I don't know whether to tell my boyfriend that I cheated or not
Q. Okay so I went out one night at the start of my relationship and I barely remember anything. I'd gone out with a few friends and end up in a club on my own. I got speaking to a guy and he walked me part way home. He ended up giving me his number but ...
A. 6 March 2017: This sounds look nothing at all to me, best forgotten about! My only advice though is to be more careful, you put yourself at risk being drunk and alone. x... (read in full...)
I want to marry this guy, how soon can I propose to him?
Q. Im thinking of proposing to my boyfriend on our one year anniversary! The thought makes me super excited, not nervous or scared, like in previous relationships. So I just want to ask, what are your thoughts on feeling the way I do after such ...
A. 3 March 2017: I would give it another six months, to get past the initial honeymoon period, then if you are still sure he is the right one, consider that anniversary proposal. I proposed to my wife after we had been together for 10 months, and we are still ... (read in full...)
Should I ? I'm tempted to contact the other people involved and ask them
Q. Looking for some advice here.. About a year ago, I found out that my fiancée and two of her (our?) friends had been exchanging intimate photos - and had even been together a couple of times. I confronted her, she broke down, told me that the o...
A. 24 February 2017: I don't think going to the other couple is a good idea. Speak to your fiancée about your nagging concerns. If she wants to tell you the full story, she will.... (read in full...)
Should I message her on facebook, or should I just leave it?
Q. I went out on monday night for a student night and I met this really nice girl where we danced. I bought her a drink. She had a friend who was dancing with my friend but he left somewhere and I ended up going to see one of my other friends, but I sa...
A. 22 February 2017: If it was me, I would! You have nothing to lose, but everything to gain!... (read in full...)
Should I end this relationship or work with it? He's become my best friend, but the excitement and passion have faded
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now but i am 18 and just starting to feel like i want to have other boyfriends and get to know other guys. I do really love my boyfriend but hes kind of more my bestfriend now. I defintely dont have ...
A. 22 February 2017: You are very young and at an age when relationships often come and go. It's difficult because you care for him and there are commitments like the holiday that will have to be broken, but you shouldn't stay with him just for those reasons. It ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and a little afraid of sex but I'm worried this guy will want it
Q. I'm a virgin at the age of 21 and always feel embarrassed talking about it. I've never done anything with a guy... But I've met a guy and we get on well... however I'm afraid of having sex. I don't know why. I just think he will just want that. An...
A. 21 February 2017: It seems to me that you are interested in this guy, but not ready for a sexual relationship with him. You need to tell him this and see how he reacts. If he's genuinely interested he will stick around. If he just wants sex, he won't. Sleeping over ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt my girlfriend but after 3 years I am not sure that I want to be with her
Q. How can i break up with my girlfriend? Im not sure if i even want to. We have been together for three years. We have been having problems recently. She told me she was not sure where we were going, that we were stuck in the same old patterns doing ...
A. 21 February 2017: I can't add much to the excellent advice you have been given, but sometimes even long term relationships run their course, especially when you are relatively young. It can be difficult walking away from a relationship that has been your life for the ... (read in full...)
He suggested we have a meal together. Do you think it's a date?
Q. My male friend and I were supposed to just be going out for drinks this Friday night, but he asked me if I wanted to go out for a meal before that too. Do you think it's a date? He hasn't said whether it is or not. I feel nervous about havin...
A. 20 February 2017: Great news and I guess reading between the lines that the date went well! Best wishes for your future together!... (read in full...)
He suggested we have a meal together. Do you think it's a date?
Q. My male friend and I were supposed to just be going out for drinks this Friday night, but he asked me if I wanted to go out for a meal before that too. Do you think it's a date? He hasn't said whether it is or not. I feel nervous about havin...
A. 18 February 2017: This is a difficult one, given his contact with his ex. I suggest you tell him about your concerns about this. See what he says! x... (read in full...)
If he misses his ex does that mean his affection for me was fake?
