i know her, she has only asked me how i was 2 times. I mean i know women need attention, i always put attention and care for her, ...

A.   23 February 2010: This girl is unbelievably self centred and I would just like to reassure you that no, we are not all like this!! real friends ask questions and take an interest in each others lives, it shouldn't be all one sided. Why not bring it up with her, see ... (read in full...)

I need an original idea of what to plan for my bf's birthday!

Q.   I know this is such a commonly asked question, but I'm having trouble deciding what to do for my boyfriend's birthday. We've been together over a year. I've already decided what gifts to get him, it's the day itself I'm not sure about. His ...

A.   23 February 2010: I think you have answered your own question hun and it sounds like a great idea :) Theres nothing cliche about spoiling him with all the little things he loves, I'm sure you'll both have a great time! x... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is busy working and studying and I feel so lonely at times

Q.   me and my boyfriend me three years are really struggling at the moment. He's at uni and i work full time so we don't see eachother durin the day. He works in a bar to make his money which means he has to work several nights a week. He also plays ...

A.   23 February 2010: I know EXACTLY how you're feeling hun, in fact that question could've been written by me! My boyfriend works long hours and the commute takes forever too so we never see each other during the week unless he's free on his day off but that's very rare... (read in full...)

How should I approach my girlfriend about changing her attitude?

Q.   Hello, I'm having this problem with my girlfriend of 7 months, she is really obstinate, or pigheaded any way you wanna call it. Although as pigheaded as she is, she is really good, and nice. She loves me a lot, I can really tell, even with my ...

A.   23 February 2010: I don't think she has an attitude problem at all! So she went down on you once and won't do it again? have you considered she did it that first time to please you but she just doesn't enjoy doing it? and you can't bargain on something like that, if ... (read in full...)

Can someone explain to me what LOVE is?

Q.   Can someone explain to me what LOVE is? My Mother thinks it is remaining monogamous for 53 years. Till my Father died. I don't know I have had 3 Long lasting relationships in life the latter ending in Marriage. I still don't know what love is...

A.   23 February 2010: You mention more than once that love isn't real because 2 different people cannot live harmoniously together all the time. Of course they can't, people will argue and fall out but that doesn't mean you don't love that person anymore! Sometimes my ... (read in full...)

Valentine's day 2010...

Q.   For those who don't know or haven't read my posts before, my name's Josh, and the biggest aspect of my love-life at the moment is that it hasn't existed yet. To read more about this, check my column and my other articles out (Y) However, this ...

A.   23 February 2010: I haven't been on here for a while and therefore am a bit late in reading this but I'd love to know how it's going for you guys! keep us updated :)... (read in full...)

I feel like I jump down my boyfriend's throat for stupid things.

Q.   I feel like I jump down my boyfriend's throat for stupid things. He's so clueless most of the time about what I want him to do, and I feel like I need to let him know but when I do he gets upset because he really doesn't mean to do anything wrong. ...

A.   27 November 2009: Yeah I agree with Melys, instead of just springing it on your bf next time he does something you don't like, tell him you wanna make time for a proper chat to see where you're both at in your relationship. Don't feel like you're being whiny or clin... (read in full...)

Why are women labelled as "shallow" if they voice their opinions on their partners appearance yet men can judge women entirely on their looks?

Q.   So my bf knew I didn't like facial hair on guys and found it unattractive. He grew a beard. I had to admit though that with his messy mop of dark hair it actually really suited him and he looks great. My bf knows I hate long hair on guys. So he an...

A.   27 November 2009: I think you may be right about that, I guess it is out of the ordinary or a woman to put across opinions like that to her partner and that might be why she would be labelled as shallow. Just for the record I didn't title this article and I don'... (read in full...)

My wife wants a threesome with another man!

Q.   My wife wants a threesome with another man. She says she loves the idea of "spit-roasting." I am disgusted, when I first met her two years ago in Church she was innocent and caring, and she saved herself until our wedding night. I don't know where ...

A.   25 November 2009: I doubt it has anything to do with her meeting a new, more experienced man. If that were the case then she'd be wanting to try these things with him, but she's spoken to you about it right? It usually takes a lot of courage for people to speak up a... (read in full...)

Once I've passed my driving test should I tell my instructor I have a crush on him?

Q.   i'm 42 and since january I've been taking driving lessons. my instructor is a lovely man. a brilliant instructor and a wonderful person, kind, gentle, considerate etc etc. we get on very well together and my lessons feel more like time spent with ...

A.   28 September 2009: I agree that this is like a school girl crush. It's not uncommon to have a crush on your driving instructor and chances are if you got to know him outside of his profession you may not feel the same way at all. That said, you're 42 so if you want to ... (read in full...)

All of a sudden my b/f is easily upset -- why is he acting like this?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have a really good relationship. We're a perfect match, or says his friends and mine. Lately he hasn't been being himself. He seems mad and upset. And, he seems to get mad at me really easily (Example; For bringing up a ...

A.   28 September 2009: There are many possible reasons as to why your bf is acting out of character. It definitly sounds as though he's stressed about something, maybe work or college? You say you have a really good relationship so the only way to know for sure whats ... (read in full...)

