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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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My boyfriend spends more time with his ex than he does with me!
Q. My boyfriend has been spending a lot of time with his ex girlfriend. This has been going on since they split up a year ago. I tried to be tolerant of the situation as I didn't want to control his life. I did however bring it up with him once an...
A. 7 October 2014: H's a news flash, they never splt up. Go on to greener pastures he's hung up on her and not you.... (read in full...)
Please stop this ride, I want to get off!
Q. Dear cupid,I still find myself still crushing over a guy I met years ago.We talk on and off from time to time.I still keep in contact with his family even though we aren't together.This man keeps sending me on a emotional ride and I really don't ...
A. 7 October 2014: Nt too hard to do, just divert your attention to other things likelearning to play a musical instrument or painting or something than devotes a lot of attention to things other than boys.... (read in full...)
Engaged for a year. Yet he's rarely in the mood for sex. Has our relationship run it's course?
Q. I have been engaged to my man for almost a year. We dont go out anymore and sex that only happens when i throw a fit. He always says his back hurts but when it's work he is out the door no problem. So all im good for is to wash his clothes and...
A. 7 October 2014: That has got to be the strangest excuse, right up there with "i've got a headache' which when you analyize it makes no sense. Need to get on top(pun intended) of this 'problem' ASAP. Might want to delay wedding bells for a while? Good Luck... (read in full...)
Dated a guy who gave me HIV yet he's not supportive to me. What are my options?
Q. I've been talking to this guy since early summer. He was unaware he was HiV. We had sex and I was given the HIV virus. It has been a hard depressing Time for me. He is the only one that knows I'm postive. To me he is not showing no support t...
A. 6 October 2014: i hope you have reported him.... (read in full...)
My bridesmaid told me she is a recovering alcoholic! How do I deal with this when I know there will be drinking at the wedding?
Q. I'm getting married next year and I asked one of friends who I have known since college to be a bridesmaid. She had said yes but then proceeded to tell me about being a newly recovering alcoholic. I never knew that she had problems with alcohol or ...
A. 6 October 2014: Stickwith Chigirl on this one.... (read in full...)
I'm 21 and pregnant, yet my Bf is denying that the baby is his. What can I say to my parents?
Q. I'm 21 and pregnant and my boyfriend is denying that the child is his child. Now I'm stressed. I don't know what to tell my parents please help....
A. 6 October 2014: Honeypie is right on.... (read in full...)
Is it really my call to pull my alcoholic boyfriend out of rehab?
Q. I need some help and guidance here because I don't know what i am doing or if im doing the right thing anymore. Right ---- so my boyfriend of six months has entered a rehab program for alcohol addiction and due to problems inside there (some guy ...
A. 6 October 2014: You are between the hard place and the rock here BUT, I think I'd let the ab progam ply out. If he goes home to dear old dad, he could relapse. Just hang in there and continue to support his progress. Just pray,good luck... (read in full...)
My friend's dad is cheating and his children don't know what to do!
Q. My best friend is having a real life crisis! Any help would be really appreciated. Her brother was helping their dad link his emails to his phone. When doing this he found that their dad has a profile on a sex website. (Where people message ea...
A. 6 October 2014: Tg a "midlife crisis and wishing he were young again which is not going to happen. Confroning him will be explosive because he will feel his pivavacy was invaded( technically true) and telling them other will cause pain for her. Ergo, I don't see ... (read in full...)
Am I being too persnickety? Should I see this man again?
Q. With a track record of attracting and dating emotionally unavailable men, I've been working on trying to be more open and emotionally available myself, and dating more men, basically accepting most dates from men who ask online. I've been on t...
A. 6 October 2014: A; 'persnickety is the wrong term, B; no, being choosey is not wrong he sounds icky to me!... (read in full...)
I feel stuck and miserable in this town. Is there anything I can do?
Q. I'm about 20 years old now. I've been married since I was 18 and I'm pregnant with my second child. My husband is amazing, has a great job, and our relationship is just fine. My problem is, shortly before our first was born, we moved to a new state. ...
A. 6 October 2014: Your life sounds like an eviable one. Millions of women would give anything for the life you describe. I fail to see a problem. Sorry, good luck... (read in full...)
Does there come a point when you think there is more bad than good in a marriage? Can things actually turn around when one person is adamant that he is always right and blameless?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles, I guess I am scratching my head with my situation and really could do with some objective input. I'm married to a guy who is 13 years my senior. We have been together for 10 years and are complete opposites. When thi...