Q. Seeing him for 3 months. He told me he loved me 3 separate times when drunk, to which I didn't respond. He came over to my place all the time, he said he wanted to meet my parents. Then the last time he told me he loved me, the next day he just sto...
A. 16 February 2017: This fella sounds like very bad news to me. The drink episode was incredibly immature. He sounds like the sort of guy who wants to do whatever he likes, but not allow a woman to have any freedom. Be careful!... (read in full...)
Will my life improve? What do I need to do? I feel so alone and scared.
Q. Am a 41 year old woman and I've asked for help and taken advice from here. Which is probably why I'm back. Asking for advice. I'm divorced from an alcoholic husband and with the advice given to me, I have even found the strength to end an affair...
A. 16 February 2017: Hi there! I would say that life is full of ups and downs, and you've just been through a tough time over the last 12-18 months, relationship wise and health wise. You are still young though and health permitting have plenty of time to rebuild. You ... (read in full...)
He suggested we have a meal together. Do you think it's a date?
Q. My male friend and I were supposed to just be going out for drinks this Friday night, but he asked me if I wanted to go out for a meal before that too. Do you think it's a date? He hasn't said whether it is or not. I feel nervous about havin...
A. 16 February 2017: Given that you want to date him, and he seems pretty keen, then Friday should be interesting! It's just how you play it, as it hasn't been officially declared a 'date'. I would be a bit flirty and see how things go! Enjoy! x... (read in full...)
I like older guys. He was respectful to me. But then his decision to ejaculate on my face bothered me. Were his actions out of line?
Q. I'm attracted to older men and that's what I normally date. I met this guy recently. He's 34. After exchanging texts for a while, we went out. It went really well. We had great conversation. There was chemistry between us. It was great all around. I ...
A. 15 February 2017: In my view it is disrespectful. He should have asked if it was something he could do, not just assume that you wouldn't mind. And he didn't even apologise after! I think you should tell him that you didn't like what he did. x... (read in full...)
He suggested we have a meal together. Do you think it's a date?
Q. My male friend and I were supposed to just be going out for drinks this Friday night, but he asked me if I wanted to go out for a meal before that too. Do you think it's a date? He hasn't said whether it is or not. I feel nervous about havin...
A. 15 February 2017: Ooh! I would say, yes! He's subtlety moving it into date territory. How do you feel about it? You didn't indicate whether you wanted to date him or not, but it might be time to consider this, before Friday! ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to give his friend a hand job!
Q. my husband has been trying to talk me into giving his best friend a mercy hand job , Because his wife has some kind of a medical problem ? His friend has been so sad ever since his wife has cut him off . I am seriously considering doing it for him ...
A. 15 February 2017: It's certainly an unusual request! I wonder if your husband is turned on by the thought of you pleasuring his friend? It could be more about his desires than his friend's needs. You don't need to do anything you don't want though. Might be worth ... (read in full...)
How do I not worry that my girlfriend will chose the easy way out when returning home?
Q. We're currently long distance and have been together for 6 months. We met in his home country but unfortunately my girlfriend has to move back to her home country. After we met, I have been studying overseas. We're very serious about each other. We ...
A. 14 February 2017: It's difficult, but you just have to trust her. She sounds like she has the situation under control and only has eyes for you. It will be difficult for her getting attention from her ex boyfriend, and it is difficult for you because you can't ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I've been visiting massage parlours?
Q. I'm a married man in my early 50s with a big secret. I've developed a habit of visiting massage parlours and receiving massages that end with sexual stimulation and orgasm. This started a few months ago and I love the excitement of headin...
A. 14 February 2017: Just to follow up on this, and to thank you for your replies. I've decided (a) not to tell my wife about the visits, and (b) to stop the visits to massage parlours. I haven't been to one since I posted the original question. Maybe it was something I ... (read in full...)
Should I just enjoy our FWB relationship as it is?
