A
male
age
51-59,
*undi
writes:Hello, I am asking this question so some of the viewers would reply, I met this girl in a bar one evening after having 4 long island, I ask her to meet me near the bathroom were it was private, she got up and walk back to the bathroom and I waited and started walking back there to meet her, when she came out we exchange number and at that moment I french kiss her hard and strong, this is something that I would never do.. I carrying on a relationship for a month and I decided not to see her agin, I wouldnt call her nor did I return her call I told her I work for the justice dept and I was always on the road and hard to get hold of,, but she kept calling me so sometime I would take the call and even drop over to see her, yes she wanted sex so I did do that,, after several months she would again call or I even text her to say what's up but at no time did I ever say that I love her or wanted to be with her,, in may of this year I met a young lady that I was dating and really started to fall in love with, but i still have my demon's to deal with, I would still call or text her and found myself back at her place.. I kept this from my girlfriend until sept when she ask to visit my aol,, when she open my mail she discovered some email from the other lady,, there was a point in time were I lost everything that i had, my car appt,, I was running scared and to afraud to tell anyone, even my girlfriend or my family, so I called the lady and ask if i can come over, and she said yes,, upon arrival she greeted me at the door and started feeling on me,, so we had sex,, I felt guilty but I still stayed there for three weeks,, and saw my girlfriend on the weekened,, after this explosion with my girlfriend she contacted this lady thru-email and the truth surface, at this point in time my girlfriend do not trust me nor do she want to marry me! Yes I have lie to her to cover up but I wasn't man enough to tell her.. now we are a the point of no return and I want to marry my girlfiend.. how can I regain her trust especially now that the woman I cheated with is pregnant. My girlfriend had been made aware of that.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 You aren't ready to be married to anyone.
Marriage is a partnership. When problems occur in life (and they always will), by your history you would seek out someone you "do not care as much about" rather than working towards solutions with those who you claim to want to embark in a life-partnership with.
Now is a time to be a good father. Concentrate on that. It doesn't sound like that child has much to look forward to from either of his/her parents at the moment.
Sweet-thing and brit429 are right when they say you are at the point of no return. You should also be good to the woman you claim to love, at least once, and let her go with grace.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 What I don't quite understand is why you keep going back to this other woman if you claim you don't love her or want to be with her. My guess is, you should just be with her instead of your girlfriend because apparently that is really where your heart is, as well as your penis. Your girlfriend deserves someone better. Break it off with her as kindly as you possibly can and go be with the woman who is now carrying your child. That is really where you belong now.
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