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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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He doesn't seem to understand that I can't text at work! How can I make it sink it?
Q. Is there any way I can stop my man being so needy? I love him to bits and he is everything I want in a partner but he's very clingy and dependant on me which is really starting to annoy me. He texts me all day every day. At his job he can. At my job ...
A. 18 November 2014: Youjustneed to say to him, not text him; "look, if I get caught sending a text from my work place, I could get fired so if I don't get back to you right away, it's because Ican't not because I don't want to." If he can't understand that maybe you ... (read in full...)
He needs space, but I want him to know I'm still interested!
Q. Hello all, I need some ideas on how to keep the chemistry going with a guy I've started talking to. We met online about a month ago and instantly clicked; talking on the phone about any and everything everyday, which I never thought I'd have the ...
A. 17 November 2014: Typically, when a guy says he needs his space to do whatever..it means "I feel like you are smothering me right now and I can't handle it any more so cool it(like gwet away!) in this case, he may have needed a respite but still wants a bit more of ... (read in full...)
Should I keep talking to my online guy?
Q. Thank you for clicking. I'm sorry if this isn't very well-worded -- I'm not really sure how to begin this, hah. A few years ago, I met someone who is now near and dear to my heart, who I'll call John. John and I met online, which, I know is a...
A. 17 November 2014: In my opinion(grain of salt) No, you need to focus on your health and that can best be done without the anxiety of your internet friend. With you wondering what he will think or say on the next post can't be a positive thing for your healing ... (read in full...)
Stability vs. Excitment
Q. I find that we, humans, seem to have a nature of wanting things that we don't have sometimes to a point where we are hurting people along the way just to get it, because we don't know how to appreciate them when it is already in front of us. But ...
A. 16 November 2014: at's deep and foder for late night thought but, Since 'm too far over the hill to even think about the option of being free to indulge. I must chose the stability option. It's safe and predictable. The second option assumes freedom (finacial) and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't return call or texts and is quick argue
Q. I wonder if the aforementioned signs or traits are a harbinger that a break up or something else is about to unfold. I don't expect her to pick up the phone or return my texts immediately, but lately it seems as if I'm becoming more of a chore ...
A. 16 November 2014: Hormones sound like a possible cause, Your age is noted as 41 to 50. Assuming hers is about the same, That's about the time for hormonal upsets to "kick in" Her doc would be able to run tests etc. Of course thats assuming she agrees there is a ... (read in full...)
How do I put this guy in his place? I need a good ultimatum line
Q. Hey Aunts So I have a crush on this guy for a while , back then he was mostly talking about his ex gf but the day his present gf came down (before that he referred her to me as an ex), he told me that they were just going to meet up and catch up....
A. 16 November 2014: I know one thing...you can know for sure he has no respect OR feelings for you if he treats you the way he is doing now.... (read in full...)
Can a man be happy with a slim girl when he really prefers BBW?
Q. My boyfriend is into pretty much only BBW / chubby porn, but won't just admit he fancies big girls. he says it gets him off but I just have a gut feeling he prefers big girls. None of his exes have been too chubby though and I am slim. Hi calls me ...
A. 15 November 2014: If he actually was a BBW freak he would have sought out one. you're the one he picked so get over that sillyness.... (read in full...)
My fiance and father of our child has revealed that he has fantasies about having sex with other women. How am I supposed to cope with this?
Q. What would you do/think if your fiance who you just had a baby with says he fantasises/wants to have sex with other women! One of the woman he sees around work and talks to. Hes never cheated as far as i know and says he only would sleep with oth...
A. 15 November 2014: I'm sorry you have a man tat would set out to hurt you like that. On the positive side, at least he's not acting out those fantasies(yet) Some guys just have no sense of how their bluting out their thought can ruin someone's day. it has taken years ... (read in full...)
A (small) betrayal or much ado about nothing?
Q. I told my husband in confidence that his best friend was getting a divorce. Before telling him I made him promise not to tell anyone until his best friend tells him himself. A few weeks later, he blurted it out. Now, as usual, he’s angry AT ME fo...
A. 15 November 2014: This is a great example for folks to NEVER tell anyone anything that might even be thought to be private. Whenever someone says to me, "hey did you hear about "fill in the blank?" I go nope and I don't even care. People probably think I'm a real ... (read in full...)
How do I handle the insecurity I feel when my boyfriend flirts with our female friend?
Q. I think I'm stuck in between being mature in a relationship and still that little girl who is a bit insecure. I need advice on how to handle a relationship in a mature adult way and be comfortable with it. I've been with my boyfriend for about 10...
A. 13 November 2014: It's HISinsecurity you should be aware of. He's insecure with the relationship and seeks reinforcement that he's still a viable catch.... (read in full...)
