A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just wish she loved me. We've been together for 7 years and have 2 children. I love her, in love with her, she isn't. It's reaching obsession point now and I'm craving affection and her love. I want to marry her but she won't marry me. I adore her to bits, it's not just a sex thing though. My whole day is revolved around her, I got it bad to quote Usher. Gets me nowhere, hurts when I see her all dressed up etc as I want her. She never tells me straight if she wants me or not, I always feel like I'm keeping her by the string of a thread. I feel so lonely, just want her to love me, cuddles etc. Instead I lie awake crying and she doesn't care, some days she appears to love me and I'm so happy, the day after she just sees right through me. I need advice, or just common ground and just really using this as a way to speak to be honest. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (15 September 2009):
 As seeing right through you pertaining to "being invisible"? That generally is a term of seeing through someone being dishonest or acting as if they're someone they're not.
You're being honest here with us. Although you may not like the answer from her, I suggest you be honest with her, and see what's going on from her side. Talk to her, tell her how you feel and request she do the same. Tell her not to just blow smoke, and to truthfully tell you where you two stand. That's a start, and I'll tell you by keeping these feelings built up inside you, you're only causing damage to your sense of self. It's important when you feel uncomfortable, or not being treated well that you relay that concern to your partner.
I've counseled people where one partner completely changed how they act toward the other because they didn't know that how they were just going about their days their partner felt unwanted and lonely. The biggest reason for not telling their partner was they didn't want to hurt their feelings, instead they'd do damage to themselves and watch their relationship go down the flusher.
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Sorry - this sounds bad. It sounds like she doesn't really want to be with you, or that she at least takes you for granted completely. What is the story of your relationship? You're pretty young as well, to have been together so long and have 2 kids. How old are the kids? Maybe she feels her life passed her by and is dreaming of escape. Common thing after early commitment. She might feel bored and trapped by her life with you guys ...
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (15 September 2009):
 I presume the "seeing right through" is he feels invisible, not that she can see through something he's done wrong.It's very possible this woman is not interested in you anymore and she just hasn't taken the steps to leave you.Whether it is this or what pinktpoaz says (and it very well could be both), I would have your life revolve around you and your kids. Become the best friend you've ever had and be a wonderful father. When you don't appear to care what she does as much, she's more likely to WANT the attention you used to give. Hold something back.I, too, would tire of constant tears.It could be too late, but if this is so, having you rlife have things in it that have nothing to do with her is still the best advice you will get.... until you are ready to leave her.
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A
female
reader, xxmissxx +, writes (15 September 2009):
 hmmm, more information please, how do you mean she sees right through??? come on now, what have you done for her to "see right through"? then maybe we can take the advice from there........
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Sorry to hear about your relationship. I kind of know how you feel.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (15 September 2009):
My goodness. I know this is going to sound mean, and I'm just being honest, but from what you wrote, I invision a whiny man with no emotional control, and a lack of self confidence being that the whole world revolves around this woman. I hope you realize that this is a huge turnoff to a woman (I was even a little bothered reading it). Chill out a bit, don't make this woman your whole world, then she may come around.
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A
female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (15 September 2009):
she doesnt appreciate you. theres gotta be more to this story.
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