A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Thank you for clicking.I'm sorry if this isn't very well-worded -- I'm not really sure how to begin this, hah.A few years ago, I met someone who is now near and dear to my heart, who I'll call John. John and I met online, which, I know is a really unreliable place, but it wasn't long until we became friends. He shared a lot of interests with me, and we were seemingly always talking. Needless to say, we soon became close friends. Finding someone who was like him made me so incredibly happy, as cliche as it may sound. Fast forwarding, he asked me to be his girlfriend (or as much as you can be someone's girlfriend through the internet) and I couldn't help but say yes. The relationship was a-okay in the beginning. And I fell for him. I fell for him more than I've ever fallen for anyone else before. I know it may sound odd since I'd only met him on the internet, but... I feel it to be true. It was until 8 months into the relationship that I got scared, and fled. I broke up with John out of fear I'd mess up, which, in itself, was me messing up. It hurt so bad to do it, and I hated myself for hurting him like I did. I couldn't bring myself to stop talking to him completely, so we continued to talk afterwards. As friends.I broke up with him about 5 months ago, and about a few months ago I got prescribed antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication. So far, they've been working pretty well. [:John's been... generally supportive of me going onto medication. He builds me up so so high, but manages to kick me down back to ground zero again. I don't know if it's resentment because of the break-up, and if it is, I can't blame him for it. But I'm so incredibly terrified of relapsing back into depression again. I've had some issues in my past, but really, I want to leave them behind. I don't want to dwell on them, and I don't ever want to contemplate suicide ever again. John, in a sense, reminds me of my father, and I believe that's where these issues might've stemmed from. John's fairly controlling, and I've suspected him on more than one case of him manipulating me, like my father has. Sorry if this isn't much information, I really don't want to delve into that topic.What do I do? Do I keep talking to him?Thank you very much for taking your time to read this. I appreciate it.
View related questions:
broke up, met online, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for responding. I appreciate all of your input. [:
I'm going to follow through with separating myself from John for a while until I've gotten better, and, when the time comes, I'll decide if I should continue contact with him or not.
Again, thank you all. [:
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 November 2014):
 I think if this "relationship" is making YOU feel even MORE anxious then it's NOT a good an healthy relationship. And you should FOCUS on your health more then this "pseudo BF".
You know a very smart man once said :"Only thing we have to fear is fear itself" (Franklin D. Roosevelt )
If your dad is one of the reason you HAVE these anxieties in the first place and John is a LOT like your dad, then you are setting yourself up for failure by sticking it out.
DEAL with your issues and don't date (on or off the internet) till you are in a good place.
If you are seeing a therapist talk to her/him about why you may feel attracted to guys who are a lot like your dad. HOW you can stop the cycle.
YOU are the most IMPORTANT person in your life. So start to put yourself and your health FIRST.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 November 2014):
 In my opinion(grain of salt) No, you need to focus on your health and that can best be done without the anxiety of your internet friend. With you wondering what he will think or say on the next post can't be a positive thing for your healing process. Why not ask him if it would be OK to take a one month "vacation" and resume "chatting on a specific date, you decide. In that way you can relax and deal with day to day BS and get better. Anyway, that's my humble input. Good Luck!and best wishes for a total recovery.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2014):
Im guessing you have issues with your own father, may be he was controlling to, and because of that you r subconsciously attract men like your father, cause you believe that's how you deserve to be treated. This man is no good for you, i think you should stop talking to him straight away and seek some professional help. I know you probably dont want to talk about your personal problems cause it may be to painful for you. But not talking about it wont make it go way. You should get a cansellor and seek some help. May be talk to a close friend or family member you need to talk to someone they will understand. I know it will be hard but trust me it will only be worse if you dont.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2014): Firstly if you have never video skyped this guy then yes do not talk to him again. Secondly, he seems like he brings you a lot of drama, seeing as you've never met him in person how about you just cool it off and focus on other things.
...............................
|