Should I go and see him after nearly 2 years apart?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles I had a friendship with a man for just over 5 years. We were both in our late 40s (now early 50s) and divorced, so free and single. We slept together in the early months, but he stopped it because he wanted us to be friends...
A. 13 November 2014: You could just lay out the truth and let the cards fall ehere they may. Why temp fate or lead him on with unreal expectations. good luck... (read in full...)
We're getting married in 5 months. Am I asking too much to want fire and passion in our relationship? What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need your advice. I have been with the same man for over three years. We have lived together and shared money for two and a half of those. I am 24 and he is 28. "Joe" is the "perfect" man. He is chivalrous, hardworking, selfless...
A. 13 November 2014: Oh, well you just described the guy we men all aspire to be like(chvalrous,hardworking,etc.) however we can't meet all expectations and share all passions. We are, after all the lazier, less educated, messier, and less evolved of the two sexes so we ... (read in full...)
Little contact for 2 days... are men really like this?
Q. Is it normal for a man to go like 2 days without any real contact with his girlfriend? We've been together for over 4 years, not currently living together, but doing so after the new year. We had an amazing weekend and I know, in person, that he ...
A. 13 November 2014: Te short answer is yes, a man can go months without touching FB.This is another one of those facebooky stories that drive many of us crazy. Carrier Pigeons are a much more intamate form of communication than FB. I wish I could collect a penny for ... (read in full...)
What are the chances? Is it really possible for a man to be addicted to a woman sexually?
Q. Hello everyone. I have a question. Maybe everybody can give their view point. Is it possible for a man to be sexually addicted to a woman? For example, your boyfriend says he loves you but is having sex with another woman on the side becaus...
A. 13 November 2014: He's a narsist and you are a facilitator if you buy thi limp rationalization. I predict a big problem about to unfold. Duck the is going to be a fan involved with this manuare.... (read in full...)
In a marriage, would you be happier with the person you love or the person that loves you?
Q. This is an age old question but I would like to poll a question. In a marriage, would you be happier with the person you love or the person that loves you? (Note that it's a one-sided love. You may care for the other person but I am referring to ...
A. 13 November 2014: There is NO either or in a real marraige... both love each equally. Now, you can have resentment and jealosy, etc. but an unequal degree of love is a long date.... (read in full...)
Why do I get nauseous when aroused?
Q. hi...! please i am 29 (male). never been in a relationship. my problem is, i get nauseous sometime when aroused. i.e (something like feeling sick) could that be normal?...
A. 12 November 2014: "fear' is a powerfull contribution some physical anomolies. By fear I mean anxieties of the unknown and/or the'fear of not being able to perform at some level. We men tend to thik we are totally responsible for the success or failure of any sexual ... (read in full...)
If your boyfriend's friend went to a hooker, does that mean your boyfriend could do it too?
Q. Hi everyone. Should I worry that a friend of my boyfriend has been using prostitutes? (The guy is single). Does that mean my boyfriend could also do it? I am just wondering if the people your boyfriend considers friends could have an impact on his...
A. 11 November 2014: Wll, of course anythingis possible i guess but wh worry about what is posible? Concentrate on your bf and make it to where he'd have no reason to visit a 'lady of the evening".... (read in full...)
She no longer shows affection -- does that mean she doesn't care?
Q. Hello everyone, I've been dating my girl friend for the past 8 months now and it was all going we l when it all started, she'll text me always and call too but Now I believe that I love her more than she does because , I don't get any affection ...
A. 11 November 2014: Is a very real possibility that you are smothering her with too much love and affection. Try backing off for a while then restarting at a more liesurly pace. No one likes being smothered up and made to feel clostraphibic in a relationship. Deep ... (read in full...)
How do I constructively address my grievances in the relationship?
Q. Recently I have been struggling emotionally because I have a lot of unresolved grievances in my relationship that I need to discuss with my boyfriend, but I don't know how to bring them up to him to get these things off of my chest. I fear that it ...
A. 11 November 2014: Third party involvement is quite common these days; i.e. marrage counceling( I know it's bf/gf but what the heck it still applies) Getting him to attend may present a problem, however, you have the power as the female in the relationship to get what ... (read in full...)
I do trust him but I don't like the pics with other girls when he was abroad
Q. My boyfriend went to Ibiza in August/September which I had no problem with as I trust him. He came home and that's when all the pictures we're getting uploaded online by others he had met over there. The first few we're alright, of him and his ...
A. 10 November 2014: social media does it again! OK, go ahead and trust but verify that's your call. I'm afraid if the situation were reversed,say you'd gone to Ibizia or where ever and come home with bf pics following you. What would he do? Why not ask him that.... (read in full...)
He's seemed awkward since our first date. Why?
