A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, I need some ideas on how to keep the chemistry going with a guy I've started talking to. We met online about a month ago and instantly clicked; talking on the phone about any and everything everyday, which I never thought I'd have the patience for. I feel we've made a genuine connection and have both agreed from the beginning to see where this takes us. A couple of weeks into our phone conversations, we had our first date. It was short and sweet because at the time, our work schedules would conflict and that night he had to be up for work in a few hours. Besides that, we live in neighboring states from each other. Throughout the whole date, he was a gentlemen in every way but was not shy in showing how attracted he was to me lol. He held my hand most of the night, he even kept gazing into my eyes telling me how beautiful I was. It was intense! (I've learned that to be just his personality) I didn't mind it so much, I just wasn't use to it. Anyway, although that was the only date we had gone on, we continued to talk everyday and signs of interest were still being shown on both sides. Recently, about a couple of days ago, we had talked earlier during the day as usual and he said he would call me back later on to finish an interesting topic we had been discussing. We sent random texts for a bit after that and then they stopped. He didn't call back either so I reached out to him, no answer. The following day, he sends a text saying last night turned pretty bad for him. I got really worried and hoped it wasn't anything too serious, yet all I said back was "ok, I'm here if you want to talk about it, hope whatever it is makes a turn for the better. " I didn't want to be nosy or invasive because we're still getting to know each other. Not long after I sent that to him, he calls me letting me know that he had lost his job that night and it was really hurting him. All I could be was a listening ear while he vented, occasionally offering words of support. We ended the night on a more light hearted note, with him feeling more confident about him beginning his job search the next day. I even got a text during the day saying he already landed an interview. I was really happy for him and may have gone overboard on the encouragement texts (I can be a real cheerleader sometimes lol) and didn't really get a response back. Again, tried to call him, no answer. I knew he was going through something but to be flat out ignored?! I was frustrated. Two days went by, the frustration just grew. Finally he calls me and apologizes for not responding and admitted that he's still really bummed about his situation, his ego took a beating and he's embarrassed that I have to see him go through this. I asked him if he wanted me to give him time to deal with this and he said yeah, just until he can get back on his feet. It stung a little but I can't be upset about it because I did ask. He promised he would still keep in touch and that I'd here from him periodically which I have. He'll be so sweet as to call and ask about my day and make sure sure my voice is the last he hears. All of this makes me want to stick around all the more to really see where this thing goes. My question to you all is, in what ways can I keep this going and show that I'm still interested while respecting his wishes for space? Thank you all for reading and responding in advance!
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lost his job, met online, needs space, period, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 November 2014):
 Men (in general) are very tied to their jobs and losing a job is a huge huge ego blow. it invades EVERYTHING in their lives.
So here he is trying to win and woo you and look like the BMOC and he goes and gets his ass handed to him and he is sent head over heels with this huge HUGE event. A JOB LOSS is HUGE.
he knows you are there... you've told him.
give him space... he'll come to you when he is ready. DO NOT baby him... do not keep offering... just sit back and let him come to you when he's ready.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 November 2014):
 Typically, when a guy says he needs his space to do whatever..it means "I feel like you are smothering me right now and I can't handle it any more so cool it(like gwet away!) in this case, he may have needed a respite but still wants a bit more of your attention later. Hard to tell since there's a limited amout of info to go on. Good Luck
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