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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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I still seem to think that my low social status equates to my worthiness of a person.
Q. Recently I went to my younger cousins 18th birthday party. It was really great night. What I noticed though was myself feeling slightly bad about myself and jealous due to how popular my cousin is. My cousin got the looks on the family. She's ...
A. 28 September 2014: High school is a 'proving ground' for self esteem and social networking. But if you survive it you can survive in life. You got through it without killing anyone so you're a survivor. Now you need to blosom and learn to act like the world is your ... (read in full...)
My (platonic) date to a wedding had to cancel. Should I invite the girl I've just started dating?
Q. I have a wedding to go to this upcoming weekend with a plus one, and as I've never had to go to a wedding before, so I'm not sure about proper etiquette about these things. I haven't been seeing anyone steadily and I've been in medical grad sch...
A. 28 September 2014: Coud be akward, why not ask her and find out?... (read in full...)
I feel like I can't compete with my boyfriend's threesome! Should I tell him?
Q. Hi everyone, I have gotten myself into a really, really stupid situation here. My boyfriend and I have been in a very passionate and loving relationship for about two months and I'll just skip the part where I tell you all how perfect everythi...
A. 28 September 2014: I'd bet money hs 'threesome' never really happened, He probable had a fantasy about one and thought if he 'dropped it on you' you might get all kinky with him and tell all your fantasies.... (read in full...)
How can I possibly introduce my husband to a man who tried it on with me?
Q. So I am in a predicament and I don't know what to do. About six months ago, I had a row with my husband and went out to my friends party and got really drunk. My friend's husbands rather ugly best friend was at the party, he was really drunk too and ...
A. 28 September 2014: No harm no foul..let sleeping dogs lie.... (read in full...)
Why people assume that this much older man is my husband?
Q. Why people assume that this much older guy is my husband?? I belong to one club. One member who is 24 years older than me which makes him only 3 years younger than my father drives me there sometimes as we live very close to each other. His daughter...
A. 28 September 2014: People make assumptions based on their experiences in life. Most people see a young women hanging out with young men. When that "picture "is tilted to the side they assume the age difference must be familial and jump to a rational conclusion.... (read in full...)
Please help me! Is my fiancé abusing me?
Q. So my fiancé thinks that its okay to look at girls who are way skinnier than me and then gets mad when a guy looks at me in a good way. He consistantly will do this right in front of me then tells me that im an attention whore and wants me to wear...
A. 28 September 2014: Idon't think this stupidity rises to the level of abuse, we need to be careful what actions we put into that awful catagory lest we dilute it and get thigs al fuzzy. It sounds to me he's what we used to call a 'cad'(insensitive clod). If this truly ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my cousin and want to get rid of these feelings
Q. Dear Cupid, i think i maybe be in love or infatuated with my cousin. Him and i met at a funeral a couple of months ago, the attraction from my side was instant, we didn't know we were related.We exchanged numbers and have been in constant contact ...
A. 27 September 2014: I don't think you have to worry about offspring having birth defects at the cousin level but check to be certain then do whatever feels natural. ... (read in full...)
I'm off to a good start in life but my mother will never value me
Q. Hi everyone, I came on here because I just wanted some advice. I am 22 years old, I also have an older sister who is 24 years old. Growing up I always knew my mum loved her more than me, growing up my mum use to pick on me, she use to poke fun at ...
A. 27 September 2014: Not selfish at all, self aware and proud(which is good) in spite of your environment you've grown while they devolved. You have every right to golive your life any wayyou see fit. Don't worry about what anyone thinks or says about you. you have ... (read in full...)
He thought I was clingy; can he ever change his opinion?
Q. I am talking to a guy and things were going well. We see each other a lot but I would text him a lot too. He told me that he thought I might be kinda clingy. It wasn't my intention but I may have over done it with the texting. We seemed to have ...