Q. I met a guy through a friend as he is her uni housemate. We met at a party and hit it off straight away. Since then I returned home after visiting her and we texted a lot - he was quite flirty and invited me on a date when I next visited my friend. ...
A. 9 November 2014: My guess would be he's embarassed somehow and feels awkward about talking to you about the "did nothing' sleep over. Not to worry, if there's the flicker of a flame there he'll come around.... (read in full...)
My butt is not big enough for my boyfriend.
Q. The thing is, I have some insecurities about the size of my butt. I've been together with my bf for around 3 years and from the beginning he has wished my bottom was bigger. I have gained some weight (around 9 kg)and done exercise and as a result my ...
A. 9 November 2014: You can't be serious. If you are and this bf of yours is as you describe then what on earth are you still even talking to him for? He's not only a looney tune but the ultimate control freak.Good Luck...but run to the hills.... (read in full...)
He accuses me, he yells and shouts and pushes me, and he leaves!
Q. I feel like I am going mad, no matter what I do I am wrong...am I wrong? I really hope you can help me as I feel I am going mad :( My husband and I have been through such a tough life together and it has certainly taken it's toll on me,...
A. 9 November 2014: The quickest way to restore your sanity is to file for divorce. You will go through a month or two of complete BS, but then you'll be free to have your own life.... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as a guy who lasts too long?
Q. Everyone hates that guy that only lasts about 5 minutes in bed, well I seem to have found the complete opposite! The guy I recently started seeing is absolutely perfect, and when we slept together it went on quite a while which I really enjoyed at ...
A. 9 November 2014: Chigirl has this one snagged.... (read in full...)
How can this situation be addressed? He still lives with his family and we get no privacy when we visit his home.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and half and love him to bits but there is just one thing getting me down. He is still living at home with his parents and siblings and when I go to his house we have no alone time and have to do ev...
A. 9 November 2014: Perhaps they don't want to allow privacy for obvious reasons. I mean if you're not married why provide the environment for things of a sexual nature to be allowed. Why don't you consider getting married and get a place of your own?... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about my boyfriend hanging out with girls of low morals?
Q. My boyfriend used to talk about his female friends and other girls a lot and I asked him to tone it down please. Now he doesn't mention them much and often doesn't tell me when he's hanging out with his female friends. His two closest female friends ...
A. 8 November 2014: How can you not be concerned is more the question. However, "low morals" is a subjective definition, What is trashy to some folks is normal to others, my point is; be more certain of your definition as in meet them for yourself rather than let ... (read in full...)
Should I send my husband money? I think his family takes advantage of us!
Q. 3 years ago My husband sent alot of money to his family in a muslim country. His family said they were investing this money into a company where it would make profit. Some of this money was also mine. Now a month ago he has gone to see his famil...
A. 8 November 2014: Tey are obviously scaming both of you. If you don't send it would you be in fear of your life? If hubby is muslum too you might be in big trouble but if he's not then hey, yours is yours. You said they were investing the previous "gift" therefore ... (read in full...)
Wishing and waiting but he never comes home.
Q. I am going absolutely crazy. My husband and I have 2 kids (1yr old and 3yr old), They have alot of emotional issues and are really hard to keep under control so I need his help more then the average mother and woman. My husband is ALWAYS gone out ...
A. 8 November 2014: The guy you call a husband is better described as Freddy the freeloader. A: You must make several hundred dollars per hour in order to pay the basic bills (where can I get a job like that?) B:With that income, seems to me you coould leave the ... (read in full...)
Is it common for men to promise marriage and not go through with it?
Q. Do you think it is common for men to promise marriage and then not follow through? I was with my ex for 8 years. After about three years he would say: we'll get married when we get home from travelling and settle in. Then it was: we'll get married ...
A. 7 November 2014: While individual circumstances certainly allow for deviation. the general question of "Is it common for men...?" the short answer is: NO, not at all common. The majority of men that propose follow through with the inevitable matrimony. Like a woman, ... (read in full...)
Why do I get nauseous when aroused?
Q. hi...! please i am 29 (male). never been in a relationship. my problem is, i get nauseous sometime when aroused. i.e (something like feeling sick) could that be normal?...
A. 7 November 2014: Not at all normal. There's no physical reason. You have a subconcious thing going on that needs to be addressed. Fear is most likely the enemy here.... (read in full...)
I gave up my unborn baby for him and he doesn't even appreciate it.
Q. Currently I've felt out of place ..before I ask I must explain my situation. I've been with my boyfriend for awhile now and we are oddly very happy.I do my best to be the best girlfriend and he makes small gesture that make me happy. We've talked ...
A. 7 November 2014: Your reaction is TOTALLY sane and logical. He's the one that's wacko. People that have no feelings are actually certifiable crazy. How you could have feelings for him is way beyond me.... (read in full...)
