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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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What is the average time for liking somebody?
Q. This maybe bizarre and I am not sure why I am asking this as its a vague question. But what do you think the average time is for liking somebody ? Last year a girl started working with us who had a chap , and well I just worked with her as a...
A. 8 January 2015: 'm not sure there's a set time or you ever "get over" someone you iked a whole lot. One axiom I have found that seems to be true is your taste changes every seven years. Probably not applicable here but interesting just the same.... (read in full...)
I think I got rid of the man who was showing up everywhere I went
Q. Hi, this is more of an update than question. I posted about always bumping into a man that works in my area, even when I was staying at mom's over Christmas. Thank you to the people who gave me advise. I am back home now and had the week off wor...
A. 8 January 2015: Whew! I bet that is big relief to finally have a stalker vanish. But, stay vigilant he could be just "laying low"... (read in full...)
How do I tell my dad I am pregnant?
Q. This isn't a relationship question but I was hoping someone might be able to give me some advice. I'm 17 yrs. old and a senior in High school. Over the weekend I found out I was pregnant. I live with my father, my parents divorce was I was 9 and ...
A. 6 January 2015: You're his daughter. he will ALWAYS love you so just tell him,get it over with and move on.... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend of two years is torn. He cannot give me up but he cannot leave his marriage. How do I handle this?
Q. I have deep feelings for a man who has been married for 20 years. I have been with him for almost 2 years. It happened because I suppose we met at the right place and the right time and we had this undeniable connection... right from the very st...
A. 6 January 2015: The ups and downs you experience are clearly the back and forth of guilt and denial. He's amarried man and is not going to leave her for you or that would have happened by now.... (read in full...)
She's blamed me for her sexting, flirting and flashing on webchat. Is this classed as cheating? Can I trust her?
Q. i have been with my fiancee for almost 4 years now and we are actively planning our wedding. she has confessed to me that she has been flirting with her ex on text, flirting with other guys on web chat and has also been flashing on webchat....
A. 5 January 2015: Chigirlis right on... (read in full...)
I want to separate but b/f keeps calling me!
Q. Hi, my problem is my boyfriend. I want to go our separate ways but he keeps calling me and i don`t want to be rude so i answer. The reason i want to spilt is because he gets angry over little things, is controlling and borrows money and never gives ...
A. 1 January 2015: Honeypie has got it right!This stalker is borderline OCD and will never "get it" unless you draw him a big ol' graph and tell him IT IS OVER! Then change your phone number. it takes twelve minutes at your cell phone dealership. It might cost you a ... (read in full...)
I want my ex take an HIV and STD before rekindling our relationship. What if he refuses to do so?
Q. Dear Cupid,I haven't been with my ex for over ten years we are talking long distance now and have hopes of rekindling our relationship, but I am in fear of having sex with him . I want him to take an HIV and STD test before I give myself to him agai...
A. 1 January 2015: Iself-evident that you don't know who or what he has beenwith AND he doesn'tknow who or what you've been doing . Why not suggest you both go get tested? That way there's no suggestion of trust issues. You can then both be "safe to" proceed.... (read in full...)
Should I give up on Prince Charming? Says he won't marry me unless I agree to become a swinger with him
Q. I am a very attractive, tall, successful, and fun-loving 25-year-old young woman. I am deeply and truly in love with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Our sex is amazing, and the adventures we have together are truly unreal. ...
A. 1 January 2015: Firstly and most importantly ...NO all men don't cheat! and secondly; you seem to have become entangled with a true case of Narsacistic behagvior. I'd recomend you find an alternative selection for a life-mate. It sounds like this dude is a bit off ... (read in full...)
How much texting is too much texting?
Q. How much texting (of the opposite sex) is considered flirting or cheating when you are in an exclusive relationship? I got angry after discovering my bf has been texting other girls almost everyday. I asked to see his messages but he deleted them ...
A. 1 January 2015: Any texting in secret to other girls is too much unless you are allowed to see them to ensure they are simple "Hey what's up and stuff like that.... (read in full...)
I've been asked to use my wedding as a fundraiser
Q. I currently am living in an apartment that a program helps with a portion of our rent. My fiance and I are wanting to get married and have recently been told the program that helps us with rent wants us to have our ceremony at the house they use ...
A. 29 December 2014: Tell them that if they like they can also bring in a film crew to the wedding bedroom and film a real great porn flic but you want 755 of the profits. My guess would be they'll get the hint and back down but then again you might have a film crew ... (read in full...)
I'm an unmarried man in cyber love with a married woman!
Q. I am 27 years of age, single, never being in relationship, athletic build and sexually active( I masturbate 2-4 times daily) . I talk to a lady from a different country who is mother and hates her family. I am really love with this woman and she ...
