Like what
he writes?
... Add *lderthandirt to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
|
Are these red flags? I'm nervous because of my past abusive relationship
Q. Hello! I was previously in an abusive relationship, that ended around 4 years ago. I am now in a new relationship, and we've been together for 3 months. Because of my past abusive relationship I am now very cautious of "red flags", and I find some ...
A. 3 November 2014: Sadly you've been there-done-that so you have that hai on the back of the neck feeling so why not follow that historic lessons learned feeling you have and make a new friend?... (read in full...)
How would you react to her suspicious behaviour?
Q. Ok I will try to keep this as short and to the point as possible. A few weeks back my girlfriend sent me a nude pic of herself in the shower on WhatsApp messenger, though I appreciated the pic, I told her I don't really like using whatsapp because I ...
A. 3 November 2014: I'd be suspicious about who took the pic while she was in a shower. Ghosts?... (read in full...)
I want to get married at Disney World but he doesn't
Q. I got engaged a few month ago and need some help. Since I was 10 I said I was going to get married at Disneyworld and I've never changed my mind. My fiance wants a big wedding here. I don't!! All we do I argue over it because I want to go to ...
A. 2 November 2014: WhenCowsattack has the perfect solution.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend got drunk and didnt come home last night...how do I handle this?
Q. OK so I hope someone can help me. I've been going out with my new boyfriend for about 3,months and he has treated me wonderfully up until now. As it was Halloween I had gone out with my friends while he went out with his. We went out seperatly ad he ...
A. 2 November 2014: You'd do what my wife would have done and pack up and leave me to my own doomed future. Save yourself.... (read in full...)
How do you let a man understand that having premarital sex is not the way to go
Q. Any man out here waited for their woman who did not want to have premarital sex and married her? And how are you doing in the marriage. Or do you know of anyone who this worked for? I am recently single two years ago and made a vow to the Lord ...
A. 1 November 2014: We waited but did experiment with very heavy peting. Waiting back in the day was "easy' If you didn't want a child before the wedding, you waited. Now days the are way too many ways to proceed without the problems from a mishap. We're doing g... (read in full...)
If he's not happy why doesn't he just leave?
Q. Hi, I'm really new to this site, hopefully you guys can help me with some good advice. I have been with the same man for almost 5 years now and we have a child together who is 4. When I first got with him I was so happy, I fell in...
A. 1 November 2014: He's obviously not going to make the first move,ergo you must do what is right for you.... (read in full...)
How many tears have to fall before my husband gives me a hug?
Q. I've been feeling really bummed out about the way my husband responds to...well me being bummed out. Sorry to be confusing. For example today I took a big hit as I realized I missed the deadline for papers for a sizable sum of money...I had lots of ...
A. 1 November 2014: Sorry 'bout you're tardyness, maybe he was too bumed out also to realize your anguish?... (read in full...)
My mentally ill sister is preventing me from having a relationship with my parents
Q. Hi everyone, I desperately need some advice, please please help me. My sister is mentally ill. Has been for over a decade. Her mental illness, which my parents have, till this day, chosen not to acknowledge, has destroyed my family. For the p...
A. 31 October 2014: Being kind of familiar with bipolar folks, i can tell you with certainty that your sister can be helped with medication. However, she will NEVER admit to being ill because she can't(it's part of the illness) Plus, it is not a win/loose thing going ... (read in full...)
His ex best girl friend is back on the scene- should I be worried
Q. Hello people- another question for you. Been with my boyfriend now For a year and a couple of months- we live together at his mums house and are very happy until yesterday- he has a week of work (i don't) and he went to a shopping centre yesterda...
A. 31 October 2014: Not stupid at all very smart...He obviously has unresolved feelings . Keep your head on a swival and an eye on him.... (read in full...)
What did he mean by "to plant an intention"?
Q. Dear Aunts, I met this guy through a mutual friend. He is smart, funny and very ambitious. He is 27 and is going to uni sometime soon. We both like eachother but I have my head on and I try to weigh any pros or cons before even starting a relat...
A. 31 October 2014: That's a new one but I bet it has a subliminal message you wouldn't like so beware.... (read in full...)
Violence and lack of respect in our marriage -- how do we work on this on our own?
Q. Once in awhile my husband and I get into some real physical fights, which is NOT acceptable, I know that. Last night it started with my husband coming home after travelling for a week (I was alone with my toddlers), and he noticed a crack in the ...
A. 30 October 2014: Love/hate relatiships last about as long as your average light bulb doe before it burns out.I recomend you begin workig on an exitstradegy. I know, Iknow -you want to work it out. O great! then go to a councelor. Lots of luck getting him to go. Good ... (read in full...)
