He wants to go "no contact" after our breakup but the pain is unbearable for me
Q. hello, I need some advise. I am in the in the mids of breaking up with my bf with whom I am with for 4 years. Is there anyone there who could help me lessen the pain a bit? I have read everywhere that the no contact rule should be applied but I do...
A. 18 December 2013: Wow, you're a very strong woman. Good for you for standing your ground!
You've got the right attitude. And soon you will feel so much better. You've already started getting there in just a handful of days.
Good luck! ... (read in full...)
Why does this get to me so much?
Q. I'm worried and don't know who to turn to for help. I am in love with a lovely, caring sensitive man. I think the world of him, he is everything I dreamed of yet there are these insistent doubts. I have suffered many abusive relationships, survived...
A. 17 December 2013: I once dated a woman almost like you described, but you definitely have it worse.
My ex would come behind me and straighten out everything I touched. And I'm a very considerate person, always trying to be respectful of others, so it really m... (read in full...)
How can I build trust and meet new people after being lied to
Q. It's been a few months since I've been on here and really appreciated the mass of advice I got last time. After months of secrecy and lies about who she was meeting and speaking to I plucked up the courage and dumped here. Her excuse being that she ...
A. 17 December 2013: I feel your pain, friend. I once was exactly where you are right now. I got so jaded and bitter after being lied to and cheated on for so long, that I just gave up. Every relationship I got into, I began to expect being lied to. Know what happened? ... (read in full...)
Given his history is it unreasonable to tell him not to go to the stag party?
Q. Am I being unreasonable? My boyfriend of 19 months is best man at his best friend's wedding next year . I said he shouldn't go on his stag doo because on past ones my boyfriend went on he went with three different prostitutes when they all went...
A. 17 December 2013: hi there. i can understand a bit where you are coming from. i'm sorry you're feeling insecure about this.
when he went in times past, was he in relationships at the time? did he cheat?
if not, then technically he did nothing wrong at all but... (read in full...)
I kissed another man, now my husband wants to sleep with someone to "get even"
Q. I've been married for 3 years and together for 6. I love my husband but we have had our issues in the past I cheated on him 6 months into our relationship by kissing another man he also touched my breasts. Nothing else happened and all contact with ...
A. 17 December 2013: male anonymous -
no body particularly said people don't ever have desires or thoughts. but most people are mature enough to recognize that what they are thinking and feeling is inappropriate, unhealthy, and flat out unfair. and they actively... (read in full...)
Do I reply to his lovely response?
Q. Hello aunties and uncles I was friends with a man for over 5 years, he's 3 years younger than me.. During the first 6 months we had a fling, and then we became just friends. I fell in love with him and all the way through our friendship I yea...
A. 16 December 2013: i have absolutely no doubt that this man cares a lot about you and would love to have you in his life as a friend. i'm sure he misses you very much, as well.
the only thing i can really say in response is to ask you how you're feeling about hi... (read in full...)
Did I scare him off and how do I fix this mess?
Q. I think I may have scared off a guy I like. Here is the background on this: he lives in my building and had told a mutual friend of ours that he liked me. We’ve been casually running into each other a few times per month, and I had no idea the guy ...
A. 16 December 2013: if you saying "cool, when?" scared this guy off and ruined things, i'd count your blessings it's over.
in all seriousness, i think you're reading way too much into things. when you like someone, you over-analyze things. he said some time next wee... (read in full...)
I feel like one in a long line of women!!
Q. Please help me I am screwing myself up and my relationship. I am 34 and boyfriend is 45. We have been together for a very happy 18 months and living together for one year. He is the best boyfriend I have ever had but I am so close to losing him ca...
A. 16 December 2013: have you never dated anyone else besides him before? is he the only man you've ever gone out with in your whole life? i can't imagine that could be the case. so did you never care for any of them at all or think they were great at one point in time ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 8 months forgot my birthday! How do I handle this?
Q. We've been together for close to 8 months now and she forgot my birthday. Today the 16th of december is my birthday. Although we've talked about how to celebrate it all week last week, I havent heard from her all day. She had an exam today but she ...
