This incident made me question whether our core values are in sync
Q. I feel very disappointed in my girlfriend of almost 4 years yesterday, but I don't think she understands the core issue (or maybe it's not an issue). We are 29 and 28. We were in a car driving to a birthday event about an hour away with my gir...
A. 8 April 2014: I actually really do see where you're coming from. I think some may over-look it and not really think twice. But I wouldn't. I don't blame you.
Now, if originally, the man startled her and made her uncomfortable or uneasy, as sometimes a situatio... (read in full...)
Do I act crazy and tell my ex I love her or just move on?
Q. I met my ex-gf for drinks for the first time in months. She actually asked me out. We work for the same company so it was more like a work stress relief. She felt like she wanted to clear the air between us. It was a rocky separation; but the ...
A. 21 March 2014: As a gay woman, I can tell you my biggest hesitation would be whether or not you are actually ready for a gay relationship at this point. If you broke up on account of your inability to wish to live a gay lifestyle or at least your uncertainty of ... (read in full...)
My boy keeps lying to me, but insists that he loves me and only me?
Q. Alright so before you tell me to just "dump his ass", actually think about this. Basically, the guy I'm with right now is the best guy ever. I love him to death. And he loves me. He does so much for me, as do his parents. Through his life, he has a...
A. 21 March 2014: There is a difference between someone slipping up and cheating on their diet versus someone "slipping up" and cheating on their partner. The first is only harmful to that particular individual, and the consequences are minor. The latter is harmful ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband call me names and threaten me and then apologize?
Q. My husband is in jail for domestic violence and going to get deported. When I visit him he calls me names and threatens me and makes comments about other women in the room to try and make me feel jealous. After the visit he will call me and ...
A. 21 March 2014: Because he's an abuser and a shitty man. That's why.
Being in an abusive relationship, both physically and emotionally, is extremely damaging to ones mental health. It's definitely a good thing you're starting counseling.
If this man is in j... (read in full...)
My boy keeps lying to me, but insists that he loves me and only me?
Q. Alright so before you tell me to just "dump his ass", actually think about this. Basically, the guy I'm with right now is the best guy ever. I love him to death. And he loves me. He does so much for me, as do his parents. Through his life, he has a...
A. 21 March 2014: Okay so I really thought about it and DUMP HIS ASS.
You're actually coming up with excises and justifications for your boyfriends infidelity. And you'd be a fool to believe he's being faithful. Even if he's not physically cheating *yet*, it's jus... (read in full...)
Am I crossing the line? Why do I feel that I say inappropriate things in class?
Q. I need opinion whether I say inappropriate things all the time. I have this group of people in one of my language classes. A teacher is a woman in her late 40s, then few guys about the same age and few younger men and women but not by much. ...
A. 20 March 2014: I doubt the sex appointment comment was bothersome. Kinda funny and your teachers response was great. However, the comment about being under attack by all those guys and how your friend was too large to get any male attention probably rubbed people ... (read in full...)
I think my husband has a crush at work and its making me uncomfortable
Q. Would anyone else think anything of this? Or am I just being paranoid? My husband of 6 years has recently started a new job. He's been there about 2 months now. He works in a team of 7 others, one Man and six women. For the past 3 weeks he h...
A. 20 March 2014: I would be really uncomfortable with this situation. I'm curious why they split all of a sudden, and why your husband is the one who is taking her out for drinks.
Maybe I'm more suspicious than others, but that doesn't sound right to me. They sta... (read in full...)
This guy is a scum. Do I tell his gf?
Q. My ex dumped me about a year ago. We had been together for 4 years, including 2 years LDR. We planned to get married, but he broke up with me 2 months before we could finally see each other. He thought I was too clingy. He cheated on me twice before ...
A. 20 March 2014: No you don't tell his gf. You stay out of it and you go back to what you were doing before; blocking him and not speaking to him. Clearly when you don't see him or know what he's up to, you move on so much quicker. I've learned this for myself, so ... (read in full...)
