Should I trust my own opinions about my new manager, or believe what the secretary says about her?
Q. I recently started a new job (office work). The manager is nice at a glance. She is a bit picky and micromanages but what manager doesn't? Anyway there is a secretary working here and from day 1 she has tried to misguide my opinion about my mana...
A. 5 June 2014: Well, if the secretary has worked for her for two years, she's most likely seen sides of her you haven't. So I wouldn't just assume the secretary is crazy and making this up. However, I always like to formulate my own opinions of people. So I would ... (read in full...)
How do I Make him stop flirting and cheating?
Q. We have been married for 16yrs, with two children, our youngest is 16. From 2005 my husband has been cheating on me. In 2010 we almost got divorced but he apologised and vowed to stop and seek counselling but that didn't happen. We have been to ...
A. 5 June 2014: Gotta love those who feel the need to spout off the word of god and then behave so disguetingly hypocritical. Makes me sick. He does realize adultery is a part of the ten commandments? Ugh. It wouldn't be as sickening if he didn't portray himself as ... (read in full...)
Did she lie about being pregnant / having an abortion?
Q. I hooked up with this girl 9 weeks ago, we're both teenagers, she told me she loved me after knowing me for only a day. she became annoying and shes a psycho so I blocked her number for 2 weeks. After we had sex she asked me "what if I wasnt really ...
A. 5 June 2014: Exactly what CMMP wrote. Exactly. ... (read in full...)
How do you know if it's going to be just FWBs or lead to something else? I want to avoid being used!
Q. This is a general question which I'm sure will have varied opinions but I'm asking because of situations I've been in which I just don't know how I could have prevented. I'm going to use the classic girl / boy situation because it seems the most ...
A. 5 June 2014: Apparently I didn't read your last two sentences before I posted my first reply. What do you mean that's not how things work anymore? They work like that all the time. Most women I know wait for sex until they are committed. The ones I know who ... (read in full...)
How do you know if it's going to be just FWBs or lead to something else? I want to avoid being used!
Q. This is a general question which I'm sure will have varied opinions but I'm asking because of situations I've been in which I just don't know how I could have prevented. I'm going to use the classic girl / boy situation because it seems the most ...
A. 5 June 2014: I'd say your best bet is to wait until you are in a relationship to have sex. Date and take the time to get to know each other and once that formal commitment is made, then sleep together. I know you said you want to know what you're getting, but ... (read in full...)
I wasn't the one who messed up so why am I the one hurting?
Q. My ex and I had been together almost 4 years. He moved from England to Canada with me 3 years ago in August. We definitely had our rough patches, mainly to do with him speaking inappropriately to other girls. Anyway, on Sunday morning I checke...
A. 5 June 2014: It sounds as if he was wanting the relationship to be over this time. Maybe in the past, he didn't really want things to end. But it seems as if this time, he was ready and somewhat planned it. I think he's most likely been distancing himself from ... (read in full...)
Am I being a gold digger?
Q. I am in a struggle. I met a nice guy last August and we have been dating ever since. Prior to that I was in a long relationship with a man from the US. He is starting to put a bit of pressure on me to take the relationship to the next level and I ...
A. 4 June 2014: I say it just depends on how you feel. Only you know the true answer to that.
It sounds as if you're leaning towards the "he's not right for me" category. And you shouldn't just settle because you want a family. If something is making you feel... (read in full...)
I don't feel loved and I think he is cheating again.
Q. I have been married for 24 yrs I have two kids, one just graduated from college the other from high school. I caught my husband cheating on me in 2010. He admitted the affair and said he was so sorry and would never do such a terrible thing to me ...
A. 4 June 2014: Well I can't say for absolute certainty, but it sure doesn't sound good.
You could hire a private investigator to check out what he's up to if you really want to know. ... (read in full...)
We broke up and I can't imagine myself with anyone but her
Q. Recently my girlfriend of 2 years and I have split up. This is all because of me. I was a jerk to her and didn't appreciate what I had and of course now I realize and of course I want her back.Now I'm only 17 and a junior in high school but I feel ...
