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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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My boyfriend isn't bothered by keeping me waiting.
Q. I will keep this short. My boyfriend does not see anything wrong with keeping me waiting. I will say "I can be to your house at 7, does that sound good"?He will say yes and a lot of the time when I get there he is just getting in the shower. He ...
A. 15 December 2014: Never try to teach a pig to sing, it's a waste of your time and it anoys the pig. You my young friend have discovered a thoughtless inconsiderate clod and have mistaken him for a boyfriend. He is a nitwit and is worthy of see you leaving in a cloud ... (read in full...)
I feel horrible knowing he's been watching porn
Q. I have a problem whereby I feel absolutely horrible knowing my husband has been watching porn one night and then has sex with me the next. I can't help feel that he is thinking of the women he watched and came to . Last night we had sex and I was ...
A. 14 December 2014: That's just it. It's like you said. 'I'm just imaging" The imagination knows no bounds so you and no one else will ever know what your partner is thinking so give yourself a vacation from stress and don't fret about it.... (read in full...)
We bought a home together. Now she's taken up with a new guy and kicked me out of our home. How can I convince her that I'm not the ''controlling'' one?
Q. I have lived with this girl for 3 years. She recently started talking to some other guy and left me. The problem is im pretty sure she is being manipulated. This guy kicked me out of the house we bought together and controlls who she talks to. Ever...
A. 10 December 2014: Real Estate Rule # 1...Never buy a property with someone otherhan a legal spouse.... (read in full...)
How much angry behavior is too much?
Q. How far is too far? My husband got really mad this morning. I'm a house wife and I'll admit I'm not the best at keeping up with everything. I had two loads of laundry in baskets on the floor this morning. I had folded one load and just needed ...
A. 10 December 2014: Real men don't throw hissey fits. They get mad and tell yiou why they're mad so that a solution can be found. Irration behaviour can be a sign of deeper problems. You should do two things at the same time. ry to find out gently what the REAL problem ... (read in full...)
Can you change a bad boy?
Q. Dear cupid, i just want to understand this. Is it possible to change a bad boy. Like he drinks a lot and has two kids with two different woman, he owns his own business and has lots of friend who they enjoy top life.ive seen all this on his facebook ...
A. 8 December 2014: Yea, he'll change...He'll become a bad man and abusive father. You are wasting your time... Never try to teach a pig to sing, it can't happen and it just annoys the pig.... (read in full...)
Why does my ex keep asking about who I might be dating?
Q. Ex, who is now married and I'm sleeping with (not proud of this), keeps asking me about who I'm dating. Why is he asking me this? Why does he even care to know? When I ask him, he changes the subject. He doesn't want a relationship with me again, ...
A. 8 December 2014: Wants to be sure it's no one he or his wife knows sothat your secrets remain secrets I suspect. i also predict(I know you didn't ask but here goes anyway) i predict this little trist will ultimately blow up into a full-blown Problem because it's ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else had second thoughts about getting married?
Q. I am 20 and my fiancé is 23. We have been dating for 4 years (so since I was 16). We are both in college and about to be finishing up. We are set to get married in 6 months. However, I'm feeling doubtful. He is the most respectful, loving, caring ...
A. 8 December 2014: It's normal to have "cold feet" but to me it sounds like you have serious doubts...talk with the preacher and your mate to be.... (read in full...)
Why am I never good enough for more than dating or them wanting sex?!?
Q. Why am I never good enough for more than dating or them wanting sex?!? They don't get the goodies, but that seems to be the only thing men want from me. I'm an attractive woman and get told this many many times by men and women alike. I'm good-...
A. 8 December 2014: Relationships 101;
A, He always wants sex
B, If you don't, don't date
C, If you do but not with him,break up
D, If you want a really nice guy that doesn't want to bother you,date a gay guy.
Sorry...but it's not fair and guys are not what yo... (read in full...)
My husband slept with his cousin before we married and I can't get over it!
Q. My husband slept with he's cousin before we got together. she doesn't live in the same state as us.but when she comes down we obviously run into her seens she part of the family i don't like being around her or even the thought that she slept with ...
A. 8 December 2014: I can't say I blame you for your feelings that is a vrystrange i to be sure.All you cy to do is place the"event" in a box(a mental excersise)nd move forward. By tting awd memories in little "brain cell boxes". Almost any sort of memory can be delt ... (read in full...)
I am always scared that my boyfriend will fall in love with someone else, cheat on me, or break up with me.
Q. Hi, I'm a very anxious person when it comes to relationships and I still haven't found a way to fix it. When I'm in a relationship, I get very worried about my boyfriend crushing on other girls or cheating or just breaking up with me. I think it...