A. 16 December 2013: she may have something up her sleeve! i would wait it out and see. if she forgets, just chalk it up to finals and her mind being pre occupied. i know it hurts. see if you can't forgive and forget if she did forget. it wouldn't be on purpose.
happy... (read in full...)
He wants to split EVERY expense we incur as a couple and it's causing problems in our relationship
Q. Help needed!! My boyfriend of 6 months ls all for equality to the point that it makes me miserable. Before anyone says that I probably like when guys pay for me, let me give you a little background. We both young professionals , I am 5 y...
A. 16 December 2013: you are with a very cheap and stingy man. i don't even believe that he was with money hungry women in the past. i just think he was with NORMAL women and he's so cheap that he interpreted them to be money hungry.
my gf and i take turns paying f... (read in full...)
He's prepared to live off mommy's money -- Is this an irreconcilable difference?
Q. My boyfriend is a spoiled "mama's boy." He's 21 (as am I) and we have been together for four years. His mother is very wealthy, has fancy cars and 6 apartments and recently told him that he will inherit all of this. Since this discovery, my ...
A. 16 December 2013: i couldn't be with someone who had no motivtion or drive to do anything on their own. who cares if his parents give him everything? doesn't mean he can't get his ass out and make something of himself anyway!
let him sit around and play video ga... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still friends with a woman he had sex with. Do I have the right to tell him not to stay friends?
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year woth my boyfriend and we just had a disagreement because he recently told me about a women he slept with and still friends with. He says that she has always been their for him and has been a good friend. ...
A. 16 December 2013: doesn't matter if they started off as sexual. what matters is the present. and as long as they aren't sexual NOW, who cares what their past was? my gf if friends with many of her exes. and she's as faithful as can be and i have no worries whatsoever ... (read in full...)
I feel awful, mostly to put her through this but I don't know what to do
Q. I am 28 years old and am recently married. Believe it or not, I was a virgin until I got married. I live in India where some families are conservative and my parents always told me that physical intimacy is ok with only a life partner. They didn...
A. 16 December 2013: i have a vague idea of how your culture works, and i do understand that sex before marriage can still be a very big deal where you are from. and as for you waiting, congratulations! i know that must not have been easy, and many people cannot say the ... (read in full...)
His weird behaviour makes me curious!
Q. 2 Weeks ago I met someone through a common friend. Lets just call him G. G is a good looking guy, kind and always a gentleman almost to everyone. He never failed to say hi or message me almost everyday. So I always thought of him as a friend...
A. 16 December 2013: lol oops.
while i certainly don't think what you did was intentionally hurtful, you definitely missed the clear signs he was giving you that he was interested.
usually when you first meet a guy and they go out of their way to contact you ever... (read in full...)
Is this creepy or flattering?
Q. Hey, everyone. So, I'm having a problem with this guy that I just met. He's a very sweet guy, but sometimes the things he says are just plain overboard! I gave him my number and we started talking. But, he came right out and said that he liked me...
A. 16 December 2013: Yeah he's way too needy and coming on way too strong. Even forms girl who isn't on the rebound.
You can do one of two things:
1. Break it off and let it go.
2. Try to talk to him and tell him how you feel and get him to back off and just... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still friends with a woman he had sex with. Do I have the right to tell him not to stay friends?
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year woth my boyfriend and we just had a disagreement because he recently told me about a women he slept with and still friends with. He says that she has always been their for him and has been a good friend. ...
A. 16 December 2013: Nope. Not right. You can't tell your boyfriend who he can and can't be friends with. Guys and girls can be platonic friends. And as long as they are both respectful of the boundaries of your relationship, there's nothing to be bothered about.
... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my girlfriend because of her family's reputation?
Q. Helo friends today after a lil bit of long time I again want your help.....actually i m in a relationship with s gal from last 1 nd half year,we both are happy together but their is a big problem about their family that I came to know before a week ...
A. 16 December 2013: People have to keep in mind that other cultures have differing customs. Family is huge where you're from. In more western societies, people couldn't give a damn less about the family. At least not nearly as much as where you're from. but family and ... (read in full...)
