Like what
he writes?
... Add *lderthandirt to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
|
I'm very hurt by this comment he made! What does he mean? Is this a brush-off?
Q. I met my online friend last week which was amazing after being friends for a year. We hit it off and ther was a real connection both of us very attracted to the other. He has messaged me everyday since and we both miss each other so much already....
A. 15 October 2014: I read it as" these feelings are becoming very intense and are making me ach for you." or I guess it could mean my feelings are becoming confusing since I already have a love. Wait to see how he responds.... (read in full...)
He's amazing but he does drugs. Am I being too fussy by finding it a deal breaker?
Q. I recently met a 30-year-old guy whom I hit it off really well with - he flirts with me heavily all the time and he is clearly a very kind person (he stopped to give an old lady change for the bus the other day because she couldn't find her purse - ...
A. 15 October 2014: Four letters; n,o,p,e...It's like saying well she's just a little bit pregnant. The deal breaker is a done deal now act on it and don't look back. he made his choice.... (read in full...)
She never got rid of the explicit pictures of her ex! Do I just throw them away or confront her?
Q. I have a question. My wife and I are together 7 years married for 5. When we moved in together she had some pictures of an ex boyfriend. I was fine with some of them but there was 1 where they were kissing and a few of him in various states o...
A. 15 October 2014: Do you have a fireplace? If so casually drop them in it the next time it's lit.... (read in full...)
How do I break up with this liar I love?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've met this guy ten months ago. He seemed like a decent individual. We took our time to get to know one another. We've been intimate approximately 6 times throughout the 10 months of dating. I've always been skeptical about ...
A. 15 October 2014: there is no here here, He sounds like a spooky old dude that could be trouble. Keep your distance.... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting about my boyfriend's comment?
Q. My boyfriend said something last night that has left me feeling insecure this morning so I would like other opinions on whether I'm overreacting and just take it as him being honest. We were talking last night about opposite sexes/physical ...
A. 15 October 2014: All men like a wavy haired red head so it was no big personal secret of his so let it go over your head as just one more silly thing that means didley squat in the overall scheme of things.... (read in full...)
Could it be men see hurt in my body language, and that's why I am still single?
Q. Dear Cupid,I really want to have a friend for the new year but no one seems to be looking my way if they are I can't tell.I have been single for many years about 13 and now I want companionship.I just turned 43 yesterday I feel and look young I ...
A. 15 October 2014: I suppose anything is possible but I wouldn't be able to recognize "hurt" in body language unless there were tears involved. You may just be too hesitant and timid in your demeanor? try confidence and raised head assurance.... (read in full...)
How can I introduce the idea to my wife, that I'd like to try a threesome, but with an extra guy, not an extra girl?
Q. My wife wants to have a threesome with another woman, she said it really turns her on just thinking about it, but I want to have a threesome involving another guy. I don't know how to bring it up. I'm really wanting to make it happen but I don't ...
A. 13 October 2014: Short answer, you don't try to have threesomes of any kind except in porn flicks. Forget it. It dosen't turn out well.... (read in full...)
Family secrets: The only two who were not told about the cheating? Myself and my son. How do I deal with their toxic actions?
Q. My husband had an affair with his sister in law. His older brother was 20 years older than her, they married because she was pregnant. He had another younger girl pregnant, but chose to marry ''C''. He never had contact with that child from the...
A. 13 October 2014: How quickly can you pack you things and get the heck out of this vipers nest. My word, I've never heard a more sordid family mess in my life. You need to escape while you can.... (read in full...)
Is this really a ''Guy thing,'' as my fiance implies? His remarks upset me.
Q. My question is for guys. When you're in a serious relationship do you look at girls and think in your head if you could get with them, or not, if you were single? My fiance and I have a baby together and we went out to lunch near his work and he s...
A. 13 October 2014: Yep, we do... It may be integrated with our hardwired evolutionary survival instincts OR, it could be because we think about sex most of the time and a pretty woman walking by reminds us of that. Who knows, those of us(men that is) keep our ... (read in full...)
My ex keeps on telling me how unhappy he is, yet he does nothing about it. How can I motivate him to do something about his unhappiness?
Q. I've been seeing my ex for about a year now. He is married after our breakup. Long story. Anyway he tells me how unhappy he is but still does nothing about it. I've asked him to fix things around my house but always has excuses. He did watch m...
A. 13 October 2014: Wh are you two seeing each other? He is probably stringing you along to get sympathy. This is a red flag to me. he is remembering your intamate moments and testing the waters to see how interested you may be to relive "old times". Danger-danger, ... (read in full...)
Have I overstepped the mark with my FWB ?