A. 8 December 2014: Take dep breaths and remember the last time he said, "I love you" If you believed it, relive that moment then repeat. Relax. Life is too short to worry over things that might happen.... (read in full...)
Should I confront him,or not?
Q. Just looking for abit of advice in coming up to 3 months pregnant with my fiance's baby but i keep finding that he secretly is masturbating over his supposed to be old crushes photos on Facebook ,his also friends with her and have found out his ...
A. 7 December 2014: Ialways look to see if there's an "upside' to a confrontation before I create one. If you think a confrontation will make you feel better by venting your problem with him masturbating then by all means vent away. My guess is he will continue to ... (read in full...)
Asked out by 2 men but who do I choose and how do I let the other down gently `
Q. i dont know what to do , i asked a question about letting a guy down because he missed his chance he was taking too long to if he wanted to date me but then i suddenly met a new guy who wants to date me and we are arranging a time to see each other ...
A. 7 December 2014: Lucky You!...There's one good way (don'tknow how gentle it is but it's truthfull,therefore good) Just say,"I already have a date for that calandar date how about another time?... (read in full...)
He's missed his chance, but I'd like to let him down gently, how do I word it?
Q. theres a guy i went on a date with hes very shy and so am i, he said he is thinking about us starting a relationship but hes taking too long (2 month) and ive now met someone else who knows what he wants how do i break it to the other guy hes ...
A. 7 December 2014: Lucky for him he's not had time to fall in love so, it will be easy. All you need to say is something like; dear(John-or whatever) I had a great time on our date however, it wouldn't be fair to you to continue our budding relationship as my heart ... (read in full...)
I love him but am terrified that marriage with him might not work!
Q. I love my boyfriend dearly. We've been dating 1.5 years. But, we have totally different personalities. I am very friendly, outgoing, love to get out and do stuff. I run and hike several times a week. I am very affectionate with him. Sometimes I...
A. 7 December 2014: Your instincts are working overtime and telling you that the decisions being made now that will effect the rest of your life are in question. Listen to your instincts they are what save your life in stressfull situations. I'd suggest as a minimum ... (read in full...)
I'm 31, moved back home and my mom is driving me crazy
Q. I'm 31 I moved out of my parents house for a little over a year to live with my ex bf. He cheated on me we broke up and I met my current bf, my lease was up so I decided to move back home. My mom has never stopped treating me the same way when I ...
A. 6 December 2014: Honeypie has this one nailed"... (read in full...)
He likes me or is it just sex?
Q. Dear cupid i have this friend who is also my crush today in class him and i were flirting laughing and having basicly a flirtationship i really want to get to higher things and hopefully us becoming a thing but when class was over he handed me a ...
A. 6 December 2014: Good for you. He sounds like a guy that thinks he is "all that" anyway so you'd be wise to pass on him. If some dude thinks he is so darned attractive that he can asume the girls are just standing in line to hit the sack with him then he's not worth ... (read in full...)
Why are the men in porn so average whereas the women are usually very attractive?
Q. Why are the men in porn so average whereas the women are usually very attractive? My SO and I watch some porn and it seems that in the vast majority the women are outstandingly attractive whereas the men are, very often, borderline ugly. This leav...
A. 6 December 2014: Porn is the ultimate "non-reality" The women are good looking so as to make it appear that even the pretty ones actually LOVE having wild sex when the sad reality is women (pretty or not) hate to do the fantasy acts seen.The guys are hired for one ... (read in full...)
Broke up yet.... Is sending him the Christmas gift a good idea, considering that we haven't spoken since the fight?
Q. I bought this guy that i was seeing a Christmas gift a few weeks before we got into a huge fight. Things were left badly where he blamed me for things that weren't my fault, and still blames me for something that i did almost a year ago. (i wrote...
A. 6 December 2014: Do Not stir the pot...The intent of the gift will be misread by him and he'll see it as a reason to "get back together'... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and have questions about sex help??
Q. Hello all, I would like some (kind please!) advice for my situation. Starting off, I have been with my boyfriend for a little less than a year and we're saving ourselves for marriage (yes we do intend to marry each other in the future). I am still a ...
A. 5 December 2014: Chigirl is a true champ on this one. I just wanted to chime in and say how much I respect a young lady like you approaching this very delicate subject in such a mature and thoughtfull way. You can likely look forward to a very successful and ... (read in full...)
Mum says he is annoying me because he's trying to get my attention, is she right?
Q. there is this guy in my class who constantly teases me and tries to annoy me by touchimg my hair coz he know it annoys me. we sit near eachother in class coz the teacher put us near eachother. him and his friends make fun of me coz im english and ...
A. 5 December 2014: Your mother is always right but especially in this case. Boys at that age are desperatly inarticulate and only know the crude-like actions of a young chimp. I know cuz I were one.... (read in full...)
