My life is a mess! How do I tell my parents that I've failed my degree and won't be graduating after all?
Q. Hi Everyone, I've been following this website for a few years and always been impressed by the advice given so thought I would give it a go. Please don't judge me in my problems, I need help. So nearly 4 years ago, I was in a relationship, my...
A. 24 April 2014: At sambrad - suffering from sexual abuse is something that still affects women years and years later. Sometimes, it doesn't even start causing side effects until a handful of years later, rearing it's head in the form of PTSD. Not putting your ... (read in full...)
My life is a mess! How do I tell my parents that I've failed my degree and won't be graduating after all?
Q. Hi Everyone, I've been following this website for a few years and always been impressed by the advice given so thought I would give it a go. Please don't judge me in my problems, I need help. So nearly 4 years ago, I was in a relationship, my...
A. 24 April 2014: I can't directly relate to what you're going through personally, but from what my girlfriend experiences and has experienced in the past, and from seeing how similar experiences have affected her very similarly to how they've affected you, I can ... (read in full...)
Are women too independent for men these days or have they been so mucked around by men that they have lost interest?
Q. I was in a relationship for 20 years, it ended nearly 2 years ago. It seems woman these days are less wanting of a man in there lives, is this right or are my values a little dated. I like to spend time together watching movies and going out to all...
A. 23 April 2014: Of course women aren't too independent for men. Human beings, by nature, are social creatures. And most require companionship to feel most fulfilled.
But as was touched on by youwish, I think the difference is that women no longer NEED men like... (read in full...)
Should I get rid of this guy because he seems to be hiding something? I'd love to hear your interpretations of his text messages
Q. I have had the most awful experiences with online dating, and am really skeptical about every man I meet now. I'm not sure if I'm looking for red flags because I'm so afraid of not spotting them. I've been on three dates with this 29-year-old...
A. 23 April 2014: I do think it's a bit odd that you can't watch a movie or even cook and eat dinner without having "privacy" in his own home. Lord, how does he even sneeze or take a shit without the neighbors hearing? I'm not saying it's for sure that something is ... (read in full...)
No longer engaged because of his habit of staring at other women. I don't know what to do!
Q. I've been seeing a guy for 2 years. We generally get on well and plan to live together soon, we got engaged recently - that's on hold now... and I'm really not sure about it all because of one massive aspect of his behaviour. He has had this sta...
A. 22 April 2014: Good for you! Very happy to hear this. :)... (read in full...)
Family or boyfriend?
Q. Should i choose my family or boyfriend. Ill keep it very short my boyfriend is beyond amazing he loves me like hell i adore him and he supports me no matter what and will never ever leave me or my family that considers me as a girl less than my ...
A. 22 April 2014: I can understand exactly where you are coming from. I know in many cultures women are not treated equally and given the same opportunities. it must be difficult. It seems that you are tired of feeling second class.
I think you need to figure o... (read in full...)
Family or boyfriend?
Q. Should i choose my family or boyfriend. Ill keep it very short my boyfriend is beyond amazing he loves me like hell i adore him and he supports me no matter what and will never ever leave me or my family that considers me as a girl less than my ...
A. 22 April 2014: I can relate to this question in a way. My girlfriend is half Saudi Arabian and half American. Her mom is Saudi, and her dad is American. She often has this very same dilemma because as is well-known, it's not accepted in Saudi culture to be gay. At ... (read in full...)
Would it bother you to learn that your bf/gf had smoked weed in the past?
Q. Hi Everyone! Quick question here: When I was dating my ex-bf I told him that I had smoked weed with some friends a few times before we started dating (I was 21 at the time and had smoked a total of 7 times in my life) and he FREAKED out, and sa...
A. 22 April 2014: I think your ex boyfriend sounds quite immature and judgmental. I don't smoke, but to each their own. I don't find it a big deal at all. Hell, my partner could tell me that they'd been hooked on coke for years and are now clean, and I would be proud ... (read in full...)
What sexuality am I?
Q. Okay this isn't a major problem but I just wondered. I have always wondered about my sexuality, and when I was 15 I was pretty sure I was bisexual, but since then its kinda changed as I presumed that was just...
A. 22 April 2014: Personally, I don't think you have to label yourself. Sexuality falls on a spectrum. most people aren't completely straight and most people aren't completely gay. I feel like you do, just on the other side of the spectrum. I can only see myself with ... (read in full...)
Is what I'm doing such a bad thing?
Q. I am in a long term relationship but I still speak to an ex without my partners knowledge. Is this really that wrong? I know having my cake and eating it will probably spring to mind but it's really not like that. My boyfriend is a great guy an...
