Avoiding the term "boyfriend" led to an ongoing misunderstanding
Q. I brought my boyfriend to an after hours work party four months into our relationship. I didn't refer to him as my boyfriend but he kissed me a few times and held my hand. He and I were already committed but i don't like the term bf. He's 38 and it ...
A. 3 February 2014: You can't hold it against your boyfriend for the fact that this girl spread rumors. Hold it against her, not him.
It was a mistake. Or less than that; it was a misunderstanding. ... (read in full...)
How do I handle myself to keep her wanting to be with me but not pushing her away at the same time?
Q. I'm seeing a married woman and we're very much in love. She is in an abusive marriage and things are soon coming end. We see each other a couple times a week and communication can be spotty when she is at home. We have discussed our future together ...
A. 3 February 2014: You are in limbo. And you will always be in limbo because in situations like this, the woman (or man) hardly EVER leaves. Ultimately, she's cheating on her husband because something is missing emotionally. You say she's in an abusive relationship, ... (read in full...)
I can't figure out my sexuality!
Q. Okay, I'm 16 years old and very unsure of my sexuality. Most people say I'm just going through the time where I'm exploring 'different paths' however I've been unsure of this since I was about 11 years old. I've had a couple of boyfriends, howe...
A. 3 February 2014: I am a gay female and can relate to you in quite a way.
I'm 29 now, but when I was your age, I was really confused, too. I felt just like you explain feeling; that you dated guys but felt nothing for them but got intense butterflies and feelings... (read in full...)
I took him back after he broke up with me but now he blames me for everything
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 1 year in march. I love him so much and he means the world to me, he broke up with me early in our relationship which I put down to him being on steroids. His whole attitude towards me and life changed ...
A. 2 February 2014: it sounds like you're sticking with the lesser of two evils. you're so used to being physically and emotionally abused, that you put up with this guy because he's not physically abusive like the others. but he's still emotionally abusive. and just ... (read in full...)
Why did she leave?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for over two years. Over the past few months, she has been through some stressful events - changing careers twice, finally finishing school, and dealing with the pressures of being an adult (bills, work, ...
A. 2 February 2014: then again, i also have another idea. it also sounds possible that you didn't listen to her while she was talking on the way home. and maybe it really hurt her feelings. were you distracted while you were on the phone? did you over speak her or ... (read in full...)
Why did she leave?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for over two years. Over the past few months, she has been through some stressful events - changing careers twice, finally finishing school, and dealing with the pressures of being an adult (bills, work, ...
A. 2 February 2014: sounds like she had a VERY bad day at work and completely blew her fuse at you, which was not your fault in the least. you were being a great boyfriend and making her dinner. which was sweet of you.
did you have no indication while you were spe... (read in full...)
Would it bother you if your partner was a nude model for Art Classes?
Q. Hi Everyone, I'm 23 years-old, and I'll be graduating with my Masters degree in May. I've generally kept to the "straight and narrow," so to speak--I almost always follow the rules, I've only had sex with one person (an ex bf), I do don't drugs, ...
A. 2 February 2014: if my partner had told me in the past that she had been a nude model, i'd be intrigued. lol. i wouldn't be bothered at all! it wouldn't effect anything in the least bit.
as for if we were together while she was doing it? hmmm. i kinda see where yo... (read in full...)
I took him back after he broke up with me but now he blames me for everything
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 1 year in march. I love him so much and he means the world to me, he broke up with me early in our relationship which I put down to him being on steroids. His whole attitude towards me and life changed ...
A. 2 February 2014: wow, if you're boyfriend is telling you all the time about how miserable and depressing you are, i'd definitely say something is very wrong.
in a healthy relationship, you don't speak like that to each other. ever. it sounds like he's very con... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to check out other women in front of the one they are with?
Q. Whenever an attractive girl walks by does your boyfriend/date secretly-but-noticeably "looks" at her? Is this a crappy boyfriend/date or is this normal?! ...
A. 2 February 2014: is it normal? sadly, yes. does this make it okay? no.
can't even begin to tell you how many posts we've had about this particular question. to me, i think it's shitty and disrespectful. that's just me.
as a gay female who's extremely attrac... (read in full...)
How do you feel about social media? It seems to cause problems for me.
Q. How do you guys feel about social media, especially Facebook? Do you think it's worth it to have one? Has it ever caused any problems for you? I'm asking this because it seems to cause a lot of insecurity within myself and other problems. I am n...
A. 1 February 2014: Believe me, if you don't have a Facebook account, you're not missing anything. People post the dumbest shit in there. Like in wait to know what type of cat litter you use or what you just ate for lunch. ugh.
The only reason I enjoy it is because ... (read in full...)
She hung my bookmark by her bed. Does this mean she loves me back?