Why do guys like what they can't have?
Q. Why do guys like pictures of models and half naked women on the internet that they have no chance in being with? Almost every guy I know does this. Some say that they just view them as eye candy and have no respect for them, yet it seems hypocri...
A. 5 December 2014: It's all about the fantasy..we know we'll never get the perfect BJ either but one can dream.... (read in full...)
Why do men treat good women bad?
Q. So I'm going to give some background before I ask my question. I have been dating this guy for a year now and he has told me that he has gotten cheated on mutiple times before and used by females because of his generosity and kindness to buy females ...
A. 4 December 2014: My honest answer is it comes from his dad. Examine the father and you will know the son. My dad taught me to respect women above all things and you'll have a happy life. He was right!... (read in full...)
I don't want to be pushy but I want my boyfriend to stop smoking!
Q. When I started dating my boyfriend, I knew he smoked in the past but had quit. Now, he has started smoking again. I lost my uncle to smoking so I am not ok with smoking at all. Plus it smells! He doesn't go through a pack a day or anything, but it ...
A. 4 December 2014: An ultimatum is needed like the one sageoldguy sugests. I regrt not quiing 30 years ago when I sill could. Now that a stroke(from smoking0 took me down 20 years ago, my wife has to drive us everywhere. It's a hard habit to quit and he will suffer ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend’s Past Sex Life Bothers Me
Q. I love my boyfriend and I know he loves me, things are pretty good between us. We are like perfect together and I trust him with all my heart which is really hard since I've been hurt really bad by my ex. We both agreed not to talk about his sexual ...
A. 4 December 2014: My oput is tht Chigirl has more common sense than most others and if I were you i'd read her response two or three times then take a deep breath and rethink the entire issue. Take a look at the one with the problem(you) and figure out why there's a ... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend's feelings for me become stronger now that he's finally had an orgasm?
Q. Okay sooo, I made my man cum for the first time ever in life from fellatio . We hav been together now for 6 years and not once could I. He's told me that was his first time cumming this way . Will this change his feelings more now in a g...
A. 3 December 2014: Yep you are now etched in his brain as the best thing that ever happened to him! There will NEVER be any one that can take that place in his brain.... (read in full...)
I've become that "once a week" girl and don't know what to do? I've tried cutting ties before. Do I express what I feel?
Q. I've known this man for a year. In the first 5 months he would contact daily, see me as often as he could, do huge romantic gestures. He even told me once I gave him "too much space". 6 months pass and we had a falling out that left him embarra...
A. 30 November 2014: And another Facebook dilema? If you all would use the telephone or go face to face once in a while there would be fewer questions as to WTF stuff.... (read in full...)
How can I make being on top work?
Q. Hi, I have this problem: My boyfriend loves me on top. I don't like it. I get tired and can't orgasm from it - I never had problems achieving multiple orgasms, but when I go that road my whole body spasms and I need him to "carry me through". When ...
A. 27 November 2014: tleanibg back on your elbows and moving the hips up and down so his tip rubs the G spot. works for us.... (read in full...)
Is it inappropriate to ask a guy to take an STD and HIV test before we date?
Q. Dear Cupid, I haven't dated in a long time but I decided if I should date again would I be wrong to bring up front about taking STD and HIV test.My health is in great condition and I want the same for the new guy.Thanks ...
A. 25 November 2014: eryone is right..To make a test a prerequisite to dating is like saying; "Hey, I want to have sex with you on our daste BUT first you gotta prove you're "clean' before you get any of this!" Sound weird? I guess so. Proceed with caution. Trust but ... (read in full...)
Extreme jealousy- Do I need help?
Q. I've been having trouble with extreme jealousy in my relationship which is gradually getting worse. It's mainly things like when I'm watching TV with my boyfriend, and something remotely sexual appears (e.g a naked woman or something even as normal ...
A. 25 November 2014: You sound typically "normal" to me I think most young relationships harbor these feelings for quite a while. Both parties are relatively unsure of just how depply the other feels about things and it's part of the "getting to know you" process. Once ... (read in full...)
What word choice can I use while talking to my son about his father without really saying what my heart should say?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need some advice on my son's relationship with his father this man has never ever been in his life now that he is grown he still dont have much of a relationship with his son.How do I bring up the conversation with my son about his ...
A. 23 November 2014: sad situation, all too common. Tell him to go seek out his dad when he feels ready but provide no personal opinions beforehand.... (read in full...)
Just friendly, or interested?
Q. I've been texting my guy friend everyday for almost 2 months now. He tells me good morning everyday and he's always saying all he wants is for me to be happy. Lately he's been sending me funny pictures/jokes to make me laugh as well. Just confused ...
