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... Send *ammi star a private message | | | *ammi star's profile:Hey :) I'm 25, in a relationship with someone who I knew for years before we got together and have an 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship. I've been through some really tough times but I'm in a good place right now and feel I can use my bad experiences to advise others. Feel free to message me, honest advice always! |
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| Latest articles: The answer to all your problems (well most) right here!
This question has 17 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 January 2011: I don't know about you guys but there are some questions I see time and time again. How 'bout we answer some of those questions right here and hope that anyone about to post the same question has a quick look at the articles first? 1. Why won't h...
All I want for christmas...
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 December 2010: I hold my hands up to usually being quite shallow at christmas. Yes, I know it should all be about spending time with the people you love and while that's something i enjoy and look forward to, I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of failing to ...
Think before you jump, because there might be a good reason
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 February 2010: Okay so this valentines was the first one for my bf and I. I've known him for years but we only got together 10 months ago and I was determined to make it special. So valentines week comes around and he's having serious money problems (as was I to...
Why are women labelled as "shallow" if they voice their opinions on their partners appearance yet men can judge women entirely on their looks?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 November 2009: So my bf knew I didn't like facial hair on guys and found it unattractive. He grew a beard. I had to admit though that with his messy mop of dark hair it actually really suited him and he looks great. My bf knows I hate long hair on guys. So he an...
Becoming more than FWB
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
15 September 2009: I see a lot of questions on here about people who are stuck in the FWB situation and often they want to know if there's a chance of becoming more. Most of the answers tell them that no, there isn't so I wanted to share my story. When I was in my la...
The reality of being a teen mum
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 August 2009: I see a lot of young girls on here who want to become mothers so I thought I'd share a few thoughts on the reality of becoming a teenage mum. I was 16 when I fell pregnant, my boyfriend 18. I'd just finished my GCSE's and planned to go back to schoo...
Being yourself :)
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2009: I only wrote an article a little while ago but I like sharing little bits of life so here we go with another one! And by the way, I'm talking about men but obviously the same applies with women :) I often ask my male friends for advice. Every so...
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Was I insensitive towards my friend? Or did I do the right thing?
Q. My friend is going through a hard break up and was really sad in front of me. They started to cry and started to talk about there relationship. At first I told them "its okay you can cry" and they felt bad for crying in front of me. So I told them, ...
A. 21 January 2011: There's nothing wrong with taking your friends out to get their mind off things. The fact that you're even posting this question because you're concerned you didn't do the right thing shows that you're clearly a very good friend :)... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend, but do I like this other man?
Q. Asked this the other day but could do with more responses :) Things with my bf are a bit up and down at moment and I have met a guy at work who is genuinely interested in me. He asked me out on a date and I obviously rejected due to my bf. But now ...
A. 21 January 2011: Yep that's exactly it! I found myself in a similar position and my best friend gave me some excellant advice. She told me that when you're going through a rough patch with your partner, the man you love, then you really don't need a handsome ... (read in full...)
Teen mom?
Q. im in a 2 years relationship and we r great with my boyfriend...im graduating this year and we r planning to try for a baby:) whats the difficulitties of being ateen mom?...
A. 21 January 2011: Speaking from experience, VERY DIFFICULT! You are going to get so many answers on this question and I hope you listen to the advice. I love my daughter and wouldn't change her for anything, she's the most important person in my world but if I could ... (read in full...)
I pushed my fiancee into having a boob job and now I regret it
Q. I'll probably get criticised for this............... I always had a thing about boob jobs on women n although my fiancee had nice size breasts and a fantastic figure i constantly went on to her about wanting her to have one. Stupid i know. ...
A. 21 January 2011: I agree with the others. You wore her confidence down and now she's finding a way of getting it back...and good for her! First you weren't happy with her appearance, now you're not happy with her new found confidence. This woman has resorted to ... (read in full...)
Problems with my current girlfriend and her ex
Q. So I've been with my girlfriend for a pretty good amount of time. I am a hundred percent in love with her and I think she is perfect for me, except, she still talks to her ex, who she has dated much longer than I have. In the beginning of our ...