How can I show my partner he is the most special person I have ever been intimate with?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend and I am in love with him, I love the connection we share and the silly times we have. I have never felt the way I do about him about anyone else. The issue: in my past I have had intimate times with others. He ha...
A. 7 November 2014: Other an the obvious physical pleasures you could write im a poem, give him a back rub, ask him to teach you about some spore likes but you don't care too much about. Just hug h and be loving is all anyguy really needs.... (read in full...)
Why won't he pull out during sex?
Q. So I have a boyfriend who's a pretty good guy. The only thing is, he doesn't want to pull out during sex. Or wear a condom. Says he hates them. We're both pretty stable so that's not a problem. My only question is, why does he do this? We both have ...
A. 6 November 2014: he is guilty of stupidity. It can very muchte better topull out. Thefeelings are much better. He is stubborn and playing a risky game. Like Russian Roulette. OR, he wants to you pregnant for some wierd reason.... (read in full...)
Why and when do men not orgasm?
Q. I've been seeing someone over the course of five months. Well I never labaled it with seeing him, that's just how he puts it in his own words. Anyhow, things have been 'rocky' from the get go, from what's. been said, to my behavior towards...
A. 6 November 2014: Lots of reasons; prostate problems(aged)full bladder,too dunk, guilt, just not all at satisfied, muscle cramps, disracted, too soon after previous orgasm, etc. etc.No worries...probably not your fault. If at frst you don't succeed ..try,try again.... (read in full...)
I thought uni would change my life, but I find I am still holding myself back!
Q. I thought Uni was going to be a change for me, a new beginning. It has to a certain point, but these same thought processes keep happening. I'm sick and tired of the same, old issues coming to the surface. It has time to hold myself accountable for ...
A. 6 November 2014: Pressure can cause depression which it souds like what you re experiencing. Time or a realty check-up. Tell a doctor what you areing maybe you can get some meds to level your thughts out for a while. School pressures can be overwhelming. Best of ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when he says I am his "guilty pleasure"?
Q. What does it mean if a man tells you your his guilty pleasure? What would it mean to you if you were to say this to someone or someone was to say this to you? How would you translate this in your inner world? Personally, humorous, passing c...
A. 6 November 2014: It's sort of like an artist describing his lover as his muse. Not a nice thing to be refering to you as I'd say. kind of rude actually.watch your back and good luck.... (read in full...)
Should I settle down or take the "you only live once" attitude?
Q. I know this will sound selfish so I'm asking if you're going to reply having a go then please don't! I'm in a 4 month long relationship with a man who is everything I could possibly want but we want different things. He is ready to get a place t...
A. 6 November 2014: s he contrarion of my peers, I say; you DO only live once and he will survive you deciding to move on down the road. don't worry about him. If he's half the "catch" you make him out to be then he'll di fine finding that rare one that wants a solid ... (read in full...)
How do I know if she is ready for sex?
Q. hello dear reader my name is zion. am 27yrs of age.have been with her "lilly" close to 2yrs i love her very much even angels in heaven know i realy do,up till date she never visited me at home for once not even visit to any man's house except in ...
A. 5 November 2014: I've thought and thought about this question and the ONLY answer I can come up with is, "you'll just know" there is no signal or light bulb to illuminate. It's all about feelings and trust and subtle signals that are not describable. Good Luck... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much from my husband?
Q. I feel that I give more than I get. I feel that my husband hasn't got a clue what love really is... We've been together for almost 15 years. We met when I was 25 and he 27. In a way we grew up together. All the major life decisions (and efforts)...
A. 5 November 2014: I've alwayd been told that giving more than you recieve is the definition of love. Those that take more than they give without remorse are obviously the opposite.... (read in full...)
What does the word 'cute' mean to guys? To me, it means 'ugly but acceptable'!
Q. Dear Auntz Me and my new boyfriend started dating a week ago and he keeps saying that im cute! I have always told myself that i will never date any guy that thinks i am cute, but here i am. I wish he would use the word beautiful instea...
A. 4 November 2014: Babies are cute...puppies are cute. attractice cuddly young girls are cute. Never heard ugly in the same sentance as cute. But I get your point. Your bf is simply immature and has no other word for your looks as being very attractive to him.... (read in full...)
Are these red flags? I'm nervous because of my past abusive relationship
Q. Hello! I was previously in an abusive relationship, that ended around 4 years ago. I am now in a new relationship, and we've been together for 3 months. Because of my past abusive relationship I am now very cautious of "red flags", and I find some ...
A. 3 November 2014: Sadly you've been there-done-that so you have that hai on the back of the neck feeling so why not follow that historic lessons learned feeling you have and make a new friend?... (read in full...)
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