A. 28 December 2014: There is about as much future in "cyber-love" as trhere is in a unicorn landing in the middle of the super bowl during halftime. My advice is to go to a shrink and find out why you are seeking a relationship with vaporous ramblings in cyberspace. ... (read in full...)
Moving on from FWB -- do you think he'll understand?
Q. I sent a goodbye email to a guy in my life that is not healthy for me. We have known each other for 4 years but never had relationship. We only had physical only FWB. I caught feelings he didn't so we decided not to be physical or talk anymore. ...
A. 28 December 2014: Frankly, No I don't think he'll "understand" since his ONLY part in the relationship was physical. What's to understand? He's not going to get what he wants anymore? He might understand that but other than that, so what? you did what was right for ... (read in full...)
I'm devasted after my soul mate dumped me 2 months ago
Q. I am so screwed up. My lovely bloke broke up with me 2 months ago. We were together 3 years and he was my soulmate.unfortunately we had 2 years of abuse from my ex. He stood by me but over last,12 months I saw his personality change and I think he ...
A. 27 December 2014: I feel your pain and am sorry for this life trauma you are going through,, you will emerge stronger though so hang tough.... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time waiting for my boyfriend to grow up?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 years and I have been having a hard time recently. Basically, I have caught him out in a couple of lies (things I wouldn't care about him doing, but I do care that he lied/hid them from me) and I'm struggling to trust the things he ...
A. 27 December 2014: Pepee has this one right! The dude is as the song goes "forever young" If he's worth the effort though, it's not beyond reason that he can evolve into a thinking person if given the proper guidelines. He missed the "everything I ever needed to know ... (read in full...)
Why does living with your parents look much worse in guys than it does in girls? for guys it usually kills their chances of having a dating life/sex life, for girls not so much
Q. If a guy lives with his parents, usually it seems if the guy is past a certain age and lives with his parents, he won't get a second look from most women, but if a woman lives with her parents regardless of her age, it's usually not a deal-breaker ...
A. 27 December 2014: Boys are taught at an early age that the man is expected to leave home,establish an income source and take a bride whereupon they produce an offspring and he is the "provider' not the couch potatoe that lives with mommy and daddy leting them do all ... (read in full...)
I need some reassurance before I make a doctor's appointment
Q. Hi. I am a 24 year old female and I'm currently in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend. We started going out in March this year and everything was perfect( I thought). And we broke up 4 months later cause he didn't trust me. We got together in mid- ...
A. 25 December 2014: Can't blame you for the fearful part but there are a zillion things folks can do nowadays that delay/defer the onset of AIDS(or so I hear) so seeking professiional treatment and guildance is a priority now so just go in with high hopes and lowered ... (read in full...)
Would you be jealous of this cheat's wife if you were me?
Q. I'm writing to this site because i'm feeling pretty conflicted. I used to have a physical relationship with someone who was very wrong for me and it destroyed any self esteem i used to have. Most of the time i was miserable when it was going on. ...
A. 24 December 2014: Nope not a bit PLUS there's no upside to chit-charing any more so knock it off.... (read in full...)
This will be my last attempt to save our marriage!
Q. After dealing with this for months/years now, here are the facts: I married a guy I know now I dont love anymore but still care and trust very deeply. I still can't forget about this other guy that I met and has made me happy, positive and felt love ...
A. 23 December 2014: Your "plan" sounds convoluted and is designed to fail. If you dislike him leave that's really all that the plan should say.... (read in full...)
I feel like such a loser lately!
Q. Man I feel like such a loser lately. I'm 22 years old, filled regret from my college experience because it was basically 4 years of stress/emotional suffering/extreme loneliness. I graduated with an ok gpa luckily, but so far I have no job (I've ...
A. 23 December 2014: Y're not a loser you happen to be one of millions of victums of an out of control "progressive" agenda that believes big government will fix everything. You can blame the economic models from the leftists of the planet that holds down personal ... (read in full...)
I feel like such a loser lately!
Q. Man I feel like such a loser lately. I'm 22 years old, filled regret from my college experience because it was basically 4 years of stress/emotional suffering/extreme loneliness. I graduated with an ok gpa luckily, but so far I have no job (I've ...
A. 23 December 2014: Y're not a loser you happen to be one of millions of victums of an out of control "progressive" agenda that believes big government will fix everything. You can blame the economic models from the leftists of the planet that holds down personal ... (read in full...)
How long to wait before having sex with a guy? Not sure what to do
Q. How long should you wait before having sex with a guy? Ok, I met this lovely guy in September, we've been on 5 dates, third date he kissed me and stayed at mine, fourth date same and fifth date same too. He lives out of London, so we usually go ou...