A. 5 October 2014: Ahhhhhh, the joys of marraige! You 2 sound completly 'normal' I don't think there are two people on the planet that can live togethether in perfect harmony. There are always two points of view on everything. Just think of the good times and block ... (read in full...)
Does there come a point when you think there is more bad than good in a marriage? Can things actually turn around when one person is adamant that he is always right and blameless?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles, I guess I am scratching my head with my situation and really could do with some objective input. I'm married to a guy who is 13 years my senior. We have been together for 10 years and are complete opposites. When thi...
A. 5 October 2014: Ahhhhhh, the joys of marraige! You 2 sound completly 'normal' I don't think there are two people on the planet that can live togethether in perfect harmony. There are always two points of view on everything. Just think of the good times and block ... (read in full...)
My Husband sent a text to another girl in the middle of the night ...
Q. I have a very simple question. Should I be worried? I got off work today to find a fb message from a girl my husband used to be friends with. It had a picture of a iPhone convo and her message to me read "this is not the first time your husban...
A. 5 October 2014: Uh-Oh, you have found a real problem in the making. You can either fix it now or wait until you can't take it anymore but I bet it ends in divorce no matter which avenue you take.Good Luck... (read in full...)
I thought he liked me! What happened?
Q. A co-worker and I really hit it off when we met. He kept calling me pretty and beautiful, he kept telling me the dates me wanted to take me on, he said I was an amazing girl and he couldn't get over how I could be single. He would call me and we ...
A. 5 October 2014: Sounds to me like he finally realized he was being inappropriate and is embarassed.... (read in full...)
Married 7 years and cannot conceive. Have some to dread lovemaking. What should I do?
Q. hi agony aunt, I've been married for 7 years and yet to conceive. I use to have a very high sexual libido but not any more. I now dread my husband's touch and talk of love making ,its affecting my marriage. what do i do?...
A. 5 October 2014: Being the true curmudgeon that I have been accused of, I'd say you join the club of the millions upon millions of other women that have given up on sex. No Problem... (read in full...)
I can't be with both girls! I have a lovely girl here but what about the one who I met in Florida?
Q. Thank you for reading - it's quite funny as I'm normally the one my friends ask for advice, yet here I am asking you all... It's been hard and I haven't been able to sleep much so I really need an outside perspective- thank you. I met a girl about...
A. 2 October 2014: Yor friends are right.... (read in full...)
I want to be with this guy but I don't want to create a situation that would be bad for us or our other flat mates
Q. Hiya Ive just started university and im living in halls. My problem is thr chemistry with one of my room mates. Ive been living here for just over a month but had spoken to this particular room mate a lot before I arrived and we had skyped etc. At ...
A. 2 October 2014: I am prett sure you can get the to reassign yo to a new room if you letthem know of the problem.... (read in full...)
What makes a person interesting and why are some people ignored?
Q. what makes a person interesting? Im an accepting and kind/caring person, Im quieter, single,a few friends who I see occasionally but are often very busy, but I enjoy conversation one to one and in small groups and I can be quiet assert...
A. 2 October 2014: To me; interesting people are well-informed on current event, well-read and good conversationalists.Pople that share my interests are interesting. Good listeners, eclectic and love to travel. Now all these qualities are my own personal atributes. ... (read in full...)
Should I trust my boyfriend or not?
Q. my bf and I have been dating for a week and 3 days. we have hugged a few times but thats all. plus I think hes flirting with other girls. he has also drawled me pictures but I dont know if I should trust him. should i?...
A. 2 October 2014: Never trust a teenage boy, I remember being one. Our attention span is at of a ew puppy dog and we want sex from whomever we can get it from... (read in full...)
The guy I like has an obvious type, and I'm not it. Should I ask him out anyway?
Q. I fancy someone I know, but his taste in girls is so different to me I'm wondering if it's worth going for it or if I should leave it. He's not my usual "type" (I usually date guys who are quite similiar to me, but he's the stereotypical very ...
A. 2 October 2014: If you don't fit into his taste of women(interesting choice of words) maybe you should look for some other man that is more tasteful...sounds like the "type" of gal he likes is pretty icky to me 'hipster' gals to me are incredibly shallow and vain, ... (read in full...)
Living with my husband's family is putting stress on our marriage!