Fiance is having people at our home, not telling me and then lying when caught
Q. Need your perspective to work out if I an being unreasonable or not... found oout my fiance has been lying about people coming over to our house whilst I am out at work and am really annoyed at him for omitting to tell me, and lying about his day. ...
A. 20 March 2014: I think he felt compelled to lie because he's afraid of telling you the truth. He's allowed to have friends over and have his family over. After all, the house is supposed to be both if yours now, not just yours. I get that it technically belongs to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is tired of my friend and her lying cheating boyfriend
Q. I don't really know who to ask about this so I thought id give this a go. I've got a close friend who has been seeing my boyfriends friend for about a year on and off. He has cheated on her and messed her around numerous times and he was expect...
A. 20 March 2014: Just leave your boyfriend out of it. Don't ask him or mention it to him again. He probably was just fed up and overreacted and will calm down and speak calmly to you. However, as I said, just don't talk to him about the situation and don't answer ... (read in full...)
Do you pressure for oral sex?
Q. Do you or your significant other like to give or receive oral sex? If not do you pressure them (the whole "if you love me" thing") or do you leave it alone? I've been with my boyfriend for some years. I don't get sexually frustrated, but I'm tryi...
A. 20 March 2014: I just noticed your age. I didn't realize you were still quite young, so my apologies.
But no, I don't think it's right to make manipulative comments like "if you loved me..." blah blah blah. Not okay. If you enjoy it and feel comforta... (read in full...)
Do you pressure for oral sex?
Q. Do you or your significant other like to give or receive oral sex? If not do you pressure them (the whole "if you love me" thing") or do you leave it alone? I've been with my boyfriend for some years. I don't get sexually frustrated, but I'm tryi...
A. 20 March 2014: Wait, am I understanding you correctly; no sex at all, just hand jobs, oral, etc? Why no sex?
Personally, I would be willing to try whatever my partner wanted because I love making her happy. Making her happy makes me happy. however, she would ne... (read in full...)
It's early days, but after just two dates - were his actions charming or creepy?
Q. Hi Agony Aunt folks I have a question , So I met this guy online we had 2 dates so far he is a cop and seems very nice a lot different form the last guy I dated I have had bad luck lately in the men department and seem to end up with abusive men so ...
A. 19 March 2014: He's a cop. definite creeper. Lol. ... (read in full...)
Will she give me another chance after calling her bad names for going out with other guys
Q. we met on zoosk and it was fantasic we hit it off TOO WELL and talked for 5 hour a day she called me in the morning and at work and we talked all night. we wanted to wait to have sex but didn't so the 2nd date we ended up in bed... so i went home ...
A. 19 March 2014: Wow, this woman is a professional game player. Don't you dare start to blame this on you. She played intentional mind games on you from the start and you fed right in.
This is the type of woman most men would want to run from. She's a nightmar... (read in full...)
My first reaction was to lie, and it's causing problems now
Q. I’m 32 and my boyfriend is 37. We’ve been together for 8 months, and he moved in with me about 2 months ago. I know it sounds like it happened fast, but it feels right and we’re definitely in love. Here’s the problem: sometimes he goes through my ...
A. 17 March 2014: What would be the big deal to me is the fact that he took it upon himself to go through your fb messages without your consent. Of course you said something awkward - you were completely caught off guard! Rightfully so! Granted, it is weird you ... (read in full...)
How do I keep her interested in me during her month away?
Q. So I've recently started dating a girl I quite like; we get along well, we enjoy each others company and we can joke around with each other and act coupley. Basically I want to be in a relationship with her. Now there is a problem; we've b...
A. 17 March 2014: I know this time is meant to spend with her family, but I don't see why you couldn't take a day and visit her after about the two week mark. I don't think that would be considered rude. One day isn't demanding much.
If not, Than let her know how... (read in full...)
Is 26 too late to start a new life?
Q. I've suffered from serious bouts of depression and anxiety related disorders since I was 18, and used to binge drink regularly to alleviate my woes. I'm almost 26 and I don't know how but i'm managing to overcome this mindset which has made my life ...