Q. There is this girl that I have a crush on. We are best friends now and we danced one time it was the best moment of my life. I always wondered if she loves me back.I made a bookmark with her name as a Christmas present cause she loves to read. Well ...
A. 1 February 2014: I think at your age, many guys and girls don't know their sexual identity for sure to be able to tell if they are gay or straight. I'm gay but was oblivious until I reached 18. Call me a late bloomer. Anyway, it really just depends. Could just be a ... (read in full...)
Now that our relationship is no longer long-distance, I find myself feeling insecure
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. I am 25 and he is 24. We are very much in love, and we have talked about our future together many, many times. We talk about getting married, having kids, etc. For the most part, our relationship ...
A. 1 February 2014: There seem to be two separate issues here that I would like to address.
First, you said he went out with coworkers for drinks and stayed out all night without contacting you. I don't know about you, but if I lived with my partner and they sai... (read in full...)
How has the new guy I've been dating made me get over my ex so suddenly?
Q. I have a question that confuses me to the point that I don't know what's going on! Basically, I dated this guy last year and I loved him I've never had that strong feelings for anybody else before, but it ended just before summer and it was an awful ...
A. 1 February 2014: Excuse me, I'm sorry, I meant transference. Not displacement. ... (read in full...)
Would you consider this emotionally cheating?
Q. I'm posting on here about my friends behaviour with my other friend who's a guy. I introduced them a while back and she and him had a fling, not so long ago, but it ended cause he got a girlfriend. However, even though he's now with someone new, ...
A. 31 January 2014: I think that there's nothing wrong with hanging out if:
1. The gf knows about it and is okay with it.
2. They are only friends.
Personally, I would have no problem with this as long as my partner was honest and open about it and made m... (read in full...)
How do I start dating again after being hurt?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. I seem to have an issue with letting myself like men. Every time I have ever let myself feel something I end up getting hurt, and its gotten to the point where my defences are so far up that I think I may come across as uncari...
A. 31 January 2014: It's normal to be on the defense after a bad break up/heart break. When my ex and I broke up a few years back (I was cheated on on multiple occasions), I was a mess for a long time. I put up many, many walls and kind of went on a dating/ sex ... (read in full...)
How has the new guy I've been dating made me get over my ex so suddenly?
Q. I have a question that confuses me to the point that I don't know what's going on! Basically, I dated this guy last year and I loved him I've never had that strong feelings for anybody else before, but it ended just before summer and it was an awful ...
A. 31 January 2014: Basically what happened was that you displaced your feelings from one guy to the next. You took the feelings that you had for your ex and placed them all on this guy. It's pretty normal and most everyone has done it at one point or another. But be ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is circumcised and takes too long to orgasm. Sex hurts me. What can we do?
Q. 6 months of horrible sex. I am dating a men that is (''cut'') he is the first one I have dated. It is like his penis is desensitise, he thrusts and pounds during sex as if my vagina was made of steel, he takes very long to orgasm and I get sore a...
A. 31 January 2014: I meant to say body language ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is circumcised and takes too long to orgasm. Sex hurts me. What can we do?
Q. 6 months of horrible sex. I am dating a men that is (''cut'') he is the first one I have dated. It is like his penis is desensitise, he thrusts and pounds during sex as if my vagina was made of steel, he takes very long to orgasm and I get sore a...
A. 31 January 2014: I don't think circumcised v. uncircumcised is really the problem here. I think it's just him.
I'm gay so I definitely don't have your problem. But if I had to lay there for hours on end and just let some dude thrust away at me, I'd hate my life,... (read in full...)
How do I get over losing my best friend? He's rejected me and moved on.
Q. I don’t know how to deal with the rejection of my best friend. He and I were best friends from 13 until 22. I have always been a good friend to him, been there for him, run to him when he has needed me, and even when he has closed the door on me wh...
A. 31 January 2014: That doesn't make much sense. Has he started seeing someone who possibly is controlling him and making him not speak to you?
It's odd for a friendship of so many years to just disappear like that for no reason at all. Is it possible he's started ... (read in full...)
I can't get over the breakup and the nasty comments I've heard since.
Q. I have seeing this guy for 3.5 years. We met on the job and I thought he was a good man, come to find out that he is insecure, low self esteem and a big flirt. At first he said he was not looking for a serious relationship but over the yrs he f...
A. 31 January 2014: It's always the cheater who accuses their partner of cheating. It's so shitty.
The only thing you can do is buckle down and work towards moving on. I'm sure he did love you, but that's not what you need to concern yourself with at the moment. ... (read in full...)
Should I apologise to the ex for my wrongdoing?
Q. I broke up with my ex 7 months ago because we fought too often. We had a brief period of no contact, but eventually he started talking to me again about once a week. We decided to give things another go about 2 weeks ago, but I bought up old issues ...