A. 4 June 2014: Breakups suck. Plain and simple. And they suck even worse when it's our first true heart break. I remember mine. I thought I was never going to survive. That was when I was 18. I'm now 30. Looking back on it, there's no way we were ever going to ... (read in full...)
Will I be forever stuck as just her friend?
Q. I waited too long and now it us clear that she now only wants to be my friend. I am okay with this for now but if the feelings were there once, could she ever see me as more than a friend again? Or am I stuck forever her friend?...
A. 4 June 2014: There's not a whole lot of background details here to go off of. However, for me, personally, once somebody is friend-zoned, there is no going back. But that's just me.
... (read in full...)
I either want her back or to treat her as an acquaintance
Q. This past Thursday I was dumped my girlfriend who also happens to be a co-worker. I had left a rose outside her door the previous day, and I knew by her lukewarm response that she had already made up her mind to end the relationship. I was prepared ...
A. 4 June 2014: I think you should keep up the small talk like you've been doing. Don't be rude and ignore her, but also don't elaborate or make it be known you miss her or want her back.
I know you feel as though you may want her back, but that may not be in th... (read in full...)
He always has an excuse -- how do I call him on it without seeming clingy?
Q. I have been on and off with a man for almost a year. We care deeply for eachother but I sometimes feel he is taking the lend out of me. We arrange dates and outings but when the day arrives he always cancels and I am left feeling very low about ...
A. 4 June 2014: You're absolutely right - actions do speak louder than words. I think you should cut contact with this guy because he doesn't seem to be interested in you the way you deserve. So it definitely won't sound clingy when you express that.
You s... (read in full...)
I feel like men don't want to enter a relationship with me because I have a child.
Q. I'll try to keep this short. I'm 25 years old and I have a 6 year old daughter I've been dating for the past 4 years since I split from her father. The problem I'm having is I feel like men don't want to enter a relationship with me because I have a ...
A. 3 June 2014: Don't listen to your friends. That's not true at all. While it is true that many men won't want to get involved with a woman with children, there are also plenty of men who wouldn't think twice about it.
Granted, I'm not a man, so I can't sp... (read in full...)
Should I keep him as a friend? Why did he tell me he had sex with her? Should I have a relationship with him?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have feelings for this guy. We've been friends for years and his gf and him are on a break because she had to go to uni for 9 mnths now. We have been spending time together as friends. I have visited his apartment. We kissed and...
A. 3 June 2014: Just saw your update. Good for you :) Take care.
... (read in full...)
Should I keep him as a friend? Why did he tell me he had sex with her? Should I have a relationship with him?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have feelings for this guy. We've been friends for years and his gf and him are on a break because she had to go to uni for 9 mnths now. We have been spending time together as friends. I have visited his apartment. We kissed and...
A. 3 June 2014: You should run for the hills. This guy is a liar and a cheater and he's stringing you along for the ride.
Just because you two didn't have sex does in no way mean that it's not cheating. Kissing and messing around is every bit as much cheating... (read in full...)
Should the bestman go to wedding if his girlfriend is banned?
Q. should my boyfriend who is bestman go to his bestfriend wedding ? i am his girlfriend of 20months i had an unforeseen fallout with the bride tobe and now she and her groom have banded me from the wedding. it was a petty disagrement about a party ...
A. 2 June 2014: Sorry - boyfriend. Not husband. ... (read in full...)
Should the bestman go to wedding if his girlfriend is banned?
Q. should my boyfriend who is bestman go to his bestfriend wedding ? i am his girlfriend of 20months i had an unforeseen fallout with the bride tobe and now she and her groom have banded me from the wedding. it was a petty disagrement about a party ...
A. 2 June 2014: I say just leave it be. He is the best man and I would not interfere with that. I don't think he needs to pick sides in this. At least not when it comes to something so important, such as a wedding.
I believe you should let him go and suck up ... (read in full...)
I miss my girlfriend so much, its making me a miserable mess :(
Q. hi dear aunts, im so sad, i miss my girlfriend too much, I love her to bits and i can not be happy anymore if im not around her. we are long distance, continents apart. we have been that way for two years now and we will finally close the distance ...
