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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Do I tell Friend A what is going on? What about Friend B's partner?
Q. I'm a pretty liberal person, so am not trying to be the morality police, but am worried about my friends and am being burdened by this knowledge. One of my friends (Friend A) has been in a casual but exclusive relationship since January, with th...
A. 26 October 2014: Which friend do you value more/ that should be a hint as to who not to tell. THEN, try to put yourself in each of their shoes and see what the upside to knowledge of A and B's wierd behaviour becoming common knowledge. Will there be gunshots? and ... (read in full...)
Due to my health issues, are there any devices that would allow my husband to enjoy and receive the best blow job?
Q. My husband and I are high school sweet hearts. hey been together for 20 years and married for over 15! We've always had a good sex life and I've always enjoyed oral sex and he has too!!! However; due to a severe case of TMJ (jaw joint issues...
A. 26 October 2014: What a woman, Your husband is a VERY lucky man!... (read in full...)
He's abusive. Why do I take him back, even though I know he is not good for me?
Q. Dear Cupid Where do I start? I was with my ex was 4 years. Earlier it used be fun, for past few months the verbal emotional abuse is more than I can take. He withdraws affection and love. Makes me beg with him to even talk to me, at last talks to...
A. 26 October 2014: There are women that will return time after time to abusive relationships much worse than yours. Women who have been raped, beaten and even shot will go back into relationship over and over and do not know how to stop. It's a very old problem.... (read in full...)
My husband is being secretive with his cell phone and is not affectionate any more
Q. I am a lady aged 41, my husband is 44,being together for5 years now,our relationship was perfect the past 3 yrs,but now he is secretive especially on his cellphone,he can't even put it down when he goes out or to bathroom, when he charges it, is ...
A. 25 October 2014: Preliminary evidence is weak at best to just assume he's messing around or anything so I wouldn't get too concerned. The lack of hugs and kisses is not unusual either. We men are just not all that way unless it's very early on in a relationship and ... (read in full...)
I'm worried my lack of sexual experience will drive my boyfriend away
Q. I am 43 and have had a few boyfrineds but it never lasted so am a virgin at 43 and all my life i was a carer for my parents and never went out, since they died i have tried to meet new people but find it hard until i met somebody that is 15 years ...
A. 25 October 2014: Trust me, Once he finds out you're a virgin he will be thrilled and will love you even more than now. You are a rare find and men are in awe of women like you.No worries!... (read in full...)
I was drunk and punched my boyfriend in front of his co-workers. Now he's telling me to come get my things!
Q. My boyfriend is a senior managering director in a company with 750 workers and met me at a social event that my company went to and i work in a factory making pies and at another event i got what you would say had far too many drinks and he did not ...
A. 25 October 2014: Pack up and move on in your life..Next time try to control yourself.... (read in full...)
Should I de-value myself and have sex with someone who doesn't respect me just because I need sex right now?
Q. A guy and I had agreed to have casual sex before the holidays. We agreed on coffee first to get to know each other, a sleepover to somewhat test compatibility, then sex. A lot of it. He wants to keep it monogamous, and the order of this was his idea ...
A. 25 October 2014: You need to respect yourself above all else. he probably won't respect you no matter what you do so it's a moot point. You do what'sright for you. To heck with him.... (read in full...)
Dating a coworker that cheated on his gf, will we last????
Q. I just started dating a coworker, he is 8 years older then me. He was in a relationship with someone he lived with for over a year. He wasn't happy and we started talking and flirting and it lead to more. We got really close. Well one night out we ...
A. 25 October 2014: The traditional "old school"advice is; Never date a coworker and number 2, never have a relationship with someone who was just caught cheating. I think 'old school' might just be a path to follow in ths new age of complex dating rituals.... (read in full...)
Should he still be friends with her on Facebook?
Q. I just found out my boyfriend is friends on Facebook with a girl he had a one night stand with while we were split up for a period last year. It probably shouldn't be a big deal but she just commented on his status and it really bothered me. It gave ...
A. 24 October 2014: No, he should not . but I don't see FB as a placeto be anything on anyway. best left to the kiddos.... (read in full...)
How do I get out of my depressed slump?
Q. I’ve been feeling so shitty lately. I feel very inadequate in who I am and in everything I do. It’s like no matter what I do, No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be good enough. I'm not the smartest, the wittiest, the funniest, or the most ...
A. 24 October 2014: The best way to 'reset' your mental status is via excercise. It might sound too simple to e true but if you get up and say, Jog to a park and back everyday or even every oth day. Or, ride a few miles a dayon a bike.your mental ll beig will side ... (read in full...)