My mom is taking me to get a pregnancy test, I'm scared, don't want to raise a baby, please help?

Q.   I'm 14 and could be pregnant, i had sex with my ex 3 month ago and have missed every period, my mum has only found this out today, so she is taking me for a preggy test but the thing is im to scared incase i amm. im not sure how to bring a baby up ...

A.   7 September 2009: Nobody can tell you that you're too young for a baby, nobody can tell you weather or not you're able to raise a child. It's your decision. I had my daughter at 16 and it's really hard work. I don't regret having her as I love her more than anything ... (read in full...)

I'm really scared about getting my period...help!!

Q.   i am really scared about my period i am 13 and still have not srated what should i do...

A.   1 September 2009: Did you mean that you're worried because you haven't started yet? If you did, that's nothing to worry about hun. It varies hugely, some girls start very early, like 12 and for some girls it's as late as 18. It's nothing to worry about, everyones ... (read in full...)

Goodbye to all at Dear Cupid

Q.   Well, this is not a question. I have just decided to opt out as an agony aunt, "uncle". I seem not to have had much success lately. I think it is just an age thing. I am probably to old to give advice to the questioners who seem to be of a much ...

A.   20 August 2009: I agree, ratings don't matter at all. And nobody is too old to give advice, everyone has their own life experiences to draw on and being a little older must mean you've been through a fair few things which can only be a good thing right?! ... (read in full...)

My take on why guys notice looks more than personality!

Q.   The other night i was talking to my friend who's a girl and we got into the ever-so-popular "all guys are perverts" argument. She asked me why most guys usualy focus more on the looks or a girl than their personality. I had never really thought ...

A.   20 August 2009: Yeah I think you're kinda right in what you're saying, and K c100 is spot on, of course we don't go around thinking that way but it's built into all of us. I think you notice peoples looks first because if you don't know someone it's all you have... (read in full...)

Is underage sex something you agree with?! I want opinions please!

Q.   Ive decided to put myself out here after been severely infuriated by some 'adults' on this site who deem it appropriate for CHILDREN to be having sex from as young as 13! do you think its appropriate for a child of this age to be having sex?? they ...

A.   16 August 2009: I get what you're saying but I don't think there are many people on here that agree with kids of that age having sex. The thing is, when you get a question about sex posted by someone that young, they're going to do what they like no matter how many... (read in full...)

Squeezing during sex?

Q.   I normally squeeze my vagina during sex,is it safe for me and does my patner feel it....

A.   14 August 2009: Yeah it's safe for you to do this, In my experience most guys love it! :) ... (read in full...)

FWB how can I tell if he wants more?

Q.   I have a friend w/benefits, and we've been getting together about once a week for the past 4 months. A couple of weeks ago we were like attached at the hips for about 6 days and we did it at least once a day and he stayed the night with me a couple ...

A.   14 August 2009: I don't agree that he'd tell you straight out if there was something more. There could be many reasons why he hasn't told you if he's feeling more than friendship, maybe he's afraid of commitment, maybe he's feeling like you and not wanting to risk ... (read in full...)

Tips on giving a guy oral

Q.   Ok we I have gave my bf oral a couple times but I think he doesnt enjoy it he says he does but I just feel like he's just saying that. So I wanted to know what will make my guy love the oral and ask me for more any tips? Things guy love and enjoy?...

A.   11 August 2009: Okay well apparantly guys have this saying, the wetter the better..sounds rather disgusting but certainly seems to work on my guy! Use your hands too, if you create a ring around your mouth using your thumb and first finger it gives the impression ... (read in full...)

What can I do to make our sex life more exciting?

Q.   okay soo...me and my boyfriend Awhile back had sex and he started talk dirty to me while doing it and i loved it!!!!!!!!! i meant really loved it it made it so much better for me i cant stop thinking about it...i want him to do it agian but im ...

A.   11 August 2009: Okay firstly you can have great sex without getting high! Your bf will probably love it if you watch porn together, give it a try. And he's not gonna think you're wierd for wanting him to talk dirty again, loads of girls love that and if he thou... (read in full...)

We've started to fool around in the bedroom, but I have no idea what I'm doing!

Q.   Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 2 months now, we're both 16; so of course we're a little 'sexual'. I dont mind when he does stuff to me, but when it comes time for me to do stuff to him, im cluess. I dont know how to give ...

A.   11 August 2009: Ask him what he likes, let him help you and show you the way. He's gonna love it anyway, just because you're touching him but it's understandable you're nervous. Just make sure you relax...I know that's easier said than done but it'll make the whole ... (read in full...)

Would this be a terribly selfish reason to end a relationship?

Q.   So, I've been dating this fellow for a while now and things have been going pretty well but our sex drives seem to be drastically different. I feel like whenever I'm "in the mood" he is too tired or just uninterested. Which as a result has taken a ...

A.   25 July 2009: It's always difficult when you and a partner have very different sex drives. You're not pathetic for taking it personally but you should bear in mind that it really is nothing to do with you, it just so happens that he's not in the mood. I don'... (read in full...)