A. 2 June 2014: Basically what I'm picking up from your post is that you're feeling a lack of trust in the relationship. You're feeling uncomfortable with her friendship with this other man, and you're not there to be able to do anything about it or at least access ... (read in full...)
Is cell phone snooping okay?
Q. Is it okay for someone you are dating to go into your cell phone behind your back and look at text messages you have received and sent to other people?...
A. 31 May 2014: Absolutely not. Total invasion of privacy, as well as a lack of trust. Deal-breaker for me. ... (read in full...)
I've got a boyfriend but I have a HUGE crush on his cousin.
Q. Ohkay , so im dating this guy ( lets say his name is ... bob ) bob and I are really close and i really love him , we broke up and then got back together. ( , but when we got back together we werent as close )anyway so then me and his cousin started ...
A. 31 May 2014: Break up with "Bob." ... (read in full...)
She said my 'offer' isn't good enough?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years and I recently asked her to move in with me. However she turned me down. I'll admit we've had our arguments over the years, mainly because she kept saying she thought I acted single but I've never ...
A. 30 May 2014: She wants to know that you at least foresee a potential future with her. I don't think she's asking nor expecting you to marry her now. Rather, just that you can see it as a possibility down the road.
I can get where she's coming from. While I'... (read in full...)
Did I over react when I dumped him?
Q. My boyfriend - I guess now ex boyfriend - is in his late 40s. We were dating a year and a half - exclusive for a year and 3 months. Over that time, I brought up the future several times. I want marriage and a kid and am ready to start nesting. He ...
A. 29 May 2014: Hey there.
Let me first begin by saying that drinking and driving is not only incredibly dangerous, but incredibly selfish. You're not just placing yourself at risk; you're placing innocent people at risk. It's very immature and I would be very ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to act when I meet my ex again?
Q. Next month I'm going to a concert with a pair of friend of mine, but I've just found out there will be my ex too with us. I've been in a relationship with an incredible guy for the past six months, but I can't say I've completely forgotten my ex. T...
A. 29 May 2014: If you really believe it to be a potential problem, just sell your tickets and don't go. It's not worth reopening any wounds and effecting your current relationship.
If you don't believe it's going to create that big of an issue, but just be ... (read in full...)
What is more important: being comfortable in a relationship or having a similar level of attraction to each other?
Q. I wanted to share my point of view on attraction in relationships. Obviously there has to be attraction for a relationship to work. But in my opinion, go for someone you're moderately attracted to over someone you're insanely attracted to. Me...
A. 29 May 2014: So in other words, insecure women should date "down" so that they don't care enough about their partner to overreact to the things they normally would overreact to if they found their partner to be attractive? How about simply getting over the ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about my addiction!
Q. Am 25 yrs women with no child and I need help. I'm confused ever since the is this lesbian used to give me attention and loving I start have bad addiction of musterbating each and every time when am alone I use my spare time on bedroom and ...
A. 29 May 2014: There's nothing wrong with masturbation. Don't convince yourself you're doing anything wrong.
You say you watch lesbian porn instead of "normal" porn. Lesbian porn is not abnormal. That's a misconception you need to get out of your head. That asi... (read in full...)
I mentioned my ex and now this man has blocked me
Q. When I was in college a guy lived next door and I lived there until the end of college and moved and he went to michigan we were just friends and neighbors. He came into town not to long ago and low and behold his aunt is next door that he was ...
A. 28 May 2014: Agreed. I think it was your comment. It was a bit on the too much information side. I think couple that with the fact that he probably is insecure and you have the perfect storm. I think retrograde jealousy also plays a big part.
... (read in full...)
What is more important: being comfortable in a relationship or having a similar level of attraction to each other?
Q. I wanted to share my point of view on attraction in relationships. Obviously there has to be attraction for a relationship to work. But in my opinion, go for someone you're moderately attracted to over someone you're insanely attracted to. Me...
A. 28 May 2014: I think that if you truly love someone, you DO think they are the most attractive person in the world. They go hand in hand. ... (read in full...)
We don't make love anymore, we just have sex!
Q. I am in a long distance relationship as of about a year ago. We have been together for 3 years. The last 3 times we have been together we hardly make love and is more like sex. This past weekend we were together after not seeing each other for 4 ...