Found out about my boyfriend's sexual past and now I'm heartbroken and sick to my stomach
Q. I love my boyfriend more than anything and I know he loves me too. We are like perfect together and I trust him with all my heart which is really hard since I've been hurt really bad by my ex. We both agreed not to talk about his sexual past. I'm ...
A. 15 December 2013: To the anonymous poster. Comparing criminal history and sexual history is apples and oranges. They are completely different things. I had a long list of sexual conquests when I was younger, but am the most faithful and loving person you could ever ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like gay people
Q. My boyfriend has some troubling attitudes on life, and I don't know what I can do (if anything) about it. The one that comes to the forefront more often than others is that he dislikes gay people. Not to the point where he would commit hate crim...
A. 15 December 2013: Oddly enough, most children raised by two men or women don't feel they are missing something from their parents. As long as they are loving and nurturing, and take care of them, there is no issue.
I have many lesbian friends who are raising ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why he broke up with me. Will giving him time help me get him back?
Q. I ve been with my ex for 4,5 years...it was long distance relationship but we were seeing each other very often and planning for me to move to his country and start living together next year,once i am done with my faculty. We had really strong r...
A. 15 December 2013: He also may have ended it so close to you moving because he got cold feet. You've been long distance for so long, he mag have gotten scared of making that leap. So he ended it out of the blue. ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why he broke up with me. Will giving him time help me get him back?
Q. I ve been with my ex for 4,5 years...it was long distance relationship but we were seeing each other very often and planning for me to move to his country and start living together next year,once i am done with my faculty. We had really strong r...
A. 15 December 2013: He wanted you to fly to another country, just to break up with you in person? Lol. Whatever. That's the biggest pile of horse maneur and you both know it. He wants to reconcile, but he's being too stubborn and too much of a coward to admit it. He's ... (read in full...)
Friend acted out and hasn't apologized. Should I get her a Christmas gift anyway?
Q. On the 27th of November my friend tagged me in a status saying Nickelback was "f***ing awesome" and because I was tagged in it, my gran saw it and commented on it saying that the swearing is disgusting and that its not needed. My friend responded in ...
A. 15 December 2013: Yes, she was embarrassed for being called out. However, that in no way merits liking posts that make fun of and mock your grandmother. As your friend, she should have respected your family member. End of story. Embarrassment doesn't justify ... (read in full...)
Friend acted out and hasn't apologized. Should I get her a Christmas gift anyway?
Q. On the 27th of November my friend tagged me in a status saying Nickelback was "f***ing awesome" and because I was tagged in it, my gran saw it and commented on it saying that the swearing is disgusting and that its not needed. My friend responded in ...
A. 15 December 2013: Well if sounds like there were a string of bad decisions made here. Your friend probably shouldn't have tagged you in a post with profanity in it. I don't do things like that because you never know who may read it. However, she prob didn't think ... (read in full...)
Found out about my boyfriend's sexual past and now I'm heartbroken and sick to my stomach
Q. I love my boyfriend more than anything and I know he loves me too. We are like perfect together and I trust him with all my heart which is really hard since I've been hurt really bad by my ex. We both agreed not to talk about his sexual past. I'm ...
A. 15 December 2013: The only person you should be mad at, if anyone, is your boyfriends friend. He should have known better than to say things like that to his friends gf. That's never appropriate.
I understand being a bit put off by his words, but your boyfrien... (read in full...)
He wants to go "no contact" after our breakup but the pain is unbearable for me
Q. hello, I need some advise. I am in the in the mids of breaking up with my bf with whom I am with for 4 years. Is there anyone there who could help me lessen the pain a bit? I have read everywhere that the no contact rule should be applied but I do...
A. 15 December 2013: Is this arranged marriage the reason you two split? I've experienced this somewhat before. My gf was from Saudi Arabia living in the US and her mother constantly tried to arrange marriages for her. She finally stood up to her mother and told her she ... (read in full...)
I asked my girlfriend not to drink so much when out with friends but she did so anyways!