Q. Ok so yesterday I had sex with one of my friends (we have a kind of FWB thing going on). Afterwards we were chatting and I happened to mention that I had told my mum that I was revising at his house and that it was looking kind of suspicio...
A. 13 October 2014: It all sounds way too complicated this whole FWB thing no wonder I was destined to grow up in a more traditional society where you either screwed or you didn't Everything else was just "normal" day-to day living, no big time complications with gee ... (read in full...)
I decided to break up with her, but I have this crushing feeling that I need her in my life!
Q. Hey everybody, how's it going? I used to go on this site years ago when I was desperate for advice, and lately I've been finding myself feeling the same way - hopeless. I'm 21 years old and I just recently ended a relationship with my girlfrie...
A. 13 October 2014: You either need her in your life or you don't try taking a break from her for a month and see how it goes. Then you will know.maybe in that time frame she will find out she is not so needy too.... (read in full...)
Should I confront her about what was going on or wait for her to talk about it first?
Q. At the beginning of summer I talked to a friend of mine a lot and we started flirting. I couldn't really tell if it was that kind of joke flirting friends do with each other, but it was very real for me, and when I showed my best friend some of the ...
A. 13 October 2014: Oll it went on Twitter that makes it important..by allmeans do what you said and make the first move. Perhaps you could tweet or facebook. That will fix it all.... (read in full...)
What can I do? She is my very loyal LDR Gf. If I tell her how often I cheated she may breakup with me.
Q. Hi, in 2009 i was visiting my friend in another town so i met and she is a neigbour of my friend ,she gave me her numbers when i went home the same day i called her we talked suddenly the following day her phone was not working,so i thought like she ...
A. 13 October 2014: You are being n idiot and you seem to know it, what can anyone say? If you are looking for someone o tell you you are doing the right thing by messing around with everyone you can find with "round heels" I bet you won't find anyone here.... (read in full...)
I've lost my sex drive and I'm starting to resent him
Q. My sex drive has completely disappeared but my boyfriend still initiates sex every time I see him. I usually end up having sex (or at least using my mouth or hands) because I feel so awful for not wanting to, but I'm really starting to resent it. I ...
A. 13 October 2014: Hands and mouth will do fine for him. He'snot going to complain, This gives you plenty of time to consult with your doctor who can prescribe something for you and your "problem". He's a lucky man.... (read in full...)
Torn between my ex husband and the other guy. What should I do?
Q. I am torn between my ex husband and my new guy. Here is the story, My life overal was not too bad but I have been unhappy from some issues which my ex wouldn't do anything about it. The main issue was him being over passive and his family over ...
A. 13 October 2014: Hneypie tok the words rightout of my keyboard.... (read in full...)
Was it the drink or is he really a snob?
Q. Hi, I'm a bit confused by some actions of my boyfriend, we were visiting his family on the weekend, we all had a nice dinner a few drinks, and then went upto bed. We were having chit chat before sleep, and he said something like all Londoners ar...
A. 13 October 2014: Drink or no drink, I think he's just a bit stupid over all. To invite you over, then act like a jackass means he has no class. He can blame whatever or whomever for anything but the bottom line is never was taught how to act properly.... (read in full...)
Should I initiate some subtle moves to let my 41 year of Professor know I like him?
Q. Its kind of a winding story but I just feel I need objective opinions from people I dont know. I am a foreign graduate student at a very prestigious university in country A. I was fortunate enough to receive a scholarship to come and study here...
A. 12 October 2014: Youuu are not foolish. It may be shortsighted though. I would bet there are dozens of better choices around though. His "lingering ey contact" to me is a red flag of teacher flirting with student which never ends up in a good story.... (read in full...)
I have a lot of anger towards him. We both shout at each other a lot. How can this be resolved?
Q. My husband has been shouting at me and sometimes hitting me and calling me lots of names. I have put up with it, now I feel like a very angry person and I shout back at him a lot and I can not speak to him nicely and even when he tries to be nice ...
A. 12 October 2014: There is NEVER any reason to hit a woman unless she has just shot you in the head with a bullet. you need to belive in you and get away from this guy!... (read in full...)
Should I just get over the fact he kissed another girl while in a relationship with me?
Q. Things between my boyfriend and I haven't been the same since he admitted to kissing another girl while he was on a night out earlier in the year. He kissed her in April and told me in June. To be honest, I couldn't truly believe it was just a kiss ...
A. 12 October 2014: No, it's not just stupid because it was "just" a kiss. You "just" kiss your mom goodbuy and hello but you don't "just" kiss another girl. I think it's stupid all over the place. He's the stupidest of all. So later on in life, he's going to tell you ... (read in full...)
I can't get over my girlfriend not being a virgin!
Q. Hi, I have a serious problem that I don't know how to adress. Me and my girlfriend have known each other since we were in our teens. It's been about 8 years now that we've been friends. We've always gotten along great, been best friends and fel...