A. 22 April 2014: I will say this in your defense. I can relate because I'm in a very similar situation. However, I'm not 'you' in the circumstance. I'm 'him.' As in, your ex.
I have a very dear friend who I dated for a brief period of time and who is now genui... (read in full...)
He wont ever let me have an opinion.
Q. I love my boyfriend to death he means every thing to me. Today we got in to a hugh argument. It was over some thing so small. I gave my opinion and he got so mad said I was stupid and called me other names so I stood up and told him i was done and I ...
A. 21 April 2014: You say you either need to go to counseling or break up. I thought you did just break up with him? Isn't that what you meant by saying you're done?
I don't blame you for being pissed. I wouldn't tolerate for one second being called stupid or anyth... (read in full...)
I may have already sealed my fate .....
Q. I'm really looking for some guidance and advice, and I hope there is someone here who can give me some, even just a little. I may have already sealed my fate in this scenario but I am not one to give up, especially when its something that I...
A. 21 April 2014: I can't really add a whole lot. I actually think you're doing exactly as you should be doing. that's exactly what I would advise for that given situation.
Giving her space to miss you is the most important thing you can do. Keep it up for a li... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a selfish bitch but I love her.
Q. my gf is a selfish bitch but I still really love her. Ive argued with her a few times over whatwe have said to each other and lately she saidsomething to me and I always have to put up with it but as soon as I say the same thing backshe hates me...
A. 21 April 2014: I would venture to say that if you can call her a selfish bitch, odds are you two probably shouldn't be together. I'd break up. ... (read in full...)
I'm confused by this guy - what's going on here?!
Q. Hi all, I'm a bit confused about a guy I've been seeing. I met him on a night out and we started seeing each other in January. After realising we were rather different people with very different priorities in life (and after doing a couple o...
A. 20 April 2014: I meant to say easy. Not needy ... (read in full...)
I'm confused by this guy - what's going on here?!
Q. Hi all, I'm a bit confused about a guy I've been seeing. I met him on a night out and we started seeing each other in January. After realising we were rather different people with very different priorities in life (and after doing a couple o...
A. 20 April 2014: I understand exactly what you mean. it's needy as outsiders to see things for what they're worth. But when you're emotionally invested, it's another story.
You'll be just fine. good luck.... (read in full...)
I haven't been able to move on in 3 years!
Q. I need some help! I'm currently sat here in tears... most of my weekends pass this way. I broke up with a guy about 3 years ago. I loved him deeply but messed everything up and after a lot of trying he gave up on me. I haven't moved on. I miss him ...
A. 20 April 2014: You say you messed everything up. I'm curious what you feel you did in order to have done that. It sounds as though you're harboring a lot of guilt and it's making it hard for you to let it go.
Usually when people break up, it isn't because ... (read in full...)
Break up because I sent him to work?
Q. Met this guy six months ago. Before that he was working but resigned from his job due to a disagreement with his boss. Six months later and he is still unemployed. Talking all this crap on marriage and having kids which i see it as a sacrifice. I ...
A. 20 April 2014: You can't make him understand you're right. Just the same way he can't convince you that you're wrong.
To be honest, there is no 'right or wrong' here. Just a personal difference in standards. He doesn't want to take a job and is acting like a h... (read in full...)
I really like her but I don't want to ruin our friendship
Q. So I'm a girl and I have recently found myself attracted to my friend who's a girl. When I had my birthday party she told me that she liked this guy, but every time were together it's like we have some connection. There's this other girl that were ...
A. 20 April 2014: That's a tough one. Being gay, I can relate. Especially when I was younger and everyone wasn't out of the closet yet. You had to wonder if they were into girls or if they were straight.
My advice is that if she seems to be in a secret relation... (read in full...)
I'm at a crossroads: Career or Relationship?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm at a crossroads at this point in my life. I need some advice on how to deal with this situation I'm in where I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 7-8 months. We are in love with each other and have i...
A. 20 April 2014: No I don't think you should leave your job and relocate like that. You don't truly know him yet. talking on the phone and interacting for a few weeks in person is completely different than having a relationship where you are with each other all the ... (read in full...)
I'm confused by this guy - what's going on here?!
Q. Hi all, I'm a bit confused about a guy I've been seeing. I met him on a night out and we started seeing each other in January. After realising we were rather different people with very different priorities in life (and after doing a couple o...
A. 20 April 2014: He wants sex. That's pretty much it. And he's getting it without the commitment right now, so why should he want to change anything? if he was actually interested and wanted to be with you, you would know. Guys are black and white in that regard. if ... (read in full...)
Break up because I sent him to work?