It's like I don't know to date him
Q. I have been dating this guy for five months now and nowadays he has gotten a behaviour of not calling me at all even when I text him he never replies my text I talked to him about it and I was telling he how its better off if we break up.he got ...
A. 30 October 2014: Souns like he has exited this relationship withoutannouncing it.... (read in full...)
Is our sex life suffering because of what he's doing on his phone?
Q. My husband comments on my clothes if he thinks I look sexy in them, then there are days he doesn't even notice anything about me. Another issue is, he gets turned on by me, starts getting intimate, touches, undresses me, he gets sexually aroused,...
A. 30 October 2014: Ithink he's having a mid-life crisis and/or physical problems with the male organs(prostate,testosterone levels,etc.) which requires a straight forward talk with his urologist ASAP. I have hunch tha the phone issue is a non- issue i.e; phone sex ... (read in full...)
My ex sees what I did as cheating
Q. hi everyone. i have a question for ull. i had been going out with my ex for a bit more than one year and we were on a break. i went out with this other guy for a movie and i kissed him on the cheek and he kissed me on my lips nd i pushed hin away ...
A. 30 October 2014: Bt way to answer this is to have you re-tell the event with you in his place and yo0u in his place. Then the question is did he cheat?... (read in full...)
My husband stays in contact with his racist father
Q. Dear all, I am a black woman and my husband is white. We've been together four years and married this summer just gone. The problem is this. The rest of his family are lovely and I have never encountered any problems. But his father is seve...
A. 30 October 2014: I agree that your FIL is an idiot if he's still racist after all these years. I wouldn't want to go visit either. Howeve, the ONLY way he'll ever evolve is by seeing first hand a loving rational person that just happens to be blessed with mahogany ... (read in full...)
Is 'heartache' a figurative term or does it really hurt?
Q. I've often heard of the term 'Heartache' but is it possible to feel real pain in the heart from missing someone, breaking up with someone, being hurt by someone emotionally, etc? Often times when I think of the possibility of breaking up with my ...
A. 30 October 2014: I don't know if there is really an internal cramp or not but it sure felt like it to me when I was dumped some 60 years ago. It feltlike someone was pulling my guts out through my throat. I suppose there could be a physical response to a breakup but ... (read in full...)
He wants to live with us and I don't want him to think it's a free ride
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles. I guess I need some advice from strangers purely because everyone who knows me or my boyfriend seem to be giving their opinion based on how things were between us before. We have a four year old son, and he wasn't plan...
A. 30 October 2014: This is exactly why marraige is way better ofan idea than just 'kinda living together. The guy needs to grow up big time.When you are a man you pay your own way. You don't mooch of of others. Just because he's a dad does not give him part ownership ... (read in full...)
I really like this guy, but I can't figure him out. Any tips please to help me understand?
Q. I've been hanging out with this guy I met in class. He's 23. At first, he would just text me about school stuff. Then, he started asking me to hang out with him. We would talk almost everyday and its mostly him contacting me first. So, the first ...
A. 29 October 2014: No need to figure him out he's a ship in the night and the foghorn never really sounded so go on about your business. If he's interested, he will persue you( that's the guy funvtion) otherwise, nice while it lasted. blah-blah. Good luck in future ... (read in full...)
How do I bring up trying to have a more spicy sex life? My husband isn't very open!
Q. I am trying to spice up my sex life with my husband. I yearn for a exciting, sensual, heart thumping sex life with my husband. I would be so turned on if my husband would masterbate in front of me while I masterate for him. How do I even begin to ...
A. 29 October 2014: Rent/buy a porn video and make him watch with you naked(bet him he won't get aroused)... (read in full...)
I orgasm when alone, yet lose the orgasm when with my Bf. Yes he's caring with foreplay. What needs to change?
Q. Hello ! So I'm having a issue with reaching an orgasm with my boyfriend . He's 5 years older then me and he's the best lover I have ever had ( I think it's because he's older ) but anyways I have never climaxed with anybody that I have been ...
A. 29 October 2014: It sounds to me you are trying to overthink the whole thing. Just relax and enjoy. he big O will happen with a little from your man's fingers or tounge. RELAX... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is sending mixed signals, what should I do?
Q. dear cupid, i need your help. i am a virgin and i have been in a relationship for almost six months now. my boyfriend has had sex before and lately hes been hinting that he wants to have sex with me. i was a little scared at first and i kind of felt ...
A. 29 October 2014: It could have been a cruel "test" to see if you'd go along with his desirs. I think it was a silly way to approach the whole subject and my advice would be to find a more mature young man to give your virginity up to preferable the one you marry. ... (read in full...)
He's 14 to my 15. He had a Gf but broke up. Should I keep talking online to him?