A. 28 May 2014: I would say you're more focused on the wrong thing. Yes, I am a firm believer that dreams have a deeper meaning. However, sex dreams don't tend to represent sex as a whole. Often times, sex dreams may represent a number of different things, sex ... (read in full...)
How hard should I try to make this relationship work, even though he has a fear of commitment?
Q. My current boyfriend and I have a very romantic and dramatic start. Now we have around one year and a half dating. It's my second longest relationship and i'm very proud and happy since i went through a lot of frogs back in the day. The proble...
A. 28 May 2014: I don't think the words you're "way too much in love" should ever be muttered from someone's mouth when you've been together for a while. Of course it made you feel as if you love him more than he loves you. How else is that to be interpreted? It's ... (read in full...)
He's a sweet and wonderful guy, but he never wants to go out and do anything
Q. My boyfriend is gentle and makes me laugh, is loyal and sweet, helps me when I need it, makes sure I'm safe. I love him too, but things are getting just.. Ridiculously boring. I love going on walks when the weather is good, or to the beach...
A. 27 May 2014: Is he suffering from depression? That would be my first question. Depression can cause a complete disinterest in any and all things. ... (read in full...)
My ex treated me better than this boyfriend!
Q. I was in a relationship for 9 yrs with my ex boyfriend who I dumped a year ago since the relationship was going no where and there was lot of trouble as it was a long distance relationship. After breaking up I immediately got into another ...
A. 27 May 2014: It doesn't have to be either this guy or your ex. You and your ex already broke up for specific reasons. You said you were fighting a lot and the relationship was going nowhere. Just because this guy isn't as passionate as your ex doesn't mean your ... (read in full...)
Is my new boyfriend a tight wad?
Q. I met a 45 year old lovely guy who said he is ' careful with money' On our first date he asked if I was going to buy the second round of drinks.I laughed and said it was only a coke both times but felt embarrassed me made the point. Then we agreed ...
A. 27 May 2014: Well it's either one of two things: 1) he's cheap as hell and super stingy, or 2) he's currently struggling with money (perhaps the reconstruction he's undergoing with his home is costing him a lot) and is ashamed to admit it.
If it's number o... (read in full...)
I am sick of being depressed and it is as if he just doesn't care.
Q. I am having problems with my husband not supporting me emotionally. I have depression and anxiety disorder. I become irrational when I feel someone has done me wrong. Multiple times I have gone to my husband in need of emotional support and he ...
A. 27 May 2014: Hey there. I understand the emotions you are suffering, as my partner sufferers the same - panic disorder and depression, as well as other things. It's been a long road for us both to learn how to communicate effectively. We still have bumps in the ... (read in full...)
After a year I still don't have my online boyfriend's phone number
Q. Met a guy online over a year ago, we fell in love, never spoke on phone. It is a LDR and I gave him my number but he never gives me his. Lately, he is busier at work and he says he loves me but I don't know what's going on. Is it normal t...
A. 27 May 2014: No, not normal at all. He's probably married or living some sort of double life. Move on and find a man you can actually see and speak to in real life. This guy is up to something. Good luck. ... (read in full...)
Twenty eight and throwing tantrums
Q. My lovely live in boyfriend has some sort of anxiety and depression. He has spoken to people about it in the past, and been on antidepressants before my time. His recount on things I've said or scenarios that have happened where he ended up getting ...
A. 27 May 2014: And I, too, also agree that he sounds as if he may have a personality disorder. The types of behaviors he's displaying are relatively normal for someone suffering. What others typically perceive as a relatively minor issue, someone with a ... (read in full...)
Twenty eight and throwing tantrums
Q. My lovely live in boyfriend has some sort of anxiety and depression. He has spoken to people about it in the past, and been on antidepressants before my time. His recount on things I've said or scenarios that have happened where he ended up getting ...
A. 27 May 2014: Yes, completely agree that this is not a tantrum. A tantrum doesn't involve physical violence.
OP, your boyfriend lost control so much, that he physically harmed you. If that doesn't alarm you, it should. He's unpredictable and now, he's proven t... (read in full...)