Q. Ok so tonight my girlfriend went and hung out with one of her girl friends and said they were gonna go for happy hour and get a drink and some food. So I said don't drink too much please and she said she wouldn't but her friend messages me and said ...
A. 15 December 2013: Just read your update. So it's not that she has a tendency of belligerency. it's that you get jealous of her behavior. Being all over another guy is rather shitty. But if she's never cheated on you, you need to back off a bit. Sue has every right to ... (read in full...)
I asked my girlfriend not to drink so much when out with friends but she did so anyways!
Q. Ok so tonight my girlfriend went and hung out with one of her girl friends and said they were gonna go for happy hour and get a drink and some food. So I said don't drink too much please and she said she wouldn't but her friend messages me and said ...
A. 15 December 2013: How do you know she kissed another guy? Is that just speculation? Or fact?
In general, I'd typically say she's a grown woman who can drink as much as she pleases. However, I get the feeling you aren't controlling - rather, you've just dealt wi... (read in full...)
Is she seeing a friend or a date?
Q. So recently I met this Asian girl at a friends house and we all had dinner. We had a few drinks and got chatting. We had a lot of fun together and she told me something personal. Soon after it was cut short and it was time to go home. I walked her ...
A. 15 December 2013: Sounds like it's promising. but it also sounds like she's taking it slow. She wanted her friend around just for comfort sake and to slow the tempo down. But she also agreed to see you. If she wasn't interested, I highly doubt she would have found a ... (read in full...)
I kissed another man, now my husband wants to sleep with someone to "get even"
Q. I've been married for 3 years and together for 6. I love my husband but we have had our issues in the past I cheated on him 6 months into our relationship by kissing another man he also touched my breasts. Nothing else happened and all contact with ...
A. 15 December 2013: Ummmm .. you're husband is coming up with excuses to legitimize adultery. Sorry, but in the world of healthy relationships and love, one doesn't hold grudges over someone's head for nearly six years and then use it as an excuse to get laid by ... (read in full...)
I'm about to break up with my B/f and I feel nothing during sex..no physical or emotional connection. Does this mean that sex is all about how you feel for that person?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles. I am in the process of leaving a 3 year relationship,it been tough,and volitile,but I.m finding it a bit difficult to let go of the last bit. It.s literally on it.s last legs. My question is this. The last few times I had sex ...
A. 14 December 2013: I think in my experience, like you, I've had sexual encounters with no emotional connections that were amazing. But that's what we expected and knew was going to happen walking into it. It was purely physical and hot.
With a relationship that's g... (read in full...)
Is he just being stubborn or does he just want to remain friends?
Q. I was seeing a guy for a good two months and we were fab together. Always laughing, had loadz fun together, both felt the same, couldnt get enough of each other. I started to get really strong feelings for him to which he reciprocated by telling me ...
A. 14 December 2013: Sorry about the typos. ... (read in full...)
Is he just being stubborn or does he just want to remain friends?
Q. I was seeing a guy for a good two months and we were fab together. Always laughing, had loadz fun together, both felt the same, couldnt get enough of each other. I started to get really strong feelings for him to which he reciprocated by telling me ...
A. 14 December 2013: I think you possibly still have a tiny chance, seeing as how he's still in contact. But you must NOT push it. Relax and just go with the flow and see what happens. don't get your hopes up.
What you did was classic clingy-ness, and it's very una... (read in full...)
Why do I sometimes find my boyfriend's behaviour confusing?
Q. I'm with a guy, that I find sometimes highly complex. I get confused by him. He's known as Mr Laid back non judgmental etc, yet extremely sensitive and reactive to other peoples opinions. And also casts some unfair opinions about certain people i...
A. 14 December 2013: you're wondering why you find him confusing? reread your post and there you have it. he IS confusing! his actions are very back and forth. unstable, really.
i don't know what else to say, honestly. he just seems very contradictory in a lot of w... (read in full...)
In an unhappy relationship. Should I pursue things with the other man?