A. 27 September 2014: He will not hold a negative opinion for very long. Most guys are interested in here and now not what was past. just take a deep breath and start over with a renewed interest and a memory of the past. Lots of Luck... (read in full...)
Do I ask him about the condoms in his trash?
Q. I feel like a complete idiot for even asking this, but would you ask your boyfriend why he had a couple of used condoms in his rubbish bin when you have been away for a few days and you don't even use condoms?! I went away for a five day mini br...
A. 27 September 2014: Duh, the mice will play..got him! He'l tell you a yarn about usingthem to pleasure himself and avoid the mess,but you'll know better,right?... (read in full...)
I want to date its been 13 years but I don't want to be hurt!
Q. Dear cupid, I am a single mature woman my children are grown I want a relationship but I been through so much with men that did not deserve me til I don't know whether I'm going or coming .My son thinks I should leave life alone because he have ...
A. 27 September 2014: You are only as old as you feel(gee, I wish that was true!) Find a place where there are lots of like-minded folks and go hang out with them, I don't know where, church,dance lesson, yoga, night school.. use your imagination. You sound young at ... (read in full...)
Its only been 3 days but I'm worried I'm not going to last on my job because of inadequate training
Q. I started a new job on Wednesday, this is my 3rd day and despite me knowing and telling myself it's only my 3rd day and things may get better, I can't shake this horrible feeling of not fitting in away. I trained at a previous organisation tha...
A. 27 September 2014: Take a step back and think positive...you're putting a lot of undue stress on yourself. I don't have any idea what kind of work you are talking about but I'll bet you can "wing it" for at least a week or so by just watching others and learning from ... (read in full...)
The girl I'm dating lost weight and now I don't find her as attractive!
Q. Dear Agony Aunt, I am writing to ask your advice on a difficult situation. I have recently begun a new relationship and we have been going out for about 2 months. When I first started seeing this girl, she was quite chubby and curvaceous, ...
A. 27 September 2014: OK, I get it, you prefer chubby over thin but love isn't about lbs. You either lover her or you are just shallow and see flesh. Figure that out first. Good Luck... (read in full...)
Am I obligated to spell out that it's over? We haven't spoken in a month
Q. We just stopped talking to each other after an almost five year relationship. Literally. I suspected him of cheating after I found out he was going on a trip with a female co-worker and even if it was purely innocent, he never told me and this was a ...
A. 27 September 2014: What? you are pretty sure? What does that mean?If you are sure you are not obligated to do anything except file and sign the papers. If you're not sure you have an obligation to yourself to figure it out. Otherwise, he knows just sign the papers ... (read in full...)
I think our sex life is great! How can I show him that?
Q. Hi guys ive been with my partner for 6 years and we have a great sex life. We have sex about 9 times a week depending on how often we meet. He has a problem with premature ejaculation. However this doesnt mean he cannot satisfy me and he does almost ...
A. 27 September 2014: Just talk to him and tell him durin sex how good it feels and how is making you cum over and over(multiple orgasms are the dream that we men wish for our partners)If I make her cum twice in one night I can rest assured i am her man.... (read in full...)
My straight friends sleeps in the same bed with me and masturbates. Why does he do this?
Q. Hi, I'm confused. I'm gay, my best friend is aware of this. It's not really an issue. He's straight. When we were younger, before I came out, we used to watch straight porn together. Which I don't think is uncommon for teenage boys. And, ...
A. 25 September 2014: Sounds like an idiodic thing to do to me too. He's a real winner that one. I'd get a new roommate if I were you.... (read in full...)
Why is my husband so insecure about his size?
Q. My husband and I have great sex but he still thinks he is too small. It is a tight fit and I have to be really turned on in order for it to be comfortable. Even more so now that I am pregnant, my third baby his first. He cums really fast most of the ...
A. 25 September 2014: Allof us men feel 'cheated' when it come to size there are lucky guys out there that can give their woman mind blowing orgasms and then there's the rest of us wishing we were part of that well-endowed club. It's not just him or just you. This a a ... (read in full...)