A. 21 January 2011: Why not suggest going along to the show together? You can't stop her going and you can't stop her talking to her ex. I understand why you're feeling uncomfortable about all this but you have to try and remind yourself that she's with you because she ... (read in full...)
This guy runs a mile everytime I see him, what have I done?
Q. Hello everyone who takes the time to read this. Im sorry it will probably be long and maybe confuss you but Ill try to keep it short and simple. Ok i go to University and I share a Maisonette with 12 people (including me) we are seperated by 2 fla...
A. 21 January 2011: If he can only talk to you online and not in person then I'm guessing it's nerves. You've tried your best to approach him but that's obviously not working! If you have mutual friends try and arrange a night out together so you can see if he's more ... (read in full...)
Will I be a big disappointment to him when I show my true colours?
Q. Hey y'all, My boyfriend is completely infatuated with me; he thinks I am the greatest girl. Recently, he told me what set me apart from his exes is that I'm not possessive. It really bothered me after hearing that. The truth is, I am quite possess...
A. 21 January 2011: This man has put you on a pedestal. He thinks you're perfect and that's an impossible expectation to live up to. Everybody feels a bit insecure from time to time especially when the relationship is new and you're still figuring things out, but ... (read in full...)
I can't eat! Is it because I'm in love?
Q. Hi, so just recently I told the guy I fancied that I liked him and we agreed to try going out and would move slowly, which is good enough for me. I have known him for three years, and we have been together only 5 days since I told him on Sunday th...
A. 21 January 2011: aw this is so cute! I definitly think it's all the emotions your experiencing, you've been nervous of what your parents would think, you're excited at having got the guy you've fancied...it's perfectly normal, I barely ate a thing for weeks when I ... (read in full...)
Blood after sex the second time?
Q. So me and my boy friend had sex today it is my second time having sex, the last time i had sex was almost two years ago. We has sex in the morning and the i went with my day the rest of the day. I went to the bathroom later in the day and i had a ...
A. 21 January 2011: Bleeding after sex should ALWAYS be checked by a doctor. Chances are there's nothing wrong and it's just one of those things but you shouldn't just leave it. Go get checked out.... (read in full...)
The date was good, but his f/b profile says I'm not a fit
Q. So I went on a date with this guy .. It was a set up from one of my clients . We all went out to dinner he was cute and very nice after dinner we stayed and had a drink and just talked . It was fun . He texted me we talked for a few days then we ...
A. 21 January 2011: Just because that's the type of girl he was looking for doesn't mean he won't be interested in you. Sometimes you can think you know what you want and then you meet someone who's nothing like it and get on great with them anyway.
He must like you ... (read in full...)
How do I know when I have actually had an orgasm?
Q. okay, so I have had sex with two people. with my ex and my current partner. they have both been very pleasurable, and felt really good, but I'm not exactly sure if I've ever actaully "came" before...I mean im wet during sex...but I never really feel ...
A. 20 January 2011: If you think you haven't had an orgasm then you probably haven't. It's not easily achievable for most women even if you had the greatest lover in the world because there are so many factors that come into it. For example you need to be relaxed and ... (read in full...)
What is masturbating?
Q. Ok well I want to know about masturbating. Is it just when you pretend to have sex with pillows and such or is that something totally different? I am a late bloomer (haven't even started my period yet) and I am not sure about all this stuff. I want ...
A. 20 January 2011: It's when you touch yourself for your own plesure, it can take many different forms so some do use pillows. It's usually a good way to get to know your own body and figure out what you like and what works for you.
Good for you not rushing into sex,... (read in full...)
What is a fair amount to pay?
Q. My boyfriend has recently moved in with me and we're having a hard time deciding how much is an appropriate amount to pay in rent each month. We live in the house that I already own. I make about $17,000 more per year than he does and about $4,000 ...
A. 19 January 2011: Why on earth didn't you have this discussion before he moved in??
If he can't pay 50% then yes, he should pay 35% if that's what you've worked out as fair and affordable to him. What did he pay when he was living by himself? Remind him it will prob... (read in full...)
I cant stop arguing with my ex!
Q. So me and my ex broke up about two weeks ago. we had a two year relationship so after we stopped arguing i suggested we meet in person to sort things out.but i need advice on what to say. i want to him to trust me and stop being so jealous..to stop ...