My friend/room mate doesn't like my boyfriend
Q. hey guys, I'm having troubles with my roommate. She has been a best friend of mine for about 5 years. recently we decided to rent an apartment together. Everything is ok except for she hates my boyfriend of who i have been dating for 2 years. ...
A. 24 October 2014: Newsflash, Room mates don't have any say so about who you date! UNless he stays over a lot and is a pig or hits on her(that would be redundant).... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to try a position I don't and won't take no for an answer!
Q. *contains sexual content* hey there aunts and uncles, Ok so im in a happy loving relationship me andy partner are very sexually experimental .. outdoors .. toys .. role play ... dress up .. he has had 2 previous partners one at age 14 an...
A. 24 October 2014: O, here's what you say..."Yeah sure we'll try it again as soon as you stuff a baseball bat up your bung and tell me how great it feels."... (read in full...)
Can someone explain to me what goes through his mind when he decides to go speak to me?
Q. Hello dear Aunts and Uncles, I hope I can keep my question short, simple and to the point. I've been in a happy relationship for quite some time and so is this other guy (presumably) I've known for many years. before any of us were into our...
A. 24 October 2014: Akward is a good word for his actions in a professional environment. In a looser environment and with the edge taken off by a drink or two some free flow of ideas,words and actions can either make things even more akward or be flirtatious. i believe ... (read in full...)
I turned down their job offer -- how do I ask them to consider me again?
Q. I am an overseas contract worker that has been placed in an assignment with a work environment/living that is stressful/hazardous to my health. Recently, I broke out in in hives. I would like to find another assignment however, this is not hiring ...
A. 24 October 2014: What I would do(not that it would work) I'd write a letter requesting they reconsider you now that your prior issues are resolved.... (read in full...)
I no longer fancy my wife
Q. Hi all, I am in my 50's been married 25 years got two great kids , grown up, mootgage payed blah blah but just hate my life My wife does a lot, cook, wash, iron that's it, a housemaid She is lazy, layback, won't communicate with me. My life is c...
A. 23 October 2014: Yep, the "plot" has been lost forever. You two need a break from one another. A looooong break.... (read in full...)
Is there anything that can be done to increase the friction when my wife and I have sex?
Q. I am a married male in my early 40s. When my wife and I have sex she gets so wet and slippery that after a while there is almost no friction. The other night I couldn't even feel anything to the extent that I lost my erection. I had to pull out ...
A. 23 October 2014: cng the angle of penetration can do wonders for that 'problem" Experiment with different positions until you find one that you both like.... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to be mad at her for reading my diary?
Q. So i have this friend who i was really close to but now she has done something that i don't think i can forgive her for. We are both holiday reps working abroad and for the last six months we have shared an apartment. She has always been my best ...
A. 23 October 2014: Of course you have a right to be upset. A person's diary is sacred ground, not to be invaded. I have two sisters, growing up, I knew to never ever read their diaries. they would have killed me. If not them, my parents would have. Hey, that's just ... (read in full...)
I think my friend is trying to get pregnant by another friend of mine without him knowing -- do I tell him?
Q. Hi people, Im in a very very awkward situation and any help would be greatly greatly appreciated!! (everyone is 22 Y/O) A little background: My friend who I will call Jane and I hav been friends for a little over 6 years. She and her Boyfrie...
A. 23 October 2014: If she didn't say,"now don't tell anyone" then it's not a secret so you're not betraying a confidence and if you feel it would be of a positve value to pass it on then by all means, tell your friend. Oh the webs that we weave!... (read in full...)
I'm starting to feel like my boyfriend is subtly criticising me all the time and it's tiring me out.
Q. I'm starting to feel like my boyfriend is subtly criticising me all the time and it's tiring me out. It's never anything obvious, but he'll make small remarks all the time that I've started to notice. For example, he will ask me where all of my ...
A. 23 October 2014: Sorry, I had to chucle at the "tiring me out" comment. It can be exhausting dealing with people like that. Folks that feel inferior and are fighting an inferiority complex of their own spend their whole life trying to berate others so as to make ... (read in full...)
Is this a normal part of aging for men?
Q. My spouse is a few years older. We have an active sex life, but however, there are times that he has a hard time reaching an orgasm. Is this a normal part of aging for men? Is there any lubricant or any recommendation that will assist him in ...
A. 23 October 2014: Orgasms become less frequent in our 'sunset years" the prostate gland creates havoc. It gets larger making frequent urination a problem AND it produces less semen than ever before so there's no pressing urge toejaculate something that's not there. ... (read in full...)