A. 23 December 2014: Bing unsure about such a serious decision is a GOOD thing don't be unsure of your self. Let him lead the way here you are being proper and if he has feelings for you he will respect your tentiveness and wait until the time is right for the both of ... (read in full...)
I'm a man who is being emotionally abused by his female partner. What should I do?
Q. I have reason to believe I am a male in an abusive relationship. I have been with my Fiance for 7 years, we have 2 kids, and she makes me feel completely worthless on a daily basis. In the start she used to make me feel limitless, a companion i ...
A. 21 December 2014: File a police report, next get an attorney,next make sure your lawyer can get you custody finally get the divorce. ... (read in full...)
How much space do I give him?
Q. Hi, I had quite a flirty relationship online with a guy that I met once who wanted to have a one night stand with me. I wasn't wanting the one the night stand, but I did like him and would have taken things further. However, he seems to be into ...
A. 21 December 2014: Auntie Bimbim has this joker pegged. You need to give him a whole lot of space like a universe worth of it. Ever read The Big Bad Wolf fairy tale? Heis the origional chat-chat dude and you don't want to fall for it!... (read in full...)
Help, my friend keeps cancelling on me?!
Q. Hi after some advice- my so called friend keeps cancelling on me. 3 night we have arranged to go out/do something together and she either never replies to me saying what time are we meeting or you know general questions and then texts me for exam...
A. 20 December 2014: Yes you are doing something wrong you are expecting a different result every time you try to be nice. Your "friend" is inconsiderate and selfish. Might be time to seek out a new and improved friend.... (read in full...)
How does a thin boobless/assless woman live a life in our society?
Q. So I'm a petite asian in my early 20's and I have no boobs (32 a cup :( ) nor an ass. I have been suffering from depression lately because of all the insecurities that eat up at me. I am so depressed that I can't sleep at night and I have become ...
A. 20 December 2014: I am of the opinion that big boobs and ass are HIGHLY over-rated...You my friend have something that millions of women would die for that are far more aluring than a mass of body parts. Asian women have the best skn tone on the planet and the ... (read in full...)
I've never talked to him. A bit shy too. Is there any way to determine if he likes me?
Q. Im a 19 year old female. So there is a guy that I really, really like. We have so much in common and he already knows that we do. At first, he thought that my friend liked him, though she doesn't , so he blocked her online and he once gave he...
A. 20 December 2014: Well, you will have to get over being shy someday so it might as well be now...Just walk right up to him and say,"Hi, You wanna go get a coffe or something?"... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has slept with 15 of his friends- feeling insecure now,
Q. Hi there, Just looking for a bit of relationship advise Been with my boyfriend for a year now. I'm 21, he's the first guy I've slept with as I wanted to wait until I was comfortable enough with a guy. He however, has slept with 15 girls,...
A. 20 December 2014: How much of that claim can possibly be truth? 15? I have a hard time believing that. But I do agree with you 5 or fifty There is no such thing as "friends with benifits" no good can come from it! Why not just find a more resonable and truthful ... (read in full...)
He kicked me out because I cheated. Will he take me back?
Q. I have been with my my boyfriend for a little over two years. This week I had went behind his back and hung out with my ex, my ex would call me beautiful and do little gestures like put his hand on my leg while driving grab my butt randomly and open ...
A. 19 December 2014: shame on you! OK, now I've got that out. Let mr ask you to reverse the situation (in your mind of course) Would you take him back? and if so why? Answer those questions and you will have your answer to this question you have presented.... (read in full...)
We've not dated or had sex but he said he would leave his wife for me!
Q. Hi guys, I'm in such a pickle and I wish I didn't have this to worry over right before Christmas. Me and my partner have been together for six years, happy years and I love him dearly. My partners boss is 14 years older than myself and ...
A. 19 December 2014: This is a sadly danger sign in my book. I eworry that you are being lured into a phsyco-____ trap and I want you to stop and evaluate this strange relationship with someone you trust like a parent or pastor. I'm sad that you are being taken on ... (read in full...)
Is he still looking out for me on Facebook?
Q. I was close to a guy on Facebook and having quite flirty chats with him - until he suddenly decided to move onto another girl who was obviously more appealing to him. I feel sad that we don't talk now like before, but I have noticed I am still on...
A. 19 December 2014: Aha! There are others out there that don't know how FB works and who can see what. My advice is stay off oft and don't fret over the secret rules of FB design. Youever know who cn invadyour space so you are neve "safe" ergo avoid it. There's tis ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loses interest in a girl if she puts out too soon.
Q. So my boyfriend has this "thing" where he loses interest in girls if she puts out too soon. I know this because we were friends for a long time before dating. And he would meet a girl, he seemed interested cause he would even tell us, "I met this ...