A. 14 January 2011: If you can't even speak to each other face to face without having a screaming argument then why are you trying to get back together?
I guess you're going to try anyway though so I'd say write it all down in a letter and take it along with you. If t... (read in full...)
Am I giving up too easily?
Q. Am I giving up too easily? I've been married for 11 years. The last 5 years have been tough on us as a family (we share 7 children ages 6-19). The pattern of arguments are brutal. I remain silent and he blasts me with person insults that are ...
A. 14 January 2011: This is emotional abuse. I agree that you should be back in the family home with your children, you shouldn't be the one to leave when this man has spent years bullying you and bringing you down. He's clearly knocked your confidence in a big way but ... (read in full...)
I cheated and don't love him anymore
Q. I been with my boyfriend for 5yeras we ahve a child together.. I been very unhappy and i cheated.. He found out but he still wants to be with me but I dont. I dont know what to do. I dont Love him anymore....
A. 14 January 2011: If you're unhappy and you don't love him then there's not much left to save. Don't stay for the sake of your child. Do you want him/her to grow up watching his parents in a loveless relationship? A happy mum is a good mum.... (read in full...)
Everything about him annoys me even the nice things he does!
Q. Hi everyone, any advice really appreciated I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. Over the last month or so I have been getting the feeling that I don't want to be with him anymore. We live together. Everything is just annoying me even...
A. 13 January 2011: Excellent advice from auntieloulou, I completely agree, the fact that you're on here asking for advice suggests that you really want to make your relationship work. I find myself feeling exactly the way you do sometimes, it never used to happen ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my boyfriend's overactive child?
Q. I love my boyfriend, I always have, since we were in highschool I just never got the chance to be with him, until now (10 years later). He has a 5 year old son (with his exgirlfriend) who is completely overactive. They broke up just after he was ...
A. 11 January 2011: I think it's lovely that you're still trying and making an effort to understand your partners son and to help him. too often people consider walking away when the child becomes a problem.
My daughter has adhd, so she has the hyperactivity part aswe... (read in full...)
How can I make friends with benefits more?
Q. I have this on and off again sexual relationship with a guy who recently became my friend on Facebook. His actions are really confusing. Sometimes he shows he wants to see me again and then doesn't follow through. When we are around each other ...
A. 10 January 2011: friends with benefits can absolutly become more. That's how me and my bf started and now we've been together nearly 2 years and planning on trying for a baby. I agree it's rare but it's not impossible.
However, you can't 'make' someone want to be w... (read in full...)
Is this weird feeling in my stomach normal?
Q. Every time we read this romantic book in class and the guy does something really sweet my tummy goes funny and it's kind of weird is this normal??? Anyone experienced this???...
A. 10 January 2011: completely normal. and lovely! I call them tummy flips :) As petinal says, it'll happen when you meet a boy you really like too.... (read in full...)
He wants children but has said he would rather have our relationship without kids than no relationship at all. Will this cause problems in the future?
Q. Hi I am at a crisis point with my boyfriend. I am 38 (very soon 39) and he is 34. I have never been particularly interested in having children - not like many women who feel the desire to be a mother very strongly. I have been seeing my boyfriend ...
A. 7 January 2011: Well whatever you do don't have a baby that you don't want just to please your boyfriend. I'm not sure what other advice I can offer you as it's a pretty horrible sitution to be in but he's a grown man and if he's made his decision that he'd rather ... (read in full...)
What does he get from being with them rather than our son and me?
Q. Been with my spouse for 5 years now, but he has cheated in the past. However the past year he has been the worst to me and put me through an extreme amount of hurt. He cheated twice this year but not just gone and slept with some one he's left our ...
A. 7 January 2011: So your question is what does he get from being with them. Actually you should be asking yourself what do you get from being with him? A whole lot of hurt and disrespect would be the answer! He is never going to change, why would he when you've ... (read in full...)
Sex hurts real bad...any advice??
Q. Hi everybody I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 18 and we have been dating almost 2 years and we are truly in love and we feel that we ae ready for sex we are both virgins but we have tried several times and it hurts me extremely bad he's very large and I'm ...