A. 17 March 2014: Are you kidding? At 26, you're at an advantage. Most teenagers at the age of 18 are way too immature to handle college/university and wind up drinking it all away and partying and failing out. I was one of those. I didn't fail out, but I didn't get ... (read in full...)
Worried I somehow messed up our second date!
Q. Hey! first time poster, I was wondering if someone might be able to shed some light on my situation... well honestly its not a big situation and the answer is probably really obvious! i guess that i am just a really worrier. I recently went on a sec...
A. 16 March 2014: Yes you are being overly stupid with worry lol. Take a breather. Clearly she likes you or she most likely wouldn't have let you kiss her and she most certainly wouldn't have sent you a text message stating what a good time she had. If she wasn't ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but am attracted to the gay guy at work!
Q. I work at a book store near my hometown. I'm pretty shy so it's hard for me to connect with people. It's been a couple of months since I started working there, so it's getting easier. My coworkers are actually pretty cool. Especially one person in ...
A. 16 March 2014: I do agree with you about sexuality. As a gay woman, I can acknowledge that once in a blue moon, I find a man attractive. But I would never date them. This guy might find you attractive, which should flatter you. However, I highly doubt he would ... (read in full...)
My husband wont discuss our problems because I might get upset!
Q. I have been thinking about leaving my husband. I was on a business trip recently and enjoyed my time away, however, I missed my husband. It has been a few days since my return and already I can't stand being back. He is unbearable to be around. He ...
A. 16 March 2014: The thing is, you're not stuck. I know it's not ideal, but you can get a divorce. If you're as unhappy as you say, move out and file for one. he sounds like a miserable guy to be around. Maybe pack up and leave for a few days and think it over. Do ... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm blowing "hot and cold," but that isn't my intent!
Q. Hi everyone, im hoping someone can give me some good advice. i have been seeing a man for 4 months now and i think ive fallen for him.however he thinks i blow hot and cold on him but i dont kniw what to do about it.i dont want to do the cold spells ...
A. 15 March 2014: My current gf is like this. Don't get me wrong, we are good and we are happy together - but it took a while to learn her. She is a lot like Hnk's ex, and it threw me off in a big way in the beginning stages of our relationship. But I then realized ... (read in full...)
I've changed but her father doesn't believe it
Q. How do I prove to my girl friends father I'm not a bad guy. We have been dating for about three months and have pretty much had to hide it from for parents because they hate me. Yes, I have done somethings wrong in the past but I have changed....
A. 15 March 2014: If your daughter was dating a man with your background, what would you think?
Not saying you haven't cleaned up. That's great. Keep up the good work. But my point being that it's a fathers job to look out for their daughters well-being. he's jus... (read in full...)
She's always got excuses not to spend time with me
Q. So I met a girl after ending a 10 year relationship. The new girl is much younger than me and she started the flirting and all that sweet stuff. So I really thought she was into me. We've been seeing each other for 8 weeks now. We live far apart but ...
A. 12 March 2014: I suggest removing her from these sites you can see what she's up to. I don't know what she's up to but it's nothing good. She's playing with you. Stay strong and don't give in. she will just hurt you all over again. ... (read in full...)
My friend is offended by her work colleages, was she right to be?
Q. A good friend of mine has recently been on 2 wks vacation from work, she didn't go anywhere, she stayed in our city and relaxed, saw friend etc. She went back to work on Monday, when I met up with her yesterday (for a coffee after work) she c...
A. 12 March 2014: I think your response was just fine and dandy. I think she's being a bit in the dramatic side by taking offense to her coworkers not asking. Personally, I couldn't care less if my coworkers asked me how my break was or not. Most of my coworkers ... (read in full...)
We used to laugh together but now I'm not laughing with him
Q. How do I tell my boyfriend that he is seriously hurting my feelings? We've always been the best of friends for almost 5 years, the kind of friends that could cut up together, with sarcasm, and humor. We've said some of the most rudest, meanest ...