Q. Met this guy six months ago. Before that he was working but resigned from his job due to a disagreement with his boss. Six months later and he is still unemployed. Talking all this crap on marriage and having kids which i see it as a sacrifice. I ...
A. 20 April 2014: I didn't address your other issues.
About what to do if you see him. I would just ignore him. I've gotten pretty good at this, as I've actually had to work with an ex before. Just pretend you don't see him. if you're forced into interact... (read in full...)
Break up because I sent him to work?
Q. Met this guy six months ago. Before that he was working but resigned from his job due to a disagreement with his boss. Six months later and he is still unemployed. Talking all this crap on marriage and having kids which i see it as a sacrifice. I ...
A. 20 April 2014: No I don't think you're wrong for how you feel. I'm the same way as you. I'm an adult and adults have jobs and pay bills. To remain happily unemployed for over six months and then turn down jobs, all while living with mommy would drive me crazy. I ... (read in full...)
No longer engaged because of his habit of staring at other women. I don't know what to do!
Q. I've been seeing a guy for 2 years. We generally get on well and plan to live together soon, we got engaged recently - that's on hold now... and I'm really not sure about it all because of one massive aspect of his behaviour. He has had this sta...
A. 18 April 2014: You say: "I have talked this over with him and although he has apologised, he says I am too sensitive and he loves only me and sees only me."
Sees only you??! Really?!?! Is that why he's literally TRIPPING over tables and spilling hot coffee o... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 18 April 2014: Retroactive* not retrograde. ... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 17 April 2014: Your true, core issue is retroactive jealousy. It's being stuck thinking about her with other guys.
This is the core issue you should try focusing on. If you can fix all other aspects of your life, this is just the next notch on your belt. Bu... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 17 April 2014: If you don't like the way something is going in your life, YOU are the only one who can change it. Sitting back and complaining about it yet not really striving to fix it is the worst thing you can do.
Look, if you hate being the stable, reliable... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 17 April 2014: I didn't realize you'd posted on here a bunch of times before. Then my advice changes. You clearly need to work on yourself and your insecurity issues first. Get to the bottom/root cause of why you're feeling this way and then build yourself up from ... (read in full...)
I'm having a confidence breakdown even though she's a virgin!
Q. Theres this girl I was best friends with for years and we get along really well. We thought we froendzoned each other then talked and told each other we liked each other. Theres only one problem, as a friend she told me about the guys she has been ...
A. 17 April 2014: Why would you want to call it off if you like her? Your issue isn't with her. Your issue is with yourself. It's your self-esteem telling you that you can't measure up to these other guys. That's not true.
Truth be told, if you break up with her... (read in full...)
He changed his relationship status and I'm confused!
Q. Hello all:) okay so here is my question... i met this guy online about 6years ago. A year later i finally agreed to meet him, and it was great - no awkward silences etc. It felt as if i had known him my whole life. he works on cruise ships, an...
A. 17 April 2014: It's a blessing in disguise that he's seeing someone and has stopped talking to you. I know you don't see it, but what you two have been doing is unfair to your boyfriend. If my partner woke up every morning to good morning texts from their ex or ... (read in full...)
Is he too bossy or too keen?
Q. Should I be put off by this ?. I have been meeting up with a guy that I met recently. He has told me that he would like to date me, but I'm not sure what to do yet. I recently broke up with someone, and I still miss him. This guy tried to call...
A. 16 April 2014: Just read your update. If his ex was depressed and never went out, and they dated for a while, that may very much explain why he's pushy and doesn't take no for an answer. as someone who is dating someone who differs from depression, I know what ... (read in full...)
Is he too bossy or too keen?
Q. Should I be put off by this ?. I have been meeting up with a guy that I met recently. He has told me that he would like to date me, but I'm not sure what to do yet. I recently broke up with someone, and I still miss him. This guy tried to call...
A. 16 April 2014: Yeah, definitely too bossy or demanding. At the name time, you should just tell the truth. He could probably tell you were lying. He probably just doesn't like feeling lied to.
Most people would let this blow over. I think it's a bit overbear... (read in full...)
I feel like I failed as a girlfriend
Q. I'm feeling hurt and in need of some advice.. I talked to my ex boyfriend recently (whom I am still in love with) and he said although I was "great" he was unhappy in our relationship. I am very hurt by this because I really tried my absolute best...
A. 16 April 2014: There's nothing at all wrong with you. Just because you two didn't work out together doesn't mean there's anything you did wrong. It just means you two weren't right for each other. I know that hurts, but keep in mind that it doesn't mean you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is WAY too much into gaming
Q. Hi guys. Alright.. so I recently got engaged to a wonderful young man. There's only one problem. His ONLY interest seems to be videogames. I ask him what he's passionate about and he literally has no answer. All he does all day, every day is play ...