Do u think he's blowing me off?
Q. Hi there I would like some advice relating to this guy that I like. We have known each other a few months, through a mutual friend. We met up on 2 occasions at the club and he was complimenting all night and we ended up kissing which was really...
A. 25 September 2014: I'd forget the bum.... (read in full...)
After 7 years together if he's not ready for the next step will he ever be?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years officially. We met at 15 years old and have been happy ever since. As we met in school we have the same group of friends and regulaly go out as a big group. Me and my partner rarely if never argue we are ...
A. 25 September 2014: Nah, It's water over the dam or under the bridge or wherever water goes these days. he is never going to give in to making it "legal" he is a lost cause. In my opinion, if after living together more than six months there's no marraiage, there never ... (read in full...)
Why is my husband so insecure about his size?
Q. My husband and I have great sex but he still thinks he is too small. It is a tight fit and I have to be really turned on in order for it to be comfortable. Even more so now that I am pregnant, my third baby his first. He cums really fast most of the ...
A. 25 September 2014: I hate to tell you this but ALL men wish they were bigger. Even though our wife is completely satisfied, we feel that it would be even better for her if we were just a tad larger. If it's grat now, think how much better it would be for the one I ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to express interest in other people as a married couple?
Q. Is it normal to express interest in other people as a married couple? My husband, who has always been faithful to me recently confessed that he 'liked' another woman he and I both knew several years ago. He had always denied it, but recently he ...
A. 25 September 2014: You are having an internal struggle that will get the best of you if you don't take action. Grab hubby and go on a week-long holiday away from all the temptations. When you come back the world will be back in it's normal alignment. Here's to you and ... (read in full...)
"Just friends" became more, which is a problem since I have a gf
Q. I have so many questions: am I having an affair? Am I doing the right thing? Does she think I'm using her? I should probably start with a bit of background. I've known this girl for years, always fancied her, had a mess about when we were younger ...
A. 25 September 2014: IIt's like someone who is trying to stop smoking and says well except for that cig that was in the drawer that I smoked this morning,I've stopped smoking. You're a big cheat. live with it or change. Good Luck... (read in full...)
Do u think he's blowing me off?
Q. Hi there I would like some advice relating to this guy that I like. We have known each other a few months, through a mutual friend. We met up on 2 occasions at the club and he was complimenting all night and we ended up kissing which was really...
A. 25 September 2014: He is probably just playing you to see if you'll call again.Good Luck, be careful,sounds like he's done this routine before.... (read in full...)
I feel like I can't compete with my boyfriend's threesome! Should I tell him?
Q. Hi everyone, I have gotten myself into a really, really stupid situation here. My boyfriend and I have been in a very passionate and loving relationship for about two months and I'll just skip the part where I tell you all how perfect everythi...
A. 25 September 2014: My 'take' on this is he told you a little white lie to see your response. The odds of any guy having a threesome with 2 girls is about a zillon to 1(except in porn shows). Relax you're fine.... (read in full...)
I feel like I can't compete with my boyfriend's threesome! Should I tell him?
Q. Hi everyone, I have gotten myself into a really, really stupid situation here. My boyfriend and I have been in a very passionate and loving relationship for about two months and I'll just skip the part where I tell you all how perfect everythi...
A. 25 September 2014: You should not have to work it out alone. Tell him how you feel. If he has tue feelings for you he'll take care of it.Good Luck. My bet is he told you about a fantasy and it never REALLY happened.... (read in full...)
Should I Tell My Friend About her Friend Quizzing Me?
Q. I recently went to an event to support a friend. While I was there I spoke with two of her friends there who were a couple. The wife started asking me multiple questions about my friend including her work schedule. I simply said I didn't know her ...
A. 25 September 2014: I would tell your friend and let her process it in any way she wants. Under pressure or not it might be important info to know about Who knows there could be motives that only she would understand.... (read in full...)
