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Why send me a video of his girlfriend?

Tagged as: Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 January 2018) 9 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2018)
A female United States age 30-35, *no writes:

My to be ex husband sent me his intimate vdo of him with his girlfriend. After we have been talking about divorce for these past years. We have been lived in 2 different countries though. So he sent me that last week, saying I should know and he wanted to be honest with me. Also told me he loved her. In reply I said, that's good for you. Now you should divorce me as I have always wanted. The dude didn't try to cooperate. I think what he did was really funny. But WHY did he do that ? He could have just told me he was dating.

View related questions: different countries, divorce

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2018):

Use that video in your divorce.Use it to get the settlement you deserve.He is not very smart....he screwed himself by sending you that.You file first..you file here make him pay for being so stupid.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (17 January 2018):

Some people can't move on unless they know they left you in a bad mental state, or an emotional-wreck.

He's trying to push your buttons; because he knows you are irritated although you prefer not to show it. Don't let him get to you, he'll stop when he gets tired of himself.

The new girlfriend is thinking the same-thing you are.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (16 January 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntHe wanted to hurt you its as simple as that. He sounds like a horrible man and you should be glad that you got rid off him. I think you should contact a lawyer and get on to that divorce.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States + , writes (16 January 2018):

He told you why he did, so that you would hurry up and divorce him. So why don’t you? He sounds like he’s kind of a tool I should think you would be happy to be rid of him.

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A male reader, Phil052 United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2018):

Phil052 agony auntLook at the positive, it confirms how lucky you are to be out of this relationship! I just feel sorry for his new woman. Very best wishes to you for the future!

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A male reader, TylerSage United States +, writes (16 January 2018):

TylerSage agony auntWell, I get why you're divorcing him.

As @Honeypie says it appears he was trying to hurt your feelings, there isn't much of another reason unless his aim was to hint at a threesome or some sexual act among the 3 of you. Or it could mean that he doesn't want a divorce. He may still love you. He sounds difficult. I'm sure the day you realized to leave this man something inside you erupted tell you not to put up with anymore of whatever.

Do what ever it is that feel right to you. But make sure this is what you want. Maybe you can get some lawyers to a act on your behalf to make things a bit more serious.

All the best.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (16 January 2018):

Anonymous 123 agony aunt

Obviously to hurt you! To drive home the point in the way that would hurt you the most... That you mean nothing to him while he's completely into her (sorry I don't mean to be gross but that's what he's doing). To humiliate you, to make you cry, scream and writhe in the agony of seeing your husband with another woman.

Can you do yourself a favour OP? Please don't allow any of the emotions that he wants out of you. These way, you're just letting him win. Save the tape, show it in court and take the asshole to the cleaners. Make sure you take every penny of his and then we'll see how the new woman puts up with him

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2018):

He wanted to hurt you. He is probably bitter bc you have left him. As honeypie says file for divorce now you have evidence of him being with another woman.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 January 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI think he was hoping to hurt your feelings to be honest. I mean WHO does that?

If he won't initiate the divorce, why don't you? It's not like you HAVE to sit on your hand and wait for him to file for divorce, is it?

Look into how to file and GET it over with. Then after the divorce is final, just block him and move on.

What a nasty thing for him to do. Both to you and his new GF. Gross.

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