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If your boyfriend's friend went to a hooker, does that mean your boyfriend could do it too?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 November 2014) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 November 2014)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone.

Should I worry that a friend of my boyfriend has been using prostitutes? (The guy is single). Does that mean my boyfriend could also do it? I am just wondering if the people your boyfriend considers friends could have an impact on his behaviour. For example if he hangs around cheaters, he is likely to cheat too? Or if his friend goes to a prostitute, he would too? Any truth? Or needless worry?

Just wondering...

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (13 November 2014):

Tisha-1 agony auntHello? What else has been going on that is causing you this doubt?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2014):

What if YOU had a friend that was a hooker? Or a stripper? Does that mean you would be one, too? Probably not.

Think of it this way: I'm more of a "prude" (I've slept with one person and I'm 24) while my very best friend has had her fair share of one-night-stands. Does that mean I'm going to go sleep around? NO. Not at all.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 November 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntWll, of course anythingis possible i guess but wh worry about what is posible? Concentrate on your bf and make it to where he'd have no reason to visit a 'lady of the evening".

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (11 November 2014):

Tisha-1 agony aunt"Does that mean my boyfriend could also do it?"

Well, we don't know your boyfriend. He could be a guy who is a one woman type of guy and who still enjoys spending time with guys who can't find girlfriends and who decide to pay prostitutes for sex.

He could be a guy who is generally a one woman type of guy and who enjoys his friendship with guys who aren't lucky in love.

He could be a guy who.... oh what the heck.

How do you know his friend is using prostitutes?

From your boyfriend?

From someone who knows you and your boyfriend?

From the very little bit of info you provided? I'd say needless worry.

But you wrote because you are unhappy in some way....

What is really going on with you and him?

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A female reader, babalou United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2014):

babalou agony auntIf he is meeting prostitutes, it will eventually come to light, but it doesn't seem like you have any evidence or reason to believe that he is. My friends do drugs but I dont.

You could probably just have a conversation with him about the fact that his friend is meeting prostitutes and see how that goes, maybe even openly ask him if he would ever do the same. You just have to trust whatever his answer is.

HOWEVER, that may lead him to believe that you don't trust him, whether he is innocent or not, so the best thing to do is just trust him. If you have no reason to believe that he would do the same or be unfaithful other than the fact that his friend uses prostitutes then there is most likely nothing to worry about.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (10 November 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntI remember when I was a kid and all my little friends wanted to go ice skating on a pond when the temperature had only been just below freezing, overnight. The ice was clearly not thick enough for all of us to skate on that pond. I pleaded with my folks, "Aw, why CAN'T I go skating???? All my friends are going." (Most weren't.)

.... and my Mother, sagely, said, "If all your friends were going to jump off a bridge, would you want to do that????"

Is that a good enough answer to your query?

Good luck...

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A male reader, CMMP United States + , writes (10 November 2014):

Yes he may. Or, he may not. If someone could point to a statistic that proved you're more likely to sleep with a hooker if your friends do, what would do?

Break up with him? Worry? Demand he stops hanging out with his friend?

What I recommend is the easiest solution to this problem. Stop worrying about things you can't control. If your bf is going to cheat, there's nothing you can do about it. Just be the best girlfriend you can be and hope he is the best boyfriend he can be.

If he cheats get rid of him because he's not worth your time.

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