A. 22 November 2014: I don't know sometng sounds bit wanky to me. To beonest it sounds like a movie where the girl is being stalked. I could be wrong but keep up your guard.... (read in full...)
My wife wants all the details of my past relationships
Q. i have a problem, now i am married i love my wife,i never hurt her feelings.i never lie to her,but i had an ex girlfriend, i had mentioned about our relation to my wife.Now my wife wants to know what kind of relation did i had with her, like love ...
A. 22 November 2014: She sounds insecure. I wouldn't read a whole lot into this. She may be going through a very unstable time and wants to know you will never leaver her. Try to tenderlapproach the subject with her about the past and tell her it would only be hurtfull ... (read in full...)
Decode this Text PLEASE!
Q. What does this mean Help! I text him after a couple of days of no communication. I asked him how he was and he wrote back "Super Busy" I text back "ok and he responded back fast by saying "Please don't read into this I am super busy" seeing him for ...
A. 22 November 2014: The most obvious meaning is; "Can't talk(text back) right now buI'll catch you ater." He could have been on the phone or on the pot. No big deal.... (read in full...)
How can I tell in advance if a threesome will mess things up?
Q. I'm unsure about whether or not to have a threesome (ffm) with my boyfriend. We have a solid relationship. Used to have some issues but we've worked through them. I know he would love to have one and I'm not closed off to the idea at all, I think it ...
A. 22 November 2014: Your instincts are yelling at you, that's why you even ask the question. Follow your instincts. they are telling you "Nothing good will come of this other than a few moments of excitement..Big Deal! Don't do it. You will live a lifetime of regrets ... (read in full...)
I'm shattered, horrified,torn apart because my daughter just told me she's a bisexual
Q. Hi, I'm shattered, torn apart. I can't seem to function. Just caught my daughter kissing a girl. Horrified, livid. I can't seem to accept my 16 yr old daughter telling me she is bisexual. I'm still 2 days later so angry wth her, calling her so ...
A. 21 November 2014: mystick is right... (read in full...)
We have a great sexual relationship but she will not touch me below the belt!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year we have a great relationship we started out as best friends grew into a sexual relationship, talking about marriage kids I will 9 yards. Let me start by saying I'm 34 years old she's 10 years my ...
A. 21 November 2014: Some girls (and I knew one) have been so masterfully brainwashed by their mothers that "the male body is so single-mided that it can't be satisfied until it either impregnates you with that slimey sperm that erupts everywhere OR until IT gives you a ... (read in full...)
My wife treats and speaks to me as though I am incompetent!
Q. My wife of 1 1/2 years treats and speaks to me as though I am incompetent and unable to make the "right" decision. I am almost 62 years old and have managed to take of matters just fine all this time. My wife has a different and more stressful ...
A. 21 November 2014: Well, Join the club! I had a stroke in '94 and ever since then SHE thinks I've got no brain. Oh well, I just decided to out live her to really piss her off.... (read in full...)
Is he scared to get close or not interested?
Q. Seeing someone I can't read. It's frustrating. He got jealous when he heard a guy was interested in me and kept bringing it up. Then all of sudden he started to mention a girl that he saw was hot. He acts like he doesn't like me other times then ...
A. 20 November 2014: Honeypie has him pegged.Sounds like 30 going on 12 to me.... (read in full...)
Would telling him I'm going on a date with someone get his attention?
Q. theres a guy i like and would love it if he asked me out but i need to get his attention first. we are friends he said he liked me before but didnt do anything about it we do fun friend flirting that doesnt mean anything asfar as i know ,im too ...
A. 19 November 2014: Wo all that trouble and just ask the poor guy out? He's probably just shy and you trying to trick him will just nail the door shut.... (read in full...)
Why would he change his FB status? Could we be friends? I'm so confused!
Q. So almost seven months ago, around easter I broke up with my ex because our relationship had too many people involved trying to cause problems on top of us already having our own. He then randomly messaged me in august just saying sup? I tried to be ...
A. 18 November 2014: I'd like to add to what Honeypie has offered. she is wise so follow her advice,AND get of of FB once and for all. It will drive you nuts trying to figure out why people do or say stuff. THe anxiety created with FB is way too heavy a load for you to ... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem to understand that I can't text at work! How can I make it sink it?
Q. Is there any way I can stop my man being so needy? I love him to bits and he is everything I want in a partner but he's very clingy and dependant on me which is really starting to annoy me. He texts me all day every day. At his job he can. At my job ...
A. 18 November 2014: Youjustneed to say to him, not text him; "look, if I get caught sending a text from my work place, I could get fired so if I don't get back to you right away, it's because Ican't not because I don't want to." If he can't understand that maybe you ... (read in full...)
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