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Should I message him again? Is this a technical issue?

Tagged as: Crushes, Social Media<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Can someone please help me with a technical issue to do with text messaging?

A man who is now an ex work colleague and who I am certain really likes me, but who knows I've recently had a very difficult time, let me know that he would like to see me when things feel a bit more settled for me. To be clear, we no longer work together but have liked one another for a long time.

I would never usually initiate. But, after consulting with a dear friend, she is certain he is not wanting me to do all the work / not being 'low investment' but is just trying not to pressure me in any way and is waiting for me to signal 'ok, i'm ready to meet up, would you like to do something..?"This is, she says, why he indicated that I should let him know when I'm ready.

SO, even though I wouldn't usually initiate, I decided to text this guy yesterday. Now, just to put this into context, several of my friends and I will just email each other rather than text, because we all tend to read our emails straightaway anyway. This is the main pattern previously with this guy and I, but then we meet in person sometimes and sometimes we text (but not that often).

What has complicated this is that the guy has two phones. The last time I had to contact him, he texted me and asked me to text him on a phone that I wouldn't usually text him on - I don't know if this is his private rather than his work phone. We had a brief text exchange on that phone and then he called me. On his OTHER phone, we have had longer texts, but usually mainly work related.

The thing is, on the phone that I think may be his private one, he originally sent me an iMessage which shows up as a blue message. I then texted back and all our communication on that phone is blue and then grey message bubbles. I decided to text him on this phone yesterday. When I texted, it initially said "not deliverable", so I pressed 'try again' and it sent a message but it came up GREEN on my phone, under his older BLUE text messages. Something told me something was wrong but I'm no good with technology so I didn't do anything else.

It is now over 24 hours later and he has not responded. I am trying to 'play it cool' and not get into a state. BUT, I looked through several of my message histories with my other friends and the are all either in blue and grey message bubbles (ie. iPhone messages) or MMS green and grey message bubbles. NONE of them have a mixture of blue message bubbles and green message bubbles.

Is it true that, if someone has an iPhone, they won't receive MMS messages unless they have a plan in place for this with their carrier? I am thinking maybe he can't receive MMS messages on this particular phone? SO, I am now thinking that maybe he just did not receive my green MMS message at all.

What should I do? Should I wait a while longer and message his other phone ie. the one that we most often messaged on in the past? Or should I email him? Or call him? Or nothing? I just can't believe this person would not answer me - he's honestly been far too caring and interested to just not respond.

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (16 February 2018):

femmenoir agony auntSorry to sound rude, however, you're in your 40s and this situation sounds like a teen issue.

You should simply get straight to the point and ring him.

You will never know where you stand exactly, until you actually speak to him.

Stop worrying needlessly, stop worrying about so much unnecessary stuff, but deal with the real issue at hand and that is to find out where you stand, good or bad.

Finding out, will spare you any ongoing worries.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (15 February 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntBest thing to do is text message his other phone say hi not sure if you got my last message on your other number but am wondering would you like to go for coffee or lunch?

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A male reader, Phil052 United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2018):

Phil052 agony auntI'd like to help but I didn't understand any of that!

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2018):

N91 agony auntI'm with Honeypie.

What's wrong with just calling him?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 February 2018):

Honeypie agony auntYou make WAY too much out of this. It's not that complicated. CALL him and set up a day to meet for coffee and a chat!

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