A. 31 January 2014: What you should really do is realize that you two, despite loving each other, are clearly not right for each other. You're not supposed to fight like that in a healthy relationships. you gave it another go with him, and already, you're right back to ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend keeps pressuring me to perform oral and I hate it.
Q. I don't know how to say all this without coming out like an asshole but please hear me out. My girlfriend keeps pressuring me to go down on her because she goes down on me but I really don't want to. I've tried it before with several girls ...
A. 31 January 2014: And if you were a woman, I'd say the same thing. if she found penises gross and didn't want to touch them, I'd tell her she wasn't ready, either. So it's not a gender thing. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend keeps pressuring me to perform oral and I hate it.
Q. I don't know how to say all this without coming out like an asshole but please hear me out. My girlfriend keeps pressuring me to go down on her because she goes down on me but I really don't want to. I've tried it before with several girls ...
A. 31 January 2014: My personal take is that you're not ready for sex. Not a put down in any way. Just seems to be the case.
You're talking about everything being all oooey, gooey, and gross down there and not wanting to touch or see it. But that's a part of sex, my ... (read in full...)
He is badmouthing me to mutual friends. Should I confront him?
Q. I had a falling out with a guy friend some months back. I discovered he had feelings for me (I had feelings for him too), things became complicated and our friendship ended on a very sour note. He ended up blocking me on all social networks. I ...
A. 31 January 2014: If I had to guess, you were most likely the one who officially ended things? He probably got his ego hurt and this is how has handling it.
I would send him a text, if you still have his number, and let him know you saw it and that you would ap... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking his comment?
Q. This is the dumbest thing I've ever asked.. But I'm not sure if I should be insulted or think it's sweet... My boyfriend said to me: you may not be perfect but you're perfect for me... I instantly thought "aw how sweet", but should I be insu...
A. 31 January 2014: You're definitely over thinking. It was sweet. ... (read in full...)
Things aren't the way they used to be with my boyfriend. Should I worry?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 8 months. When him and I first met and first got into a relationship, things were great. He made a lot of effort to talk with me and to hang out, we spent a lot of time together, and he just seemed ...
A. 31 January 2014: One thing that's hard is when people put there best foot forward in the beginning and then after time goes on, you realize that's not how they really are.
Not to say that your boyfriend is a bad guy. Not at all. But I say the way that you beha... (read in full...)
I read my boyfriend's journal didn't like what I read but now I want to read it again!
Q. I'm usually not a snoop, I trusted my boyfriend when we were together, but I did something I'm ashamed of. I read his journal, and I didn't like what I read. It basically said his was unhappy with our relationship among other things, but nothing ...
A. 31 January 2014: People are entitled to their own personal thoughts. It's exactly why he has a journal in the first place. He probably wrote what you were thinking at the time - that you two were having problems and he was feeling unhappy. Were you not feeling that ... (read in full...)
I can't seem to hit a girl's g spot
Q. i have 6.2 inch penis 4.5 inch straight and and around 2 inch slight down curve.. i had sex with thirteen different girl but i never get any negative comment but i still fell insecure because i think i m not able to satisfy and make girls orgasm in ...
A. 31 January 2014: Have you tried oral sex it your hand to get your girls off? Sex doesn't have to just be about a penis.... (read in full...)
I feel I'll never attract someone of the same religion because of my looks and personality.
Q. hi... I am really a lost soul at the moment... I come from a Muslim family. My mom is moderate-liberal Muslim and my dad is relatively conservative. So I've been brought up with conflicting views... Anyways, so I'm at uni and I feel too conservat...
A. 31 January 2014: Being Muslim is very much a religion. It's very similar to that of Christianity, in fact.
That being said, I am dating a woman from Saudi Arabia. Wow, a gay Arab woman! Holy crap! Lol.
Anyway, she came to the US in 2008. Her dad is a souther... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend's friend do that? Am I overreacting?
Q. Why does my boyfriend's friend do that? Am I overreacting? My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6months now. He seems crazy about me and I'm into him too. Hes really sweet and very nice. All my friends and family likes him and his frie...
A. 28 January 2014: It's tasteless and disrespectful. I don't think it means he will cheat or anything like that. But it's not cool.
You aren't in the wrong for how you feel. I would be offended if the same was taking place in my relationship. It's just rude. An... (read in full...)
I think I have a phobia against vomit?
Q. This weekend me and my boyfriend went to a party and stayed in a hotel. He had quite a bit to drink and as a result of this, threw it all back up when we got back to our room. ( I know this information isn't lovely but there is a point ) I think I ...
A. 28 January 2014: Definitely not everyone wants someone there when they are puking. I would insist the person leave if they tried to be there while I puked. No way am I letting anyone watch that.