A. 7 January 2011: As difficult as it is, you need to relax. This situation won't improve while you're still nervous. Next time you're getting intimate with your bf don't tell yourself it has to end in sex. This will only put more pressure on you which in turn will ... (read in full...)
Should I not have mentioned my late period to my BF?
Q. I just want to know, is this my fault? I have been on and off with this man for 5 years. He is the only man i've loved in 5 years. We just got back together and things (I thought) were going really well for the past 3 months. He had told me he...
A. 6 January 2011: Well it's always a risky little game asking things like that just to see what your partners response would be. You probably shouldn't have mentioned it until you thought you may be pregnant but hindsight is a wonderful thing and you can't go back ... (read in full...)
How do you get rid of boredom?
Q. How do you get rid of boredom?...
A. 6 January 2011: Personally I write. Anything and everything. Or you could help someone out and answer a couple questions on here?!... (read in full...)
It hurts when he looks at other women
Q. Hi, I need some insights... My bf and I are in a great relationship for over a year and half, we love each other so much and we plan on getting married. But he's a MAN and he can't help looking at other women. I know, they say it's normal, "m...
A. 5 January 2011: dmartin89 is spot on. It's your problem, not your boyfriends. I mean that in the nicest possible way but until you understand that your lack of self esteem is making you feel the way you do there will always be a problem. If it wasn't this then it ... (read in full...)
Feeling sad, friend just got engaged yet I know I won't be for another 3 years!
Q. My friend just got engaged after being with her bf for 2 year. I have been with mine for 2 and I know it'll be at LEAST another 3 before my bf ever even considers it [due to training for his job]. I feel a bit saddened. I know I shouldnt compare ...
A. 31 December 2010: One grand gesture doesn't make a great relationship. Does he show you that he loves you with his actions and words? Having a boyfriend who's willing to get down on one knee wouldn't be much good if he wasn't a kind, loving and reliable man in the ... (read in full...)
How do I go out into the whole wide world beginning the new adventure of life, my life, without being to scared and messing things up?
Q. good morning from a sunny south africa. happy festive season to everyone. ok firstly i dont know if i have a real question or if its rather a fear. wait let me begin and see where this ends. ok im 17 years old and wrote my matric exam this year c...
A. 30 December 2010: What you're feeling is completely natural. It's a huge step to go out in the world and stand on your own two feet. There's no way of knowing which things you'll mess up and what you'll get right but you'll be the same as every other human on this ... (read in full...)
Share relationships that have gone right?
Q. So I enjoy answering questions here on dearcupid when I have spare time. The thing is they are mostly about relationships gone wrong/problems/etc. I was wondering if people would post about relationships they are in or have been in where things have ...
A. 30 December 2010: What a nice idea :) If you ask this again you should write it as an article.
Okay well I think I'm one of the people in a happy relationship and I've also been on the other side of that not too many years ago so I really think you learn a lot from... (read in full...)
What's the best spacing between kids?
Q. Hey me and my husband both want to have a lot of kids but theres one problem, we cant agree on the spaceing of it. He wants to have them all close togather but i want them to be spaced out. So they each can have a "specail moment" like when they all ...
A. 29 December 2010: I don't think anyone can tell you what's 'best' because it is such a personal choice.
I think you'll find that when you've had a child, you'll know what's best for you as parents and be able to decide from there.... (read in full...)
Is it too soon for two college students to consider marriage?
Q. hi. i'm 21 and i am kind of confused. i've been with my boyfriend for a year and and a half. he has always been there for me, in the good times and the bad times. i know for sure he loves me for real, and that he would do anything for me. we're both ...
A. 29 December 2010: I think it's something to keep in mind. Just because you're young doesn't mean that you should be fooling around with different people but a year and a half is not an awfully long time in the scheme of things. If you really think you might want to ... (read in full...)
Is this behavior attention seeking?
Q. My girlfriend has these hits of feeling bad, and she makes up depressing things in her head and then converts them to reality and gets really shitty about it and then ends up taking it out on me. So I try to ignore it, and it usually works. B...
A. 23 December 2010: You don't go into too much detail about exactly what it is she says and does although I suspect it may be attention seeking behaviour. It's also a possibility that she has some mental health problems in which case someone should speak to her about ... (read in full...)
Our 2 year anniversary, and the only thing I can think of to give him is sex?
