A
male
age
30-35,
*ightea
writes:Hello everyone, I've been dating my girl friend for the past 8 months now and it was all going we l when it all started, she'll text me always and call too but Now I believe that I love her more than she does because , I don't get any affection from her at all, she doesn't reply the sweet text messages I'll send her, she'll never tell me she misses me, and so many stuffs girls do to their boyfriends, I don't know what else to do because most of the times i always feel that she doesn't care about me or love me like before , she wouldn't even start a chat with me on fb except i do even though we're both online , most of the time I'll think that shes busy chatting with other guys......I've talked to her about it and she the only thing she'll always tell me is that she really loves me but she doesn't know how to show it, I'm really confused because showing her love should be the easiest thing on earth if she truly loves me , Am I wrong ?...I always tell her my feelings all the time but she has never told me hers. The truth is that I don't know how long I'll endure this hurt. I feel that its only a matter of time that I'll stop hurting and I wont care anymore , I don't want this to happen because I really love her and she's the type of girl i want to marry,, I've been thinking about this a lot and right now its affecting me psychologically, I feel miserable all the time because I dont get any slight affection from someone I been showering with Love and Affection 24/7, . I'm scared I'll lose her sooner or later
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female
reader, missy_25  +, writes (12 November 2014):
you should read about 5 languages of love. Maybe you and her just show love in a whole different way. figure out which one it is (Like your style is words of affirmation and maybe thats what you want to be shown too, it could be quality time as your receiving languaget etc.). You can show her the best way by then but they have a point, she may need some space. I know that smothering me with too much affection makes me want to ask for more space from my partner.Here goes:Emotional Love Languages:1) Words of AffirmationThis is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate's self image and confidence.2) Quality TimeSome spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner's love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention.3) GiftsIt is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don't have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.4) Acts of ServiceDiscovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, hanging a bird feeder, planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.5) Physical TouchSometimes just stroking your spouse's back, holding hands, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 November 2014):
 Is a very real possibility that you are smothering her with too much love and affection. Try backing off for a while then restarting at a more liesurly pace. No one likes being smothered up and made to feel clostraphibic in a relationship. Deep breaths. Relax. Your paranoi shows through makes you look weak to others.
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A
female
reader, babalou  +, writes (11 November 2014):
 The best thing to do in this situation is to express how you feel about her not showing the kind of affection you need to feel love. I am the same as your girlfriend. While I can't be sure of the reason she acts this way, I am a lot less affectionate towards my boyfriend than he is towards me. I am not very good at expressing my feelings through sweet words but I do manage to make small gestures to show that I really care. There was a time when my boyfriend felt the same way as you do because we are long distance and he would always be the one to initiate contact but this was because I was always available to talk and our communication depended on his schedule. I always woke up before him and my day ended before his did so I would always be the one waiting for him to contact me when he was free. I'm not sure of your situation but that is how it was for me, but he didn't see it that way and thought I wasn't interested in talking to him. Tell her the way you feel and encourage her be more open and comfortable with expressing her love for you outwardly because it is something that you need. Encourage her to send you messages when she wants to talk, even if she might think that you are busy. Tell her some things you would like to see happen, some things she could do to make you feel special and that you are the one she loves.
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