A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice on how to map out a few things in life!!!I'm 29 years old, I have a full time permanent job that I enjoy and the type of skill set that allows me to do nixers from home if I need extra cash. I have a bit of debt that is due to be cleared by the end of this year! My partner is setting up a business this year, I believe that he will be successful - he's that type of person. So for the next few months we are both a bit strapped but we are making sacrifices so it's ok. My question is that I wish to set up my own business in a different area to my current job. It. Is something that I love and am passionate about and I really think I would be happy doing it for the rest of my life. But we are trying to figure out when to have babies? I don't want to leave it too late. Do I try for baby this year, while still in permanent employment? Start up the business when babies start play school? (I would like two children in close succession anyway). Or do I clear debt, start business up late 2015 when I am 31, and then risk having to leave running of the business to someone else while on maternity leave? So confused!!! Thanks for any advice
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2014): Go for the baby. The career will always be there. You can even keep up with your career while being a mom. A bit trickier, but you can make it work. It's waaaay harder to get pregnant later & you'll absolutely regret it if you leave it too long (getting pg). Good luck! :)
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (9 March 2014):
 Just wanted to expand on something Chigirl touched on.
When you have your own business (or are self employed) which you would be - you don't get maternity leave. I am self employed - if I don't work, the business doesn't work either and no pay is earned at the end of the month.
Unless you plan to have employees to carry the load, you may struggle with income. You do not mention what type of business you want to set up, but have you fully considered the costs of employees? Not only do you have to pay wages, but also pension contributions, sick pay and THEIR maternity pay if/when they have children too.
You won't get maternity pay either. That only happens if you are employed by a company. There is also the issue that if you do not return for a certain amount of time after the maternity leave you actually have to pay back the maternity pay. I know in the UK, I have had teacher friends who had children, who had maternity leave/pay but decided not to return after their leave was up and they had to pay it back.
So with that in mind, I would say stick to your current job.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 March 2014):
 PS. I'd also not brush away the idea of doing both at the same time. See how things play out, but it's not impossible to have a child AND set up a business. It just takes more planning and financially you will not be as secured. But that also depends on how your partners business turns out, and how much money you have in the bank in case things don't out with the business. But you know, you can do both at the same time. Being pregnant or a mother doesn't make you incapable of working or functioning. I had a girl in my class at university who took her masters degree while getting pregnant and having a child. She handed in her paper for a masters degree (we have to write one that's around 100 pages and it takes about a year to write), with her son being two months old... As far as I know she got top grades too. Just saying, it's been done before, so don't write it off as impossible, even if it is ambitious.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (9 March 2014):
Im with Cerberus on this. You are a permanent job now, you're with someone you want a child with (I assume you've discussed this with your partner?), and you are good financially. Everyone has some dept, and you sound like you have it under control. When you go on leave when in a permanent job you are more secured than if you have your own business, as then you're left to fend for yourself.
Babies grow up and you will have plenty of opportunity to dedicate yourself to a business later on. But you might not get to try for a child later on, as it can actually take years to get pregnant. It sounds os easy to get knocked up with all the teenagers getting themselves pregnant, but it is actually not that easy to get pregnant. Miscarriages are common. You can't decide you will have a baby at this or that time, it might be that even if you start trying for a baby now, you will not have one until two more years... Im just saying, you can't really plan this too much. The again, you could get pregnant right away.
It's just, if you have the option to start a family I would advice you to do so sooner rather than later. There is never a perfect time to have a child anyway. You will just have to adjust.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2014): Normally I'd agree with others, career first.
But frankly in the current economic climate starting two businesses in the next year means it could take 3-5 years before you see any real stability and income, if indeed they even take off. On average new businesses don't make any profit the first two years, most can't even service the debt from the loans they took out to start the businesses.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you how much hard work and long hours it will take to make them a success. Now starting two businesses also doubles the equity needed in the form of loans, it also doubles the risk of failure.
The reason I think you should go baby first is
1. Your biological clock. I know women can have children at any age now, but 35 is still the healthy cut off point. After that the risks to the child's health become profound, for example the risk of Down's Syndrome is 1 in 8 at that age. Assuming the best case scenario here and you are able to conceive and have a child by the end of 2015, that only leaves you another year or two if you decide you'd like to add to your family.
2. Financial stability. You have that now in terms of your job. You don't say that you hate your current job so I think it'd be smarter to hold on to that one while your partner sets up his one. I think it would also give you better security in which to have a child. Honestly, OP, no matter how sure you are of your partner's business you are it may take a long time before it's stable enough to be relied upon, so even without having a baby you'd be better off mitigating the risk by not starting two businesses at the same time anyway. So you have the time to have a baby while you wait for his business to properly get rolling.
3. This is the most important for me. You can set up your business at any time, you can't really have babies at any time without huge risk. You can even wait until you're 40 if you like to set up your dream business. So you can more put that on hold than you can a child especially if you want to keep the option of having another open too.
Given that we may not see a stable Ireland or Europe in terms of economics until the end of the decade, especially if the Brits keep trying to mess with the EU or even vote to leave it, and also given the fact that the whole Crimea thing may mean the EU's largest trading partner is frozen out we could be on cusp of another recession and things are very delicate at the moment, plus don't forget that China's financial growth is grinding to halt and that they were almost single-handedly keeping the rest of us above water, there could be even tougher times ahead. You could find that you spend the next three or four years in debt trying to keep your businesses afloat, only for it not to work out and find that you're in no way financially stable enough to try to have a kid.
The point you said about not being able to afford maternity leave while trying to run your new business is another factor you rightly think could be a disaster. The worst decision you can ever make in a new business is entrusting it's very future on someone else.
I go for a child first while you have a stable income to support it, time to have another if you feel an addition would be great. You dream job can wait and should wait until your partners business is set up and stable anyway, so I'd go with the kid first. You know what will happen with a baby, you can't say what will happen with your business. Plus you can get the hardest, most time consuming first two years of that child's life out of the way before you decide to dedicate 12 hours a day or so to starting up a new business. You'll have your childcare routine set up, and can work your business around being mother instead of throwing a baby into the mix of still trying to find your feet with your new business.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2014): I think it's always best to have babies after you're established in the career you desire AND you're married.
Children deserve the permanence ans stability that comes from knowing their parents made a lifetime commitment to each other before making the lifetime commitment to raise children together.
As children's needs should always come first, you need to start thinking in terms of what would truly be in their best interests rather than what is most convenient for you and your "partner" (though if you aren't married then you have no legal partnership).
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (9 March 2014):
 Trying to break out into a new career with 1 baby and a second pregnancy? I can only imagine how hard that would be, no matter HOW supportive your partner is.
I would go for the clear debts, then career change, then babies.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (9 March 2014):
 I think it's always best to have babies after you're established in the career you desire. That, in my opinion, would come first.
Good luck.
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