Q. I got out of an 8 year relationship last year, and recently I signed up for tinder with the intent of finding a FWB. I went on dates with a few guys, but the first guy I hit it off with so well, I couldn't bring myself to pursue any of the other...
A. 14 February 2017: I would be honest and say that although you started off just looking for some fun, you now have feelings for him and want the relationship to be a full one. Presumably the thought of him dating other women is not a good thought for you? In that case ... (read in full...)
I need help to deal with new found info about wife's past. What should I do?
Q. My wife and I have been married for five years and have two kids. I have never asked anything about her past all I knew is she wasn't a virgin when we met. This past summer we were at a pool party and one of my best friend's from school was ther...
A. 9 February 2017: I think you need to think carefully about your next step. If you confront her with your friend's 'theory' (which may or may not be true) and she admits it was her, what next? Are you going to accept her youthful indiscretion or not? Give yourself ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me going out with male friends for drinks
Q. Am I in the wrong ? After recently starting uni I made a small group of three male friends whom I worked on an assessment with and we automatically became friends. We are all older than the normal uni starting age so its nice to have someone on ...
A. 8 February 2017: Can you imagine a lifetime of his jealousy every time you speak to a member of the opposite sex? I can't believe his infantile behaviour or. The lack of trust he has in you. Definitely meet up with your friends and tell him you want to keep their ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's sexual past troubles me, What should I do?
Q. My girlfriend and i have been together for 8 months and we both are in love and have talked about a future. we both talked about pasts as well and got on the subject of sex. i was disgusted when she told me on how many people she slept with and...
A. 8 February 2017: I would take this as a positive. She has had a lot of experience, she presumably knows what she likes sexually, and she has chosen to be with you!! Personally, I would always prefer a partner with experience than one without. You have been together ... (read in full...)
He says his On line friend is just fun and escapism. It sounds like emotional cheating to me. What should I do?
Q. Would love advice as to if " emotional cheating " on line is as bad as the physical cheating . I have dated my guy for two years and walked in on him skyping a woman who he knows through " business " when he was saying " love talking to you ,...
A. 8 February 2017: This goes beyond friendly chatting and is hurtful to you, so I think you are right to be upset by it. I expect it is massaging his ego to have another woman being 'intimate' with him, but it's disrespectful to you, so you should tell him you're not ... (read in full...)
My husband and I had a threesome with a guy. Should I push the issue or let it go on naturally?
Q. Recently I found porn on my husbands phone and confronted him. He confessed that he was turned on by the fact that he wanted me to do a three-some. Well yesterday he brought a male friend home and after several drinks I found myself going down o...
A. 7 February 2017: It sounds like you both enjoyed this happening, so it's your choice! There is a whole world out there of people who enjoy this lifestyle so you are not alone. It's important that it is purely sex for fun rather than any emotional involvement, but as ... (read in full...)
We have Skype online sex regularly. He is my first cousin and separated from his wife. Is this OK?
Q. Im having skype sex with my first cousin. Im 34, he's 32. I just got out of a 10 year relationship 6 mths ago, and been feeling very sexually frustrated. He's separated from his wife for 3 years now. He lives in Canada, and im from Cali. We ...
A. 4 February 2017: I think you're just rebounding from the end of a long term relationship, and indulging in something that is exciting but not 'real sex'. I would suggest it doesn't change into anything more real, he is your cousin after all.... (read in full...)
At the end of my tether over our difficulties. Sex continues to be painful. What else could help me feel less of a failure in this situation?
Q. Hi. I am 28 year old female . I have had the same partner for eight years. For the last three years sex has been very painful. I have been to the doctor and they are yet to find anything wrong with me to cause it (and definitely no ST...
A. 2 February 2017: Sorry to hear about your problems. My own guess is that the problems are psychological, caused by anxiety about previous experiences. You have been to get physically checked out, so it must be something else. You have also used lube and lots of ... (read in full...)