Cheating boyfriend?
Q. Me and my boyfriend known each other for 10 years but have been together romantically for the last year. A few weeks ago I noticed he had been sending sexual messages to another girl over skype; when I called him up on it he broke down in tears, ...
A. 22 October 2014: He's in perpetual denial...there's no cure! Find someone more monogomous.... (read in full...)
How do I accept that I'm in a sexless relationship?
Q. It bothers me when my guy watches porn and gets himself off. Why? Because he will do it just before I get home, right after I leave, when he thinks I'm sleeping and I am always ready and willing. In the last 5 months we have had sex 5 times. I've ...
A. 22 October 2014: The quantity of bjs is not relevant to anything unless there's a survey...it's the quality of said bj. if you're not into it why should he be? and the 'obligation' to accept a sexless relationship does not exist. Go find a more willing partner.... (read in full...)
Can soul mates find each other at such a young age?
Q. Hi there people, I was just wondering is it possible to meet your soul mate in school. I have been with my boyfriend 7 years (since we were 15). We have an amazing relationship i really couldnt complain. We both have good career paths hes a proje...
A. 21 October 2014: So, let's see. someone suggests you need to have sex with more than your bf before you'll know if he's the right one. If you carry that logic to it's conclusion you'll never marry him you'll just keep having sex with more and more peoplr until you ... (read in full...)
Cheating boyfriend?
Q. Me and my boyfriend known each other for 10 years but have been together romantically for the last year. A few weeks ago I noticed he had been sending sexual messages to another girl over skype; when I called him up on it he broke down in tears, ...
A. 21 October 2014: Nope, he's not the guy of your dreams, need to dump the dude and find one that is true to one girl at a time.... (read in full...)
I love my husband but I've fallen out of lust with him. Will the feelings come back?
Q. Hello everyone Thanks for offering advice I've been married for 10 years like everyone we've had a few ups and downs but the bottom line is we love each other very much and I'd say my hb is my best friend, again like many relationships ou...
A. 21 October 2014: Are you being fair to him? What! You are exactly what millions of other wives have experienced. You've been fair for many years. As you both age, sex becom,es less and less relevant. Such is life! No worries, he probably has the same feelings.... (read in full...)
I'm worried about boyfriend using an old flings photos to get off on
Q. Hi Just looking for advice. My boyfriend once admitted to me that he occasionally (one every week or two) masturbates to a handful of girls he knows - one of these girls he slept with a couple of times a few years ago. But they've known each oth...
A. 20 October 2014: Should you worry? No, you should dump the dumb Sh__! No one acts that way...you are in a bizzare place get out.... (read in full...)
I can't forgive my boyfriend's spinelessness
Q. I am not normally one for holding grudges, but I just can't seem to see a way past this. Last year my boyfriend whom I've had a long distance relationship with for four years, took me to his hometown to meet his closest friends. They were all ok, ...
A. 20 October 2014: It sounds very much to me that both of these guys are social misfits in a way.I can't blamr you for feeling violated by the rudness of the friend and the lack of response from the bf. Consider this though; Whatever planet(homeland) thes two are from ... (read in full...)
My wife's libido is low after having our baby
Q. I am sorry if this is an old issue - I have looked over previous thread but everyone is unique eh? Two years ago I married my wife who is considered by all who meet her, male and female, to be a particularly attractive and 'sexy' woman. Las...
A. 20 October 2014: We had two kids and both times it was many months until things got back to "normal" a woman's body goes through a huge change during and after pregnancy. you just need to be supportive and jovial. Help as much as possible. Give her space and time ... (read in full...)
I gave an ultimatum to my boyfriend: start talking about your feelings or lose me.
Q. So, i've been searching on google about giving ultimatums and all of them are related to getting married and stuff. Mine is way more simple. Basically, our stone in the path of our two year relationship has been his constant closure towards love and ...
A. 20 October 2014: Exactly, he loves you too much(WTF) the poor guy is really up a tree without a ladder. And now the pressure of use it or lose it. I'm just tickled that I'm not him. Here's hoping he caves in and spits it out. Good Luck... (read in full...)
Is there anything that can be done to increase the friction when my wife and I have sex?
Q. I am a married male in my early 40s. When my wife and I have sex she gets so wet and slippery that after a while there is almost no friction. The other night I couldn't even feel anything to the extent that I lost my erection. I had to pull out ...
A. 18 October 2014: janepeg has the best ideas... (read in full...)
What do I do about my nitpicking fiance?