A. 11 March 2014: Hey there :)
You say: "I want him to still like me, and not think that by dating it has ruined our friendship. I don't really know how to tell him in a way that won't make him think he made a mistake." However, it sounds to me like YOU think da... (read in full...)
Don't tell me to get over it because I want him back!
Q. hi, I am in a really difficult situation right now and would need some advice. I was seeing this man for over 3 years, we had quite a big argument which was kind of the last straw for him. In my opinion I was only bit sarcastic and his reaction...
A. 10 March 2014: To be honest, I mean, you can do everything in the world to get him back, but if he truly doesn't want the relationship anymore, unless you want a court ordered restraining order on yourself, you may have no choice but to give up eventually.
... (read in full...)
Should I tell this new guy everything my ex did to me?
Q. Hello Dear Cupid, I have been talking to a guy online and we talked about getting together since he lives fairly close by. Initially, I didn't want to go back online because I got hurt in my last relationship. My sister thought it might be a good ...
A. 9 March 2014: Oh and no you shouldn't waste any more time worrying about your ex or explaining anything. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell this new guy everything my ex did to me?
Q. Hello Dear Cupid, I have been talking to a guy online and we talked about getting together since he lives fairly close by. Initially, I didn't want to go back online because I got hurt in my last relationship. My sister thought it might be a good ...
A. 9 March 2014: It sounds to me like you're not completely emotionally ready to date. If you're still crying over your ex, it means you're not over your ex. And that always spells out a recipe for disaster when you try to have anything other than a friends with ... (read in full...)
What should I aim for first, baby or dream career?
Q. I need some advice on how to map out a few things in life!!! I'm 29 years old, I have a full time permanent job that I enjoy and the type of skill set that allows me to do nixers from home if I need extra cash. I have a bit of debt that is due to b...
A. 9 March 2014: I think it's always best to have babies after you're established in the career you desire. That, in my opinion, would come first.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
I can only get turned on by my girlfriend?!
Q. Hi My problem isnt terrible but I'm worried about it Is it normal to only get turned on by my girlfriend? I can only Masterbate to her. If I watch porn it wouldn't do anything for me it's weird , it took me 2 years of convincng but got her to...
A. 7 March 2014: it's called love and it's a good sign. and i'm sure your girlfriend is flattered. most women would kill to have a guy feel that way about them, seeing as how so many women seem to have a problem with their boyfriends/husbands watching too much porn. ... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 7 March 2014: I'm of the belief that you show people how to treat you. When you let them get away with this kind of stuff, they learn to keep doing it because you're showing them it's alright.
It's not alright. he needs to be shown his actions are not acceptab... (read in full...)
I see his actions as being disrespectful of our time spent together. He sees my reaction as emotionally unstable.
Q. Guy I've been seeing for over a month won't stop texting when I'm around him! Was I out of line by the way I handled this? Is there a better way I should have handled it? I was over at his house. Literally from the time I got there until righ...
A. 6 March 2014: Um... no. Anyone with any shred of decency or respect would know that they were being rude as hell. Is he 15? His acts sound like he's the unstable one. And the comment about the girl would be enough for after only one month of dating, me to call it ... (read in full...)
My fiancee thinks I am putting my car before our wedding and moving into our own place! Is she being fair in her response?
Q. My 23 year old fiancée thinks I (26) am putting my car in front of our wedding and finding a place to live. My grandfather left me the car, granted it has sentimental value to me, being the only thing I really have left plus it is quite a rare car...
A. 5 March 2014: Your girlfriend and mother in law are being very unreasonable and insulting. Yore only spending a tiny portion on something of great value to you. Either than that, everything is going towards her dream wedding.
Before you blow your top, calmly s... (read in full...)
I know I don't deserve my gf's love after what I did but I want to at least make sure she knows how much I regret my actions
Q. My gf and I had been dating for a year and had known each other for 9 months prior to dating. Six months ago a "friend" of mine made a move on my gf and when she turned him down, he poisoned me against her. Taking advantage of my trust in him from a ...