A. 19 December 2014: Perhaps he is nobel and a gentleman and has a distaste for females with loose morals. Who knows? I don't quite ubderstand your dilema. Lots of girls would see this as a virtue. but you seem to find this as problematic. I'm confused.... (read in full...)
Living with his lazy dirty family has me at the end of my tether
Q. Hello. I don't know how much longer I can put up with this. His family is starting to become a deal breaker for me. Right now, I live with my boyfriend and his family. We pay rent, we buy our own groceries, and we pay for whatever else we use. We ...
A. 18 December 2014: Read Honeypie again that is one smart cookie!... (read in full...)
Now that I have him, how do I keep him?
Q. I finally got my crush wrapped around my finger we make out, laugh,have fun and just have great sexual and emotional chemistry but my only concern is how can i keep him interested i finally got him now the problem is how do i keep him entertained so ...
A. 18 December 2014: OK, First item of advice; If your attitude about your guy is that you "have him wrapped around your finger" that implies you want to have control over him and the LAST thing you want to do is imply or even think you should "control" him that is the ... (read in full...)
His actions speak louder than words, what do you think?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend around ten months. We only see each other twice a week due to work commitments on both parts so the time I get to spend with him is precious. He has told me I'm the first woman he's ever truly loved...
A. 17 December 2014: Busy-busy..He reminds me of my brother-in-law, Drives my sis (his wife) crazy but he treats her like a queen so the rest of us just go, "Oh well, that's just him his own agenda" We shake our heads and move on. some folks are just serial multi ... (read in full...)
Love, or my dreams?
Q. So i am in serious help and i need some opinions on what to do. Ive been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years now! It started off perfect and i was happier than ever! I live in Texas and he is living in Oklahoma. We are actually 15 years ...
A. 17 December 2014: This sounds to me like a bum deal. The age difference is too great. He's not going to throw away his whole family and start over again to fulfill your dreams. You need a "plan B" here.... (read in full...)
Does my husband even love me?
Q. How can you tell if your husband still loves you? We've been together for 11 years, met young, have two kids. I feel like whenever we have arguments my husband gets very defensive...it's like I can't bring anything up anymore without worrying how it ...
A. 17 December 2014: Generally speaking men love their wives more than they can express but don't know how to show it very well leaving the wife wondering. You'r not alone. We men are just clumsy with expression of feelings. We(not all) love but can't explain it even ... (read in full...)
I like her except for the lack of punctuality
Q. I've been dating a girl for about 2 weeks now. It's going great but very early days. The one problem I have is she's always late! I know to most people this won't be an issue but it really annoys me. Turning up an hour late and then with no apology. ...
A. 17 December 2014: being late all the time is a show of disrespect and/or ineptitude. Why waste time on someone that can't or won't tell time? Find someone else that can read both analog and digital clocks and forget Miss, "I'm too sexy for my watch".Life's short and ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he look for me, is he not interested in me?
Q. Why didn't he look for me, is he not interested in me? So my brother invited me a function at his church and I got talking to this lady and she said I was very beautiful and that there is a guy she'd like to set me up with. I caught her...
A. 17 December 2014: Tme he sounds uninterested OR, playing hard to get in either case, it would be wise (in my view) to ditch the dream and try for another. If he's "playing had to get" then his ego is the elephant ithe room. If he's notinterested then so what BFD why ... (read in full...)
He seems into me when he's had a drink, but he was sober when he asked me to the cinema... what's going on?
Q. Ok I'm really confused... I met this really nice guy online, it started off really slow then we went on a date and we kissed and stayed up late talking, he then stayed at mine, nothing happened just kissing - it was great! We went on another date ...
A. 16 December 2014: jenniepeg is right. he's just on the "reduced speed" side of things give it time, you'll get what you want later.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he thinks it's disrespectful to finger a girl. How can I encourage him to consider it as part of lovemaking?
Q. My boyfriend says he thinks it's disrespectful to finger a girl and that he's never done it. I think the disrespect thing is a cop out. I don't get it. He says he never has and never will. It's a big deal for me because it's a way to be intimate...
A. 15 December 2014: Move on to a newer friend. This one is obviously not a "catch" and not too bright either.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't bothered by keeping me waiting.
Q. I will keep this short. My boyfriend does not see anything wrong with keeping me waiting. I will say "I can be to your house at 7, does that sound good"?He will say yes and a lot of the time when I get there he is just getting in the shower. He ...
A. 15 December 2014: Never try to teach a pig to sing, it's a waste of your time and it anoys the pig. You my young friend have discovered a thoughtless inconsiderate clod and have mistaken him for a boyfriend. He is a nitwit and is worthy of see you leaving in a cloud ... (read in full...)
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