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I gave up my unborn baby for him and he doesn't even appreciate it.

Tagged as: Dating, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 November 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 November 2014)
A female United States age 26-29, *eyond_tragedy writes:

Currently I've felt out of place ..before I ask I must explain my situation. I've been with my boyfriend for awhile now and we are oddly very happy.I do my best to be the best girlfriend and he makes small gesture that make me happy. We've talked about where we wanna end up in life and how we wanna be as individuals.Months back I found out I was pregnant I told him right away.Now I've always told myself if this were to happen I'd keep it no matter what .I never wanted to be the person who hides.He asked if I would consider the other route I got offended but he said he was scared. I'm 19 Its not like I was without a job but that day I got home my parents were arguing about losing the house.I got scared where would I go if I add this on top?I felt alone every time I mentioned it to my boyfriend he panicked and changed the subject.He was scared out of his mind I can see it in his eyes.I felt so alone I didn't want to be the person who ruined his life but I didn't want to lose my dignity.In the end I gave up my child which was the most painful experience in my life.Slowly but surely I moved on but now and then I brake down.The day it was done I saw his emotion inside out he was as broken as I was, he held me my stomach and I saw him tear up.He's one to forget so he shows no emotion like nothing happened.I confronted him he said that's what he does and hes sorry he cant feel what I feel.So I guess my question is am I crazy?To hurt so much randomly and be so upset that he does not.I feel when I look back if I can take it all back I would.Other times I feel I gave up that baby for him and he doesn't appreciate it. I've been holding this in I haven't told anyone so I have no one to talk to.Am I crazy to break down for something I've lost 3 months ago?and can I love a guy who feels nothing?

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (7 November 2014):

janniepeg agony auntHe did cry so he's not a non feeling robot. You are not crazy you just need help to regulate your emotions. You can't make him feel something he wishes to forget and move on. You want him to make you feel good but I am not sure appreciating an abortion would do it. He couldn't be glad about it because it's your decision and it would seem heartless to thank you for that. You may also find it hard to accept you had gone through it. Just realize you are not a bad person and you did this to make life easy for you, and so that you can continue with your ambitions. It may make you feel better about yourself if you spend your energy helping people in need. Like sick children and stray dogs. Also have a physical check up to make sure you are healthy.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 November 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntYour reaction is TOTALLY sane and logical. He's the one that's wacko. People that have no feelings are actually certifiable crazy. How you could have feelings for him is way beyond me.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (7 November 2014):

chigirl agony auntYou are not crazy at all. You went through something very traumatic, and you really do need to talk to someone about this. Sorry I dont have time to write more, but I advise you to talk to your doctor about this, soon. Adk for a reference to a therapist or other qualified person to talk about the experience you had, and the feelings you now go through.

You do not need to go throuh this alone. Talk about it. Find help. The way you react is quite normal and understandable, and not crazy at all.

I wish you all the best.

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