You have nothing to feel bad about and nothing to make up for. You... (read in full...)
Why do girls suddenly distance themselves from a guy, when things seem to be going great?
Q. Dear cupid I have experienced during my dating that sometimes girls suddenly distance themselves without any warning or explanation whilst you are dating a girl. (She doesn't like anyone else and she's single ). Why the sudden change in attitude w...
A. 28 January 2014: Same reason men distance from women when things are "going great." Obviously things were not going as great as imagined, otherwise, the other person would not be growing distant.
Things may have appeared great to you, or the hypothetical person w... (read in full...)
Was this saleswoman inappropriate??
Q. I was recently in a gas station on the way to work, quickly getting a drink, it was 12pm and I was in my work uniform. I dont often go to this station but it is close to where i live. The woman behind the counter (40-48) approximately I...
A. 28 January 2014: Doesn't sound like she's trying to be rude in purpose. She's just one of those people with no filter or social skills. Try to shake it off, as it was rude. But not intentionally hurtful.... (read in full...)
NEVER will do anything for a woman unless there is sexual intention involved.
Q. I had a discussion with a friend today about my upcoming trip, and she said that men NEVER will do anyhting for a woman unless there is sexual intention involved. I told her that I had and have plenty of guy friends. She asked me to think under w...
A. 27 January 2014: He wants sex.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being too friendly with her? He says he doesn't want to be mean to her
Q. About a week ago my boyfriend met a girl through some mutual friends. My boyfriend says this girl flirted with him like crazy as soon as she was introduced to him and even told my boyfriend that he seemed like an amazing guy and that she really ...
A. 26 January 2014: Who needs a relationship when you can have friends like that? Sheesh.
What he's doing is crossing the line and unfair to you. Out of respect, he shouldn't have taken her number. Or at least perhaps he could have accepted it out of manners,... (read in full...)
How much help do I provide an ex who still isn't over me?
Q. So me and my boyfriend of 5 years broke up May 2012, and whilst now I can say that I have completely moved on, I know that he is struggling really bad. Tonight he asked if he could talk to me on the phone (the first time we have actually spoken ...
A. 26 January 2014: That's a hard situation because you were together for so long. so no doubt you still care for him. He was a huge part of your life.
If he's struggling so much, he most likely would benefit from some counseling. it's nice to have someone who does... (read in full...)
How to friendzone a hookup?
Q. I met this guy at a party last semester and we really hit it off!!! we hung out a few times and ended up having sex twice... unfortunatly the sex was terrible and his pen15 was ridiculously small... it makes me really sad to say but it kinda ruined ...
A. 25 January 2014: What ciar said. He's not looking for friendship from you. He's looking for a hookup. If you don't want to hook up anymore, he will move on. ... (read in full...)
I want a baby but I'm not sure my BF really does
Q. I want a baby and need to have one soon! I'm 36. I have a boyfriend of a year. He knows of my desire to have a baby and marriage. He says he's "open to it" when I brought up the baby but no real concrete plans. When I brought up marriage , he said ...
A. 25 January 2014: Whatever you do, don't try to sneak getting pregnant by him. Not suggesting that you would do this. Just throwing it out there.
I can completely understand where you're coming from with wanting to have a baby and you feel time is running out. Man... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to be curious about what sex is like with other men?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year. It's my first serious relationship. He's 40. I'm 23. We get along well. Sex is good most of the time. He makes me laugh, he's kind, listens and really cares about me. The thing is lately I've been thinki...
A. 25 January 2014: You're at an age where some are looking to settle down and get married and others are not. 23 is one of those in between ages where it could go either way.
On the other hand, 40 is not typically one of those ages. Granted, that's not necessar... (read in full...)
I have a problem dealing with my girlfriend having had a lesbian relationship in the past!
Q. Hello there. I'm 31 years old and I have a girlfriend for almost 2 years now. She's really special and she's the kind of person that I want to spend the rest of my time with. When we were talking about her past (like almost a year ago) she t...
A. 23 January 2014: Sorry, I sent that way before I intended to.
Anyway, point being that human beings aren't just gay or straight. And the fact that your girlfriend fell in love with a woman is nothing to be threatened by or in no way finished her feelings for you.... (read in full...)
I have a problem dealing with my girlfriend having had a lesbian relationship in the past!
Q. Hello there. I'm 31 years old and I have a girlfriend for almost 2 years now. She's really special and she's the kind of person that I want to spend the rest of my time with. When we were talking about her past (like almost a year ago) she t...
A. 23 January 2014: As a lesbian female myself, and having a partner who has never been with a woman before me, I can say that love is not bound to simply being gay or straight. You're looking at it too black and white. Human sexuality falls on a contingency scale. ... (read in full...)
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