Q. I moved in with my fiancé. I am finding out that he is a nitpicker. He tells me how to cook or what I should do with this or that recipe. He was the first one to ever complain about a recipe that I have cooked for years and years that everyon...
A. 18 October 2014: Seven letters; c o n t r o l. He wants it and you don't want to give it to him. oil and water don't mix. Save yourself further agony and move on.... (read in full...)
Why did he suddenly brush me off?
Q. A question mostly to men: Why would a man show interest in a woman only to complete ignore her all of a sudden and not even look at her or say hi when he sees her, when the last time he saw her he insinuated otherwise? He does know I am in a r...
A. 18 October 2014: Honeypie once again has this situation nailed!... (read in full...)
He's odd because he's very hot and cold one minute really likes me, the next behaving like an idiot!
Q. I dont understand guys! I've been doing a bit of online dating, met a guy we went out for a drink, we got on really well but i didnt fancy him at all. He text me a few days later and asked me out on a second date which i agreed to, just to make...
A. 18 October 2014: No, it only gets worse now you may both be idiots?... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want sex with me because he's bored!
Q. I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 22, we used to have sex like 6-8,times a month which I was fine with but now he doesn't want to do it at all because he says he's bored. And it really hurt a lot. Shouldn't we be doing it a lot more since we are ...
A. 18 October 2014: Any man that finds sex boring needs to have his freaking head examined. I mean it, he might be on the brink of insanity. have him seek help. He needs it. Lots of luck... (read in full...)
Is he interested? We are playing the part of husband and wife in a drama at his suggestion!
Q. Ok. Here's the deal. I've been attending a new church for about 6 months. After a few months or thereabouts I have a thought that the worship pastor and I would make a good fit. Move forward a few months and he sends me an email (only me) asking if ...
A. 18 October 2014: "Any thought?" Duh...yeah, this lil dude is not the typical pastor I know about. i think you are being manipulated into a dangerous corner and you might want to RUN LIKE THE WIND to a more 'traditional" church environment where there are parishoners ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to stay married, and be happy, even though you are not romantically interested in your husband?
Q. My husband and I are trying to work things out after many months of suffering because of my affair. I have hurt him so bad that I realized he loved me after believing we were just living as roomrates which I got so used to. My problem is that ...
A. 17 October 2014: Of course it's possible there are millions of couples doing it all over the planet.... (read in full...)
He has a tattoo of his ex. And he kisses it. Does this mean he's still in love with her?
Q. My boyfriend had a tattoo of his ex inked on him a long time ago, when they were together. They haven't been together for a long time now and my boyfriend and I have been together going on 2yrs. I constantly see him kissing or looking at his e...
A. 17 October 2014: Not necessarily, He could just be OCD and it's a habit he got into for one reason or another(like good luck,etc.) it's pretty dumb in any event. YOu might call it to his attention. He may not realize it's something he does,i.e an involuntary tick.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife about the dream where I slept with another woman?
Q. I had a very explicit and elaborate dream in which I had sex with a woman who was not my wife. I would never dare tell my wife such things except that this particular dream wasn't sexual in nature. The sex part was just a small (but important) part ...
A. 16 October 2014: Is there an upside to this? If not remain quiet.... (read in full...)
Our friendship became troubled after he got a girlfriend. What should I do from here?
Q. More of a friendship problem. I had a really good friend, for about five years. Then he got a girlfriend (I have a long term boyfriend). Our friendship was always based on banter and being cheeky to each other. As soon as he gets a girlfriend, he ...
A. 16 October 2014: You make it sound like you thought you were supposed to become his 'girlfriend' and not his friend that is a girl. But then you add that you already had a longterm boyfriend. I am as confused as you apparently are as to who you thought he should ... (read in full...)
How do you ask your boyfriend, who is a recent IV drug user, to get tested?
Q. How do you ask your boyfriend, who is a recent IV drug user, to get tested? We are reaching the point in our relationship where we are going to be taking things to the next level physically, but I am terrified of putting myself at risk for StDs...
A. 15 October 2014: Honeypie is right on.... (read in full...)
I'm very hurt by this comment he made! What does he mean? Is this a brush-off?
Q. I met my online friend last week which was amazing after being friends for a year. We hit it off and ther was a real connection both of us very attracted to the other. He has messaged me everyday since and we both miss each other so much already....
A. 15 October 2014: I read it as" these feelings are becoming very intense and are making me ach for you." or I guess it could mean my feelings are becoming confusing since I already have a love. Wait to see how he responds.... (read in full...)
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