Grossed Out by Violent Behavior
Q. Hi. I wrote two times here about an older man I had a crush on, got advice here, stepped back and realized that like the aunts and uncles warned that he was a no go. (Thanks again!) I've been cordial since he works/lives not too far from where I ...
A. 1 February 2017: You have excellent advice from other posters. The only additional thing I would say is that if he does get friendly with another woman, she needs to know what happened. Otherwise, she is at risk.... (read in full...)
My husband has Erectile Dysfunction issues and yet is not interested in seeing the Doctor about this. I get no satisfaction. What can I do?
Q. Hey, my husband couldn't have sex with me. It's been a year since our wedding and I'm still being a virgin , I want to experience it. He says that he has early ejaculation and erection issues too. He never really tried to have with me but he a...
A. 1 February 2017: This is a difficult one. There is only a solution if your husband admits he has a problem and wants to do something about it. I expect he is embarrassed about going to get professional help, but without it you are not going to have a proper sex life ... (read in full...)
How be a warmer person to my Dad and ask for his forgiveness?
Q. I am staying at my mother and father's house this week and it has brought up a lot of reflection upon how I used badly I used to treat my parents as a teenager. I especially feel guilty about treating my father poorly. As a teenager I resen...
A. 1 February 2017: That's a great post and clearly illustrates your growing maturity. Things were obviously difficult between you and your dad, but it was a two way thing. His behaviour was not exemplary. Next time you see him, you could take him for a drink or meal ... (read in full...)
I'm more interested in sex than my boyfriend
Q. Should I back off and give boyfriend some room? Is there something wrong with me because I have a high sex drive? How can I get him to perform oral sex first without directly asking for it? We've been dating for 9 months I'm in love with him. I ...
A. 25 January 2017: You sound like a lot of fun to me! I'm not sure what his problem is! There are plenty of women who have higher sex drives than their men, so you are not alone in that problem. I think he has just got a bit lazy and needs shaking out of it! I have ... (read in full...)
Everything was great .... except the sex!
Q. Hi. I am seeing someone and we get on so well. Everything is great. But we had sex for the first time and he treated me like a one night stand. He was just concerned about having an orgasm. He has never been in a relationship before. I know the ...
A. 23 January 2017: I think you need to give it time. It was your first time having sex, and his first time ever! It was never going to be a great experience. The next time you have sex you should make sure it is a time and a place where you can take things nice and ... (read in full...)
This bothers me a lot. What can I do? Married nearly 15 years and now my wife is no longer interested in Bjs.
Q. Been married for nearly 15 years. My wife has basically decided that she will no longer perform oral sex on me. It's not like I was getting once a week, in fact once every two years is more like the current rate. When we first married, it was some...
A. 18 January 2017: From a personal perspective, oral sex is only worth having if the giver really wants to give. Otherwise it's just a mechanical act. Given that she doesn't want to give, you either accept it or end the marriage. For me, it's a lovely thing to receive ... (read in full...)
Logically I know it doesn't matter, but I am struggling with my Girlfriend's past!
Q. I know a lot of you are going to say this is just another guy with hang-ups and insecurities suffering from hypocritical retrospective jealousy – and to a certain extent you may be right – but I really am desperate to fix this (fix myself?), so ...
A. 17 January 2017: My wife had quite an extensive and varied sex life before we met. She has told me most of it, I suspect she has kept some of it back. I'm totally comfortable with it. I'm glad she lived life to the full before we met, otherwise she might be more ... (read in full...)
I still feel embarrassed 8 months later.
Q. I expressed interest in guy that I was interested in 8 months ago but he turned me down. I felt disappointed but brushed it off and acted like it was no big deal. However, the long term effect was embarrassment. I thought he was interested in me...
A. 17 January 2017: For men, this is a normal part of life. You see a girl you like, you ask her out, she makes her excuses, you move on. For women, the traditional approach was you waited to be asked, but dropped some subtle hints you were interested. It's good that ... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend isn't really committed to me!