Should I ditch my boyfriend of 3 years because he's moving to NYC for a year or two?
Q. My bf of 3yrs is going to NYC for 1yr (maybe 2) He is 25 and I will be 30 this year. At first I was supportive. That he applied to go and got through. Now he is leaving in 2dys and when I think of it I get angry. He expects it will be fine and...
A. 27 May 2014: Then again, you don't specify what he's travelling to New York for. If it's just for partying and just because he wants the experience, then I say you two may be in different places emotionally. I suppose a little more background info would be more ... (read in full...)
Should I ditch my boyfriend of 3 years because he's moving to NYC for a year or two?
Q. My bf of 3yrs is going to NYC for 1yr (maybe 2) He is 25 and I will be 30 this year. At first I was supportive. That he applied to go and got through. Now he is leaving in 2dys and when I think of it I get angry. He expects it will be fine and...
A. 27 May 2014: I've been in/am in your very same situation, and I perceive things quite differently. Maybe my perspective can give you a different spin on it all.
My girlfriend and I have been together for approaching the two year mark, and she had dreams o... (read in full...)
They are all vain, shallow and racist. Will I be alone for ever?
Q. Hi, I'm a 19 year old gay guy who's never been in a relationship. And I feel really terrible about it. I hate feeling lonely and depressed all the time. But I feel like I'll be alone forever. I know it seems like it should be but the gay community ...
A. 27 May 2014: As a "member" of the gay community, I suppose I can see where you're coming from. The thing is, I don't think it's just the gay community that does this. I think it's just the nature of dating, in general. Your problems don't sound just like ... (read in full...)
Is my Bf's outlook on ever or never having children normal?
Q. So my boyfriend loves kids, and he's so cute playing with them etc. however we've talked and he's on the fence about actually having kids. He's absolutely fine with having them if I want em but he just can't see where people find the time for it. ...
A. 27 May 2014: I'm a woman and I think his thought process is normal. I feel exactly as he does (I'm 30).
Having kids CAN be restricting and it's a HUGE, life-altering decision. I see exactly where he's coming from. I feel the exact same way. So I don't think it... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to enjoy him when the sex is amazing, even though I find him annoying at other times?
Q. So this guy for quite a while has been hitting on me trying to get it on etc even though he knew I found his personality completely annoying. I don't know what it is but he really irritates me. I got very drunk a few days ago and somehow ended up...
A. 27 May 2014: No, as long as you both are on the same page. As long as you both just want a fwb relationship, it sounds great. ... (read in full...)
I don't feel loved and I think he is cheating again.
Q. I have been married for 24 yrs I have two kids, one just graduated from college the other from high school. I caught my husband cheating on me in 2010. He admitted the affair and said he was so sorry and would never do such a terrible thing to me ...
A. 26 May 2014: First, it's good that you realize that your husband is telling lies. The heart often only hears what it chooses/wants to hear. So by him insisting that someone is setting him up (laughable), it's easy to fall into the trap of believing him because ... (read in full...)
I don't feel loved and I think he is cheating again.
Q. I have been married for 24 yrs I have two kids, one just graduated from college the other from high school. I caught my husband cheating on me in 2010. He admitted the affair and said he was so sorry and would never do such a terrible thing to me ...
A. 25 May 2014: either that or he's told her that you two are separated.... (read in full...)
I don't feel loved and I think he is cheating again.
Q. I have been married for 24 yrs I have two kids, one just graduated from college the other from high school. I caught my husband cheating on me in 2010. He admitted the affair and said he was so sorry and would never do such a terrible thing to me ...
A. 25 May 2014: PS: don't tell for his BS.... (read in full...)
I don't feel loved and I think he is cheating again.
Q. I have been married for 24 yrs I have two kids, one just graduated from college the other from high school. I caught my husband cheating on me in 2010. He admitted the affair and said he was so sorry and would never do such a terrible thing to me ...
A. 25 May 2014: Wow, yeah, your husband is full of shit. He's cheating on you again. That much is clear. Some strange woman knows your name and is calling from a blocked number? That's blatant. All of the other little things are just the icing on the cake; the ... (read in full...)
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