A. 16 April 2014: You had to have known about his gaming when you agreed to get engaged? Is it just now sinking in now that you've locked yourself into a future with him?
I don't blame you at all for how you feel. That would be an enormous turn off for me. I co... (read in full...)
When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?
Q. When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....
A. 16 April 2014: It's something to look at while masturbating. Much more fun than staring at a blank wall, if you ask me.
Maybe they are fantasizing about being that dude or maybe they just think about their gf's. Either way, it's just masturbation, and whatever... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is involved in criminal activity!
Q. This is going to sound like a really weird question but I feel like I'm going round and round in circles and going mad. I think my boyfriend is into some criminal stuff. I don't actually have physical evidence of this, apart from what I have seen ...
A. 15 April 2014: You're not going crazy. It's blatant. Your boyfriend is clearly up to no good. You'd be blind to ignore it.
He even said you shouldn't buy the laptop in case it's stolen. Why else would he say that? He knows it's stolen. That's your proof th... (read in full...)
Why can't she just wake up and see life away from this idiot?
Q. Why do people stay with abusers? Especially alcoholics who get nasty when they drink? I have a friend in this situation, she is married but they have no children and it would be straightforward for her to leave but all she does is complain and get ...
A. 13 April 2014: I have known a lot of addicts in my life, and I believe it comes from a couple of factors that all play in together to create the ultimate outcome.
A good many of the addicts I have known have had poor coping skills. This may develop from an upbri... (read in full...)
I've caught LDR boyfriend lying. Should I just end it?
Q. I've been dating a guy for 6 months and the entire relationship has been long distance. I met him through friends last year while on vacation in his state and we talked for months online before I flew there to spend a week with him. For the m...
A. 12 April 2014: Number one most important factor of a relationship is trust. Without it, you don't have a functioning relationship. I can't tell which came first; it's like the chicken or the egg type of scenario. Basically, I can't tell if he started lying because ... (read in full...)
The guy doesn't seem to know what he wants and I'm not into playing games. Should I just forget it?
Q. Hi , I need some honest advice . Dated a guy for three months ( he was waiting on his divorce to be finalised ) . He then sends by text the old line " It's not you , it's me ...I am not ready for any kind of relationship " . I felt annoyed ...
A. 12 April 2014: That's up to you, really. But I'm the same as you. I don't like games or the unknown. If you've been seeing each other for three months, he should have figured out by now how he feels about you.
I would probably move on. ... (read in full...)
Loud sex noises at boyfriend's house and now I'm afraid to leave the bedroom!
Q. Cringe!!!!! Went out with my boyfriend last night for my birthday and had a few too many drinks. Were staying at his parents for awhile. Came home and had two lengthy sex sessions that involved a little bit of (amateur) BDSM (rope leather and LOUD ...
A. 12 April 2014: Lol!! I feel your pain. I've experienced that before but not with parents. Just roommates. Either way, you're going to have to face them at some point, so you might as well face it sooner rather than later. Especially since you're staying with them ... (read in full...)
Why can't she just wake up and see life away from this idiot?
Q. Why do people stay with abusers? Especially alcoholics who get nasty when they drink? I have a friend in this situation, she is married but they have no children and it would be straightforward for her to leave but all she does is complain and get ...
A. 9 April 2014: "I realise it's co-dependency and she is just as mentally ill as he is, but why can't she just wake up and see life away from this idiot?"
You answered your own question. Except that neither of them are mentally ill. It's not mental illness.... (read in full...)
Why is she so distant after I told her we could only be platonic friends?
Q. Hi there I had a female friend whom I shared alot of things with! We were only platonic and we knew it since day one! Then,one day I felt she's pushing for it to be more than platonic and I told her she's a great girl but I only think of h...
A. 8 April 2014: The reason she's grown distant is because she had feelings for you and you upset her (not your fault) by friend zoning her. Nkw, she's embarrassed and upset and trying to save face by saying she never thought of you as more.
But rational... (read in full...)
This incident made me question whether our core values are in sync
Q. I feel very disappointed in my girlfriend of almost 4 years yesterday, but I don't think she understands the core issue (or maybe it's not an issue). We are 29 and 28. We were in a car driving to a birthday event about an hour away with my gir...
A. 8 April 2014: I actually really do see where you're coming from. I think some may over-look it and not really think twice. But I wouldn't. I don't blame you.
Now, if originally, the man startled her and made her uncomfortable or uneasy, as sometimes a situatio... (read in full...)
| *lifton's friends
These are mutual friends, so *lifton has
added them and they have added *lifton!
|