Q. Hi, I'm just looking for some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I'm really unhappy. I feel like he isn't really committed to me, I'll give you some examples. He's messaged other girls behind my back and admitted he l...
A. 16 January 2017: This does appear to be a relationship that has run its course, and just needs someone to bring it to an end. That person looks like it will have to be you, as your boyfriend is unwilling to take that action. Don't be hard on yourself, these things ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I can't leave him because he's planned the next 5 years around me!
Q. Have I fallen out of love with him or am i just depressed? Recently i can't bring myself to say i love you to my boyfriend. We have been friends for 3 years and have dated since last May. In October i felt the same way as i do now just feeling dow...
A. 14 January 2017: I like the way he has planned his life out and you don't even get a say. He's a manipulative bully and best left to his own devices. You can do a lot better.... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend hasn't wanted to video chat. Does it mean that he does not miss me?
Q. So far in my LDR, I have been the one to mostly initiate video calls, though we text throughout the day. I have asked for more vid chats, shorter times, but I usually have to ask for vid chat. It wears on me that I usually have to always hint/ask....
A. 14 January 2017: Personally, I find video calls, face timing etc excruciating and do my best to avoid. I'm perfectly happy texting, writing, emailing, phoning as means of communication. It comes down to personal preference. So I wouldn't worry about it. We are all ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to masturbate?
Q. Being a sportsperson I masturbate , is it okay to do it? I have heard it decreases stamina etc..just please help ....
A. 12 January 2017: It's totally OK for you to masturbate, as others have argued far more eloquently than I ever could. Just as long as it's not when you are actually playing sport.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex that feelings have resurfaced for him even though we are both married to others?
Q. Hi guys! My ex-partner and I separated amicably over a decade ago, and keep in contact and remain friendly towards one another for the sake of our fifteen year old daughter, whom we co-parent. Our relationship, which lasted for about eight years, f...
A. 11 January 2017: I can understand your feelings. He was a huge part of your life and you went through so much together, both good and bad. However, my thoughts are that you should keep your feelings to yourself. That chapter of your life closed and things have moved ... (read in full...)
The sex is good but I want more!
Q. I'll get straight to the point: I'm not happy with my sex life. I'e been with my husband for 15 years, we're married for 4. we are happy in our realtionship- though there are always things to work on. He works a lot, which is fine. He is caring and ...
A. 9 January 2017: This is a difficult one as there is an element of sexual incompatibility in your marriage that I can see is frustrating you. The lack of oral sex for instance can be a big issue for people. Was this an issue before you got married?
You have to ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to date other men for sex!
Q. I have been married for 17 years my husband for the past 5 year asks med to have sex with other men while we are having sex it gets him harder, should I? I have explained to him sex is more then sex to me, he says for me to go out and date then. I ...
A. 9 January 2017: This is actually a common male fantasy, to see their wives having sex with other men. For some it just stays as a fantasy, for others they want it to become a reality. It's your choice really, if it's not something you are interested in tell him. I ... (read in full...)
Why was my BF not receptive enough to my naughty Snapchat video?
Q. I sent my BF a racy Snapchat video. I don't want to say exactly but it was definitely "naughty" and involved private parts. Well, it took him 2 hours to see it and respond. He said... "Mmmmmm. How am I supposed to sleep tonight after seeing t...
A. 8 January 2017: It's funny how different people read different things into his reaction. I felt his response was very positive and the reference to 'not being able to sleep' was alluding to something else! I wouldn't be concerned if I was you, unless there are ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I've been visiting massage parlours?
Q. I'm a married man in my early 50s with a big secret. I've developed a habit of visiting massage parlours and receiving massages that end with sexual stimulation and orgasm. This started a few months ago and I love the excitement of headin...
A. 4 January 2017: Thank you for the replies. I know I deserve all the criticism received and I know that I should channel my efforts into my marriage rather than seeking illicit thrills. Yes, I would be shocked if my wife behaved in the same way. Our marriage is ... (read in full...)
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