Q. There’s this guy at my school in the year below me and I've had my eye on him for a while (just thinking he's cute and what not), but when i found out my friend knew him i made a move and found out he had a girlfriend. We talked for a while an...
A. 29 October 2014: "Talking" online is NOT really talking. You can't read facial expressions during the "chat" so my advice is to get off line and convert to the real world.... (read in full...)
How can I tell him I'd rather have a piece of jewellery than chocolates as a present, and not sound ungrateful?
Q. So, on my birthday my boyfriend (of about 9 months) bought me chocolates, along with taking me out for dinner and dessert. I enjoyed it, afterwards we spent some time together on the beach and I acknowledge he did spend a fair amount of money on...
A. 29 October 2014: Uh, I'm not sure there's a way to tell someone that is giving you a gift that you'd rather have jewls instead without making him think you are ungratefull and self absorbed but I guess you could try by saying something like, "Gee mr X, I appreciate ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend and his ex-sister in law! I am incandesant with anger over this. What could or should I do?
Q. My boyfriend slept with his ex sister in-law, so that now has a baby by his brother. I can't get over the past and I don't think I ever will. I hate that "BITCH" and she's part of their family which I can't stand!!!What should I do about this s...
A. 29 October 2014: Deep Breaths, Anger won't fix it. Half the blame goes to the other person. Best solution is to divorce yourself from the entire situation, sip some wine.... (read in full...)
How can the spark be returned to our relationship? What needs to change or improve?
Q. Well, we've been together for 5 years and we lose that spark we had before. We almost argues and fight all the time and we broke up 3 months before and now getting back together again. But things has changed and so do our feelings. He said he ...
A. 28 October 2014: It sounds like he has got you pretty much under his control and is also demonstrating his superiority(alledged). i think he is one of these kind of guys that thinks he is a ledgend in his own mind and has you convinced of it to. I'd bet that you ... (read in full...)
Slept with my ex whilst drunk, but he's dating my friend.
Q. Hello, Around 9 months ago, I got drunk and slept with an ex boyfriend. It was a complete mistake - the relationship ended badly and it was one of the first times we'd hung out alone since we broke up. Ended up having way too much to drink, gettin...
A. 28 October 2014: If you can think of an "upside" to telling her all the sordid details of a drunken mistake then by all means create a huge drama mess that will melt down everyone's past and future relationships.I'd clam up a let the past be part of the past.... (read in full...)
It seems he doesn't want me in his life anymore, what do I do?
Q. We met 6 years ago in college and since then he have been talking on the phone and he said he used to care about me and all that but would always ask for sexy pictures. At first I refused in doing so and then I gave in. So then, he came to town to ...
A. 28 October 2014: I agree with Honeypie... (read in full...)
He was just being friendly, right?
Q. A young guy has recently started at out workplace and was being introduced to everyone and he came into the room I was in, smiled and said hello but as he left and while I was talking to his manager he winked at me. I know I should probably ...
A. 28 October 2014: Iprobably safe to assume he was EXTREEMLY nervous and had no idea what the heck he was doing other than acknowledging the meeting. He's probably curled up somewhere going,"Oh darn did I really just wink and run?"... (read in full...)
I resent her, and feel bad about not forgiving her, this time. Is it time to break up with her?
Q. On Wednesday night I found out my girlfriend had been actively looking for someone on a dating site, after logging into the account I seen she was flirting/dirty talking with this other person, I confronted her the second I found it. We've been...
A. 28 October 2014: Quiting a drug is very hard to do but once done you are free!... (read in full...)
Seeking input on which is the better work option. Current employer or a change?
Q. I am hoping someone can help me! I am currently a nanny and work 16 hours a week mainly working from 2.30 until 6.30 Monday to Thursday. I am also not on a contract. However, the family are moving abroad next August. They have asked me to work...
A. 28 October 2014: Here's what I would do. I'd take pen to paper and figure the hourly rate you were making and multiply it by 1.5(time and a half is typical overtime rate here in this country) charge them for the three day per week they want you to work and also do ... (read in full...)
Why are siblings so resistant to giving any support to our mother?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am the second oldest child and I have four other siblings who just act as if they don't have a living parent.I can't get them to do a single thing for my for our mom everything has a price on it they won't go to the store without ...
A. 28 October 2014: This is all too comon of a problem in families. It is something that needs to be worked out logically and free from drama. I'd suggest you all get a third party mediator of some sort,like a social worker to sit down with all involed and do a pros ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a boyfriend to mock his girlfriend for being pretty?
Q. Is it normal for my own boyfriend to mock me for being pretty? I've always been insecure about my looks, especially when it comes to him. Although it's gotten much better now (been together for about 3 yrs), I always have doubts about how I look ...