Q. Hi Aunties,My relationship with my DH went from us being happy and ignorning all of the conflict around us, to him and I arguing about his parents. We live with his parents and sisters so we can save money for a house of our own. His father holds ...
A. 2 October 2014: There'no good nswer except to move out! No magic wands exist when it comes to family issues except the waving of the hands in goodbye.... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to keep my distance?
Q. Hi there, so my boyfriend of two months is currently in rehab and he's upset because it's one that's quite neglected, without much support.I have been very supportive, phoning him as much as possible, bringing him things to make him feel better ...
A. 1 October 2014: Nope, you are right to stay out of his rehab.... (read in full...)
For his birthday I'm going to tell him 101 things I love about him
Q. Hihi! My boyfriend's birthday is coming up.... I'm making like a 101 things I love about you in a jar... Do you think it's a good idea??? Do you think he'll like it??? :O I have to give it to him earlier than his real day as we are gonna be on a ...
A. 1 October 2014: Awwwww. that's too sweet!... (read in full...)
There's no spontaneous affection from him
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years and we live together. We used to have sex not all the time but 5 to 6 times a month or more. But here recently we haven't at all. We used to sleep naked and now he doesn't at all. He uses his ...
A. 1 October 2014: I bet it's just a slow-down phase. What's more problematic is your self denial to pleasure yourself, that is a bit more troubling than his behavior.... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend of 7 years but have fallen for another man!
Q. Dear cupid,my heart is torn in two and I sincerely don't know what to do.I'm 28 years old and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7years now(I've been totally faithful to him) along the line he cheated twice but I forgave him, and ...
A. 30 September 2014: The "seven year itch" it was a movie(pretty good one too) you have a dilema young lady. You need to defcie which of the two men will treat you like you want to be treated and which one has more of your heart. It wouldn't hurt to evaluate their ... (read in full...)
The 40 Year Old (Almost) Virgin
Q. Hey Aunties! I turned 41 years old this year and while I am not a virgin I am close! Back in college (1992-1993) I did have a gf that I had sex with for about 6 months but that has been the extent of my lifetime sexual activity. Women just aren'...
A. 30 September 2014: Good gosh. So what arou even depressed about? There are millions of married men that get less sex than you and they don't get all down on themselves. It's nobodys fault that you are not getting laid every other day or two. That's just kind of the ... (read in full...)
I am dating a guy 5 years younger than me and am afraid his friends are laughing behind our backs
Q. Recently I have started seeing a guy who is five years younger then me, he is 19, and I have just turned 24. I have known him a while, as my friend is in a relationship with his older brother, and things started up in the last few months. He i...
A. 30 September 2014: You should get a cool t shirt with the picure of a cougar on it and strut proudly in front of his friends and tell them to eat their heart out. Ain't no big thing sis. Who cares what his friends think because they're probably just jealous.... (read in full...)
Do I ask my boyfriend if he wants more time to himself? Or wants out?
Q. Im been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Lately he has started staying at his house more and more. Im hardly seeing him. Do i ask him out right - "do you want time on your own" or "if you would like to finish ower relationship?" ...
A. 30 September 2014: If he's not agoraphobic, then you should tell him straight out. "Get your lazy butt in gear and take me to dinner or something." good Luck... (read in full...)
I feel like guys don't want to talk to me unless I dumb myself down
Q. I can't keep a guy's interest after the first night, will someone ever stay around long enough? I meet a guy out in a pub or maybe a friend of a friend and I can hold their interest for the night but after a string of promises that I will get a te...
A. 30 September 2014: Aside from the eyes, the most interesting thing about a woman is her mind. Let it shine like the sun, dumb down the sex, crank up the IQ.... (read in full...)
Hardened intuition- trust or not??
Q. My long distance boyfriend (we are in our late 40s) insists that he is fully committed to me, is exclusive and has plans for us to retire together In 10 years... He was married for a year when he was 19 then played the field as a partying bachelor. ...
A. 30 September 2014: I never argue with a woman's intuition because it's always right,ergo find a new clown.... (read in full...)
Is there any other way to handle the situation considering how strict my parents are?
Q. Hello :) This guy really likes me and he even said "I love you" to me and I'm actually really into this guy. We started off really good friends and we found that we have a lot in common. We actually tried dating and it lasted for 7 months but a...