A. 10 October 2014: That would be akin to me finding out my wife had girl o girl sex when she was a teen. Big f'n deal. Drop the negative feelings about something you had no control over9I mean what if it had been a rape?) you are dwelling on you not her. Get over ... (read in full...)
Am I holding on to this marriage for nothing?
Q. I was 8 months pregnant with our third child when I found out my husband was cheating on me. We reconciled I though. After I had our daughter on his birthday 2 weeks later he left me and moved in with her ( He did support us financially the whole ...
A. 10 October 2014: What a cad, I'm so sorry for your pain. but the answer to your question is yep, you're try to blow airinto a baloon with a hole in it.... (read in full...)
This dream has me feeling so hurt! Why would I dream this?
Q. hi. i had a dream that my boyfriend wants to sleep with his ex girlfriend while in relationship with me.we have been together for about 6 years now. he tells me in the dream that it will be healthy for our relationship to explore in that way and he ...
A. 10 October 2014: From what I remember from reading Sigmond Freaud's books, the subconcious is in charge of dreams. Ergo, yoursubconcious is hold a grudge or doesn't trust the bf. The Ego and the Id have lots of exchanges in the brain overnight, so the Id might be ... (read in full...)
Are my doubts unfounded? He wanted to fly to Australia to visit a female friend!
Q. A few months ago my bf and I argued over him wanting to travel to Australia to visit a female friend. I felt extremely uncomfortable because 1) he refused to tell me what they would be doing there 2) I have never met this girl before 3) he wa...
A. 9 October 2014: As usual, Honeypie has figured your bf out.... (read in full...)
He completely refuses to call me pet names!
Q. My boyfriend refuses to call me pet names. I feel so unloved. Especially after sex. Does it mean he does not love me? I only asked him to do that after we make love. Not all the time but he refused. I feel put off having sex with him. Being ...
A. 9 October 2014: CindyCares is right,this guy is a freeloader getting sex for nuthin' The least he could do for it would be call you names like loser-babe or baby do-do heard. I've never heard of tis arrangement before. How does one get on board?... (read in full...)
Why do some people get ignored and not taken seriously in life, while others get preferential treatment and treated better?
Q. Why do some people get ignored and not taken seriously in life, while others get preferential treatment and treated better. I feel that I'm ignored by others and over looked. I know there is a problem somewhere in my interactions with others but ...
A. 9 October 2014: You are correct. The world is full of idiots. The trick to lie is to identify the idiots and avoid them.... (read in full...)
Why did she marry me if she had no attraction for me?
Q. Wife suddenly tells me she has no attraction towards me... According to her this has happened 2 years ago. She stayed on to hope things will improve. I am devastated. She never really pull up major quarrels with me till she drop this bomb ...
A. 9 October 2014: Maybe for money?If you have assets you should guard them as best you can or else she'll go after them. Srry to hear ofyour trouble but some women will do this and don't carebout the problems they cause. Good Luck.... (read in full...)
He moved in and I feel trapped! How do I handle this situation?
Q. My bf and I started dating about 4 months ago. We were in a LDR where we would see each other one weekend a month (we had a previous long distance friendship for about a year). One month ago he came to visit me... and since he has gotten a job in ...
A. 9 October 2014: I'd serve an eviction notice. He can't legally just stay there. You could call the authorities or you could just tell him to go home and if he doesn't then call the cops.... (read in full...)
Does this suppressing of feelings really work? Will she just eventually forget all about me?
Q. Does suppressing your feelings after a breakup really work? My ex of two years and I split up a few weeks back and since then, it has seemed she doesn't care at all. I seem to be the only one having a hard time. According to her, we are just coping ...
A. 9 October 2014: I don't think anyone really forgets their past 'lovers' Some can just deal with it better than others.... (read in full...)
My first date ever! How do I know what he's thinking and how to casually lay down my expectations?
Q. I need help on how to handle my situation: I'm going to a school dance for the first time with a date. I've never had a boyfriend or even a "thing" with anyone, so I'm kinda nervous. All I've ever had was a few crushes on some past guy friends...
A. 9 October 2014: Let's get rid of the pressure here. You don't have to like, love , or have feelings for your date. Just have a good time!... (read in full...)
Am I being silly expecting more time or at least once a week when I know how crazy his job is?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a few months he is 37 I am 32. But, We have been best friends for 17 years. We love each other very much. We talk all the time he calls, I call there is no issue there. I don't question that or even if he will ...
A. 9 October 2014: Three letter answer....Y...E....P, sounds silly to me... (read in full...)
He only lasts 3 minutes in bed so what did he do for 30 minutes with the prostitutes?