Q. Major Issue, please help. Me and my boyfriend have been together for so long. Almost our 2 years anniversary. And I want to get him something special. But, the only thing that comes to mind, is sex. We're both virgins, and he loves my body, b...
A. 23 December 2010: Keep it in my mind as a possibility. The moment you tell yourself that's what's definitly going to happen and you have to go through with it you'll never stop worrying. Don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. Get him a little gift so that if ... (read in full...)
Would society think our relationship is wrong?
Q. i know that this may sound wrong okay but here goes. i am 16 he is 27 we are in love okay and i no that may sound naive but we have been in a strong relationship for about 8 months i am almost 17. well we have a lot of respect for each other a...
A. 23 December 2010: In a few years the age gap will be barely noticeable. You sound like you love and respect each other and seeing as though you are above the age of consent then I don't think anyone would look down on this relationship. If they do just hold your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's dad hates me, my boyfriend makes me feel horrible and we disagree on how to take care of our 4 month old!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 2 years and we have an almost 4 month old son together. I'm 20 he's 21. I don't know what's up with me but I feel like i can't cope anymore and I don't know what to do with myself because I feel like I'm not happy with ...
A. 22 December 2010: Firstly there is nothing wrong with trying to do the very best you can for your kids. Of course everybody wants to be the perfect parnet, it's an impossible dream but good mums always keep trying!
It's not you that's out of order it's your boyf... (read in full...)
My minute man doesn't last long enough to satisfy me and won't do what will!
Q. my boyfriend have sex with me for only a minute ,and im not satisfied .we came up on ways he can satisfy me but he dont want to what must i do leave him or stay...
A. 22 December 2010: well two can play that game! maybe you shouldn't do the things he likes until he learns to satisfy you aswell. This is clearly a one sided relationship at the moment and he needs to learn not to be so selfish. ... (read in full...)
He says I love you at the weirdest times
Q. so far now ive been dating this guy about 5 months and we kinda had a fight about all his i love yous hes said to me. He was very shy at first and still five months later hes still shy about saying it. he was the one to even bring it up in the first ...
A. 22 December 2010: It's understandable that you don't want to think you have to be perfect in order for him to love you. That's an impossible thing to live up to!
I think that believing him when he tells you he loves you will come with time because it takes so much... (read in full...)
I have found out that my BF exchanges numbers with females and texts, sexts, calls them.
Q. I have found out that my BF exchanges numbers with females and texts, sexts, calls them. I have confronted him numerouse times and he claims they mean nothing. I even beleive that he may have cheated to but dont have any solid proof but only when i ...
A. 22 December 2010: I agree with dirtball. That's exactly what I was going to say...two wrongs don't make a right!
You say he might have cheated but in my opinion he already has! He broke the trust and went behind you're back when he was sexting these women and now ... (read in full...)
He says I love you at the weirdest times
Q. so far now ive been dating this guy about 5 months and we kinda had a fight about all his i love yous hes said to me. He was very shy at first and still five months later hes still shy about saying it. he was the one to even bring it up in the first ...
A. 22 December 2010: It doesn't matter when he says it. In fact actions speak louder than words but seeing as you're so fixated on the timing of his 'i love yous' then I really would advise you to stop thinking so much into it. So he said I love you during sex? so ... (read in full...)
My friend copies a lot of things that I do.
Q. Hi! i know there are probably more "dearcupids" about this, so I'm sorry to repeat. My friend, who's been one of my best friends for about 2 years, has recently started copying me. Like for instance on facebook, when I started using D: and :D,...
A. 22 December 2010: well they do say immitation is the greatest form of flattery!
Try not to worry about it too much. When you go shopping point out things that you think will suit her and encourage her to develop her own style, she's likely to listen to you seei... (read in full...)
All I want for christmas...
Q. I hold my hands up to usually being quite shallow at christmas. Yes, I know it should all be about spending time with the people you love and while that's something i enjoy and look forward to, I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of failing to ...
A. 18 December 2010: oh yeah I completely agree about seeing other peoples faces light up! I love that part more than anything because I try to make every gift personal to that person and put a lot of thought in.
Merry christmas :) hope it's a special time x... (read in full...)
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