Q. Looking for some advise, I've been with my partner for 23 years. 6 years ago we split up for two years, in that time I met someone else and was with them for seven months. When that finished a while after I got back with my long term partner. Thi...
A. 14 December 2013: first of all, you're cheating on your husband. not cool. you know that. so before you proceed and do anything else, STOP having sex with this other guy.
then, take time and evaluate what you want. take all things in and really think about it. you'... (read in full...)
Am I no longer a virgin?
Q. Hi I am in a new relationship. Yesterday my boyfriend and I had sex, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. I didn't bleed and neither did my first time hurt. My question is my boyfriend inserted half of his cock inside me, does this mean I am n...
A. 14 December 2013: V-card officially gone. ... (read in full...)
Should I send this letter to my narcissistic ex?
Q. My ex dumped me 6 months ago. A few months ago after I read something on the Internet, I realized that I'm a narcissist victim. I'm trying to move on, but I still think about him a lot. The last time i sent him a message was 2 months ago and he ...
A. 14 December 2013: well, it all depends on what the latter says. however, most people will tell you NOT to send it. but i'm always that person who is under the belief that if it will make YOU feel better and give YOU legitimate closure, why shouldn't you do it? i see ... (read in full...)
I feel I'm at my emotional limit with this relationship
Q. I need some help and advice with a relatively new relationship I'm in. The relationship started out complicated but that in itself is a very long story so I'm hoping I can escape going into that. Basically, we got together in September and ev...
A. 14 December 2013: you say you feel like he's "no longer the man you fell in love with." thing is, you didn't know him when you fell in love with him. this IS who he is. you just didn't see it because you've only been with him for three months. it takes years to ... (read in full...)
My husband makes twice what I do but wants to split our bills 50/50
Q. I live in an apartment with husband, Here is a break down of our expenses and earnings monthly Rent $920 inclusive of hydro. Tv phone and internet 102. Food around $300 - $330 Also we pay for apartment insurance. Food also includes a...
A. 14 December 2013: my first initial thought is curiosity about why you don't just work full-time? if you work full-time, you'd make twice the amount you make now and earn more than him. and then none of this would be an issue. is there a reason why you don't? or get ... (read in full...)
He won't clarify what I am to him after 3.5 months together. Should this be a deal breaker?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 3 and a half months now, and so far it's been really great for the most part. He's a really sweet guy, and he treats me really well. We hang out a few times a week and we talk everyday. He's met a lot of my ...
A. 14 December 2013: wow, he seems to have no clue how dating works. either that or he's really good at conveniently playing dumb for his own benefit.
people don't just get married without first having a commitment to each other. at least not in our culture. people d... (read in full...)
Is there a way to platonically get to know my crush more, or does he already assume that I'm interested in more than that? Also, what should I do about the current situation with my boyfriend?
Q. I've been in a relationship with a guy for about 2 years, and we've been best friends for 3 or 4 years prior to that. We get along great for the most part, and it's really hard to picture what my life would be like without him since we know each ...
A. 13 December 2013: i'm a die-hard commitment person. so for me, my suggestion would be to completely cut this new guy off before it gets out of hand. remove him from facebook, delete his number and let it go. put all of your focus into your relationship to make it ... (read in full...)
I am feeling suffocated!
Q. I have been seeing a guy for just over a year and, by and large, am very happy. I have a young son (single parent), and he is now in full-time education which is great. I am a single parent and get one weekend off a month, when my son spends ti...
A. 13 December 2013: have you straight out communicated to him that your alone time is a necessity for you? i mean, have you *really* explained it to him, rather than just mentioning wanting to see him at new year? my point is that maybe he just thinks you're saying you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he would feel uncomfortable around my gay friend!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now and I want him to meet my friends. He hasn't met them already yet as there hasn't been an opportunity for him to. So I asked him the other day if he would like to come and watch one of my friends ...
A. 13 December 2013: how about telling your boyfriend to grow the hell up and get over his homophobia? how's that for a start? god forbid your boyfriend suddenly catches the gay disease being around your friend.
seriously no joke. that's ridiculous. tell him to grow ... (read in full...)
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