Q. I'm still suffering emotionally and mentally in finding out about my husband going to prostitutes across 2 years , he was visiting a brothel , he says he was going about 1 month and says we had problems , then he says that it's because he was ...
A. 9 October 2014: I'm told there is a minimum charge even if you just talk with one. He might have just been talking over his problem to a sypathetic ear.... (read in full...)
Why would a guy avoid saying your name?
Q. I've known this guy for a long time through friends, and I've noticed he never, or rarely, says my name. In a group setting he always refers to me in a group as "she", rather than my name. He'll say things like "what is SHE doing?", "I think it's ...
A. 9 October 2014: That is annoying, It's kind of like when my wife refers to me as "my husband" instead of my name. It's just a 'the way she was brung up' type thing but it doesn't fit in todays moras. It's akward and a little bit rude but I got used to it. Hope you ... (read in full...)
I don't think I am that much in love with him. Is it key to a happy marriage to be absolutely in love with your future spouse?
Q. The story of my life is that never ever a man who I was in love with and adored was in love with me back. Every time something starts and I feel incredibly in love, after awhile an interest in me fades. My boyfriend is a very nice man. He has...
A. 9 October 2014: Like the song goes,"what's love got to do with it?" You can be happily married for the rest of your life without love being introduced(in my humble opinion) Maraige is technically an agreement to take care of each other for as long as you live 'til ... (read in full...)
I'm really down over a family sex affair!
Q. I was working my normal Sunday shift and was able to get out early. When I came home I saw my sister in laws car parked in my driveway. I thought it was odd she was at our house,then thought it was probably my brother who was there. I went inside ...
A. 8 October 2014: What to do is file ASAP. The explosion has gone off now the dust has to settle and you have to get on with your life in a new way. It will be very hard but a year from now you will be in a better place.... (read in full...)
I'm still left wondering.... does he see a future for us?
Q. what does he want from me ?!?!? me and my partner have now been dating for nearly 4 years and its fair to say we have had our shares of ups and downs. but now I'm left wondering what is it he wants... a couple of weeks back he said tha...
A. 8 October 2014: You have described this guy well enough for me to know him. I can say with some certainty that he is not ready for ANY sort of commitment. If a guy is this wishy washy after this length of time he's got his future mapped out alright. Every day is ... (read in full...)
I'm still thinking of my ex even as I'm worried about developing feelings for my potential FWB! Advice?
Q. Hi! :) hey... I really need your advise on something that's been bothering me almost this whole year...I've asked people but most of them just brush my issue away,and advise me to just move on..but its not an easy thing to do...so please do help me ...
A. 7 October 2014: WiseOwlE is right on the money here, you're on the road to destruction tryto juggle two guys with different "titles" and different functions. One or the other is going to go down in flames but you'll be the one getting burned if you are not careful.... (read in full...)
Why is this guy's behavior so odd? Have I done anything wrong?
Q. There is a guy at work who behaves very odd around me. I've noticed that when I'm either speaking or just listening to a conversation in a group, he will stand off to the side, like he's avoiding the group. When I leave to take care of something he ...
A. 7 October 2014: Your first instinct is to wonder if it's something you did to create this paranoia? Loook some guys are just stupid and you cannot fix stupid. Trust me I know I've tried. Never try to teach a pig to sing, It's not possible and it annoys the pig.Odd ... (read in full...)
We want different things but I keep going back!
Q. I keep going back and forth with my ex. Every time I say I'm done, boom, a few weeks later I'm back at his apartment. He has told me that he does not want a relationship right now and isn't ready to get back together. He claims needs to figure out ...
A. 7 October 2014: Though you may try with best intentions in hand there is never a garutee there will be sucsess if the recipient fails to cooperate. There's some quote in the Bible about casting pearls before swine. Not that he is swine, I don't mean that. It is ... (read in full...)
They all lose interest after I sleep with them
Q. I have been trying to meet someone to have a relationship with for quite a while now. I don't have any problems meeting men both online and in real time; however when ever I do start seeing someone I find attractive and seem to get on well with it ...
A. 7 October 2014: There are dozens of reason for un-coupling after a sexual rlationship; To namea few: He was married and is now feeling guilty, he didn't enjoy it all that much, he couldn't make you cum, etc. etc.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spends more time with his ex than he does with me!
Q. My boyfriend has been spending a lot of time with his ex girlfriend. This has been going on since they split up a year ago. I tried to be tolerant of the situation as I didn't want to control his life. I did however bring it up with him once an...
A. 7 October 2014: H's a news flash, they never splt up. Go on to greener pastures he's hung up on her and not you.... (read in full...)
| *lderthandirt's friends
These are mutual friends, so *lderthandirt has
added them and they have added *lderthandirt!
|