A. 29 September 2014: I can't imagine any aunts or uncles treating you 'mean' maybe they didn't tell you what you wanted to hear but I;ve yet to see a mean response on this site even though some deserve it. My take is that if you two really have the proper deep feelings ... (read in full...)
Is he really too scared to get attached or is that just an excuse?
Q. Hi, this could be a long question so bare with me. Ive written about this previously. I had a 'thing' with my boss who is now my ex boss.I knew him before I worked there. Its very personal as to how we met earlier on this year i was attacked...
A. 29 September 2014: Wow, what a prediciment could there be a more complicated life anywhere (he asked rhetoricly). what I can sumize is that he may not want you to feel you owe him something for his actions and that hisory might play a larger than life part in any ... (read in full...)
I haven't told him about the baby for fear of rejection
Q. my baby is two weeks old. in all honesty, i had a lot of doubts and had actually considered adoption because i was so unsure about being a mother. everything changed the moment i met him and I'm happier than I've ever been. he's so perfect. i had ...
A. 29 September 2014: First; May I commend you on keeping the baby, You will forever be happy you did so(except when he becomes a teenager). So many girls in your position would have aborted or taken an easy way out. But you are obvious a very brave and strong person and ... (read in full...)
No second date after 3-4 weeks of texting and talking...should I give up?
Q. Last month, I met this guy online and we hit it off really well. I gave him my number, and we have been texting every day since … We went on one date, 3 weeks ago and it went great! All kinds of sparks, and he was very romantic and attentiv...
A. 29 September 2014: You've got a life to live. He's forgoten his brain somewhere else. Fools are a dime a dozen find a new one. He has to live with hi own stupidity not you. You can't fix stupid.... (read in full...)
After we married I found out she'd been a call girl
Q. A year and half ago i happen to know a girl through her relative. She was living in Singapore and i was living in UK. But we both were from Nepal(asian country). She was there since she was 8 or 9 living with her parents and two siblings. Her ...
A. 29 September 2014: She's still the girl you married The past is something niether one of you can change. Plan the future and forget the past.... (read in full...)
Can this be fixed? Broke up. Reconnected for 1 night. But says we're done as he can't trust me.
Q. I need advice. I split with my boyfriend of a year a couple of months ago and flitted between getting back together and then not doing so. (I was going through a big depressive episode a and he was finding me difficult.) I also kissed someone whil...
A. 29 September 2014: Go with WiseOwlE... (read in full...)
Sex with Guy at work. Do I try to dodge her questions or tell her the truth, and lose her as a friend?
Q. So a few weeks ago I had sex with a guy that I work with, it was just a one time thing as we are just friends and I was leaving the job and we both wanted to have sex with each other. However now I feel really guilty as one of my close friends real...
A. 29 September 2014: If you were her what would you want? do that.... (read in full...)
Has my GF moved on, or can I restart and save our relationship?
Q. Hey friends..my gf has been annoying me for the last few weeks. she has also been spending time with a new male friend, because i refused to have sex with her last time as i was not feeling well. Is she teasing me or something else?please do sugge...
A. 29 September 2014: not teasing she's telling you to get lost..I'd follow her instructions if i were you.... (read in full...)
I know he's a player but my gut says he really likes me
Q. ok so here goes.. I met this guy in march just after i broke up with my ex and we hit it off straight away! its like we just had this little spark as soon as we met each other. I knew he was a player from the beginning and had commitment issues b...
A. 29 September 2014: Ie with ms Honeypie you're being used and being teased about it at the same time your "payer" is a real jerk... (read in full...)
I have a higher libido than my husband does, and it's starting to frustrate me!
Q. I have been married for about five years. I seem to have a higher libido than my husband does. I am really beginning to feel the frustration of him not being in the mood as much as I am. Of course I can please myself and often do, but it is so ...
A. 28 September 2014: Dora? Is that you?...Just joking, You could try some sex toys, they're all over the net. He might want to 'help you out' from time to time when he's down. Lots of Luck... (read in full...)
I still seem to think that my low social status equates to my worthiness of a person.
Q. Recently I went to my younger cousins 18th birthday party. It was really great night. What I noticed though was myself feeling slightly bad about myself and jealous due to how popular my cousin is. My cousin got the looks on the family. She's ...
A. 28 September 2014: High school is a 'proving ground' for self esteem and social networking. But if you survive it you can survive in life. You got through it without killing anyone so you're a survivor. Now you need to blosom and learn to act like the world is your ... (read in full...)
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