A. 28 October 2014: Firstly pretty is subjective. Beauty is truley i the eyes of the beholder. That is to say don't let it go to your head. His feelings toward you guide his vision of you so all the compliments are driven by his emotions. ust relax and try to share the ... (read in full...)
My Dad has told me he's disowning me for spending the night with my Bf. Feel incredibly hurt. What can I do?
Q. I'm sorry if this post is lengthy and/or complicated. I'm 19 years old, and ever since I turned 18, I've been having more and more issues with my dad. My parents are divorced, and are very different from each other. My dad is very overprotecti...
A. 28 October 2014: I kind of feel for the dad.I can see where watching "daddy's little girl" mature is a heart-wrentching process that could make any man want to do strange things. He does not want to imagine you with a boy's hands on you or visualize you in a auto ... (read in full...)
How to reach "that point"?
Q. Im not sure if anybody else out there has the same problem I have. But looking for some sexual advice. I am a squirter when I can "get off" but my problem is reaching that point during sex. I feel the tickling feeling when your about to explode...
A. 27 October 2014: I'm not sure if there's anything "wrong" you may just be trying oo hard. Relax.... (read in full...)
Heard rumors that she's a virgin. After dating for 5 months, how to bring up the topic of sex?
Q. I have been dating this amazing girl for 5 months, I am 24 and she is 20. We get along great and connect very well, however in the time we have been dating the subject of sex (or anything remotely close to the subject) has not been brought up yet. I ...
A. 27 October 2014: Tmay come as a shock to you but women rarely bring up the topic of sex just to chit-chat about. Her being a virgin has nothing to do with anthing about the subject. It's not like she's going to start up a conversation about the joys of virginity. ... (read in full...)
His apartment is freezing, but he doesn't turn up the heat! Do I stop visiting?
Q. Perhaps this is a weird question, but some suggestions on how to best deal with this would be nice. I've got a key to my boyfriends apartment, and I have been staying at his place for about every other day these last months. It's usually his plac...
A. 27 October 2014: Why put yourself into this fridged environment? stay at your place on cold nights. If he gets annoyed, tell him you're not a polar bear.... (read in full...)
Still mourning my ex who passed away due to suicide. How can I move on? And what to do about the crush I have on my tenant?
Q. Lost my boyfriend a year ago through suicide. People are telling i should move on cause we were not married. In my heart i still miss him a lot. Recently ive discovered that im having a crush on my tenant, which is when my late boyfriend died i...
A. 27 October 2014: It's not healthy to mourne for an extended period of time but whether or not you were married to him has nothing to do with how long or how much you mourn. The crush may be just that9 acrush) so letting that relationship mature some more without ... (read in full...)
Met online. He's separated but still married. Did he break up due to me questioning him?
Q. I really need your advice here- I'm female (27) been dating this amazing man (35) who's separated but still married that I met online, -we went on four amazing dates (2 dinners, drinks and an art exhibition). We instantly clicked and we had amazing ...
A. 27 October 2014: Your questions probably simply reminded him of the fact he wasn't 'really" ready for a fling. You had every right to examine his status and his intentions. I'm glad your instincts made you feel sometning wasn't right. Follow your instincts. even ... (read in full...)
I have trouble with eye contact with people and I look down or I stare. What to do? I Need help.
Q. Omg, i am terrible when it comes to eye contact! I am 15 now but ever since i started secondary school (11yo) i've had trouble keeping eye contact, especially with teachers. I used to NEVER make eye contact, look down etc. except when i spoke to ...
A. 26 October 2014: Yep, it is a hard skill to learn. I overcame it by looking at the other person's eye brows. They can't tell the difference and it lets you concentrate on something other than direct eye to eye contact. try it once or twice with a friend and ask them ... (read in full...)
Have I already ruined my chance to ever be aroused by a man because of my porn addiction and my enjoyment of masturbation?
Q. I don't know if this question is appropriate for this site, but I really need to talk to someone about this. Please help. I'm a 19 yr old girl addicted to pornography. I had never had sex (or anything sensual/intimate with anyone) until last ...
A. 26 October 2014: You're not ruined you're just used to one thing rather than the other. Relax! you'll be fine.... (read in full...)
Do I tell Friend A what is going on? What about Friend B's partner?
Q. I'm a pretty liberal person, so am not trying to be the morality police, but am worried about my friends and am being burdened by this knowledge. One of my friends (Friend A) has been in a casual but exclusive relationship since January, with th...
A. 26 October 2014: Which friend do you value more/ that should be a hint as to who not to tell. THEN, try to put yourself in each of their shoes and see what the upside to knowledge of A and B's wierd behaviour becoming common knowledge. Will there be gunshots? and ... (read in full...)
| *lderthandirt's friends
These are mutual friends, so *lderthandirt has
added them and they have added *lderthandirt!
|