A. 5 March 2014: Oh, and kick your friends ass. ... (read in full...)
I know I don't deserve my gf's love after what I did but I want to at least make sure she knows how much I regret my actions
Q. My gf and I had been dating for a year and had known each other for 9 months prior to dating. Six months ago a "friend" of mine made a move on my gf and when she turned him down, he poisoned me against her. Taking advantage of my trust in him from a ...
A. 5 March 2014: I say you speak up. Even if it doesn't get you your desired result of her taking you back, it at least puts the truth about your real feelings out there.
Also, when you really think about it, even if you are ultimately rejected, are you in any w... (read in full...)
Should I let this go?
Q. I'm absolutely fuming! Please read! Last night I went out to dinner for my friends birthday. There were 9 of us in total and a few friends of hers who I don't know. I wasn't feeling well as I had some work on my teeth and on tablets so I c...
A. 2 March 2014: While I don't condone her comments, I agree that it's a bit stingy. I get that you didn't eat much and all that. But it's a special night out and really not that big of a deal. But I guess that's coming from me, a person who would normally offer to ... (read in full...)
My fiancée is having a stroppy moment over something seemingly small, why?
Q. Hi aunts n uncles, I have been with my fiancée for three years now, shes 23 im 26. The other night I told her that I was going to Bath in Somerset to maintain some equipment for a few nights and I said that I would like to be in my own bed when ...
A. 21 February 2014: I agree with CindyCares. It seems that she's afraid of you growing distant and is now suddenly picking up the pace.
In her mind, you saying you wanted your own bed may have been interpreted as you starting to grow distant. She knew you had aske... (read in full...)
I'm lucky if I get a text every two or three days
Q. Ive been seeing my boyfriend since august. Have been official since december. When were together when were not i dont hear from him. In previous relationships i have heard from my partner at least once per day, even if its just dropping me a text. ...
A. 20 February 2014: I think after six months of being together, I would feel like you do. He seems to be making very little effort and I don't blame you for how you feel.
This would be perfectly acceptable for me if it were a casual relationship. But to be official... (read in full...)
Shut my friends out because of my relationship
Q. Since getting with my boyfriend in August 2013, I've hardly seen my friends. I used to see them almost every weekend, we would go out and have drinks and have a laugh. I miss some of them alot but I'm too stubborn to admit I've been in the wrong as ...
A. 20 February 2014: Stubbornness is not a good quality to have. I know it's hard to own up to mistakes made, but being too proud to admit you're wrong will cause you a lot of problems and potential heartache throughout life.
Do yourself a favor and own up to your ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me, acts like we're still in a relationship, but is talking to other guys
Q. So my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of being together. We moved in together after three months of being together so we have a close bond. My ex states that she doesnt think she loves me enough and that she isn't happy within herself so ...
A. 20 February 2014: She's holding on to you until she finds something better. You're her safety net.
Want to get her back? Push her away and do things like you just did .. ask for your keys back, etc. this way, she is forced to make a decision rather than get her ... (read in full...)
His excuses are all legit, but I kinda want to put my foot down
Q. Is he nervous or uninterested? I'm in tears right now :( I just don't know what to do anymore. Theres a guy who i like so much, you know when you just click with someone. I've known him for about 3 years and weve always thought each other w...
A. 20 February 2014: I would leave it. as a generalization, typically men like to be the ones to chase and when they are really interested, you will know.
In my opinion, it sounds like he's not interested. Otherwise, he'd be calling and chasing after you. he'd fin... (read in full...)
She's always got excuses not to spend time with me
Q. So I met a girl after ending a 10 year relationship. The new girl is much younger than me and she started the flirting and all that sweet stuff. So I really thought she was into me. We've been seeing each other for 8 weeks now. We live far apart but ...
A. 15 January 2014: Yep. Definitely sounds like classic shadiness 101 to me. She was definitely seeing other people. I mean, when you asked her about this call, she ends things? That seems quite clear to me.
Count your blessings it ended sooner rather than later. S... (read in full...)
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