Females: How do you react when a guy is hugging you and he gets an erection?

Q.   Females: How do you react when a guy is hugging you and he gets an erection? Do you act flattered? Are you usually disgusted? I hug this girl from time to time and I always get an erection whilst hugging her. I used to find it embarassing unti...

A.   22 July 2009: This is really common at your age anyway and I think most girls will just take it in their stride, my friends and I certainly used to, maybe have a little joke with the boys like the first girl you mentioned! Don't worry bout it hun :) x... (read in full...)

If you'd had a baby through a brief affair would you tell anyone?

Q.   If you'd had a baby through a brief affair would you tell anyone? either confide in a friend or tell the biological father? would you be guilty and tell all eventually or keep this a secret forever? ...

A.   15 July 2009: Keeping a secret like this to yourself will only be damaging to everyone invoved. There will come a day when the child will want to know his/her father and then what would you do? Brief fling or not this man has a right to know if he's fathered... (read in full...)

I've fallen for him over the internet...

Q.   Actually, I met an English boy 2 months ago on the Internet, and I think all the time about him, I've become addicted to him, to talk to him. I think i'm falling in love. He makes my day... But, i think he doesn't really care about me...'Cause, ...

A.   13 July 2009: It's easy to become attached to someone you never talk to face to face because you feel you can say things with a kind of honesty that you wouldn't usually. You may think you love him hun but think about it, how well do you know him? He can't show... (read in full...)

What protection should I use to avoid getting pregant?

Q.   to avoid pregnancy...should condoms and pills both be used.....or only condom can avoid pregnancy...

A.   13 July 2009: Neither are 100% effective so it's always safest to use both. Never stop using condoms though just because you're on the pill, pregnancy isn't your only worry you need to think about STI's too... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend just feeding his 2 year old's disobedience?

Q.   my bf 2yo is very disobedient. whenever she is naughty she mostly gets away with it. Some times bf will sit her down and say no stop being naughty, and she will cry to get her way out of it this is when bf will cuddle her and say its alright. Is ...

A.   13 July 2009: As a parent myself, I know how hard it is when you tell your little one off and they start crying-of course your natural reaction is to comfort them with a cuddle! But your bf is doing his daughter no favours by not disciplining her. She needs to... (read in full...)

What should I do not to appear to be so available?

Q.   Guy are always to assured of me from the start? Now I want to start playing hard to get with this new guy I met? So I don't always want to be available? Any good ideas or success stories would be SO appreciated......

A.   13 July 2009: Well when you play hard to get with a guy there's always a chance it'll backfire! But, you definitly don't want to seem that you're always available so just make sure that you're out there having fun with your friends, not waiting by the phone. Ca... (read in full...)

My bf is annoyed I wont talk to my father about birth control, who's right?

Q.   I hope someone can help me out. I'm so confused. Sorry its so long, but you have to understand the whole story to answer the questions. I'm almost sixteen years old, and me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year. I never really fo...

A.   12 July 2009: If you don't feel comfortable talking to your dad about this then don't. It's your choice and your boyfriend should respect that. You've been very responsible, there are many people that take little or no time in worrying about birth control so you ... (read in full...)

Am I too nervous? Or just not ready for a relationship?

Q.   Ok i am like 20 y/o and i wanna know is it normal to be able to talk to a female, on msn/yahoo/aim/games/phone easier than talking upfront to em? i get all nervous while even being near a female, sometimes i have tears coming down my face but i do ...

A.   11 July 2009: I couldn't believe it reading your question! It could've been written by a very close male friend of mine and we were just talking about this the other day. He has exactly the same problem, he's just fine when he's texting or talking to a girl on m... (read in full...)

I'm a 22 year old virgin and I just want someone to love

Q.   Im a 22yr old virgin and its seriously getting me down with loanliness, i dont know how long i can take this frustration. I hang out with a large group of friends and i always feel like the 5th wheel that cant roll with the group due to the fact ...

A.   11 July 2009: I haven't always been single but I get how hard it can be when everyone around you is coupled off and you're on your own. Just for the record, not all girls hate shy guys! I actually find it endearing, I definitly prefer it to someone who's cock... (read in full...)

I just cant let go, why?

Q.   married but to be honest i dont love my husband but afraid to let go why i dont know. I know he no longer loves me either but i think we are just together for the sake of it . its like a comfort thing for both of us. but i just cant keep on like ...

A.   11 July 2009: It's completely natural to feel that you can't let go. Being a couple has become a habit, it's your life and, chances are, how you define yourself. I was with my previous partner for seven years and I felt exactly the same way as you do now. You ... (read in full...)

Has anyone ever lived with a schizophrenic?

Q.   My aunt suffers from schizophrenia, she is on medication and has been for over three decades. i recently spoke with her psychiatrist who is requesting that we seek alternative approaches to her illness. she refuses, and that's putting it mildly to ...

A.   9 July 2009: I haven't lived with a schizophrenic but my sisters dad (who has always been like a dad to me too) has paranoid schizophrenia and I've helper take care of him. I'm not sure how much I can help you because your aunt sounds like she's very different ... (read in full...)

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