Should I Tell My Friend About her Friend Quizzing Me?
Q. I recently went to an event to support a friend. While I was there I spoke with two of her friends there who were a couple. The wife started asking me multiple questions about my friend including her work schedule. I simply said I didn't know her ...
A. 25 September 2014: I would tell your friend and let her process it in any way she wants. Under pressure or not it might be important info to know about.... (read in full...)
My fiance has lied to me and I've lost trust in her. Can this be fixed?
Q. My Fiancée and I have been together for over a decade and have had two kids together. Like most relationships, we've had our ups and downs. A lot brought on by me working away from home and perhaps not doing as much around the house when I get ...
A. 25 September 2014: If it was you on the computer chating. Would she say you were cheating? If the answer is yes or probably then there you are. What's good for the goose,etc.... (read in full...)
16 years of marriage and I've lost the spark for my wife. How can I get it back?
Q. We have been married for 16 years, four kids, financially stable...I have never cheated. I don't think she has ever cheated. This has been building for some time now: when I look at her, there is just no sexual spark. It's gotten to the point where ...
A. 25 September 2014: Shedule a vacation just for the two of you, go to some island paradise somewhere. Forget the cost. You can't put a metary value on regaining that spark(and it will return..you just need to be alone). Good luck!... (read in full...)
Ever since boyfriend showed me naked photos of him and his ex girlfriends things have changed
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now and things started out beautiful but that something beautiful is dying now. We met through an social network dating site and when we first decided to meet up, I was reluctant and scared, but I went ...
A. 25 September 2014: He sounds like the winner of jerk-of-the year. If I were you, I'd find a real man,not one that is soin love with his naked bodythat he needs for all to see it.How'd you get mixed up with this loser?... (read in full...)
He says we aren't in a relationship so am I being used?
Q. I have been seeing a man, exclusively, for over 2 months. He lives in a town about 20kms away. I spend 3 or 4 nights a week at his place. We share his bed, kiss and cuddle, but have discussed the fact that we would wait before we have sex. We are ...
A. 25 September 2014: Iguess tefchnically he's correct but that's no reason to bail out of a really special friendship is it. He is being disrespectfull. Next time he wants to cuddle, I'd tell him to go get a teddy bear.... (read in full...)
What "red flags" am I missing here and how do I stop them without being an jerk?
Q. I have only had a few girlfriends in my life and the ones I have dump me all the time with no reason other than "I just want to be friends" or "it's not working out" or "I don't want a boyfriend". They say these things after we're already dating or ...
A. 24 September 2014: No, It is never equal give and take. You are just a slow learner in the realm of romance and are coming on way too strong from what you described. Take it much slower next time and allow the female to take the lead role in love making. You sound a ... (read in full...)
He Lied About Dating Someone - Should I Not Be Friends With Him?
Q. Last summer, I fancied a male friend (used to flirt with him a bit but nothing more than that) whom I got on with quite well. I told him I liked him, and he turned me down, saying that he was already seeing someone. There was a mutual guy frien...
A. 24 September 2014: Rardless of him lying or just fibbing to teasr you, The real culprit here seems to me is the nosey common aquaintance. He seems to be way to involved in trying to get something stirred up. Is he just a trouble maker or are there darker motives?... (read in full...)
I'm gay so should I purse a straight friend?
Q. hi. This might take a while basically I have a boyfriend and I am gay. recently I have been having a few weird feelings towards one of our mutual straight friends. I have known him for a couple of years and always thought he was cute but straigh...
A. 24 September 2014: Honeypie is full of wise thought on this matter.... (read in full...)
After 2 months of dating should I ask him where he thinks things are headed?
Q. I went on a first date with a guy I'm currently seeing 2 months ago. We hit it off straight away and have been out together about 15 times since then over the last 2 months. We get on really well and there is a lot I like about him. I have spen...
A. 24 September 2014: Yeah, ask him about his views on marraige,ie. open marraige versu monogomy, etc. Does he like kids, where is he planning to retire, etc. you know just talk about future stuff, even polotical future of the country...in other words divert his thought ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend's pervy behavior makes me question a reconciliation
Q. My ex and I were together for many years. We've been broken up for quite awhile due to various reasons and I've been moving on fairly alright. We're no longer friends on facebook but can see certain recent activity, if we check, and we both do as ...
A. 24 September 2014: You have every right to see his fancinations as 'pervy' but to most it's normal.... (read in full...)
How do I make myself stop watching porn to get off?
Q. I'm straight but I watch lesbian porn to get off, I have don't it like 5 times now and feel that I might be addicted and when I have sex with my boyfriends, who doesn't know about it, one who knows me does. I feel like I have to think about it to ...
A. 24 September 2014: Oh coe on, It's not that big of a problem now is it. For all you know he looks at lesbian porn too.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lies and tells me he doesn't watch porn. My self esteem is at an all time low
Q. Me and my partner have regular and amazing sex, we experiment and I have sexy outfits aswell n rolplay......I found out afew months ago he watches porn, I hate the stuff and I've had a lot of bad relationships becuz of it.....he knows how I feeling ...
A. 24 September 2014: I never will understand how women take it so personally when a guy looks at porn. Te is no 'substitution at play, Men aren't wishing they were with that girls or woman. It's a whole lot mor complexthan that. Get over yourself, he doen't love you any ... (read in full...)
I met my boyfriend when he was my personal trainer and can't help worrying he might meet a new girl the same way!
Q. I met my boyfriend when he was my personal trainer and taught the classes in my gym. We got along really well and became friends - started taking a yoga class together. There was a lot of sexual chemistry between us and eventually we gave in. He ...
A. 24 September 2014: I can't blame you for your concerns after all there are temotations in that job description. Look at how you two met. Maybe he could change jobs?... (read in full...)
I don't like my boyfriend's belly!
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months and I have a problem with him physically. He is 6 feet tall and has nice big arms, which I like, but he has a huge belly from years of living a sedentary life style. He's 22. He used to be ...
A. 24 September 2014: Give him a gym membership and go watch him work out.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of getting hurt so I act strangely and then wind up alone!
Q. Hi im in a bit of a pickle, I've been single nearly 3 years, im a single mum,have been on a lot of dates in the past but never really met anyone I click with, altho I did meet someone at one point we dated became an item quickly but I totally ruined ...
A. 24 September 2014: You have an irrational fear that needs further investigation by a proffesional. Go see one!... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend's pervy behavior makes me question a reconciliation
Q. My ex and I were together for many years. We've been broken up for quite awhile due to various reasons and I've been moving on fairly alright. We're no longer friends on facebook but can see certain recent activity, if we check, and we both do as ...
A. 24 September 2014: Andhere we have yet anther good reason to stay away from fb.No one can have any privacy without someone "investigating"(snooping) and then getting all judgemental about it. My suggestion would be to leave him alone, youtwo are not an 'item' so what ... (read in full...)
Ever since boyfriend showed me naked photos of him and his ex girlfriends things have changed
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now and things started out beautiful but that something beautiful is dying now. We met through an social network dating site and when we first decided to meet up, I was reluctant and scared, but I went ...
A. 24 September 2014: Your bf(?) is a little bit stupid and a whole lot narsasistic. Anyone that wants naked pics of him or her self taken and 'posted' is more in love with themselves than anyone else. The best thing for you to do in my humble opinion is find a new bf.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lies and tells me he doesn't watch porn. My self esteem is at an all time low
Q. Me and my partner have regular and amazing sex, we experiment and I have sexy outfits aswell n rolplay......I found out afew months ago he watches porn, I hate the stuff and I've had a lot of bad relationships becuz of it.....he knows how I feeling ...
A. 22 September 2014: Because he'san idiot, short and sweet but true. Find a new bf, this on is a dud.... (read in full...)
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