A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey guysi have soemthing to ask you allis it okay when the girls kinda kiss each other, not with tongue though, but just kissing, my girlfriend is doin this with her friends and its really pissing me off :S i always tell her to stop doin it but she just keeps doin it, shes always like, its just a small mwah thats it nothing special !! whats wrong with her or whats wrong with me !!
View related questions:
kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): I don't think it matters what type of a kiss it is, really.. if you're asking her to stop, and she is ignoring your feelings, she is being completely selfish. A relationship doesn't work that way, just because it's a small friendly kiss or not - if you're not okay with it, and she ignores that simple fact, than she is not worth your time. If she ignores you with such things, she will probably ignore you for other issues.
A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 I would honestly say if its a peck there is nothing wrong with it, but if it bothers you and you told her that it makes you feel uncomfortable and you would like for her to stop and she continues to do it than obviously she is not taking your feelings in consideration here.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): If it's just a peck, I really wouldn't worry.
If she is doing more and she's doing it in front of you, I would suspect she is trying to turn you on (because it's another woman) or otherwise doing it in general for attention (because it's with another woman).
Either way she probably doesn't categorize it as cheating or disprespectful, because it's "only another woman."
My advice is to articulate that you find it disprespectful, but don't whine about. She may confuse the constant complaining with jealousy (one of the reasons she may be doing it.)
Another thing you can do is choose not to witness it. If she starts up, leave the room.
I think she is failing to understand that it's not an "innocent" act just because it's a woman. She needs to understand it's disrespectful.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): The fact that you say that her behavior makes you very uncomfortable should be enough for her to stop. If she really cared about your feelings she would. I feel the same way as you do, kissing another person is bad in my book, whether they be male or female I don't really see the difference.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 It depends on the person. Obviously this is fine for her and her girlfriends. It's not fine for you. But, I promote respect for each other and I absolutely can not stand it when a man tries to control his partner. Let the woman kiss her friends, it's a friendship kiss. It's perfectly normal between some friends to do that! My ex forced me to stop kissing my best friend on the lips, and I just felt more and more resentment towards him for restraining me in what I feel was right for me and right for my friendship. My new boyfriend didn't even see the issue with it when I asked him (I only asked since my ex had made such a big deal out of it).
Get over it or find a girlfriend who doesn't do anything you don't like. It's not like you are perfect and never do anything she doesn't like. It's called accepting people for who they are. What she's doing isn't cheating, and it's not harmful in any way. Now if she was a drug addict I'd promote you step in and take action to stop her behaviour as it's destructive. But kissing your friends and showing them you care for them is anything but destructive.
If she's too friendly with her friends for your taste.... go find yourself another girlfriend. She will certainly be capable of finding a man who doesn't get pissed of by this. You're not allowed to tell her what to do in either case, in relationships you're not supposed to try and change people. but accept them for who they are or leave.
Not that there's anything wrong with either of you. You just have a different idea of what's ok to do with friends than she has. None of you are wrong. Some friends do this, some don't. There's no rule on it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Lilyxoxo  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 As long as her friends do not have something hanging from their pants, your all good ! Please add me as a friend. Thanks.
...............................
A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 What do you mean by kiss? If you mean a quick peck on the lips then I really don't see what you're getting so upset about...
anything more than that and yes, you're entitled